A/N: I swear to god I hate the document manager right now. I had to rewrite, unblock, and pretty much rewrite the entire last half of the story so I apologize if I missed anything, feel free to point it out. God I wanted to punch something. Anyway, this is my first Naruto one-shot story and as I was checking up on the Naruto FF I started to realize something. I'm running out of shit I want to read, so I decided to take a crack at Naruto. Keep in mind I'm not a hardcore Naruto fan so I may make a few mistakes. With that being said, on with the story leave a review if you enjoyed!

Uzumaki Naruto was bored. Usually this would mean horrible things for the villagers of the hidden leaf village with pranks galore and everybody was fair game. But that years ago. Now when Naruto was bored he would think, though his friends would laugh at the idea, he had taken to doing a lot of it lately. His preferred location had been quickly chosen on top of his father's head. Though sometimes sneaking away from his Anbu guard was sometimes difficult, he usually was able to get away for as long as he deemed necessary, today was not one of those days.

The audible sound of a shunshin announced the presence of his most stubborn guard managing to find him.

"Hokage-sama, you mustn't wander off without informing us." The Anbu said, his deep voice and large build confirming he was male.

"Oh relax, what do I have to fear anymore? Remember Crow, there are no more hostilities between villages. The most I have to worry about is a missing nin. I don't believe one could have snuck into the village and got all the way to me before I noticed." Naruto responded with a laidback attitude. His trademark grin being flashed towards the man, drawing a tired sigh from the man.

"Hokage-sama I understand your point, but it is my job to ensure you safety and to protect your flames of youth! But perhaps you may tell me why you always wander off." Though he was forced to mature greatly and quickly on the battlefield with the death of his teammate and the near death of his sensei, Rock Lee never dropped his youth stage from his vocabulary, causing Naruto to sweat drop.

"Come on bushy brows, please stop talking about youth with your mask on. It feels terribly wrong when you do." Naruto answered casting a demeaning glance towards Lee without getting up from laying on the ground.

"Yosh! Then away with my mask." Quickly enough to be disturbing the mask hiding the bowl cut and giant eyebrows from the world was gone. Placed into a combat pouch all Anbu were commissioned to wear.

"God dammit Lee."

"You still haven't answered me. Or do you wish to not tell me?"

"For now Lee, I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it about Sasuke-Kun?" Though most of the Konoha twelve had given up on becoming friends with the Uchiha, Naruto still insisted he would be buried as a true Konoha shinobi. For that Lee was able to be respectable to his dear friend. The fact he sacrificed himself to stop Zetzu and Madara was what warmed most of them back up to the cold Uchiha.

"No. Believe it or not Sasuke's death didn't bother me as much as people would believe. It's about something else. Something a little more personal and when I think I have it resolved I'll tell you. Let's head back if you want to so badly. Ramen?" Naruto said, getting up and extending the offer of what Naruto had called the meal between dinner and lunch.

"No Hokage-sama, I must politely refuse."

"Ah, then will I see you later at the wedding?"

"Yes Hokage-sama, but you can technically request to see me at any moment you wish. If you really intend to be at Ichiraku's then I will take my leave. May you flames-" Naruto stopped Lee's sentence with a simple gesture of his hand.

"If your next words were going to be "flames of youth" I'm gonna sock you." Even though Lee knew he was stronger than Naruto in the Taijutsu area, he was still uncertain about facing the Hokage in an all-out ninja duel.

"Oh-uh l-look at the time! Gotta go!" With that Lee shunshinned away from the top of the hokage monument.

Naruto sighed and laid back down staring back at the clouds, trying to get some kind of advice on his predicament. His predicament? How to release the Kyuubi, or Kurama as it like to be called, without killing himself. He did not know one person smart enough or talented in Fuinjutsu enough to even begin tampering with the Reaper Death Seal. Last time didn't end up very well.

'I'm an Uzumaki right? Isn't this shit supposed to be in my blood? I suppose I could use my shadow clones to start figuring this stuff out. But then I'd have to explain why the Hokage suddenly needed to know everything about Fuinjutsu and why there were five hundred Hokages in a single training field and I don't think people would be very accepting of releasing Kurama.'

'You call?'

'Oh sorry Kurama, I didn't mean to bug you.'

'You were thinking out loud again.'

'Oh…you heard that huh? Oh well, I was planning on asking you something about it sometime soon anyway.'

'I'm content with waiting for you to pass naturally. After all, you did teach me a few things.'

'Oh? Pray tell.'

'Well, maybe not teach. More like prove me wrong on something I've had centuries to witness firsthand. I truly didn't believe it was possible for you idiotic humans to achieve peace like you have.'

'I'm worried about something else too.'

'Hmm?'

'Just the fact that this peace I worked so hard to achieve won't last very long.'

'Let me say something, humans have a basic nature to conquer others. To rule absolutely. I believe that as long as the Kage system is maintained; peace will be maintained.'

'You think so?'

'I believe so Naruto…do you truly intend to keep your promise to me? I do not wish for my first friend in centuries to kill himself for my sake.'

'Don't talk like that you stupid fox. Everytime you call me your friend, I hate to be a dick, but I feel you don't mean it.'

'Hey, where did that come from? You have your panties in a bunch or something? No need to be a dick.'

'Don't play innocent bystander with me. Ever since I became a sage I've only gotten better at feeling people's emotions. You don't truly mean friend. I can sense it.'

'Look at you, I try to be nice to you and you get like this. Fine, I don't consider mortals to be my friends. No matter how much they try.'

'Why? I'd be your friend if you wouldn't be so distant with me.'

'You don't know what my life is like do you? You know that my only friend died from old age while I don't age a day. While it may be nice at first to be friendly with people, it only brings me pain. Did you think I was always this distant? How much do you actually know about me? I'm not upset with you, after all you couldn't have known this.'

How much did he really know about the Kyuubi? He knew its name was Kurama, it was immortal, and it really didn't like most people.

'Fuck, I really don't know dick about you. I guess it makes sense why you don't make friends with people. Then consider this a promise!'

'Naruto…'

'I Naruto Uzumaki, The Rokudaime Hokage of the Village Hidden In the Leaves, accomplisher of the impossible!'

'Naruto!'

'I will make you be my friend! I think the first place to start would be to get you out of me!'

'NARUTO!' For the first time in their conversation, the Kyuubi had yelled and stopped Naruto's famous one-track mind.

'We cannot ever truly be friends.'

'Oh come on Kurama. I know having friends like that would suck but look at my life. I've lost a lot of people who were close to me and there was nothing I could do about it. It's just a fact of life. But look at me.'

'What of you?'

'I want to be friends with you.'

'You are serious aren't you?'

'Absolutely.'

'Hmph, then good luck.' The Kyuubi then receded back into the depths of Naruto's mind, back to where it was allowed to truly think without the blond knucklehead being able to hear.

"Naruto…you are an ass."

A Month Later

"This thing is airtight. The only bloody flaw is a failsafe of its own." Naruto sighed in exasperation in his room. Even as Hokage he was modest, living only with the essentials and giving the Hokage mansion to the homeless a tradition he would set by complete accident that every future Hokage would follow.

'You are truly stubborn. But I should have guessed. You've always been stubborn.' It was stubborn in its own right, the Kyuubi. Naruto, in a month's time, had been able to pry two details out of the fox. One, it was beginning to dream of eating him and two being the Kyuubi's actual age.

"I can barely alter the seal without instant suicide. Maybe…"

'*sigh* Maybe what?'

'I think if I release the seal bit by bit like back when I was on the training trip with pervy sage it may work.'

'Might what work.'

'If I understand the seal right, what kills the user upon release is the massive influx of foreign bijuu chakra straight into my coils. So if you don't try and force everything out immediately it should work.'

'You understand I have near infinite chakra right. You yourself have strong coils and a very large amount of chakra. But the chakra flowing through my paw could rupture your coils.'

'Dammit…how much chakra do you have when it comes in terms of manpower?'

'Are you seriously intending to split me into thousands of different bits and release all at once?'

'Yeah, why?'

'You have five thousand Jounin?'

'God dammit. Maybe if all the elemental nations give me their death row inmates. Maybe I would have a thousand people but five thousand? There was only thirty thousand shinobi left after the war!'

'Didn't think so.'

'Oh my god I got it!'

'Really?'

'Yes I do! If I make a seal that can hold a large amount of chakra Than I could split you up that way. What do you think?'

'That might work. But what will the people think if you release me? Since you are a sage you should know they are still weary of me and you.'

'I know but maybe you are more important to me than a bunch of asshole villagers.'

'Naruto what do you mean?'

'Duh. I think of you as one of my precious people. I told you that a long time ago.'

'Then why did you get angry at me when I called you my friend?'

'Because I knew you didn't mean it. That's all that really bothers me about you.'

The Kyuubi reared its head back and let out a loud and very rarely heard belly laugh.

'You want to be my friend so bad? Maybe Uzumaki, maybe I might let you be.'

Naruto didn't answer, all he did was grin hugely and adjust the headband on his head before exhaustion reared its ugly head and said he should sleep. The loud snoring of the Hokage kept up his downstairs neighbor terribly that night. As he had every night.

'Sleep well Naruto. You truly are an interesting human. Perhaps you are right…maybe I can be friendly with humans again, but you better be prepared to prove it.' The Kyuubi slept well that night as well.

Two Weeks Later

It had taken two weeks for Naruto to acquire the absolutely fucking absurd amount of sealing tags and to make the Fuinjutsu seal to free the Kyuubi and to set up the just as absurd sealing array and how they had to be placed.

'Ready?'

'Yeah, go for it.'

With the green light Naruto pushed chakra to his stomach and to the tips of his fingers and did what his sensei had tried to do, he loosened the seal on his stomach. Almost immediately he could feel the Kyuubi's chakra flood his body and begin to cloud his mind. Before his mind was too foggy from the feral chakra Naruto placed his chakra laden fingers of both his hands on to the five point seals to each of his side. The black ink markings all around him began to glow red as the Kyuubi's chakra flooded through them and into the sealing tags. It was s surprisingly painful process but Naruto was anything but a stranger to pain and he pushed through the three hour process. And almost as quickly as the pain started it stopped.

'Kurama? Nothing, stomach? Nothing. I hope this works.'

Naruto brought his suddenly heavy hands together and released the seals holding Kurama's chakra all at once.

"Release!" He then flared his chakra and the last thing he remembered before he passed out was a lot of red chakra pooling together.

A Few Hours Later

"Holy fuck, and I thought sake induced hangovers were bad." Naruto said with a hand to his head trying to lessen the extreme headache he was suddenly afflicted with.

"What was I doing?" Naruto put his hand under his chin to help him think.

"I must truly thank you, Naruto." Said a voice that was unmistakable to his ears.

"Kurama! It worked! Where are you?" He said, getting up and looking around somewhat desperately. All of his searching didn't prepare him for the sight of this woman being the only one present and her easily apparent beauty.

"Who are you? And why are you dressed up as one of my Anbu?" Let it be known to all that don't know, Uzumaki Naruto was the densest motherfucker to live since the Shodai Hokage, and even then it was a close competition.

"I can't honestly expect you to recognize my appearance. But I thought you would at least recognize my voice." Though the clothing was mostly hiding her features, they were apparent enough to somewhat show through the armor. With her blood red hair, that went just past her shoulders, being the one thing he could clearly see. A drive deep inside him nearly demanded to see what she truly looked like. This drive would be known later as his penis.

Removing the mask, the Kyuubi placed it inside the pouch she had stolen off some poor woman, it showed Naruto her piercing fiery red eyes and the whisker marks that were identical to his adorning her heart shaped face. Her breast, restrained as they were, showed to be anywhere from a small C-cup or small D-cup. She was also heavily muscled, almost as much as himself, and appeared to be as tall or taller than himself as well standing at a good six feet.

"K-Kurama? You're a woman?" Naruto's agape mouth spoke his surprise better than his words were capable of.

"Yes, I thought these would say that quite well." She said grabbing her breasts to prove, if it weren't already obvious, who 'these' were.

"B-but deep voice, big scary teeth, giant paws, malevolency, other masculine things…Naruto confused." Naruto said, his mind unable to realize so many things at once he referred to himself in third person. The fact that the voice she used in her giant fox form was coming from her clearly female mouth, was confusing even more.

His struggles brought a small smile to Kurama's face. "Relax Naruto, would it be easier if I spoke like this?" Suddenly her voice sounded like an actual female voice, it was just as enchanting as a goddess's.

"Less…confusing. How did you change your voice? Have you always, uh, been a girl?"

"Can we talk more in private? Preferably where there is a large amount of ramen?"

'Dear god I think in love.'

At Ichiraku's

Sakura would always be baffled at how Naruto could eat a seemingly infinite amount of ramen. But now out of nowhere there is this woman who is giving Naruto a run for his money. It was truly a sight to see with mountains made of bowls of licked clean ramen stacked between the two of them.

"NEXT!" The two said in unison, with the cooks working overtime to feed the two.

The ability of the Hokage to eat abhorrent amounts of ramen was a well-known fact among the village. But it was not known anyone could match the Kage. Especially when they hiraishinned inside the now multi story restaurant, courtesy of Naruto giving large amounts of money to the family, and suddenly he declared a ramen off and Ayame had alerted her father and a great battle had begun. With Naruto's black and orange Hokage cloak flapping dramatically.

"Sakura, who is that woman?" Ino Yamanaka, Sakura's childhood friend, rival, and friend once again, asked.

"I don't know. But I will when they decide to stop putting food into their mouths." Sakura responded honestly. The only thing she recognized on the woman were her Anbu clothes and the whisker marks identical to Naruto's.

"NEXT!" Again they yelled in unison pushing the bowls farther apart and adding to the mountain.

"Fifty ryo on the chick." Ino said.

"Oh you are on." Sakura confidently responded.

"NEXT!"

One Ramen Off Later

Sakura would always wonder how she lost those fifty ryo. The mysterious woman had managed to edge out Naruto when he suddenly coughed and she gained a bowl lead, ending the score fifty to fifty one.

'Scratch that, I am in love.' The fact He had been out eaten didn't bother him as much as the fact he would be bankrupt with the amount of ramen he had just ate and would soon have to pay for.

"Let's get out of here now. My hunger is sated for the moment. I can't believe you got me addicted to this." Though she said for the moment, by the bulge her stomach had formed it would be awhile before she was hungry again.

"Hang on, I have to pay." Naruto said, careful to avoid saying her name in public.

"Just make her do it." Kurama said, pointing to the only pink haired shinobi in the restaurant.

"Wait what?" Sakura said in pure shock. Paying this bill would foreclose her home!

"Good idea. Sakura you got this right?" Naruto said looking at Sakura and smiling his trademark grin. Before hiraishining out to who knows where.

"Mam, the bill." Absentmindedly she grabbed the piece of paper that would make her homeless and stopped breathing when she read how much she now had to pay.

"NARUTOOOO!" She yelled. Back at his home Naruto could feel his harbinger of death hunting him down.

Naruto's House Not Even Five Minutes Later

"Kurama, protect me!" There was an almost pitiable terror in Naruto's voice as he quivered behind the stoic women who had dragged him into this situation.

"Why should I?" The demoness asked, slightly uncaring if Naruto was beaten to a pulp.

The smashing and cracking of the door seemed almost rhythmic as body after body was flung into it with enough force to crack it more and more.

"Because it was your idea…ahh! She's here!" With Naruto's shivers of terror stopping him from moving, the door was no match for an already immensely strong calm woman, who was pissed to say the least, and it was launched, almost blown, off its hinges towards the two. With a convoy of death simply there to murder Naruto slowly and painfully, with a small army of Anbu moaning in pain, behind it.

"I suppose it was my fault wasn't it?" She said while dismissively punching the door and reducing it to dust.

"Naruto, get out from behind the innocent lady and…wait I suppose this is your fault too. Isn't it?" Sakura said nearly foaming at the mouth, and her eye visibly twitching in half suppressed anger.

"Yes, but I'm afraid if you wish to hurt Naruto I believe you will have to get through me first." Naruto's eyes widened at the implications of what was about to happen.

Sakura was about to get her ass kicked and Naruto was too much of a gentleman to let that happen.

"Okay, listen there's no need to fight okay? Sakura listen to me before, BEFORE, you hit me okay?" Naruto had forced himself to push past Kurama and get between the two, nearly feuding women, and get Sakura to calm down. Emphasizing not to hit him after she had already taken a swing. He was even to scared to remember the honorific he always called her by.

"Listen, I'll pay for Ichiraku's. Just calm down all right?" He was pleading, half expecting to get punched and half expecting to get pulverized.

"You are doing two things. Pay for that ramen, and tell me who this person is. I'm not in the mood for games." Sakura all but demanded, she still demanded it.

"I can tell you who I am easily. I am his cousin, and before you ask yes the whiskers run in the family. So does the ramen addiction."

"Yeah, I haven't seen her in a while and I thought I would treat her to something special since it has been so long." Naruto said, having to give it to Kurama for coming up with that on the spot.

"What? Naruto, when did you meet this woman? I've known you since the academy days and I never saw you talk to this woman before. You never even mentioned her." This cousin stuff was smelling awfully fishy.

"I met him on the training trip he took with the pervert. I told him not to mention me because I was on the run from Iwa at the time and there were still Iwa spies in Konoha back then. I came today because I missed him and I heard about the great shinobi alliance and I thought I could finally see him again." Sometimes Kurama even surprised herself with her bullshit skills, which were at l33t levels.

The story made sense and Sakura couldn't poke any holes in her story. There had been Iwa spies in Konoha while Tsunade was Hokage, but it didn't sit right with her. The woman's body language didn't say she was all that excited to be here. Almost like she really wanted to leave, needed, to leave. But Naruto had never lied to her before and he was giving her no reason to believe he was now. He clearly saw this woman as a dear friend, but she was a total different can of worms.

Now that she thought about it, Minato and Kushina were only children. Did Naruto not know this? This woman was giving off to many bad signals for their story to be true. Not only that but this woman seemed way stronger than she was letting on, something about this woman did not sit right with her.

It came much clearer to her when Sakura's arm pulsed painfully, the same way and in the same spot where Naruto had struck her with his tails while he was in bijuu mode. Was this woman…

"Hey Naruto, it's nice to meet some of your family and all, but I don't think she's being all that honest with you." Her suspicions were proven right when she caught the glance of Kurama's fist clenching awfully tight.

"What do you mean Sakura-chan?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say she, or better yet it, isn't your cousin but the Kyuubi-" It seems Sakura was cut off by the mystery woman who all but gave her the info she wanted and feared.

"Nothing gets past you does it? I'm surprised you were able to figure that out. Sorry about this Naruto." Suddenly, before even Naruto was able to react, Kurama appeared before Sakura and shunshinned away.

Naruto was only able to follow because he had placed Hiraishin seals on every ninja in the village in case something like this happened. If he hadn't Kurama would have killed Sakura before he could have done anything. He was only able to split the two of them apart because the hiraishin put him there, and forcing the Kyuubi to stop her attack before she ripped Naruto's head off.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Kurama! You can't just kill her!" He was more concerned about Kurama attempting to kill Sakura than he was about how Sakura herself had figured out that she was the Kyuubi.

"She knows I am the Kyuubi. I'm sorry Naruto but I will not be sealed again." Her clawed finger were only stopped by Naruto's hands making them stop.

"You won't be sealed again because I won't allow it! They'll have to kill me first!" His grip on her hands only tightened parallel to her expression changing into one of surprise. While his was one of hard determination.

"Naruto!" Sakura was unable to say anything else at his proclamation of refusing to reseal the Kyuubi.

"I mean it Sakura! She is important to me and I don't know why she doesn't understand that yet. No one, no matter who they are, hurt any my precious people without killing me first. If I'm not one of her precious people then I won't stop until I am!" He stared her straight in the eye as his expression only became more determined through his short speech.

"Naruto…I'm sorry." It took a moment but he released her arms and when he did they fell swiftly to her sides, which were quickly followed by her head as she looked down at the ground in shame.

"Naruto." Sakura half whispered into the blond's ear. "Are you sure you can trust the fucking Kyuubi no Kitsune?"

"With my life. You see, she hates to make relationships because she's immortal, and everyone she cares about dies around her while she doesn't age. She's only told me of one friend she's had and then she wore off them forever. I'm determined to change that." Confident in his explanation he was surprised when he looked back at Kurama to see her fighting back tears.

"What's wrong?" The sincerity in his voice would always bug her, but now that it was aimed at her, it infuriated her.

"Nothing, tell her everything why don't you." Why was this emotion, sadness, prevalent above everything else? She wasn't sure how to feel around Naruto anymore. She had felt anger and hatred for so long in order to push people away. Yet, he pushed back. Not with his own anger, like most, but with his determination and courage. Singlehandedly he had wiped the hatred away from her heart and that was what terrified her.

"Why are you crying?" Now it was no longer sincerity, it was worry as well.

"I'm not crying. Someone like me has no reason to cry." He was obviously lying, she did not cry. Why would she? She was immortal, incredibly powerful, and nothing could harm her.

"Yeah you are, there's a tear on you face now. Here." Quickly and gently, he placed a hand underneath her chin and brought her head up and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

"There, feel better?" He was flashing his trademark grin at the time, and it was so disarmingly comforting.

What was this accursed feeling in her chest and why was it so warm? Even though she didn't even think about it Kurama still answered. "Yes, thank you Naruto." This answer she would soon come to regret.

"Good, still not want to be friends?"

"Only if you promise not to leave me…" Yet even as she said it, she knew it would not end that way.

"You know I'll die one day. You have to accept that and just form new relationships as they come and go. Hell, you might even grow to love somebody. It's a fact of life that people die. Come on, let's head back into the village so you can be alone."

"But I don't want to be alone anymore…please just tell me, even if it's a lie, just tell me you won't leave me." It would be inevitable, once Naruto died she would close herself off again. No matter how much he didn't want her to.

"I…won't leave you." Saying a straight lie to her face felt like someone was twisting a kunai in his chest.

"Promise me." "Maybe he would keep this promise too. Even though not even she knew how to keep this promise.

"I promise Kurama, I won't leave you."

"Thank you, Naruto." Only now was she able to build up the courage to look into Naruto's eyes, rather than the dirt.

Back in Naruto's Hokage Office

Sakura had left during the heart to heart between Naruto and Kurama and replaced Naruto's door after he had paid off Ichiraku's. It had taken a little bit, but Kurama had been assured that Sakura wouldn't spill the secret.

"First things first, you need an apartment and a job. The job is easy but an apartment will be more difficult."

"Naruto, can I not just live with you?" It was a question but more of a statement.

"But this is a one bedroom apartment."

"I know, but I don't want to live away from you. I want to make the most of what little time we have."

"Well I suppose I could sleep on the couch until I get a second room installed, I can claim you're my girlfriend so people won't ask questions right?"

"I don't see any problems with that, just the couch part. I…want to sleep with you."

"Did you just ask if we could have sex?"

"Hmph, as if I would have relations of that kind with a human. I do have some standards. I just wish to spend more time with you, that's all." He didn't know why but the fact Kurama immediately shot down the idea of sleeping with him hurt a little bit.

"I guess there isn't any problem with that. By the way, where did you get those Anbu clothes?" He had meant to ask this question back when she first appeared but her request to go eat ramen had completely threw him off topic.

"I stole them from some purple haired woman. Don't worry, I stole others and replaced them before she noticed." The fact Kurama could come and go anywhere she wished and not get caught, was disturbing, even in the homes of his Anbu.

"Do you have any other clothes?"

"No, I've never really needed them. Remember, I've almost never spent an extended period of time in my human form."

"Then I guess you and Sakura can go shopping tomorrow if you want."

"Can we just go to bed? I'm tired. I'll spend all you money tomorrow."

"You sound like a kid."

A few moments later and the two of them were sleeping in the same bed. This small fact still bothering Naruto slightly because Kurama had all but got naked and his dick was going nuts. She even admitted to stealing the bra and panties from the same woman as well. Women wearing other women's clothes had been a secret turn on of his ever since he had convinced Sakura to wear Tsunade's old cloak for a day after he had appointed her as his secretary.

"Good night Kurama." It was clear she was already asleep, but Naruto, in all his gentleman powers, couldn't help but say it anyway.

One hour later and Naruto was still unable to fall asleep, staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head absentmindedly. He was a man of his word and he straight lied to Kurama's face. Why did he promise to never leave her? Was it even possible to artificially extend one's life span to that of immortal lengths? He had perhaps one option, he would have to contact Orochimaru. But this would prove to be difficult for after the war he had been slithering in the shadows. Unable to be found by any of the elemental nations unless he directly wanted to be found. He would think more on the subject tomorrow, sleep was finally rearing its head.

The Next Day

"I still don't understand why I must be buying this, lingerie, as you call it. I have no interest in wooing anybody in the bedroom." Kurama, at Naruto's request, was spending time with Sakura. They had already went and purchased multiple sets of clothes and underwear to match and now Sakura had dragged her to this sexy undergarments store and was insisting she buy it, or at least try it on.

"I told you already, Naruto is probably right, you might actually get feelings for somebody and this is just planning ahead." It definitely was weird taking the strongest bijuu in existence on a shopping spree, but hell they were both women and it wasn't their money so Sakura suggested they go all out, she was even in her Jounin clothes.

"I have a feeling you will be borrowing this before I ever use it."

"Well I doubt-" Kurama's accusing glare had brought her true intention to the forefront with an embarrassed shrug.

Quickly after the embarrassing purchase they had decided to take a break and explore the Uzumaki-Namikaze Park that had been built in Naruto's honor when he defeated Pain.

"Sakura, can I ask you a question?" They had sat on a park bench in order to relax, most of the park animals fearfully avoided being anywhere near Kurama.

"Sure."

"Do you love Naruto?"

"Where did that come from?"

"So you do?"

"No, I don't love him."

"Thank you."

"Why did you ask me that?"

"Curiosity. He has pined for your affection since childhood and I was just curious if he had succeeded." Truth be told Kurama hadn't meant to bring this subject up with Sakura directly, perhaps she was becoming attached to this woman as well.

"Well…uh I didn't flat out reject him yet. I'll give it to the idiot, if I hadn't known him since we were kids I doubt I wouldn't be with him right now. Considering he didn't fall for anyone else of course." Even though Sakura considered herself beautiful, mostly thanks to Naruto's constant flirting, she knew in the looks department, that plenty of women surpassed her. Current company included.

"So you may actually care deeper for him then you think?" It was less of a question and more of a statement. Over the millennia she had been alive, reading deeper into people became almost second nature. Why did it bother her if Sakura loved Naruto? Was this Jealousy? Why would she be Jealous? Perhaps beating up Naruto would make her feel better, it certainly seemed to make Sakura feel better.

"Trust me, if I loved Naruto I'm pretty sure I would have realized it by now. I sometimes think about him that way, but then I feel wrong somehow. So I don't think it'll ever happen…unless I get really drunk."

"I see. This conversation seemed to give me less insight than I wished. I will be leaving now, perhaps we may have 'girl time', as you call it, again in the future." The great demoness then up and walked away, and the sight of Ino staring at her ass would be something Sakura would never let her live down, she had a lot of explaining and bullshitting to do in almost equal amounts.

Hokage's Office

"So? Can you fill in for me or not?" The list of things on Naruto's to do list was surprisingly short for a Hokage. Of course, this was for the real Naruto, the shadow clone sitting behind a desk grumbling nonsense and anti-Semitic comments under his breath, had a big fucking to do list of filling out paperwork. So locating Orochimaru through his teammate was really the only interesting part. Immortality was a different subject. Could he truly overcome the one fatal flaw of humanity? Inevitable mortality? Why was he trying so hard, he had already admitted to lying to Kurama. Then again, only she said it was a lie, Naruto didn't say shit.

"Can't you just have your clone there fill in? I'm not one to pass up free sake, but why do you need me?" Tsunade was a heavy drinker at heart, but she hadn't lost any brain cells that such heavy drinking would imply. Perhaps sake was what made her intelligent.

"No, I can't keep up clones for as long as I think I'll be gone, my chakra control isn't that good. It may be a few weeks. So?"

"Sure, but where are you going?"

"I need to find your old teammate." That got her attention enough to put down her sake, a large achievement.

"What do you need him for?" She said, still unsure of her position of her teammate. She had hated him, but he had saved her life after the battle with Madara Uchiha.

Naruto sighed heavily, he hated lying to anybody, and lying to someone who trusted him so much only made it worse. "I may have made a promise to an emotionally damaged bijuu that I shouldn't have. Aaand I may need to know how to be immortal to keep my promise."

"Explain, now." Even though Tsunade was in her late sixties, she still radiated power, authority, and control over most male dicks. Naruto excluded only because of the thickness of his skull.

"I'll give you the quick version. I promised Kurama I would release it when I didn't need its power anymore. I did that a few days ago, turns out it is a woman. I made another promise to her saying I would be her friend, did that too. Now I promised her I wouldn't leave her no matter what and since she's immortal I, uh, kinda need to be too. I don't go back on my word and I don't intend to start now. I know she refuses to make friends because all it does is hurt her, they die while she lives on, and I don't know what is gonna happen to her after I die and I don't want to see her in a situation where someone will take advantage of her." Halfway through the lengthy explanation, Naruto had taken his feet off the desk and become more serious.

"You released the Kyuubi? God dammit Naruto, I don't know whether to be pissed at your recklessness or touched at your devotion. At least she isn't hostile. Well back on the subject." Tsunade paused to take an extra big sip of her favorite mind numbing drink.

"I can fill in for Hokage, but I can't tell you anything about Orochimaru. I'll see you when you fill out the paperwork." She chose this moment to stop the conversation with Naruto before he drove her to drink anymore.

Quickly she left and left Naruto and his muttering clone alone. "You hear that?"

"Yeah I heard…you fucker."

Back at Naruto's Apartment

"Naruto…you know I understand you'll die one day." Over dinner Naruto had told her that he would be leaving to chase a little after the immortality dream, it was only a dream at this point. Kurama was only able to comment her disapproval when they were about to sleep, feeling she must talk him out of it.

"What's this about?" He thought Kurama would be much more excited about the idea of having a friend that truly would never leave her. But she had shown little emotion, even though he was a sage he wasn't able to get a read on her emotions ever since she had left the seal. Bijuu must be much more difficult to read in sage mode since they were beings of chakra.

"Do you truly intend on throwing away your afterlife for my sake? I can get by just fine without you." It would be nice, but she couldn't take him from his friends, parents, and even his future family for all eternity.

"I never thought about that. But how well are you going to be fine without me? It took me years to get you to even work with me, and longer for you to be my friend. I'm worried what you'll do when I die, what do you think you'll do?" True he hadn't thought about everything, the drawbacks and the perks, about being immortal. He simply wasn't the kind of person to think everything through, releasing Kurama being the exception.

"I will lock myself up again, Naruto I've told you before being friends with people only hurt me. I've only agreed with you because you're so insistent, selfless, kind, and strong enough..." Kurama realized what she was about to say and decided to swallow her wants and needs to drop the metaphorical bomb.

"Strong enough what?" She had cut herself off and the way the conversation was going it seemed like he might do do something he would regret if he wasn't careful.

Instead of answering him, Kurama sat up and looked Naruto in the eye. Unfortunately dragging Naruto's eyes to her scantily clad boobs, who regained his composure quick enough to not have been noticed. She truly was beautiful.

"Are you willing to become like me? You obviously aren't thinking this all the way through. You'll experience what I went through except far worse. You love your many friends, I only had one. Do you think your strong enough to say goodbye knowing you truly never will see them again. What about your parents? You always wanted to see them, and if you go through with what you plan to do, you never will." It would hurt to say goodbye, but it was for the best. It wasn't fair to take such an innocent person away from his family. She would be fine.

"…I may need to think this through more…I'll be back." Slowly Naruto left the bed, donning his night clothes. He reached for his Hokage cloak, but stopped, seemingly condescending himself for reaching for it. A few moments later and she was alone in his room, the way she would always be.

"It will always be my fate to be alone Naruto. You do not have to share that fate with me. Even if…" Kurama gave herself a small pat on the back for talking Naruto out of being immortal. But she wanted to punch herself in the face.

Atop Minato's Head

Naruto was sitting on his father's head, the one place he went to when he wanted advice. But this time he needed advice, something, anything to tell him he was on the right path. Tonight however the calmness his father usually provided was gone, like it was pulled away and taken from him. Still, he would seek his father's advice.

"Dad? Dad, I know you can hear me. You said you and mom would always watch over me. You may not be able to talk to me but can you give me a sign? Something, anything! I'm so confused and conflicted…I need something. She needs me you old bastard! I can't abandon her, I'll pry immortality from the Shinigami himself if I have to!" Swearing at and cursing his father was something he never did, no matter how angry he was. What the hell is wrong with him?

"Nothing? Is the Shinigami not letting you? Is that it? I'm not afraid of him so you shouldn't be! After all, aren't I supposed to take after you? Or did mom cheat on you and fuck someone else? Where's your backbone huh old man?"

Somewhere

"Your son is awfully upset with you Minato." The death god had a name alone that struck fear into the strongest of men, and his appearance would strike paralysis into every other. Of course, the devil like form he used to cross over into the realm of mortals was not his true form.

His true form resembled that of an old man, with a bald head, thick white eyebrows, wrinkles on top of wrinkles, and a long white beard that passed his cloaked chest. If a mortal saw him in person, they would see him as a feeble old man. Imagine Minato's surprise when he was dragged over into the world of the dead and saw the true Shinigami.

"Well no shit, he was always a sucker for girls with sob stories. Kurama isn't any different. Was this Kami's doing?" The fact Minato was called to listen to his son begin cursing his name was irking him, when he was never allowed to hear Naruto praise him or seek advice, this is the first thing he hears after he fixed the seal. The fact Kami found it extremely fun to fuck with Naruto's life was only more irking. Even more irking than when the Shinigami told him that Naruto had released the Kyuubi, whose true name was Kurama.

"I believe not, this are his choices and his feelings. Kami has not influenced any aspect of this, only observed. I must say, he truly is an interesting person. Falling for an immortal being and trying so hard to get her to accept him." His voice was low and gravely, only further reinforcing his age.

"So what did you call me hear for? To hear my son spew obscenities at me or something else?" Minato's patience was never truly that great to begin with.

"He wishes to be immortal, but she is attempting to talk him out of it. He is conflicted and seeks your guidance, do you wish to speak with him?"

"What? B-but Kushina can't wait to see him! Does he understand what he's doing?" This little tidbit of information had been withheld for entertainment of the death god only.

"Yes or no?" This was a onetime offer the death god was offering, he would not give the man a second chance.

"Only if both Kushina and I can talk with him."

"Deal, make it count."

Atop the Fourth's Head

"You know what old man, fuck you!" Suddenly two chakra signatures, all too familiar to Naruto, appeared in his sensing range. It goes without saying, Naruto expected an ass whooping.

"Please tell me you didn't hear all that." Naruto timidly said to the forms of his parents while his father glared at him while his mother seemed confused, but nonetheless excited to see him.

"Oh you bet I heard that you little shit." Naruto made no effort to block his dad's punch, he deserved it.

"Both of you watch your mouths!" His mother, Kushina, scolded the two before she glomped Naruto. With his father showing his affection by dusting off his knuckles.

"Easy mom, you're crushing my ribs. I can't heal as quick now." Naruto said, more than happy at seeing his family whom he thought was long gone.

"Oh, sorry honey!" Soon enough the three had regained their composure, and almost as if she was a machine Naruto and Kushina began spewing all kinds of information they wanted to know/ tell respectively.

"First off, guess who's Hokage? Me bitches! Took twenty three years but I did it!"

"All right Naruto! Datteboyo!" Even though she had worked heavily on her speech tick, Kushina could never escape it when she got excited, nearly hugging her son to death.

"That's my boy! How old are you now?"

"Twenty three, why?"

"Yes! Because Jiraiya owes me a personalized Icha-Icha book! Ow." Minato's ear was viciously pulled by his wife who was glaring daggers at the former Hokage.

"I don't want to know, but I have a second surprise. Here hold this." Naruto then pulled out a faithful replica of his father's hiraishin kunai and tossed it to the man before he vanished.

"Where's he going Minato?" Kushina asked.

"To blow your fucking mind is where he went." His answer confused her, Minato usually never swore, her confusion would be quickly fixed though.

Soon Naruto had reappeared with a mysterious redhead, mysterious to Kushina at least, who had a fairly bad case of bedhead, was wearing a hastily put on nightgown, but other than that looked great enough to make even Kushina feel slightly self-conscious.

"Naruto, why did you bring me here? Oh, it's you two." Kurama simply answered her own question by looking around briefly. Of course the venom in her words was ignored by Kushina who was about to go fucking nuts.

"KAWAI! My little boy has a girlfriend, or is she your wife? Oh you two are so cute together, where are my grandchildren? Did I miss the wedding? I'm gonna kick that geezers ass when I see him again if I missed it. What's so funny Naruto-kun?" The fact Naruto was laughing his ass off, and Minato was silently dying, was the only thing stopping Kurama from murdering Kushina. If she wasn't already dead.

"Oh…my…god…I'm…dying! Kurama…is…gonna…kick…your…ass…Mom…can't…breathe." Naruto was in hysterics because of the way his mother screamed kawai at the top of her lungs. Minato was in hysterics because his wife had no idea who she was talking too and he had lost the control of his laughter.

"Woman…I'll forgive you because you don't know who I am. But don't say that again." Even with her eyes closed, Kurama still found a way to twitch her eye in irritation. Why was it so many people thought they should be together? She wouldn't allow herself to feel that attached to anybody, not even Naruto. At least that's what she had convinced herself of.

"Kurama? Oh so that's my daughter-in law's name! When did you and Naruto meet?" Kushina was immune to the stunningly large amount of killing intent Kurama was throwing at Kushina because she was dead. Minato was as well, and Naruto was immune because he was her Jinchūriki. So all Kurama was doing was glaring like a child who had been denied a toy.

"How much I wish to hurt you now can't be expressed through words." It was funny watching Kurama get this upset, knowing that she knew full well she can't hurt the dead. Unless she was dead, which she can't be.

"Oh all right, I'll stop teasing you. But where did you and Naruto meet?" She would never have guessed who this woman truly was.

"Twenty three years ago when Naruto's parent's killed themselves to stop me." Leave it to an immortal demon to be as blunt and insulting as possible.

"OH BY KAMI! Minato seal her again!" Kushina quickly realized who she had been pissing off and ducked behind her husband, pushing him straight into the now truly pissed off Kurama who was not happy about possibly being sealed again.

She grabbed Minato by the throat and slammed the poor man hard enough into the ground to make a crater.

"I'm not being sealed again. I'll find a way to kill the dead if you try." Kurama's descending, clawed hand, was only stopped by Naruto's again.

"Kurama you know you can't hurt him right?" It was true, even though Minato had just had a personalized crater made by his body, he couldn't feel a thing.

"Tsk." Was all she said before she released the man and sent a death glare to Kushina. Before being smacked upside the head by Naruto hard enough to transfer the glare over to him.

"Naruto! You released the Kyuubi? How could you be so reckless! Start explaining now!" After a lengthy explanation, and simultaneously trying to calm down Kurama. Kushina, and Minato to an extent, was brought up to speed.

"B-but Naruto-kun, I was looking so forward to seeing you again. We could finally be a family after so long." Kushina had definitely been shocked that Naruto was considering never joining them in the afterlife

"Relax, woman. He will be joining you in the afterlife. He has given up-" Naruto cut her off before she could finish reassuring Kushina Naruto would be with her.

"I haven't given up on shit yet Kurama. That's why I was up here yelling at dad. I wasn't sure what I would do if I never saw you guys again. I know what I'm probably gonna do, I wanted your opinion. What do you guys think?"

"Oh, Naruto-kun." His mother was unable to say anything and was only able to embrace her son. His father joined in the hug mostly to help comfort his wife and troubled son.

"You see Naruto? I can't take this from you, no matter how much you spew about keeping your word. Do you really want to give this up? All for me?" All Kurama wanted was for Naruto to push away his parents, turn to her and say he would find a way to stay with her if it killed him. Alas that wouldn't be and she wouldn't let him, as much as it would hurt.

Naruto soon gave a tearful goodbye to his parents as they faded back into death, it seemed he had come to a decision.

"Well Kurama, I got my answer and more. Hell I didn't expect anything like this to happen, I just wanted to vent my frustration at something." He was grinning that stupid grin like he always did.

"You didn't!" He couldn't have, he didn't have a reason too, unless…

"I've got a snake to find, my parents understand what I plan to do. They even told me where Orochimaru is. Let's get some sleep. Kurama?" She on the other hand was shocked beyond her capability to form words. Naruto had agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice.

"What's wrong? You're crying again." He wouldn't understand the magnitude of what he had just done for her. She would have to reward him with something she swore she would never give anyone, perhaps it was time she live a little.

"I know Naruto. Do you have noise cancelling seals at your house?" She said wiping the tears away and smiling at the same time.

"Yeah why?"

"You're going to need them." Kurama quickly and almost forcefully made Naruto hiraishin back to his apartment, where Kurama would show her appreciation.

Naruto's Apartment

As soon as they were back in his apartment Kurama pushed Naruto up against a wall and gave him the first of many things she would give him tonight. Her first kiss. It was sloppy, somewhat all over the place, but it had all the emotions she had been ignoring since she was created. Affection, lust, friendship, and most of all love. She had steadily been falling for the blonde and his declaration that he would sacrifice everything for her had finally forced her to accept it and go for it.

It took a moment but Naruto was returning it, a fact that made her giddy with excitement of what she planned would come. They separated for air and Naruto looked greatly surprised, well she would have to fix that wouldn't she?

She kissed him again except this time she stuck her tongue in his mouth, something he was as foreign to as she was. It was clumsy but steadily getting more and more pleasurable. Kurama allowed herself to moan into his mouth and Naruto returned it by grabbing her ass eliciting a surprised yelp from Kurama.

They separated for air again and Naruto tried to ask a question but Kurama silenced him with another kiss. To which he happily returned. After a serious make-out session, he picked her up by her ass and turned them around so he was in control.

"I love you Naruto."

"Kurama, I love you too."

"I must get these offending clothes off of you."

"I agree." Because she was horny and impatient, Kurama released her claws and ripped his clothes apart, leaving his muscular body with just its pants on. Naruto swiftly followed suit and removed the clothes to the beautiful fox demon he was about to make love to. Leaving her in the lacy black bra and panties she had bought shopping with Sakura. Leaving Naruto eyeing her like a horny dog, which he was at this point.

Kurama quickly pushed Naruto down on the floor and straddled his hips quickly getting the dominant position again. Again she kissed the blonde, driving her tongue as deep into his mouth as she could, Naruto put up little resistance and let her have her fill. He would get back at her eventually. His hands wandered all the way down her body, feeling and attempting to memorize every curve her body had. He ended up at her nicely toned ass and was unable to stop himself from kneading the wonderful buns.

"You like my ass huh? Well I think I can help with that." Kurama then slid off of Naruto while dragging him on top of her. She grabbed his hands and lowered them to her waist and pushed his head down with her own hands so that he was getting an eyeful of her sweet smelling pussy that was blocked by a pair of panties.

"Off, no no. With your teeth." Kurama responded to Naruto beginning to use his hands to remove her panties.

Naruto blushed heavily at her forwardness, she seemed to know exactly how to guide him through pleasing her, but he was being led on a collar. He hatched a devious plan, instead of using his teeth to take off the offending piece of fabric, he used his tongue to tease her multiple times and got fierce series of shivers this he could work with.

"W-what are you doing?" Kurama's concern at whatever he was doing was flown out the window when Naruto had found her clit and bit it lightly. Judging by her moans of approval, this was the first time she had done something like this.

"Ohhhh, Naruto. Remove that fabric now." Even if she wasn't in control right now, she couldn't care in the slightest if it felt this good. She was intent on experiencing this without clothing in the way.

"Not yet." Naruto, teasing the poor woman underneath him, stopped attacking her clit with his tongue and left little butterfly kisses all the way up to her still covered breasts. He then attacked her nipples through the fabric, one with his mouth and the other with his hand. Switching back and forth to not neglect either breast, tormenting Kurama all the more who was about to go nuts if he didn't start touching her skin. That still didn't stop her from placing a hand on the back of his head for encouragement, Kurama moaning in pleasure the whole time.

"Who knew you were so sensitive Kurama? Imagine what'll be like when I remove your underwear." He accentuated his point by lightly biting one of her nipples, pinching the other, and pinching her clit all at the same time. Needless to say Kurama lost her self-control.

"Just fuck me already! I can't take any more of this! Fuck me right now!" He may have drove her farther than he meant to, oops.

Since he wasn't one to disappoint he finally removed her bra and panties and threw them in some unknown corner of his house, his pants and frog boxers soon to follow leaving them both in the nude. "You are so fuckin' sexy." Naruto couldn't help himself, he started attacking her breasts again while stealthily lowering his fingers to her pussy.

"Please Narutoooo…" The thoughts she was about to voice were nearly forgotten as Naruto's fingers entered her, skillfully hitting all the right spots while pinching her clit every so often, bringing her to her first ever orgasm. A very powerful one at that, and loud.

Kurama was panting after her recent exertion. "Naruto…that was…wonderful…but I thought your penis was bigger than that." The panting sweat soaked form of his soon to be lover was a sight to behold, even in her most intimate moments she still was stunning.

That had made Naruto nearly laugh, she thought his dick was in her right now. "That's not my dick, those were my fingers." He did laugh at her surprised expression though as he removed them and showed her own juices on his fingers before making a show of licking them clean.

"Oh by Kami…I'm so glad I met you Naruto, I truly am." She was definitely in for a whirlwind of a time if those were just his fingers, she could only imagine what pleasures his dick could bestow upon her.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable." He said while carrying Kurama bridal style into the bedroom and laying her down gently enough as if she were a baby.

"Oh and by the way, this room is the only room with silencing seals on it, most of my neighbors probably heard you a bit ago." He laughed somewhat embarrassed at being the cause of it but pride swelled within his manhood as well. Or was that something else?

"Naruto I'm pretty sure you know this but, you are my first. You know what to do right? Because I-" Kurama was silenced by a surprise kiss which she happily returned with gusto.

"Relax Kurama, you'll be fine. If you want me to stop I'll stop, I've heard this will hurt. You still want to go?" He always hesitated if someone would get hurt, especially her.

"I wouldn't stop if it would hurt forever. I love you Naruto." Though she was scared, Naruto wouldn't keep going if it hurt. If she wished it he would stop here and now. He may be the most selfless person she ever met, scratch that he is.

"I love you too, ready?" With a quick nod, he hilted himself inside of her. Kissing her so she would have a better outlet for her pain. Soon enough Kurama gave the go ahead for the real fun to begin.

It hurt, but the pain grunts gradually fell to moans of pleasure and eventually repeating his name over and over as his ministrations brought her closer and closer to the edge until he finally pushed her over. Even though she had her orgasm already, Naruto didn't seem anywhere near finished.

With almost expert precision Naruto hit her g-spot on nearly every thrust causing her to moan his name out with even more gusto as she closed in on another mind shattering orgasm. Just before she popped Naruto flipped them over and drove her face into the pillow with her ass in the air and began plowing into her warm, wet, and oh so pleasurable pussy with even more force than before driving Kurama over the edge again. Screaming his name in bliss, she forgot the real world existed as she came for the fourth time that night.

Her eyes were growing heavy, and she felt herself being rolled over again so that she could stare into Naruto's eyes again. It seemed he was finally getting close, good news for Kurama who was on the verge of blacking out from pleasure assaulting her mind. Wordless as they're lovemaking was, definitely not noiseless, Naruto refused to finish unless she would too. So with all the power his will had he held his own orgasm back until he brought her there one last time.

Kurama could no longer tell which direction was which, her mind was only able to recognize one thing and it was pleasure. She couldn't even tell when Naruto had switched positions again and put her on top for the first time that night. At this point Naruto was fucking a ragdoll.

"Kurama…are you…all right?" She hadn't responded when he switched so she could take control for once and he was a little worried he had smothered her in the pillow.

"*Incoherent gurgles of happiness*" Kurama could barely stay conscious let alone speak, don't even mention her actually riding Naruto with her own will. Naruto decided to wake her up from her stupor by kissing her, it worked to a degree.

"N-Naruto…don't stop…I'm so close." In an effort to end their lovemaking Naruto rolled them over so Kurama was on her side with him right behind her holding her leg above so he could continue to penetrate his woman.

Kurama leaned her head back and locked a kiss between the two of them before she screamed her release into his mouth. This time Naruto followed her with his own orgasm, his cum blasting deep inside her .

Finally, she could breathe again without having to throw it back out in pleasure.

"Naruto…when I said what you did before was wonderful…that was divine." Kurama said, unable to stop herself from collapsing onto her chosen lover.

"Well, that was definitely the longest I've ever lasted. You up to go again?" She was only just able to realize Naruto was still hard inside her. Even with his recently ejaculated semen still flowing out of her.

Dear god he was going to put her in a sex coma and she couldn't have been happier.

Sometime Later

It had taken the better part of the night but Naruto had done it. He fucked Kurama into a sex induced coma, he was worried at first but he realized she was fine when she was mumbling sweet nothings into his ear. It was now midday and the lovers were just waking up.

"Hey beautiful." He said happily to his naked bedmate.

"Hello Naruto, can I ask if all men are like that or is it just you."

"It's just me, I'm just that awesome." He threw a tired grin at her and she reciprocated the gesture as best she could with an exhausted smile.

"Well you are special, I thought I was going to die…what day is it? I lost track of time at the third orgasm." The fact he fucked a woman so hard she nearly died, let alone a woman who was immortal, made his pride and his ego swell massively.

"I hate to leave you, because last night was amazing, but I have to leave for a few weeks to find that snake." It would definitely suck to leave but he would be back.

"I know, just fuck me extra hard when you get back."

Naruto grinned again, he had turned an ancient bijuu into a sex addict. "You got it."

One Month Later

This was problematic, very problematic. The snake had been found fairly easily with sage mode, or what was left of him. When Naruto had found him Orochimaru had been a stone carcass and from the looks of it he couldn't have died any more than a week ago. He wasn't a genius but he could tell when someone was murdered and sought out. It was clear Orochimaru had been personally sought out and killed, how odd.

He was currently on his way back when to Konoha when he felt a terrifying cold breeze blow by him. He had only been around its presence once before in his life but it was unforgettable, even if he had been a baby.

"Shinigami." It was all Naruto could say, even he was quivering at the presence of the terrifying god of death, who with just the touch of his hand could reap Naruto's soul from his body.

"Naruto Uzumaki, savior of the elemental nations and lover to the Kyuubi no Kitsune. You have done some awfully big things with your life." The very presence of him had even Naruto Uzumaki, the strongest known ninja, fearful for his life. Perhaps he should work on his public image.

"Listen if you heard me saying to my dad about ripping immortality from you, I was totally lying." He could think of no reason other than he had offended the might god of death and he was here to reap his revenge. Subconsciously he locked onto a hiraishin beacon back in Konoha, ready to retreat at a moment's notice.

"Relax mortal, I am not here for what you think. I simply wish to speak with you, it was I that allowed you to speak with your parents. But I did not expect them to talk you into immortality, I am nonetheless surprised of your lover, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, actually reciprocated your feelings." Even though he was the god of death, even he could not resist the allure of a good peep show. Especially when it had an immortal he never knew had a human form was participating.

"The god of death is a closet pervert. Why am I not surprised?" Even though he had been peeped on, he still felt prideful of the fact he was holding a conversation with the Shinigami himself. But then something caught his attention and he remembered Orochimaru.

"Hey death dude, did you kill Orochimaru?"

"You are more clever than your appearance suggests. Yes I did kill the irritating snake summoner, why do you ask? Never mind, I remember why."

"What the hell? I needed that mother fucker! Now how am I supposed to keep my promise to Kurama? Thanks asshole." Naruto knew exactly who he was insulting but didn't give a flying fuck. He was very pissed.

"Watch your tongue boy or I will rewrite the laws of the world so that I will be capable of taking the life of an immortal being. Or more specifically your lover K-" The Shinigami would always remember the one human who wounded him without a second thought.

"So you can be hurt, if you don't want the next one in the eye, I suggest that you watch your tongue when talking about her." Naruto understood he had just probably made the mother of all fuck ups in throwing a kunai through the cheek of the death god, but if was going to insult Kurama he had better be ready to party. If only Naruto knew that the form in front of him was simply but an avatar and the true god of death was completely out of his reach.

"You wounded me. You have made the final mistake you will ever make mortal." How dare this pathetic mortal even attempt to harm him, a god. Actually succeeding in this task was something akin to suicide.

"Oh yeah? Let's go you ugly mother fucker!" Naruto quickly threw several hiraishin marked kunai at the death god and shouted his favorite jutsu.

Tajuu Kage Bunshin No Jutsu: Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu

Quickly before the mighty god of death could retaliate thousands of Narutos and thousands of hiraishin markers littered the battlefield, giving Naruto complete control over the battlefield.

"HEY ASSHOLE!" They all shouted being loud enough to make even the Shinigami flinch.

"SUCK ON THESE!" Within seconds of the battle starting, Naruto had launched hundreds, maybe even thousands, of rasenshurikens at the death god. It didn't matter who you were, you don't walk away from that. Within seconds, each rasenshuriken ripped through the death god's body, leaving him in hundreds of individual pieces.

It was impossible, a mere mortal was destroying his avatar with ease. It would take centuries to make another one, Uzumaki would have hell to pay in the afterlife. All of the Naruto clones dissipated and the real one stood defiantly in front of the fallen god. With the last of its strength the Shinigami attempted to yank Naruto's soul from his body.

"Remember asshole? They expand." Instantly, the avatar of the Shinigami was enveloped in an extremely large ball of all destroying chakra that wiped away any existence he had been there. It only made Naruto feel even more badass that his Hokage cloak flapped dramatically in time with the death god's dying scream and that his expanding chakra stopped just inches from his face.

It took a moment for the nature of what he had just accomplished to sink in, he had just killed a god. He had killed a fucking god. He was by default the ultimate badass of the world.

"Woohoo! In your face bitch! I kicked your ass, sure I could only do it because you weren't paying attention, but I did it! A-oh holy fuck…" Naruto felt the efforts of his exertion like a building had fallen on him.

"Next time…think twice before threatening people I care about. What the hell is this?" That had been Naruto's first battle in years and he was an absolute adrenaline high, even if he could barely stand, he was deeply curious about the glowing ball of light that fell in the crater that had formed where all his jutsus expanded.

"Whoa, I have to ask Kurama about this." It was a completely foreign feeling to Naruto, he could not truly touch the ball but it did not fall through his hand.

He had had enough of this and now Naruto felt like cuddling his woman so he hiraishinned back into his office and after storing the glowing ball into a scroll passed out from chakra exhaustion.

The Chamber of The Death God

An enraged old man slammed his aged hands down upon his desk, and with strength betraying their look, shattered the table.

"Impossible! No mortal should have been able to touch the avatar let alone destroy it. UZUMAKI! If he figures out how to absorb the avatar's soul then I will have to start from scratch. I will talk to Kami about you boy-" The death god was interrupted by the one person he didn't want to talk to.

"So I just heard from Kami you tried to kill my son. What the hell were you thinking? I'm gonna kick your ass you old bastard!" Even if he was dead, a vengeful father's spirit was something even the Shinigami didn't like dealing with. They were always so difficult to control.

Regardless, he was in no mood to entertain him of all people. Without saying a word, the man waved his hand in a dismissive gesture and several tentacles that seemed so dark they absorbed the light of the room instead of reflecting it raced towards Minato, they were intending to send him to the darkest depths of hell. But upon contact they shattered and the Shinigami saw the form of Kami form before his eyes for a brief moment.

"I have protection and permission from Kami herself to kick the shit out of you." The visage of Minato threateningly cracking his knuckles and grinning like a maniac would always haunt the old fool who believed he could break the rules of the world because he was a god himself. Even gods have rules to follow.

Back in Naruto's Apartment

"Woo, what a story, eh Kurama." Naruto had recovered soon after he hiraishinned back and filled his lover in on in the fact he had met, talked, fought and killed the Shinigami had been interesting for a time. At least until Kurama started evilly smiling when he brought up the glowing ball of light.

"Naruto, three things. One, the Shinigami himself uses avatars, or puppets, to come to this realm. Two when you killed the Shinigami puppet, you found its soul. Naruto, the Shinigami puppet souls are immortal and I know how to make you immortal with it. And three, well look for yourself." This was something she had been ecstatic about since the moment she had learned. It would be funny to see Naruto's reaction.

"Look at what?"

"Me or more precisely my stomach." The fact she was capable of having children was something to be excited about on its own, it only made it better that it was Naruto's.

"Ohhh, you gained weight. It's okay I still love you." Let it be known to all that still don't.

Naruto Uzumaki is a dense motherfucker.

A/N: Boom, done, cut, print, and straight to the box office. Not really, I'm just happy to see it done. Anyway I may write more Naruto stories if the mood strikes me or people really want to see more of my work. This was really fun to write and now I'm glad I did, leave a review if you enjoyed.