Noses and ears red from the cold, Harry and I start to head back toward the castle. As we walk, I attempt to wrap my brain around the idea that Harry is also gay. I get hung up on the word "also," because saying that Harry is also gay means that I've officially admitted to myself that I am. An anxious pit develops in my stomach. Why can't I just be normal?

I glance over at Harry, who offers me a gentle smile. And what's with this whole Harry Potter is a poof thing, anyway? I've never heard even a rumor as to that possibility. I'm sure if the Slytherins were to know that piece of information…

"Harry," I say before I can stop myself. "W-who else knows that you're…" I can't finish. I simply cannot say the word aloud.

"Gay?" Says Harry, and he seems amused at my hesitation. He shrugs. "All of Gryffindor at this point, a lot of the Ravenclaws… It's not really a secret." I frown.

"Then why have I never heard anything?" For some reason, the concept really bothers me. Harry looks at me with an expression that can only be described at pitying.

"Here's how you've got to look at it, Draco," He says at we trudge through the castles massive front entryway. "Your sexuality is just a part of who you are. You've never heard about me being gay because I never made a formal announcement. You don't see Ron walking around and announcing to people that he's straight. I didn't make a big deal of it because it really isn't one. I'm not ashamed of it; I'll tell anyone asks, and I've told every girl who has come on to me, so I'm not hiding anything." I stare down at my feet. "There's no need for rumors or discussion because it's just who I am and everyone that I've told so far has understood that." And then, as afterthought. "I suppose with the Slytherin house that may be different."

"It's still shameful, there." I mutter to my shoes. Harry frowns.

"Fuck 'em, Draco. They're stuck in antiquity; that has nothing to do with you." He sighs. "You know, sometimes I feel like you're not a Slytherin at all." I look up at him, making eye contact, for some reason feeling unreasonably grateful for this statement.

"Thank you." I almost whisper. I fold my arms across my chest. "I'm not supposed to be." I say for the first time. "Slytherin is all about legacy. The hat wanted me in Ravenclaw originally, but because I'm a Malfoy I ended up here. I suspect my father may have been involved. Besides," I add, "At that point I was such an insufferable little twat anyway that I probably qualified right off for the dungeons."

I suppose it's a good thing that the hat placed me in Slytherin. Ravenclaws are supposed to smart, and I can't even figure out a vomiting charm. I wrap my arms even tighter around myself, feeling my contentment begin to ebb away. The Ravenclaw head of house is professor Flitwick, and you're absolutely his worst pupil. You'd have been kicked out of Ravenclaw by now. Face it, Draco. You're just a stupid piece of shit that deserves worse than what you've got. I swallow a lump in my throat and force myself to stop thinking.

For a moment, it works. And then I remember that we're here because I cried in class and cut myself to shreds with bits of broken mirror.

"Are you alright?" Harry's voice startles me out of my pathetic reverie, and when I look up at his face, his features are blurred. Flushing, I wipe the tears from eyes and force a smile on my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lie. "Just…"

"Torturing yourself?" Harry finishes for me. I give a half-hearted, shaky laugh.

"Yeah." I say. "Just torturing myself." Harry stares at me for a moment, seeming to be in thought.

"You know," says Harry, "I think I know just the thing to cheer you up. Come on." He grabs my arm and begins to pull me toward the staircase. As his fingers wrap around my cuts, I flinch, and he loosens his grasp. His hand slides loosely down my arm, my wrist, my hand. I feel a jolt inside me as for a brief moment, my hand is in Harry's, before his continues sliding downward, releasing me completely from his grasp. The disappointment that I feel when this happens is entirely unacceptable, and as I try to reason with myself, I can't quite make it go away.

We walk up flight after flight after flight of stairs, and I begin to lose to my breath. I stop for a moment to steady myself, leaning up against the stairway wall, and Harry stops, staring at me in concern.

"Are you okay, Draco?" I nod, catching my breath.

"I'm just a little dizzy, that's all." I'm embarrassed that Harry Potter, Quidditch player extraordinaire is witness to my pathetic ass getting winded over a couple flights of stairs.

"It's because you haven't eaten, Draco," says Harry, sounding almost exasperated. "Your body can't produce enough energy for you to function."

"I've eaten!" I exclaim in protest. "I ate breakfast this morning!" Harry shoots me a look.

"And then you shoved your fingers down your throat, Draco." I look away from him, avoiding eye contact. "You need to be eating more, and you need to keep it down." I don't respond to this, but instead say.

"I'm fine now, let's go." Harry keeps his gaze on me for a moment, with a very concerned, troubled expression on his face. A surge of guilt passes through my body and I start up the stairs ahead of him. He follows me, silently, his mood declined. As I begin to mercilessly tear myself to shreds for making him unhappy, Harry leads me down a countless number of corridors, eventually stopping outside a portrait of a very fat woman in pink.

"This is the entrance to the Gryffindor commons," Harry tells me, and I nearly turn around and run away. "I need to get something. You can come in with me if you'd like." Almost instinctively, I take a step backwards. "Otherwise, you can stay out here and wait for me." For some reason, the idea of standing in the hallway outside the Gryffindor common room, alone, terrifies me. But the idea of venturing into the Gryffindor house terrifies me too…

"W-what will the Gryffindors say?" I manage to ask. Harry shrugs.

"People bring friends in here all the time. It'll just be for a moment." Ignoring the gut feeling in my stomach that tells me this is a very, very bad idea, I step closer to Harry. If I'm really honest with myself, it's probably too close.

"O-okay." I tell him, hesitantly. He mutters a password the portrait and it swings open. I follow him through the hole, and as we emerge on the other side, I stick so close to Harry that I'm nearly standing on his heels.

My first impression of the Gryffindor common room is that it's warm. There's a fire blazing in the fireplace, and the soft, red armchairs are reminiscent of our study in the room of requirement. There are a few Gryffindors that I don't recognize lounging in front of the fire. One of them – a girl of about 15 – spots me standing with Harry and eyes me suspiciously. I fight of the childish instinct to hide behind him.

"Come on," Harry says to me, ignoring my discomfort. He heads toward a spiral staircase and I sigh. More stairs. I follow Harry up the stairway closely, emerging finally at the entrance to what must be Harry's dorm room. He opens it and I brace myself for what I might find inside.

The room is just as warm as the common room below, with several nice four poster beds situated in a circle. The room is miraculously empty. I hover in the doorway as Harry digs through his trunk and pulls out a silvery, fluid looking object. Before I can inquire about what it is, Harry puts his finger over his lips and says in a hushed tone:

"It's a surprise. You'll see." I don't argue and follow Harry back down the spiral staircase. I'm about 4 steps away from freedom. I begin to get my breath back. Almost free.

UGH!

Suddenly, I run headlong into someone in the staircase.

"Sorry!" I yell out as I lose my footing. I slide down the remaining stairs on my arse and tumble into the common room. Feeling myself turning red, I chance a look at who I've run into.

"What the bloody hell is he doing here?!" I gaze up into the face of a very irate Weasley.

"I brought him in here, Ron." I hear Harry arguing. I scramble to my feet and brush myself off. I notice that my sleeve has been pulled up and I yank it back down, glancing around the room in a panic. Everyone is staring over here, and I can't be sure if anyone saw… "Just leave him alone." I hear Harry finish. I can barely make sense of what's going on around me. The faces blur together; it doesn't sound like anyone is speaking a language that I can understand.

Feeling a lump build up in my throat and tears beginning to sting behind my eyes, I take a deep breath.

"Weasley," I say in the steadiest voice that I can manage. "I didn't mean to run into you. I'm sorry. I'll go now." I rush toward the portrait hole and scramble outside before anyone else can say anything to me, and a moment later Harry appears in the hallway.

"Are you alright, Draco? I'm sorry that happened." I nod, but I don't say anything. I'm too afraid that my voice will give away how close I am to tears. I can never show my face around the Gryffindors again. "Come on, let's head down the dungeons."

I'm too upset about what's just happened to even be curious about what Harry has planned. How am I supposed to go to classes now? How am I supposed to go to dinner? By breakfast tomorrow, the whole entire school is going to hear about how I ran into Weasley and apologized.

Contingency plans begin to rush through my head like broomsticks. If I can just get away from Harry, I could leap from the astronomy tower before anyone could stop me… Or I can just grab one of my razorblades and slit my wrists… No, that'd take too long. What if I snuck into Snapes room and swallowed a poison? I really wanted to get a good suicide note written first but…

"Draco? Draco?!" I'm startled out of my thoughts and I pick my eyes up off the floor to look at Harry, who's staring at me concernedly. "What's wrong?" I shake my head, violently.

"N-nothing's wrong." I stammer, trying and failing at not sounding suspicious. I try not to look too guilty.

"Look, Draco, I know you're upset about what happened upstairs, but I talked to Ron and I promise that no one's going to know, okay? It's alright." I don't answer him, mainly because I think he's lying to me. "Now, here's the surprise." Says Harry, pulling out the fluid object that I saw before. "This is an invisibility cloak. I'm pretty sure this is the entrance to the Slytherin dorms, and that's where you come in."

"You're going to stay the night with me?" I blurt out without thinking. Harry looks at me with apparent confusion and feel my embarrassment well up to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if I sank directly through the dungeon floor.

"Well, no…" Says Harry, shifting awkwardly. "I was going to suggest that you get me in to the Slytherin dorms and we could mess with the people that are mean to you…"

"Oh, right." I say, trying very hard to brush off my overwhelming humiliation. "Yeah. That'll be fun!" Harry seems distracted.

"Did… did you want me to stay with you…?" He presses. "You said some stuff by the lake… If you're thinking about… you know…"

I have absolutely no idea how to respond to that statement truthfully, so I just say

"N-no. It's okay. I don't know why I said that. J-just forget it."

"Are you sure…?"

"I'm fine, Harry, really." I say it way too quickly, and I know that he doesn't believe a word of it.

"Right…" He says, hesitantly. "If you don't want to do this…" I can't handle this. Harry has handled me so far without even a shred of discomfort. This tension. This awkward silence. I can't take it. I've finally scared him off…

"It sounds like fun, really." I say, forcing a smile on my face when right now all I want to do is cry. Harry stares at me for a moment trying to decide whether he's going to believe me.

"Alright." He finally says. "Just leave it to me." He pulls the cloak on over himself as I whisper the password to the wall.

As I crawl inside, I try to picture my future.