A/N: Setting: AU: Konoha Police Dept.

RATING: Language! (Plus, I don't write for kids. Sorry.)


Double or Nothing

Chapter One: The Wager

To Wager: to risk something on the outcome of a future event. Also called a "bet."

The cake was mostly eaten, the streamers were falling down, and the hurry-up-half-assed sign that said "Good Luck, Captain" was sagging pitifully from the ceiling. Kakashi Hatake thought it might be one of the best things he had seen during his long career on the force. He adjusted the scarf around his neck and over his nose in preparation for facing the snow whirling outside of the window.

"Tch," the derisive sound was sharp in the empty room. Kakashi turned lazily to look over his shoulder at the perpetrator, taking in the ramrod straight posture, the hands fisted on hips, and the overall air of annoyance. "Gonna miss this wreck?" the man eyed the remnants of the celebration critically.

Kakashi looked over the room with his good eye and adjusted his eye patch slightly. He had been on the Konoha Police force for many years now, and in his time as head of investigations, had seen more cases closed successfully than any preceding captain. "A man can get burnt out in our line of work," he shrugged, "but yeah. I'm going to miss it."

"Going to go spend your retirement on some beach reading your dirty novels?" the younger man asked dryly.

"Ne, ne," he waved his hands, his eye crinkling in a smile. "I'm just going for a month or two to stay with an old friend. I'm coming back to Konoha to work as a consulting detective on a freelance basis." He looked over his subordinate carefully. "It is time for some new blood to direct the Department," he said frankly. "That's why I recommended that you be promoted to Captain."

"Me?" the man asked, clearly taken aback.

"You are the most intuitive of our agents, and have the respect of our division. You will do well," he slung his satchel over his shoulder. "You aren't going to refuse, are you Detective?" he asked, head turned to the side.

The younger officer looked up to his Captain, and knew he really only had one response to give. "No."

"Good!" The older man clapped him on the back. "The rest of the gang is meeting for a drink at Ichiraku. Come meet us when you get off shift in a couple of hours. That is an order, Detective," the senior officer directed, cutting off any objections before they could be voiced.

"Ah," the Detective gave a half smile.

"Good man." Kakashi gave a curt nod as he headed to the door. "Night shift will eat the rest of the cake," he called over his shoulder. "See you later, Sasuke."

The door closed behind him, and Officer Uchiha Sasuke watched his captain, teacher, and friend walk out into a cold, already dark Konoha winter night and out of his department as captain for the last time. Instinctively, he checked the time. 7:39 PM. His shift would be over at 9:00, and he had some reports to finish.

He didn't get to those reports.

A lightning-fast percussive eruption of gunshots, breaking glass, and squealing tires rang through the hall, forcing him to take cover. As soon as the air no longer hummed with the cacophony of gunfire, Detective Uchiha Sasuke sprang to his feet and raced down the hall to the now-shattered doors of the police station. The smell of gunpowder was sharp in the cold air, mixed sickeningly with metallic notes of blood. There, sprawled on the steps of the Konoha Police Department was Kakashi, quickly being surrounded by a growing stain of crimson snow.

Sasuke snapped his head around and caught the faint trace of taillights speeding away and almost, insensibly, raced after the car when a low, guttural groan froze him in place.

He breathed a sharp curse as he dropped to his senior officer's side and turned him over hastily searching for a pulse and assessing the severity of the injuries.

"What was that?" a familiar voice came quickly down the hall. "Uchiha – what; Holy shit, - Captain?!"

"Call the ambulance, NOW!" Sasuke bit over his shoulder.

"On it," the officer said grimly. "Akamaru – stay with the captain," he directed his large, white dog as he raced back into the building to get medical supplies, dialing 911 on his phone. The dog did as he was told, and positioned himself between the man and the street, his fur on end as he loomed large against any potential threat.

"Good boy," Sasuke muttered, hands rapidly going over the captain's body.

The sound of equipment dully hitting snow echoed next to him, but he didn't even look up as another pair of hands darted into view, accompanied by a decidedly unladylike "Holy fuck, old man." Sasuke looked up to Tenten who was pulling a blanket out of the emergency response bag to cover him. "When you said we all needed EMT training, you didn't say you were going to give us a fucking practical on the steps of the station."

A cough and what might have been a rusty laugh rumbled from Kakashi's chest, splattering his scarf with blood. Tenten ripped the scarf back as she and Sasuke worked quickly to identify and bind what wounds they could. They moved in electrified silence and with breathtaking speed, speaking only when they needed to. Sasuke counted a heavily bleeding but superficial graze to the temple, an open and bleeding lip from where his face hit the stairs, a deep graze through the top of Kakashi's left arm, and a heavily bleeding wound in the right thigh that probably shattered his bone. "Stay with me, Captain," Tenten urged Kakashi as she pressed and taped gauze to his forehead. "You are too tough for this to take you down." She scooped clean snow into a bit of gauze and had Kakashi use his good hand to hold it to his lip. Her expression was grimly determined as she cut the fabric away from his leg. She darted a look up to her fellow officer and then to the captain's chest. Sasuke nodded and ripped open the man's shirt, relieved to see his bullet proof vest had done its job.

"Probably some cracked ribs," he muttered, closing the shirt. Tenten then flicked her eyes to Kakashi's bleeding arm, and the Sasuke snatched up the man's scarf to apply pressure while she examined the wound on his thigh. It was large, bleeding heavily, and probably had a bullet lodged in the bone.

"You remember what you told me when I joined the force?" she asked, her hands moving with sharp, efficient motions. "You told me we don't let our comrades die. You told me it didn't matter that I grew up with no parents, and came in off of the streets with a shady and extensive knowledge of weaponry. You told me it didn't matter that I was the only girl. You told me I wasn't alone anymore and that we are family. You told me you were going to be here," she bit out before taking a deep breath to calm herself. Sasuke watched her fight off the threat of tears. She was not an emotional woman, even if she was an excitable one. The only time he had seen something even close to tears on her was when she took a knife wound to the side, and even then, they were involuntary. He found himself relieved that she continued dry-eyed and with steel in her voice.

"You didn't open your present from me yet, did you?" she asked, trying to keep him engaged.

He feebly shook his head back and forth, his eyes sagging closed.

"Then you don't have time to fucking die," she bit out tersely as she pressed her body weight to the wound on his leg, quickly binding the absorbent pad in place as she wrapped a roll of gauze around and around his thigh.

"La…language, Officer," he labored before coughing again.

"I'll never fucking say fuck again if you just cofuckingoperate and don't fucking die," she ground out, earning an arched eyebrow from Sasuke. Tenten was known to have one of the most colorful and inventive vocabularies on the force when provoked. She normally resorted to a strategically thrown weapon as a warning, but when she let it fly, her cursing was legendary and imaginative.

"It's worth surviving just to piss her off," Sasuke advised, as he held the scarf on his Captain's bleeding arm with one hand and scrounged in the medical bag with the other.

"That's right," she said, tying off the binding at his leg. She moved to tend his arm while swatting Sasuke's hand away from the bag and digging out the materials she needed. "And do you want to know why I am so absofuckinglutely sure that you won't dare even think about doing something as fanfuckingtastically stupid as dying?" she asked as "Because I might be the only female officer on the team, but I am the only one with the cojones to actually go out and find you the perfectly most afuckingmazing present, and I have been waiting to see your squinty-patch-eyed-shit-eating grin for months now." Sasuke knew she was trying to keep him awake, but found himself slightly intrigued. She darted a glance at him. "And you are shit-fuckin-lucky that it's son-of-a-bitch-frozen-ass-won't-tell-anyone-shit-Uchiha sitting out here in this god-blasted-ass-awful snow with us, or I wouldn't be able to tell you."

Kakashi's eyes were beginning to glaze over as his junior officers passed a roll of gauze between them and forced it under the gap between his back and the stairs to bind it across his chest and stabilize his arm to his side. Sasuke gave her a brief nod as he tied it off and checked his pulse. "We're losing him," he muttered harshly, wondering if he should risk further cracking his ribs with chest compressions when Tenten reached over to grab the lapels of Kahashi's coat sharply and dragged his face to hers.

"Now you listen here you no-good-pervy-assed old man," she growled, her teeth clenched and her nose against his. "Those other officers of yours are too god-damned-chicken-shit-sons-of-pansy-assed-panda-bear-bitches to even walk into a certain section of a book store, but this hard-assed-little-girl took a solo mission and went directly to the motherfucking source. Do you know what it takes to get a pre-releasef signed copy of the Ichi Ichi anthology and the hot off the press brand-spankin-new-once-in-a-life-time new work by your all-fucking-time-favorite even-pervyier-than-you-legendary-woman-chasing author Jiraiya?"

His breath hitched and his good eye widened ever so slightly. Sasuke's anger was palpable, but she ignored it as she lowered her voice to where the even Uchiha would have to struggle to hear her. "It takes tracking down the perviest writer on the planet, and giving him an envelope containing the world's-tiniest-most-pathetic-excuse for a bikini in the history of forfuckinever. Then you tell him you will trade the second envelope with pictures of you wearing the world's-tiniest-most-pathetic-excuse for a bikini in the history of forfuckinever for the goods. Hell, you even let him keep the world's-tiniest-most-pathetice-xcuse for a bikini in the history of forfuckinever, because it isn't like you are going to need to wear it – or almost wear it – ever afuckingain. That earns you an extra nosebleed and a promise that a signed copy of the next book is going to be delivered directly to your Captain upon release. You understand what I'm telling you Kakashi? I don't own a dress, old man. I don't wear anything that isn't pants or training gear. Do you know the kind of prepwork that goes into putting on that kind of insanity? There are women at a salon that have seen more of me than god or my doctor. And as for actually being photographed? I would willingly and gleefully kick the everlovingshit out of anyone that looked at me sideways while castrating them with a rusty kunai and stuffing their goods down their throat." she growled. "And did I risk it for that we-wont-say-his-name-but-you-know-because-I-swear-you-spiked-my-fucking-thirteenth-drink-at-last-years-new-years-party man that I probably-definitely-love-but-refuckingfuse-to-tell-him? Nope. I took the risk because that is what it took to get fucking best present for the best-crazy-ass-mother-of-a-captain in the world. So." She narrowed her eyes at him. "You are not going to leave us in this Mongolian clusterfuck of a mess with no clues, no witnesses, and no one to read these books and the one that is still fucking being written because they were too busy fucking dying on the steps of the Konoha Police Department. You'd better just stay with us, you pervyassoneeyedwonderjerk, because I don't have time for this bullshit." Sasuke watched in amazement as Kakashi's color improved somewhat and he nodded slowly.

"Yes, Ma'am," Kakashi harshed out, a tiny trickle of blood forming at his nose. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. What had she said that caused that oh-so-familiar symptom? The sound of an ambulance cut through the air, and a wave of relief washed over Tenten's face as she looked to her fellow officer.

"Thank God," she muttered. "Not a single fucking word, Uchiha," she warned him.

He arched an eyebrow. Did she really think he wanted to end up on the receiving end of one of her tirades? She may have ground rules like never using the "c" or "p" word, and only use 'mother' + 'any combination of 'fuck'' sparingly but he knew better than to aggravate anyone that had the kind of aim she had.

"Hn," was all he said as he looked behind him. Kiba was standing there with an armful of blankets and coats, extending his free hand to Tenten.

"How long have you been there," Tenten narrowed her eyes at him as she stood up.

"Here," He draped an emergency blanket over her shivering shoulders before handing one to Sasuke to replace the now-bloodied one Tenten had brought out. "You're going to need this. Hold these," he shoved a coat and a messenger bag into her hands before nodding to Sasuke. "Uchiha – I'll help you move him." Tenten stood, her knees beginning to shake and she forcibly shoved down what she knew was going to be the adrenaline aftershock. The back door of the ambulance flew open and Kiba and Sasuke helped lift Kakashi onto the gurney and into the ambulance.

"I'm going with him," Sasuke took his coat and satchel from Tenten. He darted an appreciative look at Kiba who nodded. Tenten started to follow. He took one look at her bloody clothes and hands and shook his head.

"Stay here," he told her. "Get cleaned up and then follow to the hospital."

Tenten ignored him and swung up into the ambulance, clutching the blanket to keep from shaking. She leaned over Kakashi's face as the medics secured the gurney.

"Remember, Old Man," she said putting a surprisingly gentle hand to his shoulder. "I've got cofuckinglatteral on you. Don't do anything so unforfuckingforgivable as dying."

"L-Language," he said before resting back on the gurney.

She kissed the top of his head quickly. "Double or nothing, Captain – come back and you get the unopened present and I'll retire my favorite word. I hate to lose, but in your case," she smiled wryly, "I'll make an exception. See you in a bit." She looked up to Sasuke.

"Watch over him," she said quietly, and he was struck by the odd mix of determination and fear that played across her blood-splattered face. He wasn't one for words, and she knew it. She knew his sharp nod in response meant he wasn't going to leave the Captain's side.

"C'mon, Officer – we've got work to do," Kiba held up his hand to her.

Tenten was surprised when Kiba lifted her by the waist to bring her down from the ambulance, keeping an arm around her as he set her on her feet. She was even more surprised to find that she needed it. He adjusted the blanket tighter around her shoulders and stood behind her, rubbing her arms briskly and letting her lean against him. They watched as the ambulance doors closed and the vehicle streaked into the night, the flash of lights and the wail of the siren bouncing off of the buildings as it winded out of sight. She turned reluctantly to go inside and almost passed out at the sight of the blood spattered steps, the crimson snow, and the discarded orange blanket mottled with blood. So. Much. Blood.

Kiba shot an arm around to steady her. He pulled her against him as her body began to shake, while Akamaru whined and leaned his warm body against her leg. "It's ok, Tenten," he said quietly. "The Captain is going to make it."

"He'd fucking better," she muttered, holding back tears.

Kiba leaned over and tsked in her ear "Language."


A/N:

I started toying with the idea of a connected but not continuous series of one-shot/two shot stories about an AU Konoha Police Department as prep for different storyline I have in mind. This particular story started off as an intro to a completely different story, then became a quick vignette, and is now going to be its own independent story. Not planning on making this a super long one; just a change of pace while I hash out more for 'You Must Believe in Spring,' (which is not a little story.) Thanks for reading! - Giada

UPDATED 7/19: Now, with hyphenated profanity for easier reading!