Hurricane

Chapter 15: Despair

This was all her fault.

She'd been too complacent. It has been years since Aurora claimed the throne, and although there was much dissension at first, things have been smoothed out over time. Rifts were repaired, arguments were civilly settled, and alliances with other kingdoms had been made. Aurora made a good queen, and with Phillip at her side, Maleficent thought everything was going to be fine at long last.

She was wrong. And she never realized how utterly wrong she was until she was fighting for her life against a large army who knew a fae's weakness- iron. It was an ambush. They were lured out here. A group of people claiming to be an oppressed minority wanted to come to an agreement with the queen. They refused to come to the castle, so they were to meet in a particular place, a middle ground of sorts. So as not to threaten the group, Aurora only brought Phillip, Maleficent, Diaval, and the handful of soldiers comprising the royal guard. But it was a trap. The next thing she knew, soldiers were cornering her. She commanded Phillip and Aurora to flee and call for reinforcements, so the task of fending off this army fell on her and Diaval for the moment. The few soldiers they have brought were easily overpowered by the opposition. The army was proving to be too well-prepared to be handled by just the two of them and help was too far away. She was doing her best and then some, but it was clear the enemies were gaining the upper hand.

Diaval has transformed into a dragon, breathing fire and wreaking havoc where he can. But it was too difficult to guard all of his sides. Some soldiers have managed to temporarily chain him enough for the others to get a good shot at a dragon's weak spot- its eye. Arrows arc through the air towards Diaval's eye, and the pain proved to be too much for him to maintain his dragon form. He unwillingly shifts back to his most utilised form- his human body. An arrow is still lodged in his eye. Maleficent hears his scream of agony, and she tries to push back her enemies to rush to his aid, but everything happens so fast and she sees a soldier raise a sword to strike Diaval. She then felt a blade pierce her back, and she stumbles and falls on her face in pain. She lifts her head enough to see the soldier bring down the sword on Diaval's weakened body, and her own cry of desolation is the last thing she hears.

The following events are something she only knows through narratives:

Aurora and Phillip came back with reinforcements. Aurora's soldiers and the creatures of the Moor fought valiantly, forcing what was left of the enemy's army to flee. They brought back Maleficent and Diaval's unconscious bodies to the Moor. However, the fight has caused the most powerful faeries to lose much of their power, and none of them were ever as powerful and adept at magic as Maleficent was. Maleficent and Diaval were both terribly wounded, and the faeries had to pool their magic together to even have a chance of saving them.

They did manage to save one of them. In the end, it came down to the choice of who to save first, and naturally, the Moor's allegiance lay with Maleficent, the most powerful faery. They did enough to heal her most severe injuries, and her magic has been restored enough for it to work for most of her recovery. The faeries moved quickly to attend to Diaval, but he was barely alive and they didn't have enough magic left. They ran out of strength. He ran out of time.

There had been a funeral. She let Aurora speak the final words before they buried his body. Many were surprised Maleficent didn't say anything at all. She was there, but they didn't realize her mind wasn't with them. It was with the man now buried under layers of soil, in those last good moments she had with him. She was with him in the skies, feeling the rush and the wind and the sun. She was with him in the deep of the night where they'd idly talk and his arms were around her and her fingers traced patterns on his chest. She was with him in the heat of the moment, where nothing existed except them and the love they had for each other. She was with him. And then she wasn't.

She visited his grave everyday. It was located in his favorite part of the Moors, where you can look out to the lush green mountains and relish the solitude. Yet it was near enough the heart of the Moor that she only needed to call out for him to know she needed him. It was one of the revelations he spouted off at random back then. She was sure he had burrowed deeper into her heart that day.

She always prefaces her one-sided conversation with "hello, Diaval", still foolishly hoping for an answer. She sits opposite the grave marker they set up, and talks about the most random of things. Sometimes she ends up crying hysterically, furious at him for leaving her, shouting things at him as if shouting can bring him back. Sometimes, she lets the tears fall from her eyes softly while she recounts some of her fondest memories of him. During those times, she ends her visit hugging her knees and whispering, "I miss you". Most of the time, though, she talks until she gets tired of talking and she just falls silent and stares out the fields, eyes unseeing. What else is there to say, after all? He was there for every memory she has of him, and so retelling them to him is just inane. Talking is futile, because she doesn't know if he could actually hear her and more importantly, he can't answer back. He can't, because he's gone. And as much as she pretends the silence around her is the same silence she used to share with him when they just sat together and did nothing, it isn't because she isn't sitting with him. There is no together. There's just her and a grave marker.

The only thing that's as constant as her hellos are her goodbyes- she always says "I love you" before leaving, because she reckons she's never said it enough and in the small chance that he can hear her, she wants those words to be the last he hears from her, everyday.

Aurora still visits her. The beastie is worried; Maleficent knows this. During the first few weeks following the ambush, she didn't go back to the castle at all. But she has duties there, so she only visits now. Her visits used to be really frequent but now it has dwindled down. Maleficent doesn't mind. Aurora is grieving but she needs to move on. She cannot serve her kingdom well if she doesn't.

If Maleficent was being honest, she's actually relieved she doesn't see Aurora as often now because she feels absolutely conflicted when she sees the girl. She loves Aurora, but recently it has felt more like a statement than a truth. Whenever she sees the beastie, all she could think of are the days of raising her and taking care of her, the days spent with Diaval. He was her partner in that task. He was her partner in everything. She has no words for how empty she feels now that she has to do everything alone.

Maleficent has also begun to question her feelings for Aurora, because sometimes she looks at the golden-haired lass and Maleficent wishes she's never met Aurora. An awful part of her blames the innocent queen because if it weren't for her then Maleficent wouldn't have opened her heart to love. Then, she ponders, maybe losing Diaval wouldn't be this painful. These thoughts never last, of course, since she knows she's loved Diaval long before she realized she loved Aurora. What meeting Aurora has done is give her the ability to confront and accept her feelings, but she knew they were already there. No matter how you spin the events, the truth was that she loved Diaval. She loved him. The circumstances don't matter; even if one changes the way their lives had gone, she knows for certain her heart will always find its way to him.

She never sleeps these days. She just lays awake until her body can't take it anymore and it sinks into unconsciousness. However, it's not sleep. It's not rest at all, because her body still feels like lead the next day. The worst part of it all is that whenever she wakes up, for one second she forgets everything. For one glorious moment, she is in blissful ignorance- and then she remembers. She remembers, and it just feels like she's hearing the words "I'm sorry, he's gone" again and the pain feels as raw as it did the day she first found out. The pain blossoms to her chest and spreads to the tips of her fingers. It settles in her stomach. It flows to her legs. It reaches the deepest parts of her and she wonders why they call it heartbreak when everything- everything- feels so broken as well. Every morning she has to wake up to the realization that he has left her behind and she has to survive another day without him. Every time it hits her she finds it difficult to breathe. Whenever this happens she fervently and desperately prays her lungs would finally fail.

She wonders if she'll ever forget his voice.

She talks to him in her head during the day, aside from the conversations she has with him at his grave. She talks to him and tries to imagine him answering back. She does this because she's downright terrified that if she didn't, she'd forget what his voice sounded like.

She's afraid she'll forget the way he said "I love you".

She's afraid she'll forget the way he used to kiss her, the way he used to touch her, the way he used to look at her.

She's afraid she'll forget the way his hands used to fit hers.

But most of all, she's afraid she'll live long enough to actually forget these things. She doesn't know if she can take more of the days where he isn't by her side. She's afraid these days will stretch on and on and on.

One of her tasks as Guardian of the Moors is to survey the land aerially and make sure there are no immediate threats. She has no right to abandon her duty but she wonders what it would cost if she just walked throughout the land. She hates flying. She used to love it, and when she didn't have her wings it was something she dearly missed, but now she just hates it because it's another thing she used to do with him. Every time she flies she remembers when they used to fly together. He would always complain about her huge wings and the advantage it gives her, and she would just laugh and say he whines too much. However, he did confess to her one time that he actually likes tailing behind her because sometimes he just likes watching her fly. It's when she's most beautiful, he said, when she has this big smile of bliss on her face and she just lets the wind blow her hair whichever way. He has only said it once and she's never forgotten it. She's never forgotten the adoration in his voice, either. It's all she can hear whenever she flies nowadays.

It's when she flies that she feels her misery is most potent. Whenever she has to fly she just wishes she were dead. But flying is also the best way to tire herself, so she still flies if only to make sure than when she lands, she's too tired to do anything but sleep.

And every night, every single night since she lost her love and her life, the last thought she has is "I hope I never wake up."

END

A/N: Hi guys. So yeah. This is Ending II: The alternate ending. This was actually written before chapter 6, I think. One night I was listening to Ed Sheeran's Afire Love (I am absolutely in love with this guy, in case it's not clear) when suddenly this idea came to me. At first I didn't want to put it up, deeming it too sad (I cried while writing this, merlin) but I honestly think this is some of my best writing in this collection and it completely fit, so there you have it.

In this ending, Chapter 12 doesn't happen at all- Maleficent and Diaval never had a child. It was too difficult for me to edit this piece to factor in the child so I left it as it is.

What I'm trying to convey here isn't actually sorrow but emptiness, like every single day is just so dull and full of nothing and not worth living without Diaval. Then she gets bouts of sadness, but mostly the pervading atmosphere is hollowness.

Special shoutout to my most consistent reviewer: DancingKitKat. Thank you so much for leaving a review every freakin' chapter. You've been too kind to me, and I appreciate the incessant support. :)

In case you weren't aware that I have two other Maleval fics up on this site, What Happy Looks Like and Imperative, visit my profile, read them and leave feedback! #shamelessplug haha :))

For the last time, tell me what you think! Even if you just want to say "I hate you for killing Diaval", I won't mind. ;)

I love this fandom so so much.

~With the deepest gratitude, Jireh