title: Monster
word count: 682
chapter warnings: possibly OOC, language
disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basket (else this would just be fleshed out in canon) or its characters. I do not own the song lyrics used at the beginning of each chapter.
A/N: inspired by the many songs on my iPod titled "Monster". I assigned one song to each gom member and wrote a little "drabble" on it. Enjoy!

Murasakibara

I feel it deep within; it's just beneath the skin. I must confess that I feel like a monster.
I hate what I've become. The darkness has just begun. I must confess that I feel like a monster.
-Skillet (Monster)

He doesn't know how it starts. Maybe it's just his personality.

He generally doesn't like people. People are annoying, with the different ways that they talk and act and even walk. He especially hates excitable people—like Kise-chin; why won't he shut up? He doesn't like people who take pride in what they do, or who try to push their opinions on him—like Mine-chin and Kuro-chin; stop talking. People who act like they're perfect or are too controlling also get on his nerves—like Mido-chin and Aka-chin.

He doesn't like any of them, really. But he pretends to be civil and only gets in fights when they ask for it. He's surprised Kuro-chin dares to butt heads with him more often than anyone else—always defending his love of basketball. It makes him sick.

Basketball isn't something to be loved; it's something to do if you're good—and Kuro-chin is not good. As such, Kuro-chin should stop preaching. Honestly, it's annoying. He is better than Kuro-chin, and he hates basketball. So obviously loving the sport doesn't matter.

To prove his point, he's made it a personal goal to completely crush all of them—utterly and entirely. They're practically begging for it anyway, what with Mine-chin's, "The only one who can beat me is me." and Mido-chin's perfect shots. He likes to see Kise-chin cry and Aka-chin needs to be put down. Then Kuro-chin will learn.

Mine-chin is sick one day, and he offers to play one-on-one with Kise-chin instead. The other is surprised (shocked, even), but accepts nonetheless. When he inevitably beats Kise-chin, he's disappointed with the blond's reaction. "Once more! I have to beat you if I want to beat Aominecchi!" How insulting. He refuses and leaves.

Mido-chin refuses any one-on-ones. He's too busy perfecting his shots.

Mine-chin gives a weird excuse and leaves when he asks.

And then there's Aka-chin. Ah, that had been fun. See what loving something a little too much can do? He's to blame for twisting Aka-chin unrecognizably; he's the one who shook the captain to the very core with the prospect of losing. Kuro-chin actually looks unsure. He's the one who turned Aka-chin into a monster.

And he couldn't be any more proud of himself.

Everything is fine for a while. Yosen's okay. He meets Muro-chin and they become close—or, at least, as close as he's willing to get to someone who loves basketball so much. His other teammates are… alright.

They're an unstoppable force—the Shield of Aegis. Their defense is impenetrable.

Or rather, they thought it was.

Somehow the unorthodox styles of the Seirin team had managed to beat them—Kuro-chin had beaten him.

It stings. He's honestly shocked. He doesn't know what to do with himself—he's never lost before. But there Kuro-chin is, sharing high fives with his other stupid teammates. And there's Kiyoshi even, grinning like he's won the lottery, or maybe it's more like a father's smile when he son comes back from a lengthy, deadly war…

Whatever. He certainly doesn't care. It's not like… like he liked basketball anyway. Wasn't he just about ready to throw the towel in moments ago?

So why is he crying?

Belatedly, he realizes that yes, basketball held a large place in his heart. And he didn't hate it; he… kinda liked it. Okay, more than kinda (not that he's going to admit it out loud after all the shit he's said). And now, as he walks out of the stadium, he realizes what he's done.

He ruined Aka-chin. And he can't take that back.

Muro-chin is talking softly to him, saying meaningless things that he clings to. Muro-chin doesn't ridicule him for continuing to cry, doesn't roll his eyes for being such a baby. Instead he just does his best to comfort him. It's more than a monster like him deserves.