We're going on a Smurf Hunt
By Uncle Gargy
(chorus)
We're going on a Smurf hunt, We're going on a Smurf hunt.
Gonna catch at least a dozen, gonna catch at least a dozen
We're not scared, we're not scared.
It's the Smurfs who should be scared, oh they should be petrified!
(Verse 1)
Oh, look, grass! Horrid stuff gives me allergies
We can't go over it, we can't go under it,
Oh NO!
We gotta go through it.
Achoo! Curse my nose! Achoo! Achoo!
Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! It's not fair!
***Repeat the chorus***
(Verse 2)
Oh, look a river! A horrid wet river.
We can't go over it, we can't go under it
Oh, NO!
We gotta go through it, Azrael get off my head!
Splutter! Splash! Splutter! Splash!
Splash!, Splutter!, Splash!, Splutter!
***Repeat the chorus***
(Verse 3)
Oh look, mud! Wondrous, glutinous mud.
We can't go over it, we can't go under it.
Oh, NO!
We gotta go through it and no, I will not carry you Azrael!
Squelch! Meeroww! Squelch! How disgusting!
Meeroww! Squelch! How horrid! Squelch!
***Repeat the chorus***
(Verse 4)
Oh look, the Smurf's forest, we can't be far Azrael.
We can't go over it, we can't go under it.
We gotta find that village! Don't mind the briars you scaredy cat.
Tangle! Trip! Scratch! Ouch!
Trip! Scratch! Ouch! Tangle!
***Repeat chorus***
Oh look, a Smurfberry bush, they'll be along very soon.
We can't go over it, we can't go over it.
We gotta go through it, the best way to hide ourselves my feline friend.
Push! Squeeze Push! Stoop!
Push! Squeeze! Stoop! Push!
***Repeat chorus***
Oh look, I see some Smurfs they are headed this way.
We can't move a muscle!
Holding our breath! Holding our breath! Holding our breath!
I think I'm gonna faint, I'm sure I'm going to, Not feeling so good!
Oh, what's that?
More of them?
The whole village and they are carrying pitchforks and flaming torches!
They look so angry and why are they staring at us Azrael?
There is no way they can see us...
Oh, you silly cat, you left your tail on show.
They will barbecue us for sure. Run for your life!
Quick! Back out of the bush.
Push! Stoop! Squeeze! Push!
Stoop! Push! Squeeze! Push!
Back through the Smurf's forest
Tangle! Ouch! Scratch! Trip!
Ouch! Scratch! Trip! Tangle!
Back through the mud.
Squelch! How horrid! Squelch! Meeroww!
How disgusting! Squelch! Meeroww! Squelch!
Back through the river.
Splutter! Splash! Splutter! Splash!
Splash! Splutter! Splash! Oh how I hate those Smurfs!
Back through the grass.
It's not fair! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!
Achoo! I swear my revenge! Achoo!
Run to the hovel, fumble with the lock. Aargh!
Why won't it open? Are they chasing us?
Finally it opens
Run inside!
OH WAIT!
We forgot to shut the door
back to the door!
Shut the door, plunk!
Lock it, clink!
Back inside, run up the stairs
Look outside, there are all outside the hovel
But now we're scared
Very scared!
Only one thing for it!
Jump into bed and pull up the covers
Lets take our chances with the bed bugs,
They have no bite as terrible as a village full
of angry Smurfs
The moral of this tale is :
Don't ever mess with the Smurfs or else!