Radioactive

By: Tracy Cook

Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creators of The 100.

Couple: Finn/Clarke, Raven/Bellamy

Rating: M

Chapter Eight

Time To Let Go

'Thanks For The Time That We Had,

It's Time To Let Me Go.'

Two Days Later...

The energy in the car was somber. It felt like they had just attended a funeral. And in a way they had. All of the teenagers sitting in the car had lost the people closest to them. They had lost their families. They had watched them transform into bloodthirsty monsters right before their own eyes and they were all broken down. None of them felt like fighting any longer. None of them had any hope left.

They were just driving with no destination.

Heading nowhere fast.

Finn rested his chin against his hand and he glanced over at Clarke. The two of them were sitting in the backseat of his car. Monty was driving and Jasper was curled up in a ball sleeping. He had been sleeping for days now. It was evident that he was depressed. They all were depressed.

His brown eyes filled with anguish as he watched the blonde staring out the window at the scenery. She had no smile on her lips. She had no hope in her blue eyes. She had nothing left to look forward to. Two days ago he had watched one of the strongest girls he ever met fall apart at the seams and it didn't look like she was going to be pulling herself back together anytime soon. He didn't blame her. What had happened at the hospital would haunt them both for as long as they lived.

Clarke tapped her index finger against the small window in the back and she watched the hills roll by. Every minute they were getting further south, but the infected still littered the streets. There was no hope. There was no escape.

This was to be there life.

Her mind had been replaying what happened with her mom at the hospital for the last two days. She couldn't stop thinking about it. She didn't know if she made the right decision. What if there was a cure? What if she could have been saved? How could she really be gone?

'Clarke took a step toward her mother. She recognized her lab coat and her hair. She was praying that she would turn around and she would be fine. That she wouldn't be infected. But, her hope was running thin.

"Mom." She called out, taking a step toward her. "Mom, are you okay?"

Relief washed over her when she heard her mother's voice. "Clarke..." She stated in a strained whisper. Her voice was raspy and she was breathing heavily. Her entire body was shaking. "Clarke... I tried... I tried so hard to make it to you..."

Finn watched with sad eyes as she ran to her mother's side. He could tell that something wasn't right. They could both tell. The older woman was practically convulsing and her voice was so weak. She sounded sick. Clarke placed a gentle hand on her mother's arm. "Mom... Are you okay? Did one of them." Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. "Did one of them bite you?"

"I'm so sorry, Clarke." Abby insisted. "I'm so, so, sorry. I was trying to find the cure. I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"Mom, you're scaring me."

"I just wanted to make sure you were safe." She sobbed. With that statement, her mother turned to face her and that was when both Clarke and Finn noticed the bite to her bicep. One of the infected had torn through her lab coat and sunk it's teeth into her arm. She was infected and the virus was rapidly taking hold. She could see it in her eyes. There was something wrong with them. They were an off color. "I'm so sorry." Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Clarke felt a mix of emotions in that moment. She felt angry at the creatures that took her mom away. She felt the overwhelming loss, knowing that her mother was going to leave the world soon. She felt broken.

"Mom. You don't have to say sorry." She whimpered. Tears staining her cheeks as she pulled her mother into a tight hug. She just wanted to hold her one last time. She just wanted to say goodbye.

"I was so close. I was so close. I just..." Abby's voice died in her throat. She could feel the virus rushing through her veins and she knew she didn't have much time. She didn't want to become one of the infected. She didn't want to become one of the monsters walking around and killing innocent people. Her job in life was to save people and at this point the only way she could save people was to die. "Clarke. Look at me."

She pulled back and placed her shaking hands on her daughter's cheeks, wiping the tears away with her thumbs and forcing a smile to her lips. "I love you so much. I love you so so much, and you need to take that with you. You need to survive for me."

"But, mom. There has to be a way. You said you were close."

"Not close enough." She said. "The virus has already infected me. I can-I can feel it taking over." Her biggest fear was that she would turn into one of the infected and she would hurt her own daughter. She knew that she wasn't going to survive, but Clarke had to live. She had to survive. "Clarke, I need to ask you a favor."

"Of course. Whatever you need." Clarke said with a shaky smile.

"I don't want to become one of those things." She said, wiping the fresh tears from her daughter's cheeks as they fell. "I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to hurt you."

"Mom, what are you asking me to do?" She cried.

Abby leant forward and she pressed her lips to Clarke's forehead. She could feel herself growing weak. Any second now she would be consumed by the virus and she would turn into one of the walking dead. She pulled back and swiped the stray blonde hairs out of blue eyes. "You know what I need you to do..." Her eyes wandered down to the pistol in the young woman's hand.

"I can't." Her voice cracked and her tears fell harder. Her entire body was shaking. She couldn't kill her own mother. She couldn't take her life away. "What if there's a cure?"

"It's too late for me, Clarke. Please do this for me?"

"No." She shook her head. "No, mom, no. I can't do it. I can't. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I love you so much." Abby insisted. "But, if you love me then please don't make me turn into one of those things. Please don't let me-" She paused and started to cough up blood. She could feel her insides corroding. She was slowly dying from the inside out. "Clarke please, hurry up." She cried desperately.

"I can't." She said.

"Please."

Abby's eyes were turning white and her skin was a sickly pale blue. Just like the others. She no longer had control over her voice. She couldn't speak. She was dying. She reached out to her daughter and she pleaded with her eyes for her to finish her off before she turned into one of the creatures. She grabbed onto the pistol and she lifted it up, forcing Clarke to aim it at her head.

She couldn't pull the trigger though. She couldn't kill her mother.

Finn was watching closely. He was prepared to protect Clarke if he had to. The scene was devastating. No one should have to take their mother's life. He himself couldn't do it when he was in the same position. And he didn't know what he would have done if his mom asked him to do the same.

"I can't." She whispered. "I can't."

Suddenly, her mother snapped her head to the side and her spine cracked loudly causing Clarke to jump. Within seconds, Abby was lunging toward her and attempting to sink her teeth into her throat.

Clarke had no choice.

She pulled the trigger.'

Finn knew that her decision was weighing heavily on her shoulders. She had been thinking about it nonstop since she did it. She felt guilty. She felt like she gave up on her mother. She felt like she gave up on a cure. He didn't blame her. He would have been feeling the exact same way.

He had tried to comfort Clarke after it happened. He had tried to hold her, but she had pushed him away. She had pushed him out and closed down.

She just needed space.

Time would heal all wounds after all. That was what they had always been taught.

'I don't think time will be healing these wounds...' Finn glanced around the car. Monty was bobbing his head to the music, but there was a light missing from his eyes. He didn't seem nearly as happy as he used to. He had lost his father. Jasper had lost his reason to live. He was curled up in a ball in the front seat escaping from his reality. Clarke was replaying what happened with her mother over and over. And the truth was, Finn hadn't even had the time to comprehend that his mother was gone.

He didn't think he would ever comprehend it.

Finn watched a tear roll down Clarke's pale cheek and he couldn't handle it any longer. He needed to help comfort her. He knew that he could never take away the pain she felt. He could never fill that hole in her heart, but he could show her that he was there with her. He could show her that she wasn't alone. He only hoped that this time, she wouldn't push him away.

'She needs someone right now. She needs me.'

He extended his arm and he wrapped it around Clarke's shoulders, fully prepared for her to push him away again. Only this time, she didn't. She allowed him to pull her frail body closer to his, sinking into the warmth and safety of his chest. The instant that her face met his chest she broke down. Her entire body started to shake and her tears fell hard, staining his shirt. This was the first time that Finn allowed himself to break down as well. Tears started to fall from his brown eyes as he tangled his fingers in her blonde curls and he pulled her body tightly against his own.

He knew that he couldn't solve all of her problems, but he hoped he was helping.

Finn's fingers danced soothingly along Clarke's spine through her shirt. She was still wheezing loudly against his chest, but the tears were starting to fall less frequently. She was starting to relax into his body. She was starting to allow the exhaustion of the last few days to take over. Her muscles were sore and her head was throbbing violently. She just wanted to rest.

He didn't say anything.

He didn't have to say anything.

Just being there with her, stroking his fingers delicately through her hair and along her back was enough for her. It told Clarke that she wasn't alone. That she wasn't the only one who had lost someone and that she needed to survive. Her mother wanted her to survive. Finn wanted her to survive. She had to survive for them.

'With All The Scars I Carry With Me,

I Don't Feel Alive.'

'Welcome To Kansas.'

Her brown eyes landed on the sign as they drove down the highway, and it was a bittersweet moment. They had finally made it. They had escaped the zombies on the bridge, they had moved the remaining cars out of the way, and they had made it through. They were in Kansas. The bitterness came from knowing that this was her stop and that Bellamy and her would be parting ways.

Raven liked to believe that she didn't need anyone. But, the last two days she had grown sort of attached to the young man sitting beside her. She trusted him. He had saved her life, whether she liked it or not, and he had made her smile for the first time in a long time. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to him, but she wasn't willing to admit that she needed him.

'I don't NEED him. I just like having him around. It's nice not being alone for a change.'

All of those feelings of abandonment were returning and that only made her all the more certain that they had to part ways. If she got too attached to Bellamy then she would be devastated when she lost him.

Bellamy had his eyes on the road, but his mind was on Raven. Something had changed that night at the bridge. She had started to let him in. She had started to trust him. She wouldn't admit it, but he could see it in everything she did. Just the fact that she was allowing him to drive her car without a fight was proof that she was starting to trust him.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He wanted Raven by his side all the way to Texas. He wanted her by his side when he found Octavia.

But, he would never force her to stay with him.

Ultimately, Bellamy was leaving the decision up to her.

His chest tightened painfully and his smile fell as he asked, "Where do you want me to let you off?" 'Please say that you don't want me to let you off. Please say that you want to come with me.' He hoped, but he knew that she was too stubborn to do that. She was sticking with her plan.

"Up here is fine." Raven pointed to a vacant gas station. There were cars parked at the pumps and she could easily hot-wire one. Bellamy flashed her a handsome smile and he pulled into the parking lot of the gas station.

Silence filled the car.

Neither of them knew what to say in that moment. They were too stubborn to say that they would miss each other. They were too stubborn to say that they wanted to stay together, even though both of them did.

"Thanks for everything." Raven stated simply, grabbing her shotgun and pistols and climbing out of the car. The thank you wasn't simple for her though. It wasn't something she said often. She was thanking him for saving her life. "You can keep the car." That was her parting gift for all he had done for her. She knew how much he loved it.

She closed the door behind her and started to walk toward the gas station.

Bellamy watched her closely, running his tongue along his lips. He couldn't believe that they were really going to part ways just like that. After everything they had been through they deserved a better goodbye. 'Plus, this is her car. I don't wanna take it from her. I can find another car.'

He pulled the door open and he stepped out of the car, approaching the young woman with a toothy grin. "Raven!" He called out to her.

Raven turned to look over her shoulder at him. For a second she hoped that he was calling out to her in order to ask her to stay with him. She hated how much she wanted him to do that. She hated how much she wanted to be wanted in that moment. It wasn't like her. "Yeah?"

"You should keep the car! It's yours."

'Oh, of course it's about the car.' "Nah, it's all good! I can find another one." She insisted. "I know how much you like it." Her lips curled up into a playful smile. "Besides, you gotta get to that sister of yours as fast as possible."

"You sure?" Bellamy asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I'm sure."

"Okay. I hope we see each other again, Raven!" He said. "Stay safe!"

"Yeah, you too."

With that, Raven watched Bellamy climb back into the yellow Lamborghini and rev the engine loudly before speeding out of the parking lot and down the street. As she watched him disappear she felt like her heart was breaking. She knew that she shouldn't feel that way. She knew that she shouldn't have expected him to ask her to come with him, but she had wanted him to. For some reason.

'God damn it! What has gotten into me lately!? I don't need him. I don't need anyone.'

Still, she felt lost. She felt alone. She had no family to find. She had nothing. It was just her against the world like it always had been.

Raven's ears twitched and she furrowed her brow as she heard the sound of an engine in the distance. There was someone driving her way. She squinted her brown eyes in an attempt to see the car and that was when she noticed it was the same yellow Lamborghini. He was driving back to her. Her heart started to race in her chest and her smile stretched from one ear to the other. She didn't understand why she was so excited to see him coming back for her. She didn't know why it meant so much to her, but it did.

The car screeched to a halt in front of her. He was leaning his elbow against the window and he was sticking his head out, smiling at her. The sun was dancing along the freckles on his cheeks and there was a glint of mischief in his brown eyes. "You didn't think I'd actually leave you in Kansas, did ya?"

She did.

Bellamy laughed. "Come on, get in the damn car."

'Some Days, You'll Feel Alive,

Other Days, You'll Feel Like You've Died.'

Author's Note :

I want to thank all of you that are reading this fic and leaving reviews and encouraging me to keep on writing! :)) Y'all mean the world to me! Seriously! Hopefully y'all like this next chapter as well! How do you feel about the Flarke moment in the car? Poor Clarke :(( Poor Abby! Abby is actually one of my favorite characters on the show so that scene was very hard for me to write! Did y'all enjoy the Rellamy scene? Happy to see her going with to find Octavia? Should be introducing both Octavia and Lincoln soon! :))

Thank you all so very much for reading! Y'all are wonderful! I love you guys!

-Tracy Cook-