November 2003

DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I don't own Escaflowne. We've covered this people!! I DON"T LIKE BEING SUED!!!!!

Read on.

All I Need

By Youjibaracuda

*~~*Chapter 22*~~*

Intense ruby colored eyes stared at her from by the window.

She was looking out, as she often did now, her dark brown hair cascading around her shoulders. Her eyes were glassy and lost out in the horizon, but a sparkle had returned to the green depths that had not existed before.

She was not yet aware of being watched, nor that the person watching her had stepped into the room and was slowly moving towards her with a hesitant step.

It wasn't until they were standing right beside her did she break from her reverie and turn only to have her green eyes lock with ruby ones.

"Hello," she managed through her surprise.

"Hello," came the answer.

There was a pause.

"Do you know that you look like my mother?"

The other blanched. "Excuse me?"

"You do! You even sound like her! That's so funny!" giggled the four year old Varie Fanel.

The woman before her couldn't help but let the corners of her mouth pull upwards. "Is there something I could help you with, your highness?"

Varie wrinkled her nose at the title. "I hate it when people call me that. It sounds so stuffy."

Her companion couldn't help but laugh. "You sound like your father. Then would you prefer that I call you by your given name?"

Varie nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please. It's Varie, by the way."

She did a little curtsy, like she had been taught to do by her Aunt Merle. "What's your name?"

There was a bit of hesitation. "You can call me Iri, Miss Varie."

"Iri," the little girl played with the name on her tongue. Then she smiled. "It's such a pretty name!"

"Thank you very much, Miss Varie," Iri answered with a soft smile. "Now, what brings you here to my room?"

Varie looked down sheepishly, playing with the black end of her braided hair. "Well, I was curious. I heard Mother and Father talking about someone up here in this part of the castle. Usually there's no one here, so…"

She blushed a little. "My brothers said that there was an old witch here from the Mystic Moon."

Iri nearly laughed. She wasn't sure whether to be amused that Van's children were afraid of her, or to be offended that they thought she was an old witch. She glanced over at her reflection in the vanity mirror in her room. Blood-shot, puffy eyes, her naturally pale skin looking ghostly against the blackness of her dress. She supposed she did look pretty horrible.

"So did they dare you to come up here?" she asked.

Varie's blush deepening answered her question.

"Well, I'll tell you what, Miss Varie," she said, resting her hands on the little girl's shoulders and peering into her little face, willing away a the pang she felt when she saw the resemblance to her father, "You can tell your brothers that you found the 'old witch' and that she taught you an old Mystic Moon hex to place on them if they were ever mean to you."

Varie's eyes lit up instantly, and she grinned from ear to ear, earning the small child a place in Iri's heart, despite her origins.

It was right then that she realized just how much she'd missed having seen her own son grow up. The melodrama that was her life had been to cruel to her, and she only could feel the sadness and pity of a life snuffed out before it could even begin.

She prayed to the heavens that she could see this little girl to live the rest of her life in a better world, much like she could have wanted Ehli to have lived in that world.

No longer would she sit around feeling sorry for herself, crying over what was and what could never be.

She had to be strong.

And she would be.

~~**~~

Van had only really spoken to her briefly, when they ran into each other in the training room. She was panting slightly, having just finished practicing, her sword gripped easily in her hand. She'd explained to him that she'd always been agile with it, but now she believed she had real skill and was ashamed that she'd spent all her time moping around.

He hadn't known what to say to her really.

So she simply threw him a small smile and walked away.

Time, he realized, is what they would need. Things would never be the same between them again, but he was surprisingly glad about it. There were no more secrets between them, nothing to keep them emotionally apart. She would just need to heal, and that would happen with time.

He was more than willing to wait until she was ready.

And then? Well, when that time came, he'd figure something out.

So when he found a small note from her waiting for him in his study, he'd been completely surprised.

The south gardens. Dusk.

He was there when she had asked him to be, standing with her back to him in the clearing, watching the Mystic Moon rise in the coming night sky.

"I wanted to thank you," she said, sensing his presence. Her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it before.

He came to stand beside her and she turned to look at him.

"You don't need to thank me," he told her.

"Yes, I do," she insisted, "I don't think that there's anyone who could have possibly gone through everything that you've been put through with as much…"

"Shh," Van interrupted her, placing a finger to her lips gently. "Don't make me into a martyr, please. I'm hardly a saint. There's so much I've put you through, that I can't even begin to apologize for."

She sighed and smiled a little, something she hadn't done in a long time. "Then how about we just agree that we're both sorry?"

"Sounds good to me," Van answered.

There was silence for a moment before she spoke again.

"I was meaning to ask you something."

"What?"

"Well…" she brought her eyes to his, "Are you ever sorry that things happened the way they did?"

Van didn't answer right away, thinking about her question. He'd asked himself the same thing sometimes, more often as of late.

He held her gaze as he answered truthfully, "Sometimes. But more often than not: no."

She nodded. "I know what you mean."

As much as she would have loved to make a life with Van, if she had it would have meant on missing out of the many good things that had happened in her life. She would have never met her friends, the people that were so important in her life at the moment. She would have never met Mohku, and Ehli would never have existed. She was sure that Van felt the same way about his own children. They wouldn't be here if things had been different.

She knew that both of them wouldn't give all that up for the chance to go back and do it over again.

Van was then fully realizing just how close together they were standing. He looked over her attire. She had thankfully gotten out of the black dress she had been wearing these past weeks. Now she had on a simple white blouse with black pants, her mourning sash securely around her waist. Her wedding ring was dangling from a thin golden chain.

Van brought his hands to her face, not being able to resist not touching her now that they were alone together. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and lightly traced the scar on her forehead before running his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheeks.

She had closed her eyes, willingly leaning into his touch. She could feel the heat coming from his body, oh so close to hers, feel his breathing on her face, his heartbeat, strong and steady beneath her hands as they traveled up his chest.

His first kiss on her forehead was feather light, just like the ones he then placed gently on her cheeks. Their lips met, mixing with tenderness, leaving out everything else that was between them but the purest kind of love.

They pulled away from the kiss, their foreheads still touching, enjoying for a moment each other's presence.

Van smiled a bit, thankful that after everything that had happened, what was between them hadn't changed. In fact, it might have even come through stronger than ever.

"I'm so glad to have you here again," he said softly.

This was it, the moment ad come.

Suddenly, she felt there wasn't enough air in her lungs, her throat constricting around the words she knew she had to force out anyway.

"I have to go," she barely managed to whisper, steeping back from him.

Van's crestfallen expression nearly broke her heart.

"What?" he asked, hoping he'd heard wrong.

"I can't stay," she told him, tears forming in her eyes. Why was she always doing this? She knew how much it hurt to be left behind. So why was it that she always had to be the one to say good-bye?

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice nearly breaking.

She didn't reply, but looked down the ground.

"You're leaving?" he asked. "How…Why…?" Van couldn't even form the questions running in his mind.

"That's why I asked you to come out here," she explained. "To tell you that I'm leaving."

"Why?" he asked.

"You know why, Van. I can't do this to you. We can't…" her words fell away as tears threatened to choke her. She angrily fought them down. She had promised herself she wouldn't fall apart.

"Your family…I know what it feels like. My father left my mother for some other woman. I don't want to wish that on your family," she continued. "And I know you couldn't do that to them either. It isn't fair, it isn't right. And…as much as I know we both want this to work, it can't. Not right now. Not the way things are."

Van frowned, ready to fight her on this, but something in her gaze stopped him. He felt the lump form in his throat, successfully stopping all his arguments.

She was right and he knew it. He'd never be able to betray his family like that, no matter how much he would want to. But if she stayed, it wouldn't be long before he'd end up doing exactly that. She was just making it easier for everyone by leaving.

"When will you be back?" he finally managed to ask.

She bit her lip, looking away from him. "I'm not sure."

Van nodded slowly, slipping his hand into hers, hoping with that gesture to keep her next to him.

He sighed slowly, wishing with all that was in him that this wasn't really happening, that he wasn't willingly letting her go again.

"I don't want to lose you again," he told her.

"You never lost me. And you never will."

She stepped close to him again. "You won't ever lose me because I'm here," she said, laying her hand over his heart. "And nothing's going to change that."

He pulled her into his arms, holding onto her tightly, not wanting to let go.

"You're in my heart, Van. You always have been," she told him, tears now slipping past her eye lashes and down her cheeks. "You always will be."

She forced a smile upon her lips. "Besides, if you want to reach me," she continued, fingering the pink pendant that still hung around his neck, "You know how to reach me."

Van took both her hands in his and held them against his heart.

"I don't know how you do it," he told her, "How you can be so strong after everything…"

She shook her head, and said nothing, not trusting her voice at the moment.

Van raised his eyes to hers once more, wanting to make sure she felt what he said next.

"I love you."

She smiled and leaned in, gently touching her lips with his while breaking free of his hold.

Backing away, she smiled at him through her tears.

"That's all I need."

The breeze blew softly as the last of the sun's light disappeared completely from the sky, the light of the stars and the twin moons being the new source of light.

She would still stare up at the Mystic Moon, a small sigh escaping her lips, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

Time heals all wounds.

So now all she had to do was wait.

"Iri-sama?" Ero touched her shoulder.

She turned to look at her second in command and the rest of her friends watching her from behind him.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

'I'll talk to you later, Van.'

'Okay. Be careful.'

'Aren't I always? …I love you.'

'I love you too. See you soon.'

"Let's go, Ero," she said, mounting on her mare and riding away.

~~~**owari**~~~~

Baracuda here. *in complete shock* Wow!! I finished!!! I really finished!!!!

Well, sort of.

See, for all of you who want a refreshing change from the conventional V/H, then this is the end. That's it. Leave a review and go home. ^_^ thanks for reading.

However, since a lot of you are *really* into the conventional V/H (and let's face it, so am I), then for you there's more!!!!

No, not a sequel. Sorry. I'm writing an epilogue which will be the last thing that I write for this fic because I do *not* have the time/energy/desire to write a sequel. So you guys are going to have to deal with it. Okay? Okay. Look for it sometime this month.

Once again, the hugest THANK YOU on the planet for reading my little sorry attempt at fanfiction (I never had a beta. ;_;). I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me. *sniff* you guys are the best. And I'd like to thank the academy…

Oops. Wrong speech.

Seriously, though, you guys have to idea what this has taken out of me and I truly, truly appreciate your support. You guys make it all worthwhile.

My first reviewers!

Equinox; Lady of the Ink; Illicit Water Dragon; silver sea star; Cous-cous; Maureen; Avaris Sky; Questionable Lies

My loyal readers!

RiverDolphin; Tydepul; Sailor Hope; Speaker Of The Spirits; CraZKitty; sippio; angelwings; snow blossoms; Galene; The Reader is Now Blind; [email protected]

My biggest fans!

Equinox

Lady of the Ink

Inda

silver sea star

MabaroshiTsuki

Sakura-chan

And most importantly, the biggest thank you in the world goes to FierySable, for without her nagging/pushing/threatening/and all-in-all loyal and *patient* support I was finally able to finish this fic. I WUBBA JOOOOO!!!!!! \^o^/ feel the love, darn you!!!!

There. The end.

And the peasants rejoice.

--Youjibaracuda

"Stop, stop."

"What?"

"They're kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part?"

"Someday, you may not mind so much."

--The Princess Bride