Anything you can do, I can do better
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Naruto, but I wouldn't object to owning a certain sensei! (*^3^)/~
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
It was a blissful spring morning with a slight breeze wafting through the leaves, the rustling sounding like whispers drifting around the tranquil Copy nin. He preferred days like this to the hectic, balls to the wall, normal daily life of a shinobi. Oh don't get him wrong, the excitement of the job never gets old in the least, but sometimes it's great to just unwind and take in the scenery. But the best thing of all about today? The quiet. The utter stillness; the soft ambient noises of the birds and forest animals only adding to the peaceful morning. Oh yeah, he could definitely get used to thi...
"You did not just say that Naruto!?" A feminine shriek filled the air, drawing the attention of the two shinobi sitting under a nearby tree and startling a flock of birds into flight. 'Well it had been peaceful,' He sighed, checking his watch. 'Hmm half an hour, a new record for those two.'
Kakashi lifted his gaze from the pages in front of him and considered the two forms a few yards away. From the stance of the pinkette, her hands on her hips, brows furrowing, yelling at the blond in front of her, he could see that she was upset. Well to be frank, upset didn't quite cover it. Perhaps perturbed, irate, livid, hot under the collar, outraged, even furious might be better. Man, he should quit reading a thesaurus when he was bored.
He turned his gaze to the blond as he eased away and flinched from her rage, his stance suggesting he most likely stuck his foot in his mouth yet again. Sighing, he considered not getting involved with this troublesome situation. Taking a leaf from Shikamaru's handbook of staying out of it, he went back to his book, but kept an eye on the screaming kunoichi. Just because he was taking a backseat to the spectacle doesn't mean he would miss it or pass up a golden opportunity to make it worse.
Licking a finger he flipped a page idly wondering how all this would play out. Would she use her inhuman strength and send the boy into orbit, or perhaps if she's feeling particularly vindictive she could delve into his body with her chakra and mess with his motor functions again. Now that had been an entertaining afternoon. Watching Naruto try to eat ramen with his face shoved into his bowl, arms completely useless. Who knew totally confusing the neurons in one's brain would be so amusing? Being a mednin had its benefits and Sakura took full advantage of the situation on or off the battlefield. Making her a fearsome opponent indeed. Confrontations with the pinkette were legendary and he had a front row seat making him wish for some popcorn to munch. This was going to be good.
Sai, who had been busy sketching the whole time, looked up from his pad of paper his hand frozen mid-stroke as he watched the pair but with a more clinical eye then the Copy Nin. "Dickless, maybe you'd better apologize before you get your teeth knocked down your throat for the third time this week," Raising an eyebrow at the blonds stupidity. I mean really, when will he ever learn to think before he opened his mouth. Even though emotions were still kind of new to him, Sai understood what was appropriate to say and what was suicidal. Especially in front of the fiery kunoichi. But then again we are talking about Naruto, and obliviousness kind of comes with the package.
"But Sakura-chan, I didn't say anything wrong," Naruto whined. Kakashi sighed in exasperation and Sai rolled his eyes, obliviousness indeed.
"You know damn well what you said was entirely untrue and utter chauvinistic bullshit!" she yelled back. Her hands waving in the air for emphasis drawing everyone's attention to the appendages. One in amusement, one in contemplation and one in apprehension. They had all seen her heal with those hands, and what one flick of her finger could do to a boulder or in some cases a whole damn mountain. Even so, it still awed them that the 5ft, petite little thing in front of them could decimate at least 30 guys with just one punch. And yet, there were still some who forgot and needed constant, and more often than not, painful reminders to watch what they say.
Still keeping an eye on her fists Naruto tried explaining again. "All I said was..."
"Yeah, I know what you said Naruto, we all heard your asinine comments. You don't need to repeat them, but if you want an up close and personal encounter with my fists, go ahead and keep talking." She warned, hands clenched at her sides making her gloves creak with the strain. "I need to break in a new pair of gloves anyway," She added, baring her teeth.
Putting his hands up for added protection, Naruto eased away from Sakura slowly, little warning bells ringing in his ears signaling that he was in danger of becoming a stain on the Hokage monument. Or if her temper was any indication perhaps an impromptu visit to Suna, he wondered how long it had been since he'd seen Gaara.
"Now now Sakura-chan, I didn't mean it in a bad way, just as an observation of sorts."
"Saying that men are better than women in combat is not an observation you idiot. It's an assumption and a really stupid one at that, and you'd better take it back if you know what's good for you."
Flipping a page in his book, Kakashi decides to pipe up, because poking an already enraged kunoichi was one of his many hobbies and he was damn good at it, if he said so himself. "You know Sakura-chan as amusing as it is to see you punt Naruto across the village, how about proving him wrong instead?" Making her pause in her stalking of the blonde idiot in front of her, turning her questioning gaze to her ex sensei.
"I think what Kakashi-sensei means is instead of hitting him in the body, hit him where it counts; his ego," Sai explained, furiously sketching out the scene in front of him. Studying emotion from books was alright, but examples of it were much more easier to comprehend and he wasn't missing this ample opportunity.
Brows furrowing in confusion she looked from Kakashi to Sai and as the words sunk in she turned back towards the befuddled Naruto with an interesting smirk on her face. In fact it looked downright evil; Orochimaru would be so proud.
"So what you're saying is, show him he's wrong by example, am I right?" she asked tilting her head as if studying the possibly soon-to-be-dead-idiot in front of her.
Both shinobi nodded in affirmation.
"Exactly," Kakashi murmured, an answering smirk appearing on his face. Things were never dull around Sakura and throwing Naruto in the mix, you had a 100 percent chance of fur flying.
"What did you have in mind Sensei?" she asked, cocking her hip to the side as her rage diminished being replaced with fierce determination.
"And please don't say bell test or I'll ring your bell, Kakashi." She added with a warning glare directed at him, almost making him shut up...well almost.
Pouting as his idea was shot down before it was even explained, he glowered at her. "Oh but Sakura-chan, this isn't just any old bell test," he paused for emphasis, seeing if she would take the bait. Noticing her eyeing him expectantly he dogeared his place in his book and stashed it back in his hip pouch, giving her his full attention. Kakashi pushed himself to his feet with the grace of a large cat and leaned back against the tree.
"See now, while it is a bell test," he started as she scoffed. "It's not the bell test you've had. This one is, well, rather a bit different." Biting his thumb he slammed his hand on the ground and a large explosion of smoke filled the area, followed by the baying of eight ninja hounds. The smoke started to clear and she spotted Pakkun as the little pug lifted a paw in salute and one of the hounds bouncing around the pack energetically.
"Yo boss, whatcha need?"
"Boss boss boss! Guess what? Guess what?"
Bull scratched at an ear with a hind leg and snorted as he used one of his huge front paws to trip the still bouncing hound, tackling the wiggling mass to the ground. Playful growls and barks followed from the dog under the massive black bulk of Bull, successfully distracting him and shutting him up until they got their orders. 'Guess this is a normal occurrence,' Sakura mused as she bent down to give each hound a scratch behind the ears. The ninken all gathered around her eager for more attention, making her laugh softly.
"Boys," That one word spoken in his Sensei voice commanded respect and made the ninken snap to attention and fall into formation. Even Bull managed to move faster than she thought he was able, all riveted on their alpha, ears perked. It was all business now, even the wriggling mass called Shiba was managing to sit still which was quite an accomplishment in her book.
"Boys, we are going to help Sakura-chan and Naruto in a little training exercise I like to call, Golden fleece." Kakashi chuckled as he saw the confused frowns of Naruto and Sakura and the eager tension in his hounds.
"What the hell does a Greek myth have to do with this?" Sakura asked, pinching the bridge of her nose. She would have thought she would be used to his antics by now, but really. Naruto still looked really confused, but trying to explain would take literally all day so she stuck to trying to make sense of all this.
Kakashi shrugged, "Well, basically it's just a game of keep away from the hounds, but instead of the normal bell," he pulled out two gold bells instead. Ahh and now it was making some sense. "Sakura gets one and Naruto gets the other," He said tossing them to each person. "Now the rules are anything goes. Your object; to keep the bells from my ninken for as long as you are able. The one who manages to hold onto their bell the longest, wins. Now," He began, eyeing them both in turn seeing Naruto's wide grin and Sakura's calculating eyes on his hounds. "You need to take this seriously," he paused directing his gaze at the blond. "Because I can guarantee you that the boys will do everything in their power to get those bells."
Sakura nodded and adjusted her gloves while Naruto tightened his
hitai-ate in preparation. Satisfied he turned his gaze to his hounds, "Ok boys you know the drill, same exercise we always do and don't go easy on these two," He added almost as an after thought, smirking slightly. Rubbing his chin in thought, he eyed the dogs before him.
"Bisuke, Akino, Uhei and Bull you're with Sakura-chan. Urushi, Shiba, Guruko and Pakkun you're on Naruto," A chorus of yips and barks followed his command. Nodding he watched as both shinobi tied their bells to themselves and nodded back confirming their readiness. "Alright, two minutes head start you two," He had barely said the words as two dust clouds floated in front of him. 'Hmm seems they are getting faster.' Shaking his head he watched the clouds overhead for a minute counting down silently, his gaze landing on the hounds in front of him. He knew what they were waiting for and he watched as the tension rolled off them in waves. The excitement of the chase, the thrill of hunting the prey. He smirked, time to have some fun.
"Scatter!" And like a shot they all bounded away, not even the sounds of their claws giving them away. After all, they were no ordinary dogs, they were ninja dogs and Kakashi had trained them well. Determined to watch as best as he could, he jumped into the highest tree he could find and settled on the top most branch bringing out his favorite book, and waited. The sounds below amusing him as he never lifted his eyes from his book, instead using his imagination to fill in the blanks.
Various growls and barks followed by a loud baying filled his ears. 'Ahh, sounds like Guruko found Naruto.'
"Shadow clone jutsu!"
'Well that was predictable.'
"Arrrgh, dammit Pakkun, these are new pants!"
"Hey, boss said anything goes, and that includes your clothes, so get off your ass unless you forfeit."
"Never!"
'Ok, sounds like they are going strong, now to see how Sakura-chan is doing.'
An explosion rocked the tree he was sitting in making him grab onto the limb for stability and trained his ears to the distant sound of a "Chaaaa!"
"Gonna have to do better than that to get this b...
A thunderous bark echoed through the forest followed by a very feminine shriek.
"HEY Bisuke, it is not ok to put your nose there!"
Kakashi smirked, knowing Bull and Bisuke were herding the pinkette towards a trap. There had been a method to his madness after all. Assigning Bull to Sakura had been strategy, and maybe a little bit of payback, but mostly strategy. His bulk against her might was the perfect match up, and the other 3, who were more lithe and agile could box her in setting everything up for the perfect trap.
'Now let's just see if she can spot it and avoid it.'
He leaned back listening for the tell tale yips and soft barks of his hounds, knowing this was their sign they were into position. A gruff woof returns, followed by a sharp yip and then utter chaos erupted. The baying of the ninken wrangling the kunoichi pierced his ears making him wince and dig a finger inside, easing the slight ringing reverberating in his head. A thunderous crack sounded and then several thumps followed, whimpers came to his ears as he spotted the winded kunoichi bending over to catch her breath, looking down in the fissure filled with his hounds.
"Ha ha ha," She panted trying to catch her breath. "Like I said guys, gonna have to do better than that to catch me off guard," She smiled down at them dangling her bell overhead.
'Hmm seems more training in store for those four. Now we'll see if Naruto fairs any better.'
Half an hour later found Naruto on the bottom of a dog pile as Shiba bounced around happily announcing their victory quite loudly in barks and yips, a golden bell swinging from his teeth. Sakura bounded back into the clearing, looking as dirty and worn out as the rest of her team, but proudly displayed her bell still attached to her belt. And promptly burst out into peals of laughter at the sight of Naruto under the wriggling furry mass on top of him. Each ninken giving a bark of greeting to the pinkette, snickering at the dirty hounds trailing after her, earning quite a few growls and glares.
"First win goes to Sakura-chan," Sai announced.
"Excellent job boys, you've earned a rest," said the Copy nin to his out of breath hounds. Each wagged their tails at the praise and picked a spot on the ground to collapse and relax.
Naruto was still slumped on the ground whining and Sakura was standing over him looking rather smug. 'Hmm time to shake things up again.' Kakashi thought to himself.
"Now for the second challenge. It's a bit unorthodox, but it combines chakra climbing and dodging," Kakashi explained.
Both stood there in anticipation, waiting for him to continue. You could always count on Kakashi thinking of the weirdest and most over the top exercises and he wasn't about to disappoint them.
"Ok guys see this sheer cliff we are standing next to?" He pointed down, bringing attention to the very crumbly ledge a few feet away. 'Oh yeah this will be good.' He smirked continuing his explanation,
"You two are to start at the bottom while Sai and I stay up here."
Naruto and Sakura looked at each other and then with raised brows turned back towards him. Surely there was more to this then chakra climbing up the side of a mountain, right?
"While we are going to be up here it's going to be your ultimate goal to climb up the wall, but Sai here will be rolling down ink boulders trying to make you fall. Your job is to dodge the incoming projectiles, making sure to keep at least two limbs connected with the side of the mountain and make it to the top before the other person. Got it?"
Both nodded back grinning as they took a chakra leap off the cliff and landed at the bottom stretching their already sore muscles, waiting for their signal to start. Turning, the Copy Nin regarded the artist beside him who had taken out his trademark scroll and brush, perching himself on the ledge overlooking the two below him. His brush poised above the scroll, waiting for the signal to begin. Standing a few feet away from the artist, Kakashi looked down and saw both shinobi crouching down, ready to spring into action. He raised a hand and looking back between Sai and the two below, he let his arm fall. The two below took a chakra filled leap and attached to the wall as Sai's hand became a blur across the scroll in his hand. The artists eyes trained on the two fast approaching, hurling boulders of varying sizes at the two, keeping the shinobi in his sights not making the ascent easy in the slightest.
Kakashi turned his eyes back to the two racing up the vertical wall, just as Naruto barely managed to dodge a fairly huge boulder coming down on his head. The blond let out a yelp and dove to the side, his left foot coming off the wall for a second before slamming it back down. Getting back to his feet he raced after the laughing kunoichi as she ducked and weaved through the menagerie coming down upon them.
Kakashi had specifically suggested this challenge knowing it catered to her specialty as a mednin, playing on her strengths of dodging attacks. Her training with Tsunade wasn't a walk in the park, as people soon found out with all the explosions rocking the training grounds and huge craters appearing under their feet. This was to be a hard lesson he had to hammer into Naruto's head. After all, the blond had totally disregarded Kakashi's lessons he had drilled into them as genin; look underneath the underneath.
Underestimating the pinkette was something only true idiots would ever do and he needed to learn now that she wasn't to be trifled with. 'Looks like it's time for a refresher; Kakashi style.'
He watched as a particularly large boulder hurtled towards the pinkette, catching Naruto's eyes widening to the size of dinner plates as she met it head on. He uncovered his sharingan and watched as she channeled chakra into her fist, pulled back and thrust it into the center, making it explode into a shower of ink around her. The ensuing ink falling into Naruto's eyes, making him stumble and leaving an opening for the pinkette as she surged through the gap and cleared the ledge, landing into a crouch at Kakashi's feet. A smug smile on her face moments before a scowling faced Naruto pulled himself over and collapsed on his back breathing hard, ink still across his face.
"I believe the score stands 2-0 Naruto. Last time to back out," Sakura announced, baring her white teeth in a wide smile.
"Haa haa haa," He panted loudly. "Never! Ha ha! I'll take anything you can dish out, believe it!" He shouted pumping his fist into the air for emphasis.
Sai, Kakashi and Sakura all rolled their eyes, meeting each others gazes, a silent conversation passed between the three before Kakashi relented. "Alright Naruto, one more challenge just to humor you. But, if you fail the consequences will be dire," Letting the blonds imagination fill in the rest.
The group moved into a large clearing, stopping at the tree line as Kakashi motioned with his hand for a halt. Curious eyes watched the Copy Nins every move, brows furrowing in confusion as he began doing his Whack-a-mole jutsu multiple times, in different places.
"Since Kakashi-sensei is busy prepping the battlefield, it's up to me to explain your last challenge," Sai informed them, drawing their attention to him for a minute.
"For this one you will be in the middle of the field, back to back, but still far enough away from each other to allow for movement. You will each be given a cache of weapons, kunai, shuriken, and senbon to utilize as you see fit. The object of this challenge is to hit the targets I will be sending up through the holes in the ground. The more you hit the better your score, though there is a catch. Kakashi-sensei will send out, at random, clones of yourselves and if you hit them points are automatically deducted from your score." He paused, watching to see if they understood the instructions, focusing mainly on Naruto. He didn't earn the nickname knuckle-headed ninja from coincidence after all.
"While Sai is preoccupied with sending out ink projectiles, I will be sitting on the sidelines to of course send out the clones, but also to keep track of both your scores with my Sharingan," Kakashi interrupted, sauntering over to the group. Both Sakura and Naruto peered over his shoulder at the multitude of holes littering the grounds, their mouths dropping open. The ground looked more like a block of swiss cheese then a field and Sakura cringed hoping Tsunade didn't catch wind of who did the damage.
'The man sure doesn't do anything halfway, does he?' Sakura mused, shaking her head in amusement.
"Time limit is five minutes. Now, to the center of the holes with you two so we can get this started," Kakashi continued, giving each a little push to get their butts moving.
The ground was so littered with holes that to try and walk out there would risk breaking their ankles, so each took a chakra filled leap and landed smoothly in the middle. Spotting the weapons at their feet, they each took braces of kunai, shuriken and senbon, making sure to strap them tightly, but also needing to know they could access them with ease. Eyes meeting, they turned from each other, putting a few feet between them and crouched low giving the signal they were ready and waiting. Sai had situated himself on the highest tree branch he could find and started inking out several small animals, each running down the tree trunk into a hole at the roots. She tilted her head in contemplation til it came to her.
'That hole must be connected to all the others.'
Sakura tensed her muscles, flooding the chakra to the muscles in her limbs in order to be able to throw the weapons as fast as possible. She smirked, Kakashi had never said anything about not using chakra to help.
"Shadow clone jutsu!" She heard a moment before she felt two more of Naruto's chakra signals pop into existence and frowned. She should have known he'd use his favorite jutsu. Seems he's more devious than she gave him credit for, turning her head to the side and peered at him finding three fox-like grins looking back.
"Good luck Sakura-chan," Each clone said at the same time.
'God, it's Naruto in stereo, one is enough!'
"Save it for yourself Naruto, you're gonna need it," She snapped back.
"Ok, on my count you two," Kakashi interrupted the two before the taunting went any further, pushing his hitai-ate up, uncovering a spinning sharingan.
"3, 2...1 GO!" All at once, chaos erupted all around the clearing making Sakura dizzy for a second, before shaking her head and sending some senbon flying at three ink animals with a flick of her wrist. From the shouts behind her she could tell Naruto was giving it his all, spurring her into moving faster. Her hands becoming blurs. Only the whizzing of the weapons flying through the air, followed by the splash of the ink, any indication she was moving at all. A suspiciously familiar head of blond hair popped into view making her hesitate, wishing she could give that grinning clone a kunai to chew on, but she passed over it, concentrating on the other targets leaping out. Though still sorely tempted to turn that clone into a pin cushion as it thumbed its nose at her.
A loud yell of "Dammit," Echoed three times behind her, made her smile stretch further, laughter bubbling up in her chest. Apparently, Naruto hadn't thought to actually look at the targets before aiming, making her job so much easier.
'Ahhh sweet, sweet revenge, I can taste it.'
Expelling a breath, she drew deep from her reserves, forcing more chakra into her already exhausted limbs, determined to get this over with as fast as possible.
'I will win this, I will!' Sakura repeated in her mind like a mantra, pushing herself to the limit. Counting down the minutes in her head, Sakura calculated the trajectory of every weapon flying through her fingers hitting precisely where she predicts. Coming down to ten seconds she hesitates when Kakashi sent a huge wave of clones through the holes in hopes of tripping one or both of them up. She smiled hearing the swearing of the blond behind her knowing he had most likely hit every one of them, wondering how much damage he did to his score.
"Time," Kakashi shouted, signaling the end of the challenge. She knew he had to have gotten quite the score with the help from his two clones, but she wasn't worried. Sakura had made up for that and more by her chakra filled arms. Now to wait and see what the verdict was, she panted from exertion and straightened out from her battle crouch, stretching the muscles in her legs that had begun to shake with fatigue. Hearing two pops, Sakura turned a bit to see Naruto had dismissed his clones and was busy wiping the sweat that had accumulated on his brow. He gave her his best grin and a thumbs up as they both turned towards their former sensei waiting with baited breath.
Kakashi stood there for a few minutes in contemplation, wondering who would break first from the anticipation. '3,2,1...'
"Come on Kakashi-sensei! Out with it already!" Naruto shouted at the lazy jounin.
'Yup, saw that coming a mile away,' The Copy Nin smiled and shook his head. 'Oh Naruto, so very predictable' Lifting his hand, he covered his still spinning sharingan, and regarded the two in front of him. Both were sweaty, and breathing hard, good indicators they had gotten a good workout.
Spotting the impatient look in Sakura's eyes, he relented. "Ok, both of you were going strong there for a while and the result was really close. That is, until that last wave of clones that Naruto failed to see." His gaze landing on the blond as Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.
"So in this case, Sakura-chan is the winner making the score 3-0. And with that in mind, do you have anything to say Naruto?" Kakashi arched a brow expectantly at the blond, wondering if he would have to prod the words out of him.
Lowering his head he managed to mumble out, "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, boys aren't better than girls. I shouldn't have said that."
Smiling victoriously, Sakura patted him on the head in a most condescending fashion. "Just as long as you don't say anything so stupid again. Now let's go get some food hmm?"
"Ichiraku? Awesome!" He shouted, walking beside Kakashi and Sakura to his most favorite place in the whole world.
Turning back Sakura located the artist still in the tree. "Sai? You coming?"
He waved a hand idly back. "No thank you, I'll catch up with you guys later."
"You did good today Sakura-chan, I'm proud of you," Kakashi congratulated the pinkette, effectively making her blush. She was about to reply when she heard a mumble, stopping her in her tracks.
"Yeah, well at least I can still make more clones than her."
Kakashi's eye widened a fraction of a second before having to sidestep a blond missile streaking across the village. The wail trailing behind the projectile until he was nothing more than a speck on the horizon. The Jounin hummed thoughtfully and shook his head. 'Yup, he will never learn.'
Tilting her head to the side, Sakura studied the fast moving object. "Ya know Kakashi-sensei, he is right about one thing boys seem to do better than girls."
The Copy Nin regarded her for a second and turned back to the boy currently doing a fair impression of a bird. "And what would that be Sakura-chan?"
A lopsided smile appeared on her face. "They seem to get more air time."
AN: A bit of a collaboration between me and one of my betas Kunoichi-Shea