Chp 20: Moving On

My drinking has stopped. Ever since that night, I haven't drank hard alcohol. I still have a glass of wine here and there. To think about it, that was almost 4 months ago. I remember being so terrified in the back seat of the squad car. I'm so thankful that Stef took me home.

Brandon informed me that Stef had moved back in with Mike. I haven't seen or heard from Stef since that night. I still think about her. I miss her but I don't cry about it anymore. I ended up telling my parents what happened. My mom wasn't pleased but my dad thought it was funny. He was glad I didn't go to jail. I smile at the memory.

I sit here thinking about everything that has happened since I met Stef. After awhile, the school bell rings and I grab my things. Once I get my check and pay my bills, I decide to go to the local coffee shop. I've recently gotten a new mystery book and I have been dying to read it. I pull up to the shop and get myself some hot chocolate. After that, I find a nice seat and I dig into my book.

I'm mid way into it, when I just happen to notice someone I haven't seen in a long time. Her name was Lexi. She was italian. She had long, jet black, hair and piercing blue eyes. Lexi was an ADA with homicide, Assistant District Attorney. I met Lexi through Gretchen. We had a party one night and Lexi was there. I never looked at her in a sexual way but I always thought she was sexy and gorgeous. Lexi started to walk toward me and before I can pretend to start reading she is standing in front of me.

"Lena! How are you?!"

"I'm good. How about yourself?" I motion for her to sit.

"I've been good. Still homicide AD. You still with Gretchen?"

"Oh no! We broke up. She cheated on me with my best friend."

"Oh wow. So where do you work?"

"I'm the Assistant Vice Principle at Anchor Beach."

"Oh okay."

"Yeah"

"Listen Lena...umm are you seeing anyone?"

"No why?"

"Because I would like to take you out for dinner. If that's okay with you?" She flashes a bright smile showing her perfect white teeth.

"Sure"

"Okay. How about I pick you up tomorrow night at 8?"

"Alright. See you then"

"I look forward to it."

"Okay"

That was a nice run in. I didn't expect her to ask me out but hey I believe it's time to move on. And besides it may just be one of those dinners where you catch up with someone. I do know that I am starting to get bored. My mom is always bugging me to get back out and start dating anyway. It's not like Stef is going to come back.

Once I finish my book, I go home, and look in my closet. I don't have anything that looks good. All my clothes are the clothes I wear to work. I have one sexy dress but I wore it on my date with Stef and let's be honest, that wouldn't be good to wear. It would be like putting bad karma on and I don't want to do that.

I look at the clock and decide to head out one more time. I can go pick out an outfit and get myself some dinner. I may be able to find a new book. In the last 4 months I have read more books than I have in my whole life. Once I get a sexy, red, short dress that fits perfectly to my body, I am finished with my clothes shopping. I go to the book store.

I finally get home. I feel pretty good. I got out today. Bought a few things for myself. I even got my favorite food, pizza! Pizza has never treated me wrong. The hot gooey, cheesy, pepperoni pizza...so good. I'm such a fat pig! That is sad. The only pleasure I get is from pizza and a book. Sad Lena. I eat and fall asleep with my book.

I sleep in. Not sure what i'm going to do today. Probably just going to read. I get into the shower and once i'm finished, I head outside to my balcony with my book. The sun is bright today. But the sun feels good on my skin. I don't usually sit out here. The breeze is nice and cool and I can hear my neighbors kids playing in the pool down below me. I start to read. I get good into my book, when my phone starts to ring, so I answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey sweetie. How are you?"

"I'm good mom, and yourself?"

"I'm good. In Florida for a conference. What are your plans this weekend? Please don't tell me reading either."

"As a matter of face, I have a date tonight, thank you." I roll my eyes.

"Oh, with whom?"

"An old friend"

"What's her name?"

"Lexi"

"Oh okay. Where did you meet this Lexi at? I've never met her."

"I met her through Gretchen."

"Okay. She's not like Gretchen though, is she?"

"Mom, please stop asking me 50 different questions."

"Very well then, I will call tomorrow."

"Okay mom."

I hang up and shake my head. I swear! My mother acts like she doesn't have a life and I know she does. I spend the rest of the day reading and once it starts getting closer to 8, I get ready. I put my newly bought dress on and put some make-up on. After I finish putting my shoes on, Lexi is at the door knocking. I get my purse and open the door smiling.

"Wow, Lena, you look amazing"

"Thank you, so do you"

"Thanks. Ready?"
"Yeah"

I lock my door and we leave. Her car is nice. You can tell she is making good money. Maybe I should change my profession. The car ride is silent. We both are nervous and don't know what to say. After a little ride she pulls into a place called Cucina Urbana. I've never heard of the place, but then again, I don't go out either. The valet opens our doors and we go inside the restaurant.

Once we order our drinks, they bring us some bread, and I am just fascinated by the restaurant. It is simply amazing. Everything is just so intriguing. I keep looking around and my eyes land dead on Stef's. I look away and look again just to make sure that it isn't her. When I look it is the same blonde that has taken, stolen, and crushed my heart. I can't believe she is here. Is she following me? No because she is with a man. That must be Mike. Our eyes are locked. I don't even notice Lexi talking to me until she grabs my hand.

"Huh?"

"I said are you okay?"

"Oh! Yeah I'm fine." I smile ate her. My mind keeps wondering why Stef is here. Stop it Lena! She can be here. Just ignore her. She left you, not the other way around.

"So-"

"Lexi would you please excuse me, I have to use the restroom."

"Oh of course."

I get up and walk straight past Stef's table. I can hear her tell Mike that she will be right back. She is following me to the bathroom. Once we turn the corner, where everyone else can't see us, I turn around and push her into the bathroom. I quickly go through and make sure no one is in the stalls. One I am finished, I walk back over to Stef, who has her arms crossed over her chest.

"Who is that?"

"None of your business. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here eating. Your turn."

"I'm doing the same."

"Who is that woman?"

"My date."

"No shit. What's her name!?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to know!"

"Lexi. She's works with homicide. She's a ADA with them."

"Ooh! Such a big shot"

"Better than you. You need to leave me alone."

"You don't tell me what to do. So you're going to just forget about us and start dating other people?"

"Stef you left me!"

"And I tried to talk to you about it! You told me to leave you alone! That's what I've been doing!"

"You're here with Mike!"

"NOT BY CHOICE!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

"YES IT IS!"

"HOW!?

"Because I still love you Lena. You're all I think about. It kills me! I hate going home because I know you wont be-"

"Stop! You had your chance and you blew it. So leave me alone Stef. If you love me then let me move on. Please. I can't handle the drama and stress anymore."

"No."
"Yes." She grabs my face and before I can stop her she kisses me. I can't help but kiss her back. I can feel the fire between us is still there. I break it and slap her. "Stop it Stef! That is sexual harassment!"

"Fine. Look at me and tell me you don't love me. if you say you don't then I will go and never bother you again."

"Stef I don't love you."

She nods her head and walks out the bathroom. Guilt feels my heart. I had to do it though. I have to move on. I can't be with her. I make sure I look normal before I walk back to my table. Lexi is sitting there patiently waiting. When I sit down she smiles and I return it.

"Sorry there was a line in the bathroom"

"Okay. I ordered your food if that's okay with you. Trust me the food I ordered you will melt in your mouth."

"Yeah it's fine. I can't wait."

We get our food and eat. Lexi was right the food was very very good. Lexi and I have great conversations about how we have been and our jobs. I keep my eyes completely on Lexi but I can feel Stef's burning a hole in me. I t starts to get uncomfortable. I'm glad when the bill comes.

Lexi takes me back home. I'm glad she doesn't try to come up. I cant handle any more drama for tonight. I kiss her cheek and go inside. Once i'm inside all I can think about was the kiss that Stef gave me. I get my wine and drink the whole cup in a matter of seconds. I want to forget about the bathroom. I had such a nice dinner. I don't know why my mind wont leave that behind me and just forget about it. The kiss meant nothing at all.

The more I drink the more I want Stef. I finally stop and stumble to the kitchen. I pour the rest of the bottle out. I go lay down and my mind is finally relaxed and sleep comes. My mind is relaxed and empty but my dreams and my heart are full.