Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Kuroko is an artist just waiting for a muse. [GoMxFem!Kuroko] [College AU] [All mistakes are mine, and constructive criticism is always welcomed]

** Important notes at bottom **

Edit 2/20/15 - I only edited a few words and weird sentences. Not a full revamp, but a little spring cleaning here and there. lol

Edit 10/11/15 - Did some more editing, nothing major. Changed a few sentences and the whatnot. Oh and I renamed the fic from "Shadow of Humanity" to "Natsukashii."

"Art is nothing more than the shadow of humanity."

— Henry James

x

x

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; melancholy

There is nothing poetic about being misunderstood. There are no beautiful words to cover up the unpleasant scars of loneliness. There is no art form in which these human emotions can be conveyed correctly. Artists may try, but in the end they will always fail. Because to an outsider it's nothing more than a metaphor, a story, or an emotion they had felt for a fleeting moment.

But to those who do get the message, well, it inspires them.

[ x . x . x ]

2nd year High School

"I'm home," a young girl called out, not expecting anyone to answer. After all it was only once in a blue moon that someone actually did. So in the stead of her parents the sound of silence greeted her warmly, and the darkness hugged her home.

She was used it really, scarily in fact, the constant drone of silence. What once made her nervous soon became the thing she sought refuge in. It was almost as if the sound – or rather lack of - came to be her protector toward all things malicious.

Silently she walked up a flight of stairs and into her room - as if it could be called that anymore. Along the off-white walls of her room, her bed was pushed in a far off corner in neglect, while an easel with a half-finished painting stood in the center. A dark wooden desk could be seen along the opposite wall of the bed with multitudes of watercolors and Prisma colored pencils sprawled on top of it.

With a cat like grace Tetsuna dropped her bag by the door and then walked toward the easel. She brushed her hand against the canvas, feeling where the colors literally popped out of picture.

'I applied the purple here too thickly,' she cringed at her poor judgment and began inspecting the painting once more. The longer she looked at it the more she started to hate it.

It was always like that though. The constant tug of war between satisfaction and a need for something better. Tetsuna had hoped she'd grown out of that, but as said by an English proverb, 'old habits die hard.'

The sound of a door opening downstairs broke her concentration, and left a ghost of a grimace on her lips. Quickly she took the painting off the easel and set it by the window to dry in the sun light. She then replaced with a brand new canvas with pencil markings on it.

"I'm home," a voice repeated what she had spoken just a few minutes earlier. Tetsuna then heard the loud thump of a bag being dropped and the footsteps of someone walking up the stairs. The sound stopped however in front of her room.

Knock Knock

She didn't answer, knowing her efforts would be in vain anyway, so she simply sat on the stool in front of her latest project and waited. A few moments had to have passed before the door opened with an annoying whine.

"Tetsuna, are you here?" a boy with pale brown hair stood in the frame of her doorway, scanning the area for her. Unsurprisingly he didn't. "Mom and dad won't be home tonight, so I'm making dinner. It'll be ready in an hour."

"I'm sorry but I won't be eating with you tonight, I have to study." He flinched, years of knowing her and he still was not used to her trick.

"Oh, it's alright," the dejection in his voice was obvious, "Just make sure you eat before going to sleep okay?"

She hummed in response, looking past his shoulder as to not have to look at his melancholy face. He sighed quietly and moved out of the doorway and closed the door behind him.

She let out a quiet lament of relief, and turned around to face her canvas. The guilt she felt for lying to him but it soon subsided when she reasoned with herself that he didn't really want her company. He just wanted someone to sit next to. After all, he had never asked her to sit with him when company was around.

Kuroko was only useful when no other option was available, and she knew it.

(*´∀`*)

The bluenette woke up the next morning to a pounding in her head, and a sore neck. Apparently she had fallen asleep while working on another sketch, evidence provided by the ink marks that transferred onto her cheek.

She rose from her desk and walked toward the bathroom, only to be met with a horrifying sight. She had barely moved the whole night, and yet her hair still looked like a birds nest. It had to be a curse, it was the only explanation. No one else in her family had this problem.

Kuroko then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to tame the thing she had to call hair. In a last ditch effort to make it look nice she quickly threw her hair up into a bun, hoping to conceal a part of her hair that she couldn't quite make look presentable.

In the end it looked okay, but it didn't bother her too much. No one was going to notice it anyway, but it felt nice trying to look good even if it was for herself.

"Good morning Okaa-san, Otou-san," the deep voice of her brother resonated though the air as she descended the stairs.

He was sitting at the table with their mother, and when Kuroko approached the table their father stood up. The older man grabbed his suit jacket, kissed his wife on the cheek, and ruffled Haru's hair. The bluenette watched the scene unfold and a twinge of hurt rippled across her heart.

"Aren't you forgetting Tetsuna?" her brother asked while looking at her. She frowned, a bit surprised.

"She's still sleeping," he replied automatically. "I heard her working on something until late last night. She probably needs some rest."

Her brother was about to object but their father left before he could. Their mother calmly closed her eyes and tsked. Kuroko grabbed for the eggs on the table and plopped them onto her plate, trying to ignore her mother's condescending tone.

"Tetsuna is always working on her paintings. She needs to get out more. God knows what the paint fumes are doing to her brain," their mother hummed in thought and resumed sipping on her tea. Kuroko clenched her fists, but didn't let her frustration show on her face.

She ate her food quickly and headed for the door, trying to avoid the attention of her brother. She didn't want him walking to school with her. Slipping on her shoes she then called out to her mother and brother.

"Good bye, Haru, Okaa-san."

(*´∀`*)

On her way to school though Kuroko made a pit stop at the convenience store where she quickly bought a bag of small vanilla candies.

She stuffed the bag inside her satchel, and proceeded with her journey to school, forgetting about the letter and the sketch of a picture at the bottom of her carrier.

(*´∀`*)

"Akiyama Mayumi."

"Here."

"Aomine Daiki."

The class was silent, and the teacher let out a long sigh. That would be the sixth time his student skipped class. The administrators were starting to breath down his neck and he could do nothing about it. He had threatened the kid with lowering grades, expulsion, and even getting kicked out of the basketball team.

His reaction? He had simply laughed at the prospect and nonchalantly walked away.

The teacher grumbled while marking his name as absent and continued with the list until he came across the name 'Kuroko Tetsuna.' He called the name out a few times before deciding she wasn't there.

'Great, I have another delinquent,' the teacher mentally cursed his luck and bid good-bye to his job.

"I'm right here Sensei."

As if in a trance the whole room went quiet while they all stared at the girl at the front of the classroom. Kuroko was uneasy, being the center of attention for once. She hadn't really wanted to get up, but after being called absent for a week she had gotten fed up with it.

"H-how long have you been there for?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"I've been here the whole time," that line was starting to become her catchphrase.

"You should have spoken up," Kuroko let out a deep breath and nodded her head in understanding before walking back to her desk next to a certain tanned skinned boy, but completely ignored him in favor of listening to the lecture.

(*´∀`*)

"Wah~ Kise-kun you're so cool!" All the girls sang in adoration with hearts in their eyes. It was creepy, but if he said anything about it their opinions on him would change so he remained silent.

"I heard you were dating Mayumi-san, Kise-kun. Please tell me it's a lie, I'm so much better than her~" A young female spoke with sugary charisma and a dangerous gleam to her smile. She sat on his desk and gave him a puppy dog look she knew he would never be able to ignore.

"Ah, I'm afraid it's true~" He winked and gave a thoughtful far away look. "Should I dump her for you?"

The brunette quickly nodded her head yes before walking around his desk and sitting on his lap. His hands fell nicely at her waist and she giggled. The other patrons of the scene before them could only gasp before squealing in delight or utter horror.

A certain bluenette sat at her desk and ate rice while reading a book, trying to ignore the scene. That was until she peaked over the top of the pages to see what was causing all the clamor and was met with golden eyes.

Kuroko watched him in fascination as he seamlessly flirted with man and woman in his vicinity. She observed as his eyes flickered with dark amusement and his lips curled into an exceptionally realistic smile. If she hadn't known better she would have thought it to be real.

She dismissed his behavior and went back to reading the last pages of her book, knowing full well she didn't have the right to tell him to stop faking a grin.

After all, she didn't like to be called a hypocrite.

(*´∀`*)

Kuroko had a free period after Japanese History.

She usually spent that time in the library to get caught up with that night's homework, or read her latest book. And since she had finished her book during lunch she decided she needed to pick up another.

The bluenette pushed the book into the return slot, and then proceeded into the historical fiction aisle. She mindlessly pulled a few novels out, reading the backside and then putting them back in place. After doing that a few more times she decided it was time to move onto a new genre.

Kuroko wandered into the fiction section and began the process once more.

"Do you need a book suggestion? You've been pacing for a while and it's disrupting my studying," she looked up and saw a boy with fern green hair. (1) Her eyes widened only a fraction of a centimeter before she schooled her face back into its default expression. How had he seen her?

"I'm sorry, I'll try to be quieter."

"You didn't answer my question," Kuroko hesitated to answer but did so nonetheless.

"It would be much appreciated."

"What was the last book you've read."

"The Way of All Flesh," he stopped and looked at her with a questioning gaze before walking behind the shelf. When he came back he held two books in his hand, one by Vonnegut (2) and the other McCullers.

She took the books tentatively and bowed, "Thank you…."

"Midorima Shintarō."

"Thank you Midorima -san," he nodded and went to sit back down leaving Kuroko speculating at what just happened.

Overturning the books she read the backside of each and decided on the one by McCullers It wasn't that she didn't like sad stories; she just didn't have the motivation to read about World War II.

Kuroko walked up the counter to check out her book and waited five minutes before someone noticed her. The librarian took the book she was holding with a 'Sorry dear, I didn't see you there,' and placed it under the scanner. Knowing the routine Kuroko took out her student I.D and handed it to the lady.

After she was done Kuroko walked back to her seat and made herself comfy. She had forty five minutes left of 5th period and she was determined to finish the first chapter.

"In the town there were two mutes, and they were always together."

(*´∀`*)

It was the time of day where most found themselves alone with their thoughts. Their minds left to wander wherever it pleased without people knowing or breaking them out of their daze. Most liked to stay in their reverie, but others could not handle the silence it brought.

Kuroko found herself still at school an hour after classes ended in the library. The school stayed open three hours after for extracurricular activities, and staff meetings, so they had no reason to kick her out quiet yet.

On normal days she would have headed straight home, but she wanted to be in an atmosphere that didn't make her feel as solitary. The library seemed no better than home, but it was the factor of familiarity that made her decision.

It hurt less to be ignored by people she didn't know than by the people she did.

"Seijuro-san, the principal would like to talk to you. He said it was urgent," a voice called out near her table, startling her. Had he always been there? A boy with red hair and matching eyes stood up and nodded his head, dismissing the messenger.

The surprised bluenette looked away from her reading for the second time that day and watched as he slowly moved toward the door.

He was short, but probably taller than she. His posture was magnificent and it seemed as though he knew no other way to walk; shoulders square, back straight, with a head held high, and eyes that looked down haughtily it made him look like the leader he was.

One would have to be a fool not to notice their school's president.

Kuroko shook her head in disappointment and resumed 'The Heart is a Lonely Hunter,' once more. Akashi was in every aspect what she expected him to be (from what she observed.); a no-nonsense kind of boy with a bit of contempt hidden well. After all he had to make sure he was well liked, and if that didn't work out fear was always the next best option. He had both going for him.

Time went by fast after that and in the blink of an eye it was six. She packed up her belongings and walked out the building with the book in hand.

(*´∀`*)

The next year passed by with no major happenings in her life. She was still ignored by most, and found solace in books. She still painted, but with less frequency and passion. She was still on the lookout for a chance to become someone, and was met the routine that controlled her life.

What wasn't a 'still' though was her future. Nothing could ever prepare her for what was to come.

Not even fate.

1. You will not believe how long it took me to find an okay color description for Midorima's hair.

2. The Books Metioned:

Slaughter House Five ((World War II ))

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter ((Coming of age, Southern-fiction))

The Way of All Flesh ((Semi-autobiography))

IMPORTANT NOTES

This story is more on the characters than on the plot – Although I am not saying there won't be plot, I'm just warning that it's not too plot heavy. I really wanted to do better characterizations and such so that's the main reason for this story.

The other point I have to make is that Kuroko is a female because someone requested it. They PM'ed me back in Feb. and I haven't responded till now. I'm sorry if you would prefer Male Kuroko.

This is a GoMxKuroko with a final pairing of KurokoxUnknown. I don't know myself to be honest.

I have all my main plot points, character backgrounds, and scenes I want incorporated, but from there I'm free writing. Go Annie.

Anyway, please review and the like. Although I would jump with joy to have people favorite and follow my work, reviews make me much more inspired.

Thank You!