AN: All this is written more like a scene from the show rather than a chapter from a novel. I like to imagine Megan Follows and Alan Van Sprang acting all this out. It's all supposed to be a little choppy, like real conversations. This is supposed to start around Episode 17, Liege Lord. I wanted to see where it would go if Henry caught Liam flirting with Catherine. I also ignored the whole Henry is King Crazy(no)pants part.

(Catherine) "Henry, let go of my hand! Henry, stop! HENRY!" Catherine struggled to free her wrist from his grip as he dragged her from the Throne Room to his chambers.

Henry tersely dismissed everyone from his chambers and slammed the door shut behind them.

(Henry) "Ah my Queen, did you enjoy yourself?" His biting sarcasm unable to contain his anger.

Catherine straightened herself, and haughtily replied, "Quite a bit actually. So much in fact, I barely noticed the late hour."

(Henry) "How nice! Lucky are those who can enjoy such carefree merriment." Henry turned his back to her as his anger climbed. "You were having so much fun with those Scots that that was all I saw when I walked into the room."

(Catherine) "Really? Then you must have been really happy to see that I wasn't going to bother you at all tonight. Without me to worry about, you must have enjoyed yourself quite a bit with that kitchen whore, or Kenna, or some other plaything," she countered, feigning apathy.

(Henry) "Of course I did! Wine, women, and the world at my feet. What more can a man want? It was amazing. It reminded me of my bachelorhood. What a free bird I used to be! I miss those days," he spat.

(Catherine) "What's there to miss about those days, Henry? It's not as those you aren't living like a bachelor still. We may be married, but you are in no way bound to me. Our relationship has never stopped you from being a 'free bird.' You continue to do as you please every night. In fact, I much prefer not spending my nights with you. It works better for me actually."

(Henry) "What do you mean?" He was usually good at ignoring her taunts, but tonight they were getting to him, particularly because of what he had just witnessed.

(Catherine) "Simple, I sleep much more comfortably without you by my side." Catherine's face registered a faint smile, set in place and entirely an act.

(Henry) "If you are so comfortable in my absence, then I will make sure I avoid you at all times. That way you can continue your merriment all day."

(Catherine) "How considerate of you, Henry! At least one annoyance in my life will be removed." Her smile remained plastered on her face, but her eyes darkened.

Henry spun around and took a few steps toward his wife. "Oh! Of course! Why don't you just come out and say it? Say that my very existence irritates you."

This was it! Catherine could not placate his petulance any more. She stepped toward him in defiance. "What is your problem, Henry?"

(Henry) "YOU! You are my problem…And I am your problem," he shouted.

(Catherine) "When did I say that, Henry? When did I ever say you are my problem?" Her anger began to get the better of her.

(Henry) "You didn't need to say it. You don't ever need to say anything. In fact, your real problem is that you never say exactly what you're thinking. But what you do…your actions reveal exactly what's on your mind."

(Catherine) "I wish…I wish you knew what I think. But no, you can't see anything or anyone but yourself. Do you ever care about other people's feelings?" Catherine's voice now began to rise.

This woman maddened him so. "No, no, how could I care? How could I understand what feelings are? After all, I am an emotionless fool, right?"

(Catherine) "Exactly! Congratulations on finally realizing it!"

(Henry) "Of course! I should have realized it a long time ago. When I asked you to stay with me the other day – whatever I said to you then – it was clearly devoid of any feelings. I was only doing that out of some obligation as your husband, right?"

Catherine's voice matched his. "Oh! So you admit you were only fulfilling your obligations till now."

(Henry) "Obviously! What did you think? That I was getting emotionally attached to you? You better reassess your twisted misconceptions."

(Catherine) "Please! I have no misconceptions about you. I know very well that whatever you do for me is only to fulfill your duty or responsibility. I'm not crazy enough to tangle myself in an emotional relationship with you."

(Henry) "I am so happy to hear that! I am so happy to hear that you have no emotional attachment to me, no expectations of me. Really, I am very happy to hear that." He paused for a moment, softening a little but still angry. "You know what, for a moment I did get emotional. For a moment, I started having feelings for you. That's why I tried to rekindle our relationship. But now I know all that was for nothing. Now I know that everything I do for you, all that I owe you is only out of duty or responsibility. I am so happy to hear that you don't expect anything from me."

(Catherine) "Why didn't you tell me earlier that you were going to be so pleased to hear this? If I had known, I would have told you a long time ago that I never expected anything from you!"

(Henry) "If we have no expectations from each other, then why maintain the farce of this relationship? We don't share a bed any more. Why even bother sharing a home?"

(Catherine) "Exactly my point! That's what I've been thinking too. When you are happy in your space and I am happy in mine, then why even bother discussing this? We should just stay away from each other!"

(Henry) "I could not agree with you more. We should stay away from each other. If everything about me irritates you, if you hate everything about me, then why bother at all?"

(Catherine) "My thoughts precisely! I am leaving. I am going to my chambers, Henry!"

Catherine took a defiant step forward, toward the door.

(Henry) "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You don't have to go anywhere. You can stay right here in this castle. I will leave for Diane's house in the country. I will leave! I will take all my belongings and leave forever. You will be able to completely forget my existence. That way there will be no Henry – and no problem for you. Okay?!"

(Catherine) "Not okay! This is your castle, your court, your country. You can have it! I will leave."

(Henry) "This is no longer my castle or my court. It used to be mine until you came and undermined and circumvented me. You are Queen of France only because of me. You wear this crown because of me."

Henry grabbed her crown out of her hair, sending her delicately coiffed hair tumbling down her shoulders. Both Catherine and Henry were too angry and too focused on their battle to even notice her curls this time when not-so-long ago this very action had brought them together.

(Henry) "But you continue to challenge my rule at every turn. You always subvert me whether it comes to matters of state or simply the décor of this place. Even if I leave for just two days, you change everything around here!"

(Catherine) "Oh! So you actually notice the changes!" She launched sarcastically. "I thought you didn't notice anything I did! Don't worry, Henry! If I can change things in two days, surely you can change them back in another two. I am going to my chambers."

(Henry) "FINE LEAVE!"

(Catherine) "I AM!"

Catherine stormed past Henry, but she was stopped a few steps before the door.

(Henry) "Wait! Don't you want to know when your next rendezvous with that Scot should be?"

(Catherine) "What?" She turned to face him.

(Henry) "Don't you want to know when I will be out of sight again so that you can meet with your lover? [seeing Catherine's perplexed furrowed brow] What? Did you forget? I didn't forget. You were quite taken with him at the party tonight, weren't you?" Henry stepped forward, backing Catherine against the wall. "You were practically hanging on to him as you two spoke."

Catherine let out a loud sigh, exasperated. "Yes, you're right. I want to know when I can meet him again. Tell me… tell me."

(Henry) "I knew it! I knew it! That's the kind of woman you are. You know, a strange thought has come to me. When you were fighting for your life, when we shared our moment together, you were not bothered by anything I did. Everything I did was perfect then! But now that your life has been saved, everything I do is wrong according to you. When you needed a moment of comfort, you wanted me. But now you want that lowly Scot!"

(Catherine) "Henry, stop!"

(Henry) "Why should I stop? Now that you are safe again, I am suddenly unfit for you. So don't worry! Don't worry at all, darling. Whatever you want, I will give it to you. I will arrange everything for you…for your pleasure. Just tell me. What do you want? A nice romantic evening with him? I'll arrange it. And why just dinner…I'll even have a nice room ready for the two of you…"

Catherine could not control herself any longer. She pushed Henry away from her, screaming "STOP IT! STOP IT!"

An unsettling, torturous silence engulfed them for a minute.

(Catherine) "What happened? Are you troubled that your wife is paying attention to another man?"

(Henry) "YES! Yes, I am troubled."

(Catherine) "Why? You can treat your wife as you wish? You can ignore me and humiliate me and shame me and threaten my life, my family. But as your wife I must always behave properly?! Why didn't you have a problem when you flaunted Diane and Kenna and all your other whores before me? Why didn't you have a problem when you threatened to behead me? Why weren't you troubled when you spent so many nights away gallivanting around town with other women while I was alone? You weren't bothered then. Why do you have a problem now?"

(Henry) "What difference did it all make then? What difference did it make to you? You didn't care! You didn't once show concern that I was away. Did you ever once ask me where I was?

This is not the first time you have indulged the flirtations of other men. Not once, not twice, you have done the same thing countless times. I know our marriage isn't perfect. I know I am not a perfect husband, but do you have to flaunt your dalliances in my face, in front of my court."

Catherine scoffed at his hypocrisy.

(Henry) "And there you are clinging on to every word that Scot said. Do you know how bad I felt? Do you care? If you don't care about me, why should I care about you?"

(Catherine) "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU?!" She closed the distance between them. "I don't care about you?! What did you think? That I am happy being alone? Let me tell you Henry, those nights that you were away, I didn't sleep a wink, not for a single second. Nostradamus had to make a special potion for me to get any sleep…to allow me to stop thinking about you for one moment so that I can finally rest. I lay awake every night awaiting a word from you. I was hoping you would come to me… to talk to me, to spend time with me, to ask me how I was…if I was happy or not…if I was okay or not…

BUT NO, no message, no visit, nothing from you. Even as I lay in my bed, my eyes would be fixated on the door. Every sound, every rustle would make me think that you had come so that I could ask you how you were…so that I could share your triumphs and your burdens… Dawn would come, but you wouldn't. WHY? WHY WOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU? Because I was worried about you. I was worried when you didn't come to me, when you weren't speaking to me. I desperately wanted to hear your voice, see your face.

Just because you saw me laugh and smile at the party tonight, does not mean I was enjoying myself. What did you say? That I was paying attention to somebody else at the party? I was always focused on you. If you want, I can give you an account of every moment you spent at the party. I can tell you how many pastries you ate, how many glasses of wine you drank, how many times you laughed, how many times you were irritated, how many times you looked at me, how many times you looked away, everything…everything. And you're saying I was paying attention to someone else?!

What do you think? I am the kind of woman who wants and enjoys the company of other men. YOU WILL ARRANGE A MEETING WITH HIM FOR ME?!"

As the tears began to form trails down her face, Henry stood shocked, silent. He could trade barbs and threats with his wife. He could berate her and argue with her. But he could not see her cry. He could never stand to see her cry.

(Catherine) "You know what your problem is, Henry. You understand exactly what you want to understand. For you, the truth is exactly what you see. THAT is your problem! You saw me laugh and smile with another man tonight, but you didn't see that I am wearing these earrings you got me on our first anniversary because tonight's the night we first met those twenty-something years ago. You see the furniture I move around, but you don't see the portrait of the two of us that still hangs in my bedroom…the one you painted for me. For whom do I do these little gestures? You see when I accept a small token from someone else, but you don't see what my eyes have been trying to tell you for years. You see that I was flirting with that man, but you don't see why I was flirting with him. YES, I was flirting with him. YES…not because I wanted his attention, but because I wanted yours. I was craving your attention.

YOU WILL ARRANGE A RENDEZVOUS WITH HIM FOR ME?! IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME?!"

As she wiped away her tears, Catherine's voice grew softer and slower.

(Catherine) "And see what I got in return for caring about you so much. Neglect. Misunderstanding. What do you think, Henry? That I was noticing someone else? You know what my problem is?! THAT I CAN'T SEE ANYONE BUT YOU. If there is anyone in my mind, in my sights, in my very breath, then that is you, Henry…only you. THAT IS MY PROBLEM! You think I was noticing someone else? Ever since we met, ever since I came to France, what have I done other than notice you…pay attention to you? I notice the little sparkle in your eye when you are happy. I notice how you clench your jaw when you are angry. When you lie, you avert your eyes. When you blush, your ears turn pink along with your cheeks. That's what I've noticed. Every little thing about you. How you hold your sword, how you greet your friends, how you dress, how you walk…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU. How you slump into bed when you are tired, and how you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow, and how your chest rises and falls as you sleep…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU."

Catherine clenched Henry's lapel, tears streaming down her face. She clung to him desperately, searching for answers in his face. He couldn't help but think for a moment that she looked beautiful so vulnerable, so unguarded, with hair tousled and disheveled. To him, she looked perfect.

A moment passed, and then Catherine sighed, "Your flirty charm, Henry. Your flirty charm… I should have a problem with it, but I even like that about you. I could not enjoy myself at the party tonight because you weren't by my side. THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T ENJOY MYSELF TONIGHT.

AND your damn impish grin. I know that means you are up to no good, that you have a new lady in your sights. I should hate it. But I even like that about you…I like that…I can't take my eyes off that playful, naughty grin…THIS IS WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT YOU…and you say I was paying attention to someone else?!

I know the difference between when your heart beats in anger and when it beats in excitement. I love it when you lay my hand over your heart. When you seek me out for a conversation, for counsel, for companionship, that's when I feel like a queen - not when I wear some crown or sit on a throne. Do you know that when you gave me undivided attention after my last pregnancy, I felt on top of the world? Despite the loss of our daughters, despite my failed health, I felt some semblance of happiness because you were by my side, day and night. Those were some of the most beautiful days of my life. Do you know why? Because I finally felt like I belonged to you and you belonged to me. I stupidly believed that I was finally important in your life…that I was finally a part of your life…but I was wrong…I was so wrong.

I started to expect that at some point you would tell me 'Yes, Catherine you are a part of my life. You are an important part of my life. You are special to me.' But I forgot from whom I was expecting this. I was expecting this from you, Henry… King Henry…King Henry Valois of France…who can make enormous decisions for the country, but can't make the smallest admission about his life, about his wife …whose decrees can change the course of nations, but who is afraid to share the minute feelings of his heart...that KING HENRY. THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, HENRY…your fear…your fear…of rejection…of denial…the fear that stops you from sharing your true feelings with anyone…that is your problem…your ego, Henry…YOUR BIG, FAT, MALE EGO! How can King Henry go tell his wife that he loves her…that he cares for her? NO! And besides, it's just Catherine. She's not going to care. She doesn't need to hear 'I love you.' I was crazy waiting for you all this time. I was crazy pretending that I was not hurt, pretending to be okay with your behavior. I was crazy waiting for you to say it to me first.

But let me tell you. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared! Not of rejection…not of becoming a joke…I am not afraid to share my feelings with you. What do you want to hear? Huh? What do you want to hear? That I say it first? Will that make you happy? Will that satisfy your MALE EGO? Ok fine! I'll say it to you. I will say what you want to hear…

I LOVE YOU! I. LOVE. YOU!

I REALLY, REALLY DO!

AND IT REALLY, REALLY HURTS!"

Twenty-five years of pent up anger and heartbreak and sorrow and frustration came pouring out of her. As the hot tears stung her face, Catherine buried her head into her hands and crumbled into Henry's arms.

Henry stood shocked. He wanted to say he loved her. He wanted to say she meant everything to him. He wanted to say that while she challenged him, she also inspired him. While he battled her, he also fought for her. He just wanted to do something, say something to comfort her. But he stood paralyzed, as she sobbed uncontrollably in his arms.

Catherine only allowed herself a moment. She extracted herself from Henry's arms. In as calm a voice as she could muster, with tears still streaming down her cheeks, she said, "You know what, Henry. When I was younger, growing up as an orphan in Florence and then through my captivity, I never thought that there would come a day in my life when I would feel like a part of a family again. And then you came into my life. And I finally felt safe; I finally felt loved. I finally felt like a part of a family. From the day I arrived in France, you were my family; you were my whole life. You mattered more to me than anything else in this world. And I am not afraid to say that because my family and my love are my strengths. Today, I am not scared of your rejection. There used to be a time when I would look into your eyes and think, 'God, there is so much honesty, so much innocence in his eyes…please never let him change.' And though I don't think that anymore, I still believe that at heart you are still a little child. You are still in my every prayer. God forbid we are separated, even then, trust me, you will always be first in my every prayer. My days will always start and end with your name. If I have one wish before I die, it would be to see some love for me in your eyes, albeit for just a moment…because I love you. I love you so much. Yes, I do. I love you a lot…[sobbing and to herself] why do I love you so much?

[She turned back to Henry] I was so proud to say that you are the man I love, the man I chose to love, to respect, to place on a pedestal. But I was wrong, Henry. You know what I think now? My love, my respect – you don't deserve any of it. You don't deserve anything. You… don't deserve any of it…"

Henry, softly, calmly, mustered up a few words. He delicately tried to convince her. "Catherine, please, please listen…sorry…this is not true...I..."

Catherine, hurt and angry, screamed, "If this is not true, then what is?! Tell me who I am to you. Tell me what you feel for me. Tell me what place I have in your heart. TELL ME! TELL ME!"

Henry stood there silent, unable to gather his thoughts and will himself to speak.

(Catherine) "You aren't going to say anything. I am certain you won't say anything because your ego will not allow you."

She stood before him wiping the tears pouring down her face. "Are you happy now, Henry? Is this what you wanted to hear? I made a mistake. I fell in love with you. Is this what you wanted to hear? Catherine de Medici loves you…and you don't give a damn about her. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

Catherine desperately tried to calm herself. Taking a deep breath to regain her composure, she wiped her tears, and put on her mask again – shoulders back, chin up, jaw set. Her eyes were steely once more; the only give away being the streaks the tears had left on her cheeks.

(Catherine) "I am going to my chambers. I think we need our space from each other again…this time more permanently…I…uh…I'm leaving."

As she turned and walked out, Henry gingerly reached out, wanting to stop her but unable to make himself do so. He watched with sorrow and regret as she walked away, wishing he could take it all back – the years, the distance, the tears, the pain, the distrust. He wished he could go back and be that carefree young prince again with his new bride. But all he could do was stand there…heartbroken…just as he had many years ago…just as he had many years since.