...How long had it been?

The world was dark outside the windows, the lights off in the room he'd found himself in, but that didn't tell him anything. Other than cause him to wonder if, perhaps, all of his trying by tooth and nail had got him nowhere, and he was merely back where he'd started, all those weeks - or was it months, now? - ago.

He dragged himself onto his elbows, ignoring the scrapes on his arms and the rest of his body that flared up in pain as he did so, and from there onto his knees.

The spare room was, as his eyes grew used to the dark again, almost exactly as he remembered it. Except that the bag with the things his dad had been packing for him was gone, and the drawer he'd opened, the one the sword had been in, was now closed.

The sword that was now on his back, but had been drawn... if not by him.

They'd tried - wanted, at least - to break it, but apparently, whatever had sealed his demonic heart inside of it was worked too well. So now, regardless of what his father, his real father, had wanted... his ears were pointed, his teeth sharp, and his tail, a currently flaming black thing moving behind him, fire spewing from his head and the sword he'd drawn, the power necessary to break through the barrier.

He heard a noise from outside, and, heart thumping, quickly sheathed the blade so that he was no longer on fire, so that the light of his fire didn't give his position away, so that he didn't look quite so demonic.

He didn't even know if Yukio was still here, or if he'd already gone ahead to the True Cross Academy. It could be him, or it could be any one of the monks. If it was Yukio, he didn't know how he could keep this a secret. If it were one of the others...

The lump in his throat that'd been forming slowly over the past few minutes grew, as did the pressure behind his eyes. He shuffled painfully over to the wall, something to lean against - maybe if they opened the door, they'd only see yet another bit of darkness where he was - but that only made it worse, reminding him of the last time he was here, dragging himself away with all of his strength from the one who'd possessed his father, because no matter what the others said, no matter what all of the demons in Gehenna thought, it wasn't Satan. It was Father Fujimoto.

The man who'd died rather than allow Satan to have him, only to fail, in the end.

He'd been too much of a coward to draw the sword out quickly enough, he'd waited too long, and by the time the thought crossed his mind, it was too late.

Spt.

He hadn't realised that he'd started to cry, but as long as it was just tears, as long as no one heard him...

The footsteps paused outside the door. He heard hesitation.

And then, the handle creaked down, and the door, inward.

"Hello? Is someone... in here?"

Yukio. Oh, gods. It was Yukio. He couldn't- please, no, don't let him-

Panic ramped up his heart rate, and his tail twitched involuntarily, causing him to hiss from the pain.

The lights came on. He flinched away from them, eyes now used to the dark blinded, but the moment he could see-

"Nii-san...?"

Exorcist.

No-! Nonononononono...!

He tried to stand, to either open the window and jump out of it and run, or to the door, even if it took shoving past Yukio, but moving so suddenly, putting strain on muscles already pushed too far, caused oddly coloured spots to appear in his vision, and gravity to shift, the world tumbling out of focus.

"NII-SAN?! NII-SAN-"

That was odd... he was... sure... that exorcists were meant to... kill demons like... him...

...

He came to feeling strangely warm, and with a fuzzy feeling in his head, but the strangest thing was that he felt safe.

He opened his eyes blearily, to find his brother's face, green eyes watching him with care, concern, and... something else? Weird.

He closed his eyes again, wondering what that was all about. Maybe in a while, he'd wake up again, and he'd be made to go to another interview, or... something... but for now, he felt perfectly fine just like this. For now, he'd like to stay here, and not worry. So long as he didn't have to go back to the nightmare...

"...nii-san...?"

He opened his eyes again, tail twitching on something soft.

Tail.

Shit.

But before the panic could return - he could see the coat, just because it was hung over a chair didn't mean it was out of sight, he knew damn well what it meant - Yukio put one hand on Rin's shoulder, his other pushing his glasses up.

"Nii-san," he said, the concern from before hidden behind an odd professionalism that he'd never heard before, that made him wary if anything. "You shouldn't try getting up yet. You weren't out for long enough for your injuries to have healed by themselves. Whatever- whatever happened to you, it's going to take a while for you to be back to full health. At least, much longer than it would normally take, although I don't know what that would be..."

There was something Yukio wasn't telling him. And whatever it was, didn't inspire Rin to confidence. The mere fact that Yukio knew about demons - that he'd known and had never told him anything, the same as their father hadn't-

It hurt. But more than that, the reminder of how, and why, their father had died hurt more, and it was hard to stay angry and bitter after that, even though the suspicion remained.

"Are you... going to tell me what happened?"

Maybe he wasn't going to be moving from here any time soon, but the idea of telling anyone, even or especially his brother, made him want to run a mile.

"Are..." He coughed, not realising how dry his throat was, and Yukio found and passed him some water, which he eyed suspiciously. He could have put anything in there. "Are you going to tell the Vatican on me, then?"

There was something in the middle of the way Yukio's eyes widened in shock at the suggestion and then narrowed that, for some reason, made him feel like he should feel guilty for even saying the words. But he had to know.

"...You're hardly dangerous right now, are you? You can't even get out of bed."

Maybe it was supposed to be a joke, but it wasn't a funny one. Not right now, it wasn't.

"Aw, c'mon. I'm the- the terrifying son of Satan! Don't you think-" he had to pause for coughing, "that counts for something?"

He almost missed the flinch Yukio made when Rin referred to himself as such, and didn't know whether it was because it was true, or because Rin was saying it aloud, or for some other reason.

"Is that how you want people to see you?! Is it?"

"It's how they're gonna see me anyway! I've always been a demon to 'em, and now look at me! It's not like I'd be proving them wrong!"

"We thought you were dead, or on the run god knows where! And now you just reappear out of nowhere and start talking like that, what are we supposed to think?"

"Wasn't-" he cut himself off, but looked away, ending with a mumbled, "'m on the run now, though... I guess..."

Yukio, oddly enough, was silent in response to the comment for what felt like the a long time. Then, finally, he sighed, and it seemed like some of the tension, if just a little, left the room.

"Nii-san... you were gone for a week. After hearing about an incident in the town, and with father returning like he did and then both of you vanishing like that... we didn't know what to think. We... had to assume the worst."

"What," he said with a snort, "the old man dead and me trapped in Gehenna doesn't cut... it... wait, what?! One week?" He shook his head in disbelief, even if it was just an odd jerk from side to side that made the ceiling spin. "No... no, that's not right. I was gone for months... I'm sure..."

The look on Yukio's face as he turned to him, confused, was unreadable, or he just plain couldn't tell what it was. And then he was saying something, but under his breath.

"...what?"

"I..." Yukio's hands were clenched into fists, his expression dark, and for a moment Rin wondered why he wasn't feeling scared. "I should have been there. I should have...!"

And then it dawned on him.

Horror. He'd seen horror in his little brother's eyes, in his face...

"I swore, I swore that I'd be there to protect you, for when this happened-! And I wasn't there."

...

AN: A fic that's been up on my AO3 and before that my Tumblr for a while now. There are a couple of side-fics, but this is the main, important bit. And I'm not completely happy with the other bits anyway.