I flipped through the channels mindlessly, looking for anything to cure my boredom. Normally I cracked out on Netflix, but lately Netflix was doing this cute thing where they had every movie except the ones I wanted to watch.
"Ooh! A Great Escape concert! Can we watch it, please?" My best friend Trish squealed and pleaded. I rolled my eyes and wordlessly switched it on. If there was one band I could not stand, it was The Great Escape.
They were just another boy band with no talent, loads of prepubescent fangirls, and egos the size of the sun. I failed to see how Trish and I were best friends, since her taste in music was an abomination.
"How can you stand this shit?" I asked, groaning as they started their next song. Trish opened her mouth to give me a lecture, when Austin started singing, and she squealed again. God, the music now was terrible; It was so meaningless, and the crap lyrics were hidden behind stupid dubstep beats.
"You just hate them because you don't listen to anything from this century. And if you do, they're all screaming, with their gargled guitar riffs, and whiney lyrics."
"Hey man, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, and the Rolling Stones were influential bands whose music shaped the crap you are currently listening to. They were amazing, and you should be thanking them for their precious gift to you."
"Fair enough, but come on, none of them were attractive. Now, Austin Moon on the other hand…"
"I beg to differ. His hair is clearly fake blonde; There is nothing attractive about fake. Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, John Lennon, Ringo Starr, and George Harrison… They were very attractive."
"Yeah, I know. My mom had the biggest crushes on Mick and Ringo. Maybe you and my mom can be bff's, since you both have terrible taste in music, and men."
"Maybe we should. After all, she likes men, and not little bitches like Austin Moon. And, she listens to music that has real meaning, instead of all this drug, sex, and puppydog love you're so obsessed with. My taste in music is perfect." I state simply, before glancing at the clock and groaning.
The carnival didn't start until 6, and it was only 4. Plus, the damn concert didn't end until 5. I was in hell.
"Oh, come on Ally. Even you have to agree that Austin Moon is sexy."
"Certainly, if you think a fake, blonde manwhore is sexy, then of course. I, however, like men, and not a teeny-bopper boy who hasn't even completed puberty yet."
Trish sighs and turns up the volume, adding to my torture. I was going to murder her here shortly.
"Speaking of the Great Escape.. I um… er… I heard they're having a concert here next week. I really want to go!"
"You have fun. Make sure you bring pepper spray and wear protective clothing. You never know what some of those people might have."
"Ally, please go with me?" Trish begs, pausing the concert and giving me a pleading look.
"Ha, yeah! I'll add it to my bucket list, right under dating an 82 year old man."
"Come on, I'll do anything!"
I cock an eyebrow, a smirk slowly spreading across my face. "Anything?"
"Anything."
"So, you'll go to a Rolling Stones concert with me?"
"Well… Anything but that."
"No deal then. Do you even have tickets?"
"Not yet, but I will get them, hopefully."
"Well, good luck with that. I'm going to go take a shower now."
And with that I bolted from the room before Trish could find another reason to hold me prisoner in the living room. I still had an hour before I needed to start getting ready, but if it got me out of listening to Trish fawn over Austin Moon, then I was all for it.
It wasn't that I really had anything against the Great Escape. I mean, I hated them, but I respected them to an extent. After all, I wasn't worldwide famous, or drenched in money.
I just thought their lyrics were too typical boy band.
I turn on the water and crank up The Rolling Stones, before stepping into the warm heaven that is a shower.
War, children, it's just a shot away,
It's just a shot away.
War, children, it's just a shot away.
It's just a shot away.
I sing to the song as I go through a long process of shaving and body washing. But, as all great things do, it all eventually comes to an end, and I am out of things to do in the shower. I toweled off and begin doing my makeup. I don't do too much, since I'm not really planning on getting my flirt on tonight, or anything.
** Skipping to the Carnival**
"Come on, Ally! I want to ride the Zipper before it closes!" Trish yelled, skipping a few steps ahead of me. Where did she store all that energy?
I sighed, and absentmindedly slipped my hand in my pocket, feeling for my phone. Surprise, surprise, it wasn't there at all. I felt panic sweep over me, as I begin frantically patting myself down, searching for it. Trish, who had noticed I was not right behind her, walked back to me with a questioning look.
"Alls, now is not the time to be getting frisky. Think of the children." She teased.
I groaned, as the panic started settling in. "Dude, I can't find my phone." I say, my tone slightly agitated.
"Don't be a derp, Ally. You probably put it in your bra or something."
"No, it's not there. I don't put anything in my bra. That's a great way to get breast cancer. I checked my pockets and my purse. I don't have it."
"Well, you had it when we were at the food court…"
"The food court! I think I left it there. Go get in line, I'll be there." I called over my shoulder as I started sprinting towards the food court.
I spotted an iPhone on the table and practically cried in relief. Yet another disaster successfully evaded by Ally Dawson. I sprinted back to Trish, and reached her just as it was our turn.
"Did you find it?"
"Yep." I grin happily as we board the Zipper.
"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick!" Trish groans, clutching her stomach.
"You better not puke in my car." I warn, as we walk through the parking lot. "Stop being a baby. You're the one who wanted to ride the Zipper." I unlock the doors and we slide in.
I start the ignition and Toto blasts through my speakers. Trish groans again, glancing at me, her face displaying her adment horror at my taste in music.
"Can we please listen to someone who's not dead, please?"
"Toto is still alive."
"But, they're awful!" Trish says, protesting.
"Rule one of riding shotgun in Ally Dawson's car; The driver picks the music, and the passenger shuts her cakehole." And with that, I turn up the music louder.
It's not in the way that you hold me.
It's not in the way you say you care.
It's not in the way you've been treating my friends.
It's not in the way that you'll stay till the end.
It's not in the way you look, or the things that you say that you do.
Hold the line, love isn't always on time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa…
I awake with my phone ringing. Only, it isn't my ringtone, because I sure as hell don't listen to Taio Cruz.
I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart…
"I'm going to break someone's face, that's for damn sure." I grumble, glancing at my alarm clock.
3:03 a.m… Who in the actual fuck was calling me at 3? Possibly Jared, my impossible brother, who was most likely drunk and needed a ride home.
"The party better have been pretty damn stupefying, since you've decided to be gracious and wake me up at 3 in the morning to pick your drunk ass up. I was in bed." I hiss into the phone.
"Bed? What are you wearing?" An unfamiliar voice asks, amused.
I shoot upright in my bed. "Who is this?"
"Who is this?"
"I asked you first." I snap, now fully awake and very irritated.
"The owner of the phone you are currently holding."
"Come again? You must be mistaken. This is my phone."
"No, it isn't. Assuming your phone has a picture of two girls making disturbing and questionable faces as the background, I have your phone."
"That's impossible! How the hell did you get your greasy mitts on my phone? This stuff doesn't happen to me."
"And who is 'me'?"
"My mother told me never to share personal information with strangers."
"Look, we have to be on a name-of-some-sort basis, because eventually we will have to meet up in order to make the exchange. And I feel like yelling "Hey, strange girl with the sexy voice that I woke up at 3, where are you? Stand up and come hither!" is going to sound just a tad bit strange. It would damage my reputation."
"Well, we certainly wouldn't want that to happen. I mean, you wouldn't get laid." I say, feining mock sympathy for him.
"It would be a crime. The ladies line up to be with me."
"The only thing they line up for is STD checks afterwards."
"Feisty… I like it."
"Yeah? Well, I'm going to end your breathing! You interrupted my sleep." I grumble, desperately wanting to end this nightmare call.
"Well, I'm sorry, princess. We certainly wouldn't want you to miss out on your beauty sleep. Now, name?"
"Ally."
"Nice to meet you."
"Oh, I can think of nicer ways to meet someone, and waking them up in the middle of the fucking night is not one of them."
"I'm Austin." He says, his tone indicating that I should know who he is.
"Well, Austin, can our very inconvenient conversation wait until morning?"
"It is morning."
'Ha, ha." I say sarcastically. "You're a comical genius."
"I know. It's just one of the many things girls love about me."
"Oh, you mean besides your massive ego?" I scoff.
"Yes, besides that. You know, you sound pretty sexy on the phone."
"Thank you, I try. I'm going to bed now. Good night, Jupiter."
"Jupiter? It's Austin."
"I think Jupiter suits you better. You are clearly not on the intellectual side of things. So, like the old rhyme goes 'Boys go to Jupiter to get stupider.' Now, if you're quite done annoying the living piss out of me, I'm going to bed now."
"It's so adorable that we already have nicknames for each other. I think I'll call you princess. You can be my princess, and I can be your prince."
I groan in annoyance and end the call. God, of course, I had to have something like this happen to me. And it had to be with the stereotypical male specimen; Cocky, arrogant, ignorant, and inconsiderate.
I'm officially the luckiest girl in the world. I mean, he had all the traits that I desired in a possible male candidate. We were going to get along just fine. Infact, I could see us as best friends now. Right after I successfully disposed of his body and ridded the world of another asshole.