South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
Cartman tore off the ticket attached to the letter. Reunion, eh? That'd be interesting. He hadn't seen Stan, Kyle, or Kenny for years—at least, he hadn't talked to them. Much. Except for the occasional insult, the passing of notes, there had been zero communication between the four kids—if they could be called that by now.
At twenty eight, Cartman was a single dad.
That's right. Cartman had a child. Stuff that up your ass.
Eleanor Cartman was only seven years old. She was the product of a stripper and Cartman, with her chestnut colored hair and brown eyes. She wasn't fat like her father. He wasn't fat anymore, anyway. What tubby lard he had in numerous bags hanging from his stomach was now evenly distributed, the rest burnt.
He checked his watch. That was today.
"Ellie! Get dressed, you piece of shit!"
"Fuck you, dad, I'm busy!"
"Doing what?!"
"I'm busy saving the world from the Drow Elves! Leave me alone, Deeed!"
Cartman stormed upstairs and swung the door open. Eleanor's hair was in a messy, gooey ponytail that hung way down her ankles. Her skin was visibly oily, and her hands were busy on the controller.
"Dammit, child!" Cartman swore. "You're coming with meh!"
Eleanor screamed as Cartman paused the game and grabbed a sticky arm, hauling her to the bathroom. He tore a towel from the shelf, filled the tub, and plopped his daughter in.
"Where the hell are we going, anyway?"
"You're gonna meet mah old friends," Cartman said, grinning.
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
"Mom!" Lenny's blonde hair spilled from under his dark green hood. "There's a letter for you!"
Lizzy McCormick stepped downstairs, running a towel through her hair. "Who from, kid?" She asked.
"Someone named Mr. Mackey?" Lenny had a hard time pronouncing the name. At nine, Lenny was a carbon copy of his father, minus the ratty look. Lizzy went forward and took the letter from her son's hands. After a moment of looking it over, she smiled. "This isn't for me, sweetie. This is for your father. Do you think you can go up and give it to him?" Lenny nodded obediently and took the letter.
"Oh, and check on your baby sister, please? I love you," Lizzy called up.
"Got it!"
He went up the stairs and swerved to the right to open the door. There she was, Katherine, sleeping peacefully in the crib. The lamp hung over her head, secured to the wall, and she was wrapped peacefully in a soft green blanket. Lenny peered over the crib and placed a kiss on her forehead, then went to his father.
"Hey, kid," Kenny said happily, reaching to ruffle his hair. He swept off his glasses. "What's that?"
"It's for you," Lenny replied.
Kenny read the paper over. Then, grinning, he called:
"Get dressed, kids!"
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
"Dad."
"What the fuck do you want?" Craig tucker peered over the side at his son, Raven.
"Well fuck, dad, it's a present from Man-bear-pig. It's a letter for you," he said, proudly flipping him off. Raven was ten, wearing his father's faded chullo hat with the yellow poofball missing and a dark red coat. "If we're gonna go, we're gonna be late if you don't get your ass up. It's 5:30."
Craig scowled at him. "Heidi! We've gotta get going!" He rose from the couch and roughly ruffled his son's hair, then proceeded to the shower for a quick bath.
Everyone. Everyone would be there-all his friends, the old gang, and kids. Damn.
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
Kyle smiled at the letter. How long had it been? Very long, that was for sure.
His Jew-fro had been tamed over the years, now falling into soft curls that framed his face. He wasn't married, much to his mother's disappointment, but lived with his now 23-year old brother Ike.
He was definitely going to go.
"Ike?" He called.
His Canadian brother peered from the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"Come on bud, we've gotta go," he said. Ike nodded and tumbled out of the kitchen, a pancake stuffed in his mouth.
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
"Gaaaaah! Reunion?! I haven't seen my...my friends in years!" Tweek twitched uncontrollably. "Tylerrr! –ngh- Get dressed!"
Tyler came twitching out from under the counter, a juicy cup of coffee in his hands. "Yes, dad?"
"We're going to take a drive! It's gonna be pretty long! What if you need to pee? Pee now! Pee now! Get dressed, too! Oh jeez, what if you dress too thinly?! Bundle up!" He flailed his arms as he shot up the stairs in hyper speed, swinging the door open to his room. "Nggggggggh! Annie!"
Annie looked up. "What is it?"
"Reunion!"
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
"This sounds nice," Stan said to himself. He took the ticket from the letter and tossed the rest in the bin. "Wendy?"
His wife waved from the kitchen table, furiously munching on a piece of cake. Her rounded stomach poked out from under the table. "Yes?"
"You wanna come to the Reunion with me?" He asked, bending to peck his wife's cheek. "It shouldn't be long."
"Sounds good, sweetie."
South Park: Class Reunion!
Held at South Park High School at Saturday 6:51 pm in the evening!
Fun guaranteed. Now is the time to regain lost memories and bond!
Sincerely, Mr. Mackey
Token Black hummed as he swiped the ticket from the letter and pulled on his purple jacket. He'd be damned if he wasn't going to go. "Nicky, get dressed, please? We're going to go to the reunion," he called to Nicole. He peered up the stairs to make sure his pregnant wife got down safely. Nicole chuckled. "You're such a bundle of worrying, Token," she told him fondly.