South Park: An Old yet New Face

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or any of its characters, besides Jake and his family. All rights go to Trey Parker, Matt Stone, & Comedy Central. Other OCs belong to their creators.

Chapter 17: Titties and Dragons

A/N: I'm back, everyone. I'm a horrible person for updating so late, I'm sorry guys. I'm In my last year of High School so between keeping my grades up and choosing colleges, I've been stressed. I also get writer's block a lot and, sometimes, I'm just flat out lazy. I'm sorry.

Anyway, this is the final chapter to The Black Friday Trilogy. I also have a few more chapters planned out after this, which are, (in this order):

1. You Got F'd in the A

2. Major Boobage

3. Chef goes Nanners

4. The Succubus

Check out Stick Of Truth news after this chapter. So, enjoy!

"He did what?" Cartman asks in disbelief, "He flew down in a parachute and did what?"

Me, Clyde, Kyle, Raven, and most of the Xbox group stood in front of Cartman's "throne" which was just a lawn chair on top of a small platform we built.

"Apparently, he stopped Microsoft from blockading the shipment of PS4s to the mall." Clyde responds while on his phone, "Looks like he's all over the place winning the console wars for Sony."

"Because, because what?" Cartman got annoyed and I don't blame him, "Because he's cute?"

"He's got everyone on Sony's side, Cartman." I stated, "There's no way we can stop him!"

Cartman rolled his eyes, "But what does he do besides that he's cute?"

Then Ms. Cartman opened the sliding door, "Sweetie, Bill Gates is on the phone for you." She tells him.

I can't believe I almost forgot Cartman made a deal with Bill Gates himself. I hate to admit it, but Cartman was very good at doing stuff like that. I almost envy him, but then again it's Cartman.

"Tell Bill Gates to suck my ass, Mom!" He yells. We all gave him a look before his eyes went wide at the realization, "Uh, Mom, don't seriously tell Bill Gates to suck my ass. Tell him everything's cool and I'll call him in a bit."

"Okay, Sweetie." Ms. Cartman then shut the door.

Kyle glared at Cartman, "This would have never happened if you would have let Kenny be a princess in the first place!"

"He's not a princess, he's a DUDE!" Cartman argued.

"Well that "Dude" is on the other side and getting more people on Sony's side!" Raven exclaims, "We're totally fucked!"

Kyle nods in agreement, "We are out of options!"

I titled my head to the side at him in confusion, "What're you trying to say, Kyle?"

"I have an idea." He states before walking up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder, "I don't like it, and neither will you, but I think it's the only choice we have."

Kyle was right about his plan. I didn't like it, but it was the best choice we got. The plan was for everyone to pitch in at renting out the Red Robin near the mall to get our next-gen consoles early. The downside was we had to get PS4s.

"You sure about this, Kyle?" I asked him after he had told one of the PS4 soldiers we surrendered.

He nods, "I'm definitely sure, dude. There's no way Gracie wouldn't believe us. Well, you at least."

I smiled, "If you get us back together, Kyle, I owe you my life."

"I'm just glad one of my best friends is here to support us." He laughed, "If it was just me, I wouldn't know what to do."

Before I could reply, Sean led us to the PS4 yard where our sides met face to face. Gracie and Stan led the PS4 side while Cartman and Kyle led the Xbox side. I was a little further behind Kyle, but was still ahead of the rest.

I couldn't help but look over at Gracie, who glanced at me for a brief moment before looking away. Guess she's concerned about me…at least I hope she was.

"Go ahead and tell him, Cartman." Kyle urged the fat wizard.

Cartman sighed out in defeat, "Alright. On behalf of the Xbox fighters of Zaron we hereby lay down our arms and give up, okay?"

"Haha." Craig laughed the most boring laugh I ever heard in my life.

"Shut up, Craig!" Cartman snapped, "This is very difficult! You guys win, alright?! We'll all play on PS4s! We still think Xbox is superior, but you guys have too many people on your side, then Kenny became a Japanese princess!"

"Nobody saw that coming." Nathan admitted from the back.

Kyle took a step forward, "Look, the truth is, we all have a bigger problem now, and you know it. Nobody is going to get anything if we don't work together against those thousands of other shoppers."

Stan narrowed his eyes, "So, better a PS4 than nothing?"

"I think we'll take our chances on our own." Gracie finishes before turning her back at us.

"We know a way inside the Red Robin." I blurted out.

I wanted Gracie to believe us, so this was the only choice I had. It was better than nothing.

All eyes were now on me from both the PS4 and Xbox side.

"You don't think you're the only ones who thought of that?" I questioned while walking up to stand next to Cartman, "We were going to use the Red Robin entrance too, and we figured out how."

"He's right." Cartman nodded.

Kyle picked off from where I was going, "It can be rented out for wedding parties. If we all chip in together we can pay for the deposit to have the wedding party there."

"Hey, That could work." Craig says.

"Let's do this together, babe." I walked up to Gracie, who turned her back once again, "Our only shot at playing any next-gen console is by teaming up. If you wanna game on a PS4, then I do too."

Gracie looked at me and bit her lip in thought, "And you swear you'll be okay with that? You won't talk about the Xbox being better ever again?"

I grabbed her hands, "I swear, Gracie."

She blushed and smiled before turning to face her army, "Alright, guys. Looks like we have a wedding to plan."

Her and the others walked away while I heard Kyle walk towards me.

"I can't believe you went through with that." Kyle says, surprised, "I was supposed to tell Stan that but…dude, you do realize you just jeopardized your whole relationship with Gracie, right? Because you just straight up lied…"

I glanced at the ground in disappointment, "I know, and it sucks, but it just feels like…I did the right thing…"

"Let's just hope it was the right thing." He sighs.

Now was the time for the "wedding party". The Red Robin staff were setting up the tables and chairs while our army and the PS4 army helped with the decorations. Cartman was talking to the manager about the wedding itself, probably some bullshit on who was getting married.

As for me, I was helping Tweek and Sean nail a banner to the wall until Kyle came running towards me looking frantic.

"Dude! Jake!" He shouts.

"Huh? What's wrong, Kyle?" I ask him. Tweek And Sean looked at him in confusion.

He quickly took my hand and pulled me to the side, away from those two.

"I-It's Gracie." He says.

That alone made my heart stop. Was she okay?

"Gracie?" I repeated, "W-what about her? What happens to her?!"

Kyle inhaled sharply and said, "Gracie found out about our plan."

I instantly dropped my hammer to the floor and stared at Kyle in shock. How did she find out? Oh God, I'm fucked!

"What?!" I nearly screamed, "How?!"

"I-I don't know!" Kyle stuttered.

"Jesus Christ!" I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Okay, okay, we have to warn Cartman. Right now."

Both me and Kyle approached Cartman, who just finished talking with the manager.

"Cartman, Cartman!" I shout, "I heard that Gracie heard about our plan!"

To my shock, Cartman nods, "Yes she did."

"Well what the hell are you doing?!" Kyle questioned, sounding just as shocked as I was, "This isn't gonna work now!"

Cartman shushed him and walked with us, "It's fine, both of you. Everything's been taken care of. Gracie won't be telling anybody anything…ever again."

I stopped walking and all the color from my face disappeared.

"…What did you do?" I whispered.

"What had to be done." Cartman states.

"Cartman…" Kyle started to glare at the fat wizard, "Tell me you didn't…"

Then, I finally knew what Cartman did. I couldn't find the words to say, so I bolted out of the Red Robin and tried my best to get to Gracie's house as fast as I could.

I can't believe Cartman would actually do that. He swore we wouldn't have to do it! That fucking…that asshole! I'm so mad that I couldn't even call him any names!

I just fucked over my whole relationship with Gracie! First I lied to her, now she thinks I was the one who got her grounded!

When I finally reached her house, I knocked on the door and waited for her Mom to answer.

Riana, Gracie's Mom, answered the door a few seconds later.

"Oh, hey Jake." She smiled at me while letting me inside.

"Hi. Is Gracie here?" I asked, still sounding frantic.

She sighed, "Yes, she is, but she's grounded so I'm afraid she can't play right now." She led me upstairs, "She's not allowed out of her room, but since you two are a couple, I'll let you talk to her through the door."

"Thanks, Ms. Hutchins." I say.

"No problem, honey." She replies, "and keep it short, okay? She's in real trouble. She ruined a nice old man's garden."

When she went down the steps, I knocked on Gracie's door, "G-Gracie?"

"Huh?" She sounded startled, "Hello? Who's there?"

"It's me, babe." I reply.

"Get out of here!" She shouted.

"Gracie, I know you're pissed at me right now." I started, "You've gotta understand that I did it because I know in my heart…"

I heard a small thump, "If you say anything about that fucking Xbox we're through, you got that?!"

I hung my head in shame. She was right. She was right that I was going to say something about the Xbox.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say.

"I can't believe you think some dumb Xbox is better than our relationship!" She scoffed.

"I-In my defense, you weren't playing fair." I said, "You knew Stan's Dad was working part time in the mall!"

There was a short silence before Gracie admitted, "I never knew Stan's Dad was working part time at the mall!"

"W-what?" I asked in shock.

"Stan didn't even know either!" She added, "but you couldn't even just ask him. Because Xbox people…don't care about the truth. They just care about seamless multimedia connectivity."

I sighed while putting my hand against the door, "I'm sorry, Gracie. I'm sorry. This whole war has just got us all screwed up. I just want us to be playing Call of Duty or maybe even Saints Row on the right machine."

"You don't understand. I'm never playing either of those games with you again!"

I let my head fall on the door, "Gracie, don't say that."

"Get out of here! I don't want to talk to you!" Then she started to bang something on the door that made it rattle, "Mom! Mom! Get him out of here!"

I backed away from the door in fear just as Ms. Hutchins arrived. Not wanting to bother her, I quickly left without saying a word.

When I left the house, I dialed Kyle's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Kyle? Dude, did you know both Gracie and Stan didn't know Mr. Marsh was working at the mall?" I ask him.

"What? Really?" He was surprised too, "Then Cartman must've…that son of a bitch! Dude, that fat pig lied."

We both were silent for a minute before a sudden idea formed in my head.

"Kyle…" I say before looking across at Gracie's house, "I think I have a plan to get Cartman back. You in?"

I met Kyle outside of the Red Robin and we discussed our plan. It was a good thing he saw my side of things or else I wouldn't be able to pull this off. Like Cartman, Kyle was manipulative in his own level.

He knew how precious Gracie was to me too. Not to mention he supported us from the very beginning. Unlike Cartman, that fat fuck. He's gonna get what's coming to him.

"You want to tell Kenny while I tell Stan?" Kyle asked me as we stopped in front of the Red Robin back entrance.

I nod, "It's better like that. I think "Princess" Kenny has a thing for me."

"Gross, dude." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"As long as it's pretend, I don't care." I said.

When we walked back inside, we noticed both Kenny and Stan, luckily, talking to each other in the corner.

"Stan. Princess Kenny." I started, "Can we talk for a minute?"

Kenny and Stan glanced at one another before glaring at us. I gulped.

"We heard about Gracie." Stan says, glaring at me the most, "You have any idea how she got grounded?"

Kyle gulped too, "Look, we didn't know Cartman would stoop to that level. He promised us he wouldn't get anyone grounded."

(You really think we're gonna believe that?) Princess Kenny asks.

"Do you guys really believe I would get her grounded? Me? Her own boyfriend?" I asked rhetorically, "Look, I'm just as pissed as you guys are. Not only did Cartman get my girlfriend grounded, but he stooped to a very low level. That's why me and Kyle have a plan."

"Cartman was going to lock you guys in Red Robin so they can get Xboxes first." Kyle explains.

Stan and Kenny's eyes went wide, "No fucking way!"

(I knew he was bullshitting!) Princess Kenny says angrily, (Why are you telling us this?)

"So you can trust us." I reply, "Kyle and I are gonna betray Cartman and get PS4s. We decided to switch sides."

This was the only way I can make it up to Gracie. I had to prove to her that I was still trustworthy. That and I still cared for her.

(Did you now?) Princess Kenny started to examine me, which me made real uncomfortable, (I guess we can believe you two. Alright, when do we start?)

I looked over at the entrance to see Clyde guarding it.

"First, we have to get rid of Clyde." I stated, "Kyle, you should do that. Princess Kenny, you keep Cartman distracted. As for me and Stan, we'll tell the others about our plan."

We all nod to each other than went to the task at hand.

About 10 minutes later, Stan gave us the signal to start our betrayal. I nod over to Kyle and walked up to Cartman, who looked panicked when he noticed Clyde wasn't in his spot near the door.

"Clyde?" Cartman asks, "Clyde? Where the hell is Clyde?"

"Princess Kenny," I narrowed my eyes at wizard fat ass, "I think it's time we return the wizard's hospitality."

On cue, everyone on the PS4 stood up in unison and pointed their weapons at the soldiers of the Xbox side. Princess Kenny grabbed Cartman by the collar and pointed his wooden dagger near his neck.

"What the hell is this?!" Cartman demanded.

"I'm sorry, Cartman." Kyle stood next to me, "But there's been a change of plans."

Cartman scowls at us, "Sir Jake, they're about to open the mall, what the hell are you doing?!"

"The right thing." I respond, "I let my own girlfriend get grounded. So, I'm getting her a PlayStation today."

"Wait, Gracie's grounded?" I heard Kalel ask from the back of the restaurant.

The wizard ignored her, "Jake, the PlayStation controllers suck and you know it!"

"The fight's over, Cartman." Kyle stated, determined.

"It's not over yet." A voice I never heard before said, "It looks like I came just in time."

We all looked in confusion when Bill Gates entered the restaurant holding a gun in his hand.

"Oho, yeah! Bill Gates!" Cartman cheers, "In your face, Jake and Kyle!"

"You will not interfere, Bill Gates!" A Japanese man enters from the other side, speaking with a very thick accent, "These-a children will get their PS4s."

Princess Kenny cheered from "her" spot.

I titled my head to the side in confusion, "Wait a minute, H-how the hell did these two guys end up here?"

"They're not part of your betrayal?" Cartman asks, just as confused as I was.

Kyle shook his head, "No. They're not a part of your betrayal?"

"No. Whose betrayal is this?" Cartman shook his head.

We then heard chains coming from the front entrance. We all turned to see Gracie locking the front entrance. She had on her warrior costume which made me blush at how badass she looked in it.

"Gracie?" I asked in disbelief. What the hell was she doing?

She ignored me and looked at Bill Gates and the Japanese man, "We're done with betrayal! It's time to put an end to this!"

"Woah, dude." Was the only thing Kyle could muster out.

Gracie approached me and rubbed my arm, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Jake, but I have a better idea!" She walked away from me, "This isn't our war, guys! It never was. We've been pitted against each other by two companies for the sake of marketing. That's why they want lines around the block."

She stopped between Bill Gates and, I supposed, The president of Sony.

"Because they want a war to promote their products." She continued, "They don't give a crap what kind of friendships they cost. You two want a war so bad?"

She tossed her wooden sword at the Sony President. The next thing she said made me even more attracted to her.

"Then you fucking fight!"

The Sony president started to stroke the wooden sword while Bill Gates dropped his gun and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Then let's finish this." Gates threw his shirt over his shoulder. He was covered with MS-13 gang tattoos with a tattoo on his chest saying 'MS-DOS'. "Winner take all!"

Cartman rose his eyebrows, "Oh dude, this is pretty sweet."

"Then let this be your last fight, Bill Gates." The Sony President says.

Gates threw the first punch, then followed up with a few kicks. The Sony president comes back with a right hook.

We all looked in horror at the unarmed brawl as Butters entered back from his trip to find George RR Martin, "Hey, fellas. What did I miss?" He asks, smiling.

The two continued their brawl for 5 minutes. When Gates had the Sony president on the floor, he grabbed his head and started to smash it against the floor.

"This…is over…" Gates declared after every head smash, "Now…you die!"

The Sony president's head was cracked open, exposing some of his brain. There was a pool of blood under the Sony president's head. Gates then picked him up and threw him against the wall for good measure. He slid down the wall in a bloody mess.

"It's over." Gates says breathlessly while leaning on a nearby table, "Xbox…wins."

We all were too shocked to respond after witnessing that fucked up fight.

"Yay, Xbox wins." Cartman flatly cheered.

Stan shrugged, "Yay."

The door unlocked and Stan's Dad, with a ugly scar over his eye for some reason, opened them, "Stan! You're alive! I saved you all!" He fell to his knees, "It's okay, Beyoncé! The fight's over! You can still shop!"

He fell to the floor in exhaustion.

"Go on, kids." He gasped for air, "Go get your Xboxes."

We all looked at each other until exiting the Red Robin. When we first entered the mall, the walls were covered with blood and bodies were spread on the floor. People had gotten stabbed, trampled on, and some even got crushed.

We didn't care. We were so used to this sort of crap that it didn't affect us.

Besides that, I didn't care because Gracie decided to hold my hand as we went up the escalator. I smiled hard as we followed Cartman up the mall. Looks like my plan worked after all.

The hole in my heart finally closed when me and Gracie were together again. I felt complete once again. Despite everything that happened, nothing could've ruined this moment.

"Can Elmo smell your genitals?"

Well, besides that.

We entered the EVGames shop, where even more bodies and blood was. The clerk looked unfazed despite all the death and chaos that occurred in the store.

"Happy holidays, guys." He greeted us, "What can I interest ya in?"

Cartman pointed to the boxes of Xbox Ones behind him, "We'd like to get Xbox Ones please."

He gave us a thumbs up, "Good choice, guys!"

Later that afternoon, me and Gracie, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Craig, Butters, Scott, And a few others were at Cartman's house watching him and Stan play the new Xbox One.

Me and Gracie sat next to each other, holding hands and smiling at each other as we watched Cartman and Stan.

"The interface is pretty cool." He says, "I told you guys, it's really a…it's a seamless interface."

Stan nods in agreement, "Yeah, it is."

"The graphics are definitely, like, 10% better than the old Xbox." Butters adds flatly.

Jimmy nods, "Yeah that's…that's…that's pretty nice."

The game fell silent before Cartman places his controller on the floor, looking displeased.

"You guys wanna p-play outside or something?" He asks.

Me and Gracie exchanged a worried look with each other until everyone followed Cartman outside to his backyard.

"Cartman?" Kyle looked concerned for a minute, "Your side won, dude. Why are you so sad?"

"I just…" Cartman closed his eyes for a second, "I can't get the image of Bill Gates…bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes."

I don't blame him. It was pretty sick to witness that.

Gracie let go of my hand and turned around to face the others, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Well look, guys, Xbox won the console wars, I mean, what are we gonna do? Not play video games?"

"The last two weeks we've been too busy to play video games and, look at what we did." Cartman explains, "There's been drama, action, romance…I mean honestly you guys, do we need video games to play?"

"You're right." We agree in unison, "Good point."

Cartman nods, "Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things. Like, like this."

He picked up a nearby stick and held it out in front of us.

"We could just play with this." He states, "Screw video games, dude! Who fuckin' needs them?!"

"Yeah!" We all cheer.

Cartman then held the stick high in the air, "Fuck 'em!"

Little did we know that a "SOLD" sign was being placed in front of a red house just down the block.

AOYNF: The Stick Of Truth coming soon! OCs are accepted!

"Yeah, And If you believe that I've got a big floppy wiener to dangle in your face!"

"Butters!"

"Oops, Sorry."

A/N: The Stick Of Truth will be a seperate story because there's just too many chapters for me to write in this story (I plan on ending this story in like 35 chapters). I'm already looking into a few OCs some of you requested and I'm excited to write them in. If you want your OC to be in the story, please PM me or leave a review describing your OC like this (its easier):

Name:

Hair:

Age:

Gender:

Side (Human or Elf):

Clothing (Armor):

Thats it. However, please don't PM me or leave a review asking if your OC can play a major role in the story like being the main villain or leading a whole other faction. I'm trying to follow the main game but add minor twists and turns. Also, there's a guarantee your OC won't be in every chatpter. Please let other OCs have their time to shine. Thank you. As for Douchebag, i won't describe much of him because he's supposed to be you.

Thanks, everyone! See you soon!