note: Me again, yeah. So this came from absolutely nowhere, I just got the idea the other night, certain people told me to write it, and I did. And this is it. I was up until like 4:30AM writing this thing, so the inspiration was definitely there. It's quite long for my stuff, too, which is always nice. Basically this is set within the current canon, loathe that as I do, so it's just set roughly when Jimmy and Breena's baby will be due (for anyone who didn't know, they're apparently expecting; I know what I do through gifsets and posts alone, lol). That's kinda all you need to know for this, really.
Thanks go to Jessica for help all round, especially baby-naming, and to my sister for being awake at 3am and helping with a couple of sentences my brain just couldn't put together in the early hours. Enjoy, and please, feel free to leave me a review!

disclaimer: It's not mine.

Yearning

The baby's fussing by the time he gets his turn. Abby's squealing in his ear as his arms slide round the tiny newborn, and he wonders if his friends can all sense his uncertainty. He can feel the little girl tense in his arms, and he cringes in anticipation of the inevitable scream.
As quickly as it happens, though, she relaxes, and he smiles in relief before gently rocking her.

"Welcome to the family, Holly." he murmurs, looking up to find Jimmy beaming at him. Breena's sat in bed, suitably exhausted but smiling nonetheless; her husband sits next to her, arm wrapped round her shoulders.

McGee shifts to Tony's right, and he looks back down to the girl almost sadly at the prospect of letting her go.
Her eyes are wide, a shade of bright blue that he can't seem to look away from, and her slow blinks make him smile. He can feel her gentle breathing against his palm; sense the slight twitches of her arms as he makes to move her. She's somehow captivated him and she's not even a day old yet.

"C'mon, McGee."
He hardly hears his own voice for his distracted thoughts, but his friend's hands replace his and Holly's warmth leaves his grasp.

He doesn't know why he can't stop thinking about a perhaps similar little girl with dark brown eyes and wild curls who might just call him Daddy.

"I gotta go." His words come out in a rushed breath, and he's halfway to the door before he realises he's probably being rude. Spinning round, he finds everyone but the baby's eyes on him. "Congratulations again, Palmer, Breena. Cute kid you got there."
He offers a false smile before running out the room.

His phone's in his hand the moment he steps into his apartment. His head is still spinning, mind set alight by images of something he just can't have, but he knows if there were ever a time to call her, it's now.
He's still surprised when the number actually dials.

"Tony?" comes her voice, quiet and mildly confused-sounding. His heart trips just at the sound of her.

"Um, hey."

"Is something wrong?"
He can hear the worry in her tone, so he starts with the happy news.

"No, uh, just thought you should know. Jimmy and Breena had their kid. A little girl, Holly."

"Oh." She sounds happy, he thinks, and that makes him smile a little. "Could you give them my congratulations?"

He grins.
"Yeah. Yeah, I could. She's so tiny, Ziva, with these great big blue eyes. Cute little thing, too."

"I'm glad." she says, and he can hear the smile in her voice again. He's not quite sure when his happiness became reliant upon hers, but it seems to be the case.

"Tony, why did you call?"

Though he knows what she means, he still frowns.
"To tell you about—"

"No, Tony, you could have emailed me to tell me that. Jimmy could have emailed me. We haven't spoken in months, why did you call me?"

He sighs, running a hand over his face.
"You don't wanna know."

"I do. Tony, please, tell me."
He can hear the slight tremble to her voice, and it's that of all things that makes him speak.

"How much longer do you need?"

The silence seems to fall immediately. He can feel it crushing down on his chest and moving in around him and he wishes he could take back the words. He can no longer hear her quiet breaths rattling down the line; can no longer sense her presence on the other end, and her absence unnerves him as ever.
Then, something clicks. And the world moves yet again.

"For what?" she bluffs, and he rolls his eyes heavenward.

"You know what, Ziva. It's been over a year, I need to know... I need to know whether there's any chance I'm ever gonna see you again."
His voice betrays him and cracks on the last word, and he blinks away the sudden tears in his gaze.

The time seems to drag on and on, neither of them speaking, and he wishes, not for the first time, that he was right by her side and not just sat upon his couch wanting her. All he can hear is the quiet ticking of a clock, until she speaks. Just one word.

"Now."

"What?" he splutters out, utterly stunned.

"You are right. It's been over a year, our friends have become parents... When can you get on a plane?"

"Where are you?"

It's the only thought in his mind.

She laughs loudly before telling him, and it makes him laugh too. Oh, he has missed her.

He gives his bedroom a final glance before dragging his bag out to the door with a tired groan. The place he's known as home for years now, is mainly empty. His fish are gone, given to his neighbour's six-year-old daughter where he hopes they'll be happy. His DVD collection still lines the walls, but a few of his favourites lie amongst his socks and t-shirts, packed away in his suitcase. His piano sits pride of place as ever, the keys collecting dust he hopes might one day be blown away, should slender fingers play a tune or two there.

But he doesn't care. Ziva's his home now and he's known that for months. So, upon his coffee table, sits his single, rather lonely-looking badge.
He'd put the job before her once, at her demand. It's a mistake he won't be making again.

With one more firm nod, he scoops up his bag, shuts the door, and walks away. He's got a plane to catch.

She's waiting at the airport when he arrives. She'd told him she would be, but after a long flight and a seemingly longer wait to collect his bag, seeing her face amongst the busy crowd still feels like a pleasant surprise.
There's a bright coat upon her shoulders and a thick scarf round her neck, and though the Israeli winter feels positively warm to him in comparison to the icy DC he'd left behind, she must be feeling the cold.

He swears the smile she sends him once their eyes lock actually makes her face light up. It's a glorious sight, and one he hasn't seen in far too long.

His feet move toward her of their own accord, and he almost runs across the floor in his haste to reach her. His suitcase drags behind him until he drops it unthinkingly to pull her in his arms.

"Hi." he chokes out, face buried into her hair.

She laughs.
"Hello."

When he pulls back, he's sure there are tears in both their eyes.

"I missed you." he murmurs, hand cupping her cheek. She merely smiles, leaning in to press her lips against his.

The kiss is slow and lengthy; her hands slip round his neck whilst his grasp at her waist then drift up to her hair. Though their last kiss tasted of farewell, this tastes of hope, and promise. It might just taste of the future.

"It's a nice place." he says, as he flops down on the couch.

"I know you're lying, Tony."

"Well, it's... small. And the car horns are pretty loud. But it's not that bad."

Her city-centre apartment is completely unlike anything he'd imagined her staying in, but he'd never tell her that. Its rooms are small and sparse, with hardly anything around that instantly seems Ziva. She has no TV, something he'll learn to live with, and only a few books sit atop the coffee table. A quick peek into her bedroom showed just a double bed and a tiny wardrobe. He can't help but wonder if the personal journey she went on involved a lack of luxury, too.

"Tony." she says, her tone a false warning as she sits beside him.

"Ziva, I don't care what your apartment's like. I just care if you're here, which you are, so..."
He trails off when he sees her warm smile.

"Sometimes, Tony DiNozzo, you are extremely sappy."

She plants a kiss on his cheek as if to emphasise the fact, but he merely shrugs.

"Did Jimmy's baby bring out this... softer side, to you?"
Her voice is quiet and inquisitive, and it might be all that stops him from deflecting to a topic other than that which brought him here.

"Holly? Nah. But... she did make me think about a lot of things."

Her eyes narrow in question and he reaches out for her hand. Her fingers lace through his in moments.

"I, um. I looked at her, and it made me realise. I'm getting old, Ziva. And I'm not settled down, I don't have kids, I'm just... waiting."

She runs her thumb over his knuckles.
"Waiting for what?"

He raises an eyebrow.

"For you, Ziva."

She looks to the floor suddenly, cheeks flushing with what he presumes is guilt. Shuffling closer, he nudges her chin with his thumb.

"Look at me, Ziva. I would wait for you, for as long as it takes. I get that you had to do this and that's okay. But I'm not gonna pretend anymore. Because when someone mentions the future, or a family, the first thing I think of is you."

Her jaw drops, and for a moment he thinks she's about to say something. She doesn't, though, opting instead to lean forward, kissing him almost feverishly. Though it kills him to do so, he grasps her shoulders and pushes her back a little.

"I'm not done." he says through a laugh, and she grins, resting her forehead against his.

He breathes in deeply, savouring the moment.
"I looked at that little girl, Ziva, and I wanted that. I still want it, so badly. But I don't want it with anyone other than you. You're... it."

"I love you." she says, voice husky. Her eyes are closed tight and he swears nothing in the world could tear him away from this moment.

"I love you too."

"Tony, I want that too. I want that more than... than anything."

He smirks, cheekily, sure of the answer he'll get but asking anyway.
"With me?"

"Yes, with you, you idiot." she exclaims, pulling away and slapping his arm with a laugh before leaning in to kiss him.

It's more frantic this time; wilder and rushed like she can't get enough of him, and oh, he knows that feeling well. Her hands clutch at his shoulders, her grip tight, whilst her tongue slides between his lips and he can't help but groan. His fingers dip beneath the hem of her shirt and brush against her bare skin and before he knows it she's sat back and torn the fabric away anyway, leaning back in and pulling his own shirt up after.
She stands, fingers lacing through his, and tugs him up with her. His gaze never strays from her eyes despite the fact her chest is now half-bare and very close to his reach.

"Come with me, Tony."
Her voice is just a sultry breath and it makes his head spin, but he still manages to smirk.

"Oh, I intend to."

She grins, hand squeezing his, and leads him through to the bedroom. He stops them in the doorway.

"Just to check, we're not starting on the kids thing right now, are we?"

She slaps his ass and he kisses her, and somehow everything seems just as it should be. And he likes that just fine.