The strange thing about love is that it just happens and you might be able to do incredible things in your life,like flying a helicopter or making mouth watering food,driving,painting going into any profession and being successful there but in love everyone is in a daze,a very enchanting daze,but still we are lost in a maze and there is no way you can ever get out of the maze.
When actually fall in love you have lost your heart for a lifetime and now it beats for someone besides your self.
When you fall in love your happiness is not the most important thing for you anymore,their happiness becomes the reason for your existence you just want them to smile and if they are smiling your simply happy just gazing at them.
I think I was in love with Christian even then,it just happened,it was puppy love,it was so as I was saying that day Christian was a different person all together,he made me breakfast probably taking pity on me since a child of seven years of age shouldn't have men like Sean trying to rape them,the thought alone send shivers down my spine and I thanked god for sending Christian at the right minute to be my knight in shinning armor other wise I was done for.
After eating he told me to come and sit with him on the sofa in a soft voice.
He pulled me closer to himself and asked me in a voice which was not above a whisper that who was that boy?
I knew he was asking about Sean so I just told him his name and whatever I knew about Sean because obviously I wanted to press charges of attempted rape on the fucker.
After that we just sat there,he told me his dreams in a soft heavy with sleep voice in other words the bedroom voice ,I at that time obviously didn't know it was the "just fucked voice".
The thing I liked about Christian was that since I was a little girl,he always treated me equally,others would treat me like a kid because I'm the youngest in my eight cousins and a lot of family friends are also older than me and most are married and when I was a kid that had a horrible effect because everyone would think "she is too young","You won't understand" but when Christian looked into my eyes with a burning passion and every time his eyes met mine something stirred at the pit of my stomach.
Christian was a boy I used to admire a lot when I was younger and I had a little crush on him too,I always wanted him to look at me in the way I looked at him.I remember getting all decked up before going to his house,taking care to do my hair properly when he would be around,I never used to wash the dishes but when he was at my place and in the kitchen with me,I washed the dishes more than a dozen times just to impress him and to show him that yes,I can take responsibility.
I remember how on valentines day,his parents and mine went out for a ball,the ball ended at four in the morning and since I was an only child my mum obviously did not want to leave me at home all alone so she left me at Christian's place and we watched cartoons together and when I was too tired to watched them anymore,he picked me and carried me to his bed and laid me down softly and then slept besides me.
All of these memories were making me smile like an idiot and suddenly being lost wasn't so bad if you could have a walk down memory lane,Another time I remember how we used to play dark room and how he sat on me thinking I was a cushion but I could not mutter a sound because if I did then I would loose,we used play hide and seek all the time and in a way its ironic but we are playing that even now.I know I love him but I do not have the courage to tell him because I am afraid of rejection,I am scared that he is beautiful and so fucking rich and he has everything and then there is me,Kate says I am a total babe but then she is my friend and friends say that all the time.
Once I was very close to telling him that I like him however he made it abundantly clear that he was play boy and didn't want a relationship that lasted longer than two weeks and since that day I knew he would never be the boy for me because I think of relationships as a permanent thing not a time pass however he thinks of it as a bus if you do not get down from one how will you reach your destination and you have to change a lot of buses to get to your destination usually.
He has slept with more girls then I can keep track of and then why not? He is gorgeous.
But every time he has a girl in his arms,I feel a sinking feeling in my heart,the worst was when he meet up for a family gathering when I used to be sixteen,I knew he would be coming to the dinner too,and I dressed extremely well and was looking forward to talking to him with every fiber of my being however a bucket of cold water was practically thrown over my face,when Christian came with a beautiful blonde,her name was Ashley,she used to go to Harvard with him,so yeah you can guess she was genius too,she was older than me and her body was better as well,her breasts were more firm and big where as mine were just a B then.I could see Christian stealing glances at her cleavage it was like someone was throwing knifes at me.
Christian's parents also came to the dinner with him,they hugged me warmly and told me I looked pretty,I thanked them sincerely and then my eyes met Christian's.
For a second everything stood still not for him but for me it did.A smirk came upon his lips and turned his face into simply breath taking and he moved his slender fingers through his copper colored unruly hair in a frustrated manner and introduced Ashley to me,Ashley gave me a small smile and then started to again speak to Christian in an undertone,from the looks of it the couple was pissed at each other,and Oh dear I had never been happier.
Christian gave me a lazy grin while speaking to Ashley,and his gaze kept on lingering at my body,suddenly I had felt too hot,it was like I was standing their naked,like he could see right through me so I excused my self and went to the washroom to freshen up because it was all too intense in there,I needed a moment to think.
When I got out of the washroom,I heard a noise from upstairs being the idiot that I was I went upstairs to investigate.
Never was I prepared for the sight before my eyes,the noise I had heard was of someone's shoe falling off and then I went ahead from room to room to see whose shoe it was,so that maybe I could give it to them,finally when I got to my room I thought I could hear someone whining so I went closer and suddenly it was becoming louder and to my horror it was not whining that I was hearing but full blown moaning,Who the fuck was fucking in my washroom? The thought filled me with venom.
I knocked on my washroom door and suddenly the moaning finished but I could still hear the heavy breaths of the couple inside and I told them to show their face at once other wise I would break down the door,I think I must have said that convincingly because slowly the door opened and I saw that it was Christian who was inside and who was now trying to button his shirt frantically and beside him was Ashley whose hair just screamed "I have been fucked" and her eyes were too bright and her cheeks were too pink.
I stood their frozen at first I did not even know what to say then I half shouted "did you just have sex in my washroom?".
"I am sorry Ana but we did,we did not want to use your bed because I knew you would not like that and you bathroom smells amazing,it smells of strawberries just like you and I well umm..love the scent and I thought it will be romantic for me and Ashley to um..have sex there"
"You had sex in my washroom with someone?"I asked in a soft voice,my lips were already trembling.
"Ana I do not know what the big deal is about,okay I promise you that when you want to have sex with your boyfriend you can have it in my car"Christian said with a smirk,why was he was so clueless? why couldn't he see that I was hurt,but boys are like that I guess.
But I guess Ashley saw enough.
"Christian Ana fancies you and can not stand the sight of me so I am going to leave" she said.
"That is ridiculous,Ana does not like me"
"Ana I dare you to kiss Christian on the lips rightnow for fifteen minutes only,Christian you will know by the end of the kiss if she feels anything or does not"
"...But you don't have to do it Ana if your too scared of your true feelings being revealed"she said to me with a snicker and the thing is I never back down from a challenge.
So I just pulled Christian's shirt and bought him closer to me and then planted my lips on his.
His lips were everything I had been dreaming of since the day I first laid eyes on him,his lips were soft but I knew they could be unbelievably rough just as quick,his mouth tasted of cigar and chocolates and our tongues were battling for dominance and I felt my knees going weak and eventually I had to put my arms around his neck for started to blow soft kisses on my nose and on my forehead leaving a hot trail of desire where ever he touched me.
After what seemed like an eternity Christian pulled away by that time Ashley was gone and Christian looked into my eyes softly a small smile was playing on his lips so you do like me? why didn't you say anything?
He asked me but I just gave a small shy grin and gave him another kiss this time on his cheek.
He looked into my eyes sincerely and said "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people so sweet Ana find someone better for your self,your too young".
But what he didn't understand was that even if he destroyed me at least I would have known what true passion felt like even if it was to last for a few days,atleast I would know how his arms would feel around me and that is all I wanted.I would have died a thousand deaths just to feel his lips on mine again.
"Ana if your mine even for a night,your body will never want any other man and I can not do this to you,you deserve happiness"He muttered with venom.