Clarity

"Didn't you have something to say?"

Hillary Tachibana, the current coach of the BBA Revolution, stared icily through the dimly lit hallway and at a certain double-maned beyblader, who's urgent,'Meet me in the hallway across the cafeteria in ten minutes' text had provoked a tide of emotions in her that she didn't quite know how to handle. She was supposed to be at the bleachers right then; their match against the F-Dynasty would be starting any minute. But for some unfathomable reason, she was here; right at the beck and call of their ex-Captain, who was merely leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. So typical.

Her weakness for him annoyed her.

People wandered in and out of the cafeteria, some too much in a rush to get back to the bleachers to catch the battle to notice them, while others giving fleeting gazes in their direction –having recognized at least one, if not both, of the teens who stood occupying a small corner of the hall outside the cafeteria exit – and mumbled something amongst themselves in disapproving tones. No one dared near them though, leaving a fine area around them unoccupied.

Not that it mattered, Hillary thought to herself as Kai continued to gaze at her with a blank expression; unspeaking and unmoving. Uncomfortable, she shifted her weight but her gaze didn't falter and her self-assured demeanor didn't let on the mixture of annoyance, a little bit of sadness and a whole lot of urgency that she was feeling.

It was only when the crowd had almost dispersed, leaving the halls almost silent, that she heard the voice she didn't quite realize she'd yearned so much to hear again, "I just wanted to see you."

Hillary didn't know what to say now. When she'd received his message, she had been hesitant about whether she should go. Needless to say she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to see him after all that had happened. She didn't think she wanted to see any of the others either. She wasn't a child; she fully understood why everyone left. She wasn't foolish either; it was only inevitable that they did. She sometimes looked back on it and she wondered why everyone –including her, and especially Tyson- was surprised, amongst many things, that they did leave.

Tyson.

He wasn't going to take her meeting Kai like this very lightly. Usually, she wouldn't care (she could see whoever she wanted) but he had been in a very vulnerable state, often yelling at her and even Kenny to 'leave just like everybody else did' and she didn't want to give him any pretext to doubt her. Not to mention, she herself had been…dubious.

But then again –

"How are you?" She finally settled on saying.

Kai Hiwatari looked the same. Maybe a little worn, just a bit jagged, somewhat exhausted, but still the same. Hillary often found herself with her hand on the 'send' button of a draft message whose recipient would be him. Sometimes, she'd open up her contacts to almost press the green call button in front of his name. Many times, she'd scroll through the thread of conversations with him, the monosyllabic 'Ok's and the urgent 'I'm at the park', signifying that he had something on his mind and he wanted it out.

(He was always at the park, and she would always find him, and he would always let her.)

Most of the time, however, she'd just put her phone out of sight to rid herself of the temptation. She didn't understand why he left them, especially Tyson, to manage without him right after Ray and Max did the same; just when Tyson needed him to be the supportive, always-there-for-us friend that he had thought Kai was. She couldn't comprehend just why the urge to go against Tyson dominated any small portion of loyalty for him; after all this time, especially for Kai.

She didn't quite understand why she wasn't informed of this decision.

"Fine." Came the blunt reply, and Hillary only just managed to prevent her eyes from narrowing into slits at the rudeness of it. "How's Tyson doing?"

"Perfectly fine."

Hillary did not like what seemed to have been the point of texting her and wanting to see her. She was not naïve; she was the least expectant and therefore scarcely surprised when Tyson's well-being was questioned, as if she hardly mattered. When, not out of pride or contempt or jealousy, she should and she Goddamn should have known when he decided to leave.

But she wasn't surprised. Kai Hiwatari– despite their moments of understanding and flashes of being of assistance to each other –was, after all, Kai Hiwatari; the reckless abandons were somewhat of a tradition for sailors who were born to sail solo.

And he was a frigging Captain.

He chuckled at the defensiveness in her voice, "Make sure he doesn't do anything brash."

"I don't need you to tell me how to get him in line."Hillary rolled her eyes, purely out of disdain. "Especially when you yourself were the one to push him out of it."

"One of the few."He corrected, somewhat amused. Hillary would have been enraged, she should have been enraged, but she wasn't. All she ever felt concerning her friends these days, was indifference; anything else was a waste of feelings really and she'd long since decided that. Long since stopped hoping to God that everything was all just a phase, because she now knew for sure that it was and long since stopped pining over everyone leaving when she was fairly certain that when the time comes, and everyone would have been judged and evaluated, they'd be standing beside each other again; hand in hand and shoulder to shoulder-

-and, as always was the case, she should know when they decide it but she won't.

And she wouldn't be surprised.

So why, she found herself wondering as she started to leave the hallway, did it matter if she nodded in consent to the statement thrown carelessly over his shoulder as she passed him by?

"I would like to keep in touch."

Author's note:

I'msorryIcan'thelpbutwriteangstsometimes. *sighs*

Something I wrote on a whim. This takes place between everyone leaving and Tyson finally coming to terms with everyone leaving. As is apparent, he still hasn't. But this was about KaiHil and Kai wanting to stay in touch with her- or everyone else through her. Whatever you take it as.

The title was taken from John Mayer's (this dude's AWESOME) Clarity (Was there a second of time that I looked around? Did I sail through or drop my anchor down? Was anything enough to kiss the ground? And say I'm here now and she's here now ^.^)

I've been a little slow. Lol. I can't write fast anymore. BUT, h&c5 is nearly almost done. Just one scene left. So, yeah. Maybe this is why I ended up writing another angsty one shot again. H&C is hardly what you would call angsty and my inner demon was feeling angst-deprived. Huh.

Also, um, I updated my profile a few days back. So, my recent activities have been up there and the current status of my stories. And, a thing or two that a few people might not be glad to know, so...

But, anyways. Review on this and lemme know how it was :3 I would appreciate it.

Special thanks to KHL, who gave it a once over, and who wanted to read something about Kai and Hil remaining in touch despite being on different teams, and she let me know that through a text that I read right in the middle of writing this. And which inspired the last line of this fic.

Signing off :)