Chapter Six

I didn't make the mistake of calling Severus 'black haired' in the previous chapter did I? Cause let me remind you, it's dirty blond at the moment and I seem to be the only one to forget this.

(*&*)

Bruce couldn't believe that he was sitting at the table of the man who had insulted him not too long ago. He was also just a bit surprised to find that the man had a son of his own, then again they had met in a child's store so it made sense that he had some kind of child in his life but a biological kid? Bruce shook his head, he couldn't let those kind of prejudice cloud his mind. This guy could be a real winner for all he knew, could be into volunteering and being nice to others and other shit like that. Besides… he was kinda cute in a 'I'll set your house on fire and bite off your dick because I think it'll be funny' kinda way. It wasn't a type he was normally attracted to unless you counted a few shameful toss offs after unwanted fantasies of a certain sadistic menace. His cheeks looked a bit weird, probably make up but his lips were full and pretty and his eyes danced and shone like a thousand suns. He was also restless, always moving around as though if he didn't his heart would stop. It was endearing…

"Then I kick his legs out from under him, there's piss everywhere and he's looking terrified and I'm just cackling with my dick swinging out," the man continued. Bruce pulled up short and stared incredulously at the man who had just spoken. What in the fuck!? Had he missed some kind of background story to this? Was there some point to that statement? Bruce frowned and looked at the two women who had taken seats with them and realized that their facial expression practically matched his so it wasn't just Bruce.

"Y'know we don't know each other's names right?" the blond haired woman changed the subject suddenly. Bruce blinked at her, opening his mouth to object because what kind of idiot, not to mention detective would he be if he didn't have the common sense to at least know everyone's name before he joined them at a table? As he continued to stare at the petite woman, he realized that, no. He did not know her name. In fact, he didn't have a slightest clue about any of their names or their kids' names. Well damn.

"I'm Pamela Isley and Lily is my niece. I'm a biologist but I own a grocery store on the side," the red haired woman stated quickly, staring them each in the eye before taking a long sip of her liquor.

"The redhead?" Bruce inquired, taking in the vivid red hair among the sea of black, brown and blondes.

"No, that radioactive red is just a coincidence," the blond man stated snidely. Bruce glared at him from the corner of his eye. He knew the question was slightly stupid but that didn't mean that the other had to rub his face in it. Then again… he could be having his face rubbed in something much worse.

"Anyway," the perky blond next to the redhead cleared her throat, "I'm Harleen Quinzel-Isley but you can call me Harley. I'm Pammy's wife. We've been married for two years now. Oh I'm a doctor by the way—psychologist."

"I am sure you all know that I'm Bruce Wayne and I'm a business man. The blue eyed, black haired boy is mine. I adopted him a few weeks ago—his name is Richard Grayson-Wayne." Bruce announced proudly. He had thought about it for months, visiting the orphanage in secret before he finally found the little gymnast boy with great talent. He was an amazing little boy that Bruce took an immediate liking to. Now it was finalized and he had himself a little boy… Bruce smiled to himself and finally looked at the only one who didn't introduce himself, his posse or his kid.

"Well this is my father, Joseph Kerr," the dirty blond started, gestured to the man standing a few feet away from them. He was an older fellow with graying golden hair and dancing blue eyes that looked highly amused as he nodded towards them respectably. Even though it was obvious that he was older there was still an air about him that stated that he was quite dangerous despite his age and friendly smile. He actually reminded Bruce of Alfred. Bruce liked that.

The dirty blond jumped off the table and sauntered over to a purple haired teenager who seemed to be napping, slapping a thin hand over the mop of hair and giving it a rough ruffle. The boy let out a yelp and batted at the man who laughed loudly at his reaction.

"This little bastard right here is my… nephew! Sleepy I call him," the man said proudly. The boy blushed deep red and glanced at the people now staring at him curiously.

"Um… please call me Teddy?" the boy mumbled. He seemed to be pouting at being embarrassed by his uncle and obviously wanted to sink as deep as he could into the ground if the set of his shoulders were anything to go by.

"Hey sugah, I'm not sure if you know but there's a place for older kids—it has rock climbing and I think some video games and whatnot," Harleen piped up once more. The boy seemed to brighten for a few moments before deflating slightly as he looked up at his uncle with big, big eyes.

"Psss… fine, go have some fun kid," the man waved him off and made his way to one other man. This man had bright blue eyes and was watching a single spot as though it held all the secrets in the world. He only moved his gaze when the skinny man flung an arm on his shoulder.

"This right here is my half-brother. He got into a little uh… accident so he has a habit of not talking much… right Z?" the man smiled teasingly. Bright blue eyes danced over the other's handsome face before turning back to the single point.

"And what kind of trouble did he get into and with whom?" Pamela quirked a curious brow at the silent man. The scarf that had been wrapped securely around his neck was now slightly open and she could see a jagged scar that looked as though it could be going lower. The Joker… or whoever he was today smiled brightly and gave the blond man a little jostle before returning to them to plop down.

"Oh nothing serious. Just a little slip of the hand from a very, very disgruntled man but oh well. Now the finale, the one you have been waiting for—me if you haven't guessed—I'm Ja—." The man suddenly paused, mouth still open and hand still dramatically in the air. His onyx eyes seemed much darker as the cogs turned in the back of his mind slowly but surely. Whatever he was remembering, Bruce found himself extremely curious. It must have been something terrible because he his arm fell with a thud, slamming into the table and his mouth shut with a sharp click of his teeth. The twisted look of anger that sprung to his face was absolutely terrifying and undeniably hot. The expression was familiar, fleeting in the back of his mind but he couldn't quite remember who he had seen it on. All he knew was that this man was undeniably attractive and wow, he was having a bit of a sexual identity crisis at the moment.

"Are you okay?" Harleen reached out slightly and flinched when the man suddenly sprang into action. In a flurry of motion, the dirty blond was on his feet and by his father in a matter of seconds. He grabbed the old man by the arm and dragged them well out of earshot. Even though Bruce could only see Joseph's face, he could tell that whatever was happening, whatever the younger man was talking about was pretty goddamn intense.

(**)

"Jack," Joker said grimly.

"What in the devil…?" Joseph frowned in confusion as he gazed at the younger man. It seemed as though something had happened, something big because the man was now pacing and twitching something awful and if he didn't stop someone was going to notice just how much of the Joker seemed to be in those movements.

"Jack! That's his name, Jack Nape… Napier! That little shit," Joker hissed, throwing his arms into the air. Joseph took a deep breath and he calmly went through his own thoughts, attempting to figure out if he knew this person. The name certainly sounded familiar. Jack Napier… he was a henchmen at one point, right? A bit before the Batman thing, when Joker was still doing bank jobs and freelance mercenary work. Yes, he remembered the man. He was one of the only ones that continued to live after a bank job. Actually after three bank jobs.

"Red hair, pale skin. Rather useful but very resentful," Joseph said aloud, nodding to the man to elaborate seeing as he couldn't make a connection. The redhead had crossed the line one day, said something foul and then he was gone the next. Joseph had assumed that either he was smart enough to run when the getting was good or, more likely, Joker had some fun and then disposed of him in some discreet manner. But honestly, the man was a nobody—hardly worth remembering.

"He's the one that took Sev. Him and that bitch—they were part of some uh, jobbbs that I've had and then they both disappeared. Never thought to go after them, no point. A fuck buddy and some mouthy fucker… but they took Sev. Both of… them. She was preggo with my kid and she… ran with… himmm and abused him," Joker frowned deeply and wished he could get his hands around her neck. He was going to toss her out of a window, ensure she survives then markup that pretty face of hers. Then he was going to cut out her uterus and shove it down her throat! And oh when he got to Jack… Jack wasn't going to know what hit him. That man had better hoped that Severus killed him because papa bear was so much worse than the cub.

"Who is this woman and why would she even think of going with Jack?" Joseph tried to follow along but he found himself completely lost. Jack was literally a nobody, it was only Joseph's amazing memory that even brought up the man's vague features.

"E… something with an E. She came from London or some rot with a prissy attitude and open legs. Sev has the accent and he's around the right age if he was a little… premature. And the way little J described, the… Find. Them. Both of them. Take a lackey and FIND them," Joker ordered with a heavy scowl. Joseph felt his heart skipped but kept the dread from his face. He had been avoiding that Europe as a whole for a long, long time now. He hadn't stepped foot on the motherland for decades and now, now he had to go back. There was no question that he had to go back. It had nothing to do with the Joker and the death that would fall upon him should he refuse the madman. This had everything to do with that little boy who was so uncertain and awkward and reeked of past pain. That someone had the audacity to hurt that child… well, he was going to see to it that just desserts are handed out.

"Do you have any description about the woman? Height, age, last name?" Joseph asked in hopes that finding the woman would be easier. Jack wouldn't be hard to find. He was a foreign man and even with cracks in the government, someone would have noticed him. Someone had to have heard his screams and if anyone was even half magical in the area, they would have felt the amount of magic Severus used to escape. He hadn't really thought about how Severus had gotten here, hadn't thought about that Manchester accent but if he had come all the way from Europe… well, that was very impressive. He knew some adults that couldn't do that although that could be because children were known to have an excessive amount of magic at young ages. They could do amazing feats before they ever get a wand.

"Princess or Pinecone or—." Joker tried to pull up something about the woman as he couldn't exactly remembered what she looked like but he vaguely believed that she might have been skinny and tall.

"Eileen Prince?" Joseph guessed warily. Joker's eyes brightened and the older man just knew that he had guessed correctly. Oh great, just fucking peachy. Eileen fucking Prince. Joseph sighed, there was no chance that he wouldn't run into someone from his past but… it was time to face that particular tune anyhow.

(**)

"Er…" Bruce started as the man came back and sat back down although he had less energy about him. His movements were slow and rather predatory as he muttered unintelligibly under his breath. He wasn't sure what happened but it had certainly ruffled some feathers. Bruce quirked a brow as the Alfred-like man strode in the direction Teddy had gone off to with the air of a man on a mission.

"Don't mind him. I just remembered something very uh, important. Mind is a crazy, crazy place," the man smiled slightly and made a whirl around his ear, "Back to what I was saying. My name is Toby."

"Toby!?" Pamela gaped, her eyes wide as though she couldn't believe that the man in front of her was named Toby. Bruce frowned, was there something he was missing? He was sure that none of them had known each other but the woman acted as though she knew he was lying. He looked at the man, not sure what a Toby would look like however, he rather liked the name.

"Yupperoo! Tobias really but Toby for short, T if you're feeling lazy, E if you're feeling crazy," Toby smiled a little brighter, obviously liking the shock displayed by the red haired woman. Pamela scowled at the man, unable to believe that out of all the names he decided to pick, Tobias would be one of them. Really, wasn't he meant to be a cliché and go with something like Jack? Jack sounds a bit like Joker… get it?

"You are one odd man," Bruce murmured as he gazed over to the other. Toby looked at him and quirked a brow, his eyes obviously suggesting that he was the last one to talk about someone being odd. Not that Bruce was odd. No… no, there was nothing odd about a grown man dressing up as a very expensive bat and beating people into a pulp when they threatened the lives of the people that hated him. No. Nothing odd about that. And besides, it was totally a secret that no one but a select few knew.

"So, we've got booze, we know each other names… wanna skip to number exchanging and playdate scheduling?" Harleen piped up suddenly, giggling to show that she might have had one too many sips of Mommy's Potion. Tobias laughed as though he heard the best joke ever even as he took out some napkins and a pencil. Okay, who carried a lead pencil in their pocket? A rather sharp one too by the looks of it. He scribbled on two of the napkins and shoved one into Pamela's chest and the other into Bruce's face.

"That's my uh, personal cell nummmber. Try not to call too late, need my beauty sleep y'know. Texting is always good. Very good because these thumbs can move even when broken," the blond drawled with a lazy smile before he stood from his chair once again and walked off. Bruce looked to the number and found himself itching to take out his phone to store it. There was something about this man, something that he was drawn to but dammit, he was probably crazy and he had enough of crazy people in his life. He should throw it away and never think about the man ever again.

"Couldn't wait to get his numbah huh Mr. Wayne?" a high pitched voice teased. Bruce jerked and realized that Harleen was grinning madly at him, watching as his thumbs darted across the touch screen to save the number. Bruce cursed, there went his plan to not associate with crazy people.

"Come along Harleen, Lily has a doctor appointment in the next hour," Pamela announced, standing up. The beautiful woman gave him a sharp smile and held out a card with a smiling harlequin draped in ivies. Harlequin and Ivy's Grocers. The two owned a grocery store? Maybe he would get Alfred to buy some things from there and test it out.

"Well see ya later Mr. Wayne!" Harleen waved over her shoulder and ran after her rapidly disappearing girlfriend. Bruce absently waved back, pondering about the strange people of Gotham. One thing was for sure, he would definitely not allow these people into his home. Although… Bruce looked to the phone where Tobias's number was already saved. Then he glanced at the card he had somehow tucked into his pocket. Both of the numbers were already seared into his brain.

Jesus, it was no use. It seemed that his newly arrived son was going to get two new friends… and maybe he would get something a lot more intimate as a consequence. Tobias did have quite the ass on him.

(**)

TBC

Why do I end things so oddly?