There's a crowd of people forming around where Mikasa went. I can't see anything though. There's a wall of people blocking my view. I need to get closer. I need to be in the front. I need to know exactly what is going on. Between all the fist pumping, shouting, and jumping though, it looks like this will be no easy task. I push and wiggle my way through the bodies of heat. It feels an awful lot like being stuck in a mosh pit, or a being a ping pong ball. The crowd's elbows and shoulders act as paddles as I get tossed to the left then the right. The cycle never seems to end.

When I'm nearly half way through the crowd, I hear someone shout but I can't make what he said. All I hear is desperation in his voice. It's dripping with it, reminds me of a wild animal. Then everyone goes "Ooooooooo" and a hush falls upon the masses. I swear, you could hear a pin drop on the floor. It's the type of silence that is deafening to the ear. The type of quiet that makes your blood run cold. I push my way to the front of the crowd without any obstacles this time. No more elbows in my ribs or any of that nonsense this time. Everyone seems to be too stunned by whatever happened.

I really need to see what the hell is going on.

"Jesus, both of you," Mikasa has a bloody nose and her knuckles are a ghostly white."you need to stop. Right now." Mikasa takes her time speaking, making sure to be as clear as glass about it. "We are not in high school anymore." She roars. Mikasa then scoops up Eren and flings him over her shoulder. Then she drags Jean by the ear.

"Out of my way!" She barks at us, the crowd. We all quickly disperse, except me. I'm left there standing in shock, hand over mouth. I feel like I'm looking at a puzzle with only the edge pieces connected. There's so much blankness, unknown. There's so much left to the imagination and it's maddening.

I wish I could say that I went right after her. I wish that I could say that I came after her the first time, when she left. I wish I could say I did a lot of things. All I did though is watch with the same feeling of helplessness as before.

"What the hell happened?" I'm surprised to hear own voice. My thought was translated into the spoken word, and it was only meant for my ears. Yet, somehow, they escaped. And due to their debut into the real world, my vibrations were heard by another person. The blonde turns to me with a half smile, although it's clear she's not happy.

"Lover's quarrel. Jean tried to punch Eren but missed. He sucker punched, Ackerman... They'll be fine though. All of them have seen worse." She speaks fast and is to the point.

I stare at her for a moment and blink a few times. She looks so familiar... I can't seem to place her face, but I know those blue eyes. Before, I can even formulate a proper reply; she walks away, fading into the ever diminishing crowd leaving the scene.

"What?" My lips flap. "Who are you?"

The words come too late. I had a synapse retrieval failure. That's the only thing I can remember from my psychology class. My brain seems to have that problem a lot, maybe that's why it bothered to remember the term. My brains forgets or is too slow for practicality. My words too many times have come late and sometimes not even at all. I feel like I'm grasping at threads that aren't even there sometimes.

I look around, slowly falling out of my stupor. I'm truly by myself now. Like, there's literally no one else in the room. How long have I been standing here? Shock is funny that way. It makes you feel like the whole world is slowing down as you perceive it, yet you're left to deal with reality as if you were chasing lighting. Even if by some miracle, you were to catch up to it— you would never be ready for the next pump of voltage it has for you. The world stops for no one.

It hit me then, ironically, like lightning that I can't stop for the world anymore. I can't settle on not reaching further for those threads.

I follow Mikasa and her 'prisoners' to the kitchen. I can hear yelling outside. My body is on autopilot. I don't know why I am doing this. I really don't know why. There's a part of my brain that yells for me to stop. "It's none of my business." Then there's the part of my brain that still is in shock. She has no input to give other than to eat. And the whole while, my idiot heart is running like a fool, shouting through my lungs "Haven't you learned anything?! Move. Stop over thinking it.".

I listen to my heart like all good fools do.

"I don't know! I really don't know why I'd punched her. We all know, I was aiming for your sorry ass." Shouts Jean.

My hand went for the door handle. Everyone's eyes go towards me.

Like Jean I don't know either but I did it. I think it's fair to say we both reacted. There was no thought on either one of our parts. We momentarily let our hearts take the place of our brains. We chose emotions over logic.

I feel like twelve year old me is walking into Church late again. A blush firmly spread across my cheeks, as the whole congregation turns from the pastor to stare at me. There's no talking, only gawking. Jean and Eren must be having a pretty heavy conversation. I know it was like that in Church. Everyone seemed to look for a reason to turn away when the pastor talked about all the ways you can go to Hell or talked about all the stuff you can't do. I always managed to quickly find a seat in the back though and soon enough, all eyes were back on the preacher.

Who knows? Maybe, I've always had bad timing. Maybe, it's a divine sign. Sasha Braus, was born to be a distraction, even it's only for a second. I like to think it's a talent.

"Are you guys okay?" I croak out.

My heart swells when I lay eyes upon, Mikasa, who is clearly hurt. Her lips are puffy and coated in dark, cherry blood from her lower busted lip. Her nose is stuffed with a wad of toilet paper. My hand reaches out for her but I will it back down. Now is not the place for this. I can't stop tear drops from welling up in my eyes though. I'm not strong enough to will that away.

Eren sighs into his hands. Jean shakes his head. Mikasa gives me a reassuring head nod with a kind and broad smile. Even after all this drama, she's trying to comfort me. I can't help but shake my head too.

"Damn..." She whispers, running her hand on her lip.

"Yeah I bet." I let loose a nervous chuckle, fighting back a cringe." Not many people would smile like that with a busted lip... You're brave."

"Or stupid." Mikasa replies coolly.

Jean snorts then a silence falls in the room. Upon further examination, I notice the blood on Jean's knuckles and his black eye. Eren is sporting a lovely cut right below his temple. It's still bleeding, trickling down his cheek. I can't believe these are the same guys who played rock, paper, scissor over who got shotgun. It doesn't seem real. They love each other.

Jean rests his hand on Eren's shoulder.

"Babe, I'm sorry..." My moment of distraction is over. I have never felt more scared and relieved at the same time.

Eren whips his head around to face Jean. "You were making googly eyes at, Marco, the whole damn paaarrty! Finding reasons to seee him, touch him!" Eren cheeks are a fiery red and he's slurring his words. "How can you think that's okay! How can you embarrass me like that in front of everyone." Eren pokes Jean's chest. "How can you make me feel like a fool for loving you?"

"I wasn't, Eren! I didn't!" Jean bellows with his nostrils flared. "Jesus, caan't I talk to an old frii-end?!"

It's about then I also notice how drunk these two are. You can smell them a quarter of a mile away.

"You were never friends!" Eren's face contorts as he spits the words out like they're venom filled watermelon seeds.

"So even if we weren't. Are we not allowed to catch up? I'm not allowed to tooouuch anyone?" Jean shoves Eren lightly.

"No, no, you're allowed to talk to him Jean." Eren shakes his head. You can practically see the steam come from his ears. "Talk to him all you like. Even touch him a little if it fancies you. But what you can't do" Eren jumps up and starts to poke Jean in the chest again, getting in his face. "at least, when you're dating me is kiss him. You can't fluuccking let him kiss you, and then kiss him back like you like it," Eren pauses for a moment to breath." especially in front of everyone." He snarls.

I feel myself backing closer and closer to the corner. Oh man this is so awkward. I look at Mikasa for a brief moment. Her eyes are downcast and she's extending her arm towards Eren. I can only imagine what its like to see your brother's heart be break right before your eyes.

"He didn't know! H-he-he, didn't knooow that, I was with youu?" Jeans brandishes his hands in the air.

"Oh so what? Did that escape your mind that you had a boyfriend as you two were catching up?! Huh, or perhaps you just fell onto him. Yeah and your tongue accidentally slipped right through Marco's mouth!" Eren starts nod his head agreeing with his hypothesis. "Isn't that right?"

"Screw you!" Jean starts to poke Eren back. "That doesn't give you the right to fight him. You nearly knocked him out cold."

"You're right. That was a shitty thing to do, Jeeean. But you know what, it felt good. Almost as good as giving you that shiner."

Jean loses his temper as balls up a fist but Mikasa stops him before he does anything stupid.

"Let's get a little space for now you too."

Jean leaves the room swearing under his breath.

Mikasa goes to her brother and helps him steady his balance. "Lets go home now, okay?" Eren shakes his head sobbing.

"Shhhh, shhh, I know." Mikasa hugs him and he cries into her shoulder. They stay like that for a little while the Mikasa leads him out of the room.

Alone, again. I'm back where I started. I can still hear the faint music playing in the distance. And I know, I don't want to be alone here. I walk out the kitchen and look for Mikasa. She's nowhere to be found, so I walk out the door, hoping that she's still here. I look out, desperately searching for their car. I spot her trying to cross the street with a very drunk out Eren in her arms.

I run up to her.

"Hey, hey!" I gently hit her on the shoulder. "Let me help you. I can drive and you stay with Eren in the back. Make sure he's alright." I rest my hands in my pocket. "I haven't a had a drink all night. I'm good to drive, and I remember where you two live."

Mikasa gives me a dubious look.

"I wa-want to help you two. You've both had a real rough night. Friends help each other..."

"Yeah, you're right." She says in a husky voice. "You can drive. The keys are in my left pocket."

The ride home is quiet. Mostly because, Eren, has finally stopped crying and went to sleep. It's better if he stays this way. Neither Mikasa or myself are really the emotionally 'supportive type'. All we know how to do is listen and rub backs. We're they type that feel what you're feeling. Now, Connie, he always knew what exactly to say. It's like he had the perfect sentence to fix everything, always. He knew how to connect right to the heart with his words.

About fifteen minutes later, we arrive at the Jaeger household.

"Do you need help hauling him in?" I whisper.

"No, no" She shakes her head. "I'll wake him up."

She gently shakes Eren's arm, and he slowly but surely manages to successfully get out of the car. Granted, he made a lot of grunting noises and face planted twice, but at least he didn't puke.

Mikasa helps him into the house as I hold to door open for the pair.

"Give me a minute. I need to put him to bed."

I laugh. She makes him sound like a child, but in all honesty he is basically one, at least in this state. That's one thing we all blame on the alcohol though: our emotions and how we handle them.

I sit on the couch and literally twiddle my thumbs. That gets boring quickly, so I look around the house. It's still so empty around here. There's no pictures hanging up on the wall, no decorations of any kind, except one. There's a photo of Eren and Mikasa standing by the some cannon of sorts sitting on the coffee table.

"That's my favorite photo." Her voice rings in my ears.

"Huh?" I turn my head around and see Mikasa trying to not smile to wide. I also see she has taken out the toilet paper out of her nose.

"My mom took that photo." She sits next to me on the coach. "You see how there's a shadow to the left us?"

I nod my head. There is a shadow on the ground right next to the cannon.

"That my mom... She was such a great photographer. I think that was her own little poetic way of saying that's she always with us, even if we don't see her."

"Awww." I gush.

Mikasa rests her head on my shoulder. "Are you in a rush to get home?" I flinch a little. She has this way making me feel every single nerve in my body.

"Not at all."

Mikasa nuzzles her head a little closer into my shoulder. "Good."

I chuckle. "I'm happy you agree." I rest my head on hers.

"Hey are you feeling okay? Do you need ice?"

"No, I'll be fine. Jean didn't hit me that hard."

"Are you sure? Cause I can kiss it and make it all better."

She doesn't say anything, so I take her silence as an okay. I move slowly away from her turn to face her. She looks at me with slightly flushed cheeks. I inch closer and hover a few centimeter from her face. I push out my lips and gently kiss the tip of her nose.

"Is that better?"

"Mhhh yes much better... But my lips don't get a kiss? They hurt too."

"I think they're much too sore for that, aren't they? I wouldn't want to hurt you." I tease.

"I think they could live." She insists.

"Well you know, I would love to play doctor with you here, but you still have to answer my question."

She sighs. "Really now?"

"Yes, really. I'm dying to know. Do you remember that night at the bar or not?"

She opens her mouth then quickly closes it. "You know, I don't think I can answer till I get my treatment from my favorite nurse." She runs a finger along her lip. "It's just so sore. The pain is distracting me from remembering anything."

"Oh" I nod my head. "but of course." I don't wait around this time. I give her a quick peck on the lips making sure to be gentle. "Okay, now tell me."

"Impatient are we?"

"Very."

She rests her head on my shoulder again. "Yes I do remember, Sahsa." She takes her time to pronounce each of the words. Like she coating each one of them with some special coating of sweet honesty.

"Then why act like you don't?" I can't hide my hurt from the words.

"Embarrassment? Fear? A mixture of emotions really."

"Why?" I ask genuinely flummoxed.

"I didn't mean to kiss you..." I feel her turn her face into my shirt. She's essentially hiding. "I mean, I did but those weren't my original intentions. It just... happened."

I let her words linger in the air. It wasn't what I was hoping to hear, but it's better than what I feared. I was waiting for the classics like 'I don't know,' 'I was drunk' or the 'It was just fun'. Instead, I got words with emotions behind them. Both the imagined and reality are as equally scary in their own right.

Life just kind of happens sometimes, huh?" The words spew out of my mouth. I've seen to lost my filter. "It doesn't matter if you want it or even like it. Time doesn't stop. Everything can seem so out of control."

"You didn't like it?" Mikasa says in a monotone pitch.

I laugh. I really don't mean to but that couldn't be further from the truth.

"No, no, trust me I like it." I lay my hand over hers. "I meant in general. Some events, eras in my life even... Sometimes I feel out of control. I feel like I'm the passenger of my own car. I'm not moving on the ground. The ground is moving me. There's no control, only the perception of it."

She cocks her eyebrow at me. "Are you sure you didn't have anything to drink or smoke?"

I knock my head against hers. "Yeeesss of course. Trust me, I'm very sober right now." I pause and think whatever or not I should continue talking. "Can't a simple girl talk about how complex life makes her feel?"

"You're far from simple, Sasha."

"You're the first to ever say that." I hate it when people say stuff like that. I always feel like they're lying to me. "Don't you know, I'm a farmer girl, the potato girl. I'm a tattoo artist. I draw on people's skin for a living... There's no complexity there." I gesture to my head.

Mikasa sits up. I miss my little heater. The world feels so cold without her.

"You're all those things. That's true but when I look at you." Her eyes are serious and she's looking me dead in the eye. "I see someone who loves to laugh. I see an artist. I see a young woman who questions what's in the mirror." She tightens her grip on my hand. "I see you as a person who wants to be happy. And that's a hard thing to be when you question yourself, Sash. You're not as simple as you make yourself out to be."

"I used to laugh more, ya know? I mean, I laugh a lot now, but most of the time it's nervous laughter. I mean from your bottom on your stomach, tears in eyes laughter. That happy sort of laughter that isn't forced. I didn't ever think back then either. I did stupid pranks and goofed around all the time. I never gave a second thought to the future."

"What happened?"

My heart feels like it's going to fall straight through the floor. "I, I ugh," I sigh. " a friend of mine moved to a better place... He's the better half of my brain. I guess, I miss him." I can't keep my eyes off the ground.

She wraps an arms around my back and rubs it. "I'm so sorry."

"It's, ahhh, it's okay." I nod my head. "Sometimes," I place hand over my heart. "I feel this piece of me is gone without him. It's like I feel guilty every time I have a real laugh or do something stupid. I want to tell him everything that's happening in my life. I want his advice. I want him to trivialize everything and make a stupid joke."

"Maybe you should call him them? Go see him? I'm sure the two of you can make it work. No distance is too far for friends."

"Yeah" I fake a smile. "I'll have to visit him soon. It really has been too long since the last time we talked."

"There you go." She rubs my back some more.

A silence falls between us again.

"You can stay the night, if you want." Mikasa offers.

I rest my head on her shoulder this time. I listen to her breathing stop or rather hitch.

"That'd be nice." I chime.

She exhales deeply and runs her hand through my hair.

This is nice. I like this. I like us.