Levi remembers a lot of things about his childhood. He remembers that from the time he could walk and speak, he was alone. He remembers that he was always dirty, always hungry, always hiding. He remembers the women that cast him pitiful looks and the children in new clothes and nice shoes that peered at him curiously from their mothers' hips. He remembers the men that told him they wanted to help him. He remembers the way they reached out their hands, told him to follow, and the way his feet moved along beside them even when his mind said no. "Don't make a noise" they would say and Levi wouldn't. He would be very quiet, his lips glued shut. "Don't cry" they would say and suddenly Levi's eyes would stop glistening. He remembers so vividly that he wishes somebody had told him to forget about it. But they didn't, so he remembers.

He also remembers getting arrested by the Military Police for stealing an apple. He didn't really think he deserved to be jailed for it, since the damn thing was all bruised and mushy anyway but those bastards didn't really care. He recalls being thrown into a cell and chained to the wall. He's not wearing any pants, just a ratty old shirt that he had managed to snag from a clothing line. It's gray now; full of holes and completely frayed around the edges. He is disgusting. His feet are caked with dirt, the soles black and grimy. His genitals and thighs are sticky, no, crusty. They're crusty from the times that the men took him away and it makes him shudder. Someday he'll have a beautiful big bathtub and pretty smelling soaps like the people in the city and then everyone will know that he's not to be pitied.

He's in the cell for hours, maybe days, he doesn't quite know. A guard stops by with a tray of slop and slaps it down in front of him. It splatters onto his clothes. The brown stuff is runny with chunks of what he is supposed to believe is food. It's cold and smells positively fetid. He won't be eating it.

"Well?" The guard snaps. "Aren't you gonna eat?"

Levi looks up at him and shakes his head. He brings his arms forward in case the man attacks.

"It's probably better than the shit you eat, city vermin!" The man replies.

Levi continues to deny him and the man gets frustrated. He can tell because even in the dimness of the cell, he notices the man's teeth clench and he wonders how such people become military police.

"Go on, scum. Eat it like the animal you are."

Levi stiffens as his mind sort of clicks. His face goes straight down into the putrid slop and like a pig at a trough, he laps it up. It makes him want to gag, but his stomach doesn't churn until the man lets out a yelping laugh that echoes throughout the cell. He hears him call to his friends and then more footsteps. He can't see, but he hears them right outside the bars, giggling and jeering at him. He's crying now, salty tears mixing in with the watery-yet-mushy glop that now covers a good majority of his face. The guards find amusement in his misery for a bit longer but eventually he hears them leave.

Then there are more footsteps. He's about three quarters of the way done with the disgusting "food" and his stomach is rebelling, but he can't stop eating no matter what. He's fully sobbing now, but the noises are choked and suppressed by the constant intake of slop.

"Hello?" He hears a man call, but he has no choice but to ignore it. The man tries several more times to get his attention and Levi wishes he could take a split second to acknowledge him, but the curse won't allow it. He waits for the man to give up and leave him be.

"Please speak to me."

Levi's eyes widen as he is freed from the previous order. He raises his head to look at the man. What a sight he must be; his face his coated brown as if shoved into a mud puddle and his eyes are wild and red. He opens his mouth and utters a single syllable before sickness overcomes him and he doubles over to regurgitate the horrible slop he's just ingested. It goes right back onto the tray; he's coughing and sputtering, voiding his stomach of every last drop. This leaves him shaky and tired.

"Are you alright?"

The man is still there. This surprises Levi, who figures he had fled during his incessant vomiting. Now he looks up and takes in the man's appearance. He's tall, much taller than Levi, and much more muscular, too. He's also older, but not too much. Maybe in his twenties; Levi doesn't quite know how old he is, but he assumes he is a teenager since his voice is getting deeper than it was and he has hair in other places now. However, he could be younger since he doesn't seem to be growing any taller unlike the boys on the street that he compares himself to. Anyway, the man is also blond with a polished haircut and thick eyebrows that give him a stern demeanor. He's wearing the soldier's uniform, but he sees the survey corps badge on his jacket. This intrigues him. What is a scout doing so far inside the walls?

"Did you hear me?"

Levi is suddenly aware that he's still chained to the wall and that he is dangerously close to putting one of his knees into the pile of puke he just deposited. He inches back towards the wall a little and curls up.

"What do you want?" He asks with a slight waver to his voice.

"I want to know if you're okay. You seem to be extremely ill." The man replies.

"Fine. Just perfect." Levi answers. There's a small scowl on his face. He learned a long time ago that anger is a better defense than blatant fear.

"You're one of the street rats, aren't you?" The man asks. Levi isn't sure if he should take offense or not, so he does anyway.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." He growls and turns away from him the best he can. He's sort of blocked in by vomit and chains.

"I was on my way here and I saw the chase. You're pretty fast." Blondy continues. He doesn't seem to get the hint that Levi isn't in the mood to chat. "And your reflexes were impressive."

"And?" Levi questions. He desperately wants to wipe the slop from his face, but there's not much he can do unless he feels like dirtying his only shirt and revealing himself to a complete stranger at the same time. Well…it wouldn't be the first time.

"And I think you have potential." Blondy tells him. Potential? Potential for what?

Levi doesn't reply. He stares at the man knowing that he'll explain whether he wants him to or not.

"I am Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps." The man introduces himself.

"Commander?" Levi grunts. "Aren't you a little young?"

"Field positions aren't held by a person for too long." Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps shrugs. His eyes meet Levi's and for the first time the boy is taken back by how sharp they are. "Why don't you tell me your name?"

It's spilling out of his mouth before Levi can even register the command and Erwin seems surprised by his compliance. "What do you want?" He asks in annoyance.

"I want you come with me; become a member of the Survey Corps' scouting legion." Erwin responds. If anything, the man doesn't beat around the bush. "We could use somebody with your speed and reflexes."

Levi's eyes widen as his arms strain against the chains. If it weren't for them, he would be by the man's side by now. "N-no." He shakes his head. "I don't want to. I'll die."

"It's very likely." Erwin replies honestly. "But I see the potential in you. You could accomplish lots in our fight against the Titan menace. Please consider it. "

The moment he says it, millions of thoughts stream through Levi's mind: images of the bodies that come in wagons from outside the wall. Their limbs are missing; their bodies are mangled and soaked with blood. Their blank, vacant eyes show horrors.

"No." Levi says shakily. "Please stop."

"You could be a hero, Levi." Erwin insists. "Please join the scouting legion."

Join the scouting legion.

Levi's eyes fill with tears. He knows that like all beggars and street rats, he will one day face the noose for one thing or another, but he never imagined that his execution would come so early and in the form of a Titan. He shudders and bites his tongue until it bleeds. He fights. The curse will not kill him. Not like this. As Erwin watches, he struggles. Growls, whines, and sobs spill from his mouth. Tears stream down his face and his body vibrates with effort but he can't fight it. Never has and never will. His will cracks and with condemned tears in his eyes, he locks his gaze with Erwin.

"I will join the scouting legion."

Erwin finds out after a month. It amazes him at first how well Levi is at taking orders. Never before has he seen a trainee as obedient as Levi, who performs each task without a single moment's hesitation and does it to the best of his ability. His performance both in the field and in training is phenomenal, but for some reason, he has failed to notice any sort of joy or enthusiasm in Levi's young face. In fact he could have sworn he'd heard crying coming from the boy's room some nights. If the boy was so miserable, why had he joined in the first place?

The others notice Levi's attitude as well. His snappy, hot-headed personality makes him unapproachable and scary, especially to those younger than him. Levi doesn't seem to have a problem with sitting alone during meals, but then there are the ones who take personal offense to Levi's behavior, resulting in constant stand offs.

Erwin gets called from his office by a young scout who looks so upset and jumpy that the commander was tempted to check his pants for spiders. He glances up and asks the boy what he needs, and the scout quickly rattles off a stream of unintelligible words. He manages to catch "Levi" and "fight."

Erwin is up in a second and hurrying out the door. He doesn't care where Levi came from; fighting amongst trainees will not be tolerated under any means. For too long he has made excuses for Levi's stony cold behavior, but physical harm towards another scout is something he cannot excuse. He picks up the pace just in time to see Levi swing at one of the recruits.

"Hey!" Erwin barks and stomps over to them, grabbing the petit young boy by the elbow and yanking him back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Levi grunts and roughly tugs away from the older man. "His fault." He grumbles.

"You're the one who attacked me!" His opponent protests.

"You told me to!" Levi growls.

"Did not!"

"I don't care!" Commander Erwin snaps. "Both of you are well aware of the rules. There are no excuses for such unprofessional and unruly behavior."

Levi folds his arms over his chest and huffs. "Not my fault he can't control himself."

"Oh go suck a dick, street rat." The boy retorts offhandedly. He turns away, at first oblivious to the sudden panic in Levi's eyes, but it doesn't slip past Erwin's attention.

"Are you alright?" He asks the boy, who is now shuddering and bright red. He suspects fever and raises his hand to feel the teen's forehead, but before he has the chance, Levi drops to his knees and silently begins to unfasten the button on his pants. Surprised, Erwin pushes him away but Levi comes right back, crawling after him with a miserable expression on his reddened face.

"What the hell?" The other scout gasps in surprise and starts to laugh at the sight of Levi pressing his mouth to the crotch of Erwin's pants before the man can push him off again. Erwin's own face pinks in shock and he backs away.

"Stop that, Levi!" He orders and to his astonishment, the boy ceases immediately, crumpling to the ground in relief. There are tears in his eyes that he quickly wipes away. Levi stands and moves to leave. As he does, Erwin watches him curiously.

During dinner that night, Erwin tells Levi to come to his room at exactly thirty-one minutes and six seconds after eight. Then he sits in his office and stares at the ticking clock, counting each and every second. At the exact time, there is a knock on his door and though his suspicions increase, Erwin still cannot be sure if this is simply a result of effort or if one those rarely heard of "birth gifts" has found its way into his ranks. He tells Levi to enter, which he does.

"Yes sir?" Levi mumbles.

"Do you know why you're here?" Erwin inquires. Naturally the boy shakes his head, so he decides to do a few tests. "Remove your shirt." He says casually and watches with fascination as Levi rather unhappily obliges. "Place a piece of your shirt in your mouth." This time he feels a twinge of guilt at the look of misery on Levi's face. "Please redress while I speak to you."

He watches Levi hurry to pull his shirt back down and even though the teen has been eating a diet better than that of a beggar and exercising daily, his frame remains rather skinny and small. Erwin wonders when Levi will start sprouting like the rest of the recruits have.

"I wish for you to tell me the truth, Levi." Erwin says slowly and clearly. "Do you possess a birth gift?"

Levi is silent for a long moment, but he can only resist for so long before his tongue spits out a strained yes. Erwin doesn't need to ask anything else. He already knows.

Hanji is the first to find out after Erwin. It's no surprise, really seeing as her observation skills are top notch despite how distracted she often appears. However, she lets something slip to Petra one evening and before Levi can do any damage control, the entirety of squad Levi is aware of their captain's…disadvantage.

They become guardians of sorts, from outsiders as well as each other because even though they mean well, accidents happen. Erd didn't actually mean it when he told Levi to go fuck himself. Still, it's good that Oluo was around to keep Levi from shoving his fingers up his ass right there in the middle of the dining hall.

Levi reluctantly accepts their "protection" as per Erwin's request ever since he'd lost a month's worth of kitchen supplies to a few beggars requesting food, but he knows better than anyone that it's for the best. Not to mention that there are always those who will try to take advantage of him.

Levi remembers the one day in late April when he went to the market with Hanji and Mike to pick up fresh supplies. He's off on his own, counting out the loaves of bread from the vender when a hand slips around his waist and pulls him off to the side. He comes face to face with a bearded man whose breath reeks of alcohol. His mouth turns upwards into a sly smirk and his hand drifts down to Levi's ass to give it a rough squeeze through the tight white trousers. Levi nearly chokes but before he can take action, the man leans in and catches him in a kiss.

"Don't think I forgot about you, whore." He murmurs, grabbing Levi's backside so tightly that it'll leave a bruise. "Just because Mr. Hotshot up in that nice estate has taken you in as his sweet little pet, doesn't mean I've forgotten. You're mine."

Levi is revolted, pushing at his chest and calling out for some aid before his lips are taken in another disgusting, slimy kiss. "You're my bitch." The man says gruffly. "So act like it."

When Hanji and Mike finally find him, Levi is shoved up against the wall with his legs wrapped around a strange man's waist while said man sucks at his neck. Levi's eyes are squeezed painfully shut and even though small moans of pleasure are escaping his throat, Levi has never looked more frightened in his life. The ride home is silent and uncomfortable.

Levi remembers the day he first meets Eren Jeager. He can tell from first sight that this boy has fire in him, so naturally he beats the shit out of him to establish the hierarchy. This is a good call on his behalf since afterwards the boy seems just a bit too scared to do anything but ask questions and take orders. This is good.

Sometimes Levi doesn't remember. Those are hard times because someone will offhandedly tell him to "forget it" and suddenly the poor man is wandering around the grounds wondering where the hell he is until somebody finds him. If it's anybody who knows about the "gift", the simply order him to remember and he's off on his merry way once more. (Well, not that merry.) However, on the off chance that one of the new recruits finds him, he is taken straight to Erwin while his team does damage control. (Half believe he's a raging alcoholic, the other half thinks it's old age, thank you, Hanji.)

However, what Levi remembers the most is Erwin. Erwin, who remained accidentally-on-purpose within fifty feet of him at all times until the others found out just to ensure his safety. He remembers the way Erwin spends the night in his room after a discussion in the dining hall about Titans ends with "You will always be afraid."

Erwin never takes advantage. Outside of battle he makes sure to put question marks on everything because it's about what Levi wants, not Erwin. This attitude arrived shortly after the realization that Levi had not willingly joined the survey corps and though Levi has told him many times that he has no regrets, the guilt still weighs heavy in his mind. Levi remembers the dark cell and the slop on his face. He remembers the way Erwin saved him. He remembers the way Erwin watched him, took care of him, comforted him, and loved him.

He remembers the way Erwin's fingertips lightly caress his jaw. The touch is gentle as if he's one of those expensive China dolls inside the walls of Rose and it makes him feel special. Erwin is silent and they communicate through looks exclusively because even though his image is worth a thousand words, his winces and whimpers are priceless. But then Erwin says "I love you." And Levi replies with an "I love you too" that is more passionate and immediate than any order he's ever been made to obey.

Levi remembers pain. He remembers poverty and loneliness and humiliation. He remembers filth and shame and rejection. But now he remembers loyalty and trust and love and friendship. Most importantly, Levi remembers Erwin, who had ordered him to die, and then asked him to live.