Dearest Will,

I thought long and hard about how to write this letter. For many hours, I pondered on how to put into words everything that needs to be said. I reached the conclusion that it is not possible; there is no way to convey all of it in a single piece of paper. I also came to realize that it does not matter, for everything I have to say, you know already. Words were always your specialty anyway, not mine.

I think of you now, at war in Idris, and can only feel uselessness and a boundless frustration that I cannot be there fighting by your side. We are brothers in arms, and yet here I am, sitting comfortably in my room in London while you could be bleeding out this very instant. The thought terrifies me. We swore an oath to protect each other come hell or high water, and it is now, when it matters the most, that I cannot have your back. It feels like betrayal. I only hope you can forgive me; you know that if it weren't for this infernal disease coursing through my veins I would be right there at your side like I have always been.

We both know what is at stake here, there is no sugar-coating it. Henry has fully informed me of your next mission, and of the likelihood of your death. Perhaps that is why I am writing to you now, of all times. I cannot bear the thought of you marching to your death without a few parting words from me. Maybe you will come out of this one unscathed, as you always do, eternally pressing your luck and getting away with it. But I cannot -I will not- take that risk. I cannot think of you parting without a final goodbye. If you come back alive, I suppose we can all just laugh at this letter over tea in the drawing room.

What is there to say that you don't already know? Although there are many things that have been left unsaid, I feel like there is a silent understanding between us. It has been many years since that first morning when Charlotte introduced us. Remember when you tried to threaten me? I still laugh at the memory sometimes. There are other memories too, memories I will cherish forever despite the dire situation we have got in our hands with what is going on in Idris. Remember that time in Hyde Park and the infamous duck incident? Remember Bridget's songs? Remember the parties at de Quincey's? I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the time we spent together, for how close we grew over the years. I thought I would hate London when I first got here, but you made me feel welcome, and now it is home. I found a family to call my own again, and you, Will, are the most important part of it, my brother in all but blood. You saved my life, and for that I can only thank you.

How I hate this hellish war. How many more must be killed before someone puts a stop to it? How much more blood must be spilled? I know that this is what we have been training for our entire lives, what we have been preparing for since day one. And of course, it is an honor to perform our duty, as it always is. But not like this, never like this. This war has crossed the line into pure insanity. I fail to see how we will get up again after this fall. We will have to dig ourselves out of the ashes just to stand amongst the rubble. There are no words to express how much I hate to see our people, so proud, so strong, reduced to this.

If you die, I will know. Of course I will, you know how it is. My only comfort is knowing that I will probably be joining you soon, seeing how fast this illness is weakening me by the day. We will be reunited, in this world or the next, for we are one person in two bodies. And when we are, I can be sure you will have many great stories to tell; I certainly cannot wait to hear them.

Take care of yourself Will, as much as it is possible in the midst of battle. Stay safe, for although I have accepted your death as we must accept all of our people's, I still wish to see you come home in one piece. And most importantly, keep in mind that although I cannot physically be at your side, I am always with you. 'Whither thou goest, I will go,' remember?

Atque in perpetuum, frater, ave atque vale,

Jem