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Of Epic Failures and That's Really It

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Something was wrong. Really, really wrong.

First of all, Shikamaru never went to Yakiniku Q unless there was something huge to celebrate, and the fact that he was taking her there meant that something was going to happen.

Second, he was taking her and her only, which was not usual. Whenever he went to Yakiniku Q, he'd always take Ino and Chouji, and Temari, too, if she happened to be in Konoha. Sometimes, he'd also take Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke, but that was about it.

Third, there was just something disconcerting about the looks people had been giving her. Practically everybody she had encountered whom she'd come to known here in Konoha gave her the strangest smug looks. She had demanded what was going on, but they all had just suppressed a smile and shook their heads. Even Shikamaru wouldn't tell her what was up when she asked.

Something was definitely wrong.

So as Temari sat in a booth in Yakiniku Q, Shikamaru across from her, their meat cooking on the grill in between them, Temari scrutinized Shikamaru, studying his expression. He only looked as lazy as ever, though.

Temari sighed. Frustration was settling in, and she didn't like feeling out of the loop.

"That's it," she said, catching Shikamaru's attention. "What's going on?"

His eyes fixated on her teal orbs. "What do you mean?"

"You're up to something, aren't you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You never take me here alone, but you are now."

"No matter how troublesome it is, you're my girlfriend. I've never taken you here alone." He sighed. "Blame Ino. She's trying to make me take you out alone more often."

Temari eyed him cautiously, but let it slide.

After that, lunch went by normally. Shikamaru told her of everything that was going on in Konoha, and Temari told him about what was happening in Suna. Temari tried to convince herself that this was just another date–couples take each other on dates, after all–but something in the back of her head was still nagging at her.

Suddenly, Shikamaru said, "You were in my dream."

Temari furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"

"When we were all in the Infinite Tsukuyomi… I saw you in there."

Temari suddenly became interested. "What was I doing?"

He shrugged. "I was complaining about how troublesome marriage is, and you were standing next to me and you agreed with me."

"I was in it, huh…" Temari leaned back in her seat, her hands behind her head. "To be honest, you were in mine, too." She paused for a moment. "This is kinda embarrassing, but…" She bit her lip. "We were married, and we had kids. Two, I believe."

"What a troublesome dream," said Shikamaru. "Man, marriage sounds terrible."

"I don't think it would be too bad," said Temari. "I'm not saying it won't be hard. It definitely will. But sometimes, I think it would be pretty nice to have kids and raise them normally."

"But what if they have to go through the same things we did? War and stuff, you know."

"That's… definitely a problem," she admitted.

He sighed. "I really don't want to get married," he muttered. "I don't wanna deal with a troublesome woman all the time–"

"Are you saying that you don't want to marry me?" asked Temari, narrowing her eyes.

"I didn't say that. I'm just saying that living with you–"

"Oh, so you're saying you don't want to live with me?"

"Sometimes, I think living by myself would be easier."

"You're a lazy ass."

Shikamaru shoved both hands into his pockets and muttered something under his breath.

"What did you say?" said Temari.

"Nothing," he replied, a little too quickly.

"Tell me."

He rolled his eyes. "Do I really have to do this…?" He reached for something in his pocket and took it out. It was a small, black velvet box. He got down onto one knee, revealing what was inside–a ring with a diamond in the center in platinum.

Temari gasped. She was internally panicking. She didn't know what she was feeling–shock, joy, frustration, anger, or a mix of everything.

She knew what he was going to do.

"Temari, this is probably the most troublesome thing I've ever done and I'd rather not do it. But because I kinda have to do it with someone, I decided, out of all the women in the world, I'd rather do it with you." He sighed. "So, Temari, will you–"

Temari hit him upside the head.

Shikamaru glared at her. "What was that for?"

"You're such a lazy ass," she muttered. "What kind of guy starts out his proposal by complaining about being married? That's the most stupid thing ever. And also, I… I'm just mad that nobody would tell me what the hell was going on! And this was all because you wanted to propose to me?" She was fuming, but she didn't care. When Temari was mad, she was mad.

"When a guy proposes, aren't you supposed to keep it a secret?" Shikamaru pointed out.

"Well, yeah! But… But I hate not knowing things. It's the worst thing ever." Temari was pacing back and forth, arms crossed, cheeks heating up dramatically.

Shikamaru sighed. "Women are so troublesome. Now, I'm not so sure I'm ready for this…"

Temari stopped and turned to look at him. "Hey, no going back on it!" She took the ring from the box and put it on her own ring finger just as he was about to shut the box and put it back in his pocket. "Damn it, Shikamaru. This is the worst proposal ever. I actually had to put on my own ring. Just imagine how our wedding's gonna be like…"

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "So is that a yes?"

"Of course it is! How… stupid can you get?" Temari groaned in frustration and sat down in her seat, head buried in her hands.

Shikamaru approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" When she didn't respond, he asked, "I should leave you alone, shouldn't I?"

"No, it's fine," said Temari, sighing. "It's just… I was so mad that it seemed like everybody was keeping something from me, and now that I actually know what it is, it just feels right to let all my anger out. It's not your fault, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru took Temari's chin in his hands and gently lifted her head up so she was looking at him. They stared at each other for some time–

And then they kissed.

They had shared so many kisses in the time they had been dating, but there was something special, something magical, about this one, despite everything that had happened in the last few minutes. Their lips fit more perfectly than ever before, and it all just felt so right. Maybe it was the fact that Shikamaru had (utterly failed when he) proposed to her, or the beautiful diamond ring on her finger, or the fact that it was finally sinking in that We're getting married, we're getting married, we're seriously getting married.

But in that moment, everything in her life seemed to be perfect.

When they let go, everybody else in the restaurant started applauding and cheering and letting out whoops of joy. Temari looked around, and it finally hit her that there were other people in the restaurant.

"Way to go with embarrassing ourselves," she muttered to Shikamaru.

"This is troublesome," he admitted.

"Very."

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fin

notes: I got the idea from chapter 678 in that oh-so-perfect ShikaTema panel, and it gave me so many feels and it made me so obsessed with the idea of a ShikaTema marriage. I had no idea how to write out an actual marriage between the two of them, but I had a clear idea of a proposal, so I went with that instead. I'm really not that sure how this turned out, though, and I'm really nervous about it, but because I'm always so critical about my work, I decided it would be best if I let the readers decide for themselves.

Hopefully you guys liked it, and reviews are much appreciated!