A/N – I beg your forgiveness for the delay in posting, RL has been a pest and my muse decided it was time for a vacation. So without further ado, here is the next update.
Previously on Darkness –
"This place is beautiful, Jasper." I sighed as I caught a faint smell of honey suckle floating on the breeze. "It reminds me of Esme, warm and inviting."
"Yes, love, she built this last year as a little get away place so that if one of the couples needed alone time, they had a place without being too far from the rest of the family. She is working to add something like this to all of our properties as we move." Jasper placed a light kiss on the top of my head as he opened the door and carried me inside.
I chuckled as he kicked the door shut behind us.
"And what has you laughing?" He asked as he moved to the couch to sit down with me in his lap.
Turning to look up into his golden eyes, I smiled at him. "You are such the gentleman, Jasper. I was just laughing at how you carried me over the threshold like we had just been married. As I had never really seen myself getting married, the concept just struck me as funny."
Jasper sighed as a flash of pain drifted through his eyes. "Isabella, I know that this is all new to you and I was not who you were expecting as your mate. I don't want to scare you but you do need to know that this is not new for me. I have had feelings for you for a long time and I think that is why Edward kept us apart like he did. Knowing that, you have me for whatever you need me for. We can go as fast or slow in our relationship as you need. I don't want you to ever feel forced into doing something or saying something that you don't feel. You are my world, Isabella, and you have my heart, body and soul to do with as you please."
I sat there with my mouth hanging open, not sure how to respond to him. The feelings that were flowing through me confused me, but I knew that Jasper is who I wanted to be with; he already made me feel whole. I just didn't know how to articulate that so he would understand.
Jasper cupped my cheek and I nuzzled his hand. "Let me take care of you and help you heal. We can live our life and save the big decisions for later. We do have an eternity to spend with each other so there is no rush. I am yours, Isabella. Will you let me love you?"
And now on Darkness –
BPOV
I was shocked at Jasper's words. Everything was just so confusing; I had all of these different thoughts flying through my brain at such a rapid pace that I couldn't keep up. Or rather I wouldn't have been able to keep up just a few days ago. It seems what Edward had said before was correct, I could think about so many different things at once with this new vamp sized brain I woke up with. Everything since I woke up kept replaying in my mind; what Alice told me, how Jasper took care of me; everything Edward said and did.
I moved off of Jasper's lap and walked over to the sliding glass door. Jasper's confusion and hurt flowed over me as I looked out over the landscaping that Esme had put in behind the cottage. I had to sort through everything before I could focus on him. I remembered all that happened before I woke up, my time with Edward and the family. I felt a white hot anger pierce through me as I thought back over Edward and all of his actions and inactions. I remembered the love that I had felt for him and now I could fully understand what happened. I had needed to fit in and be needed so badly that I accepted whatever love I found. Edward had given me the feeling of being needed as well as doing something for me that no one had before; I was finally being taken care of.
A part of me knew all along that my relationship with Edward was harmful as I felt myself changing into what I thought he wanted. Other than finally being a part of a family that truly wanted me as I was and made me feel like I fit in, Edward did nothing to make me a better person. Even before he left me that day in the woods I had felt inadequate and unworthy of his love. He was perfect, angelic in beauty and there was nothing that plain old Bella could do to compare to that. It only got worse after I saved him from his attempted vampire suicide. He became more controlling and less believable in his professions of love. I remembered thinking about my life and no longer wanting to spend it with him, but still wanting to stay with the family.
I felt drawn to the family and now that I think about it, I know exactly why I felt that way. Looking back over those human memories, I saw everything through a haze, but I was able to see the times that I was allowed to be in the same room with Jasper all of the looks he had sent my way. Even back then I could feel myself pulled towards him, but whenever that feeling would hit me Edward would pull me out of the room to go do something or take me home. I shook my head as I saw all of the times that he had kept me away from Jasper. Normally I would think it was just to protect me from being attacked but I was seeing things in a new light and that light showed me that Edward knew somehow that I was meant to be with Jasper.
I could sense Jasper starting to get worried behind me and yet I knew I had only been standing at the window for less than a minute. All the time in the world and my brain now processed everything faster than I could blink…if I needed to that is. I wasn't ready to move so I sent Jasper a wave of calm and let my thoughts flow again. Edward obviously knew what was going on or what should have been happening and he could only have gotten that from Alice or from Jasper's thoughts. I grimaced as I thought of Alice. I don't know how we would be able to move past the fact that I am currently in Esme's love shack with her husband or is it ex-husband? Were they still together? I don't care how I felt about him, I wouldn't come between them. I was not a home wrecker.
"Bella?"
I could hear the worry in his voice. "Yes?"
"What is going through that head of yours?" Jasper shifted behind me. "Your emotions are going a mile a minute."
"Oh, I'm just thinking about everything." I sighed and leaned my forehead against the glass of the door. "So much is going on inside my head and I'm trying to sort through it all."
"That's part of being a newborn, darlin'. It will take time for you to get used to all of the new aspects of your life." He walked up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Your voice is different, you are taller now, you are stronger than me, than Emmett, you can think about ten different things at once and not get confused. I am here for you, love, and will help you adjust to everything. The family is here to help you too."
Warmth spread through me as he gently rubbed my shoulders and I gasped at how warm his hands felt as they would brush against my neck. I leaned back against him, I couldn't help myself. "I don't understand how all of this is happening. Why does Edward want to kill me? How did he escape? Why aren't you and Alice together anymore? Why do I feel this way with you?"
"Let me see if I can answer some of those questions for you." Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his head on my shoulder. "Edward has a darkness to him that none of us ever saw before. Beyond that I have no answers for you. We will work with the family to figure out the issue with Edward. His escape? He had help escaping us, but I don't know who it was as I was too focused on calming you down. I can tell you that there were two of them as I noticed that his arm was taken after I dropped it to stop you from attacking him again. Alice and I knew a long time ago that we weren't true mates; she just never told me that she had seen who my mate was. I wish she would have told me and I could have saved you from all of the hardships that you suffered through."
"This isn't your fault, Jasper." I said as I felt his emotions take a turn towards guilt. "As with everything regarding Alice, you never bet against her. She does everything for a reason and it is usually for the betterment of her family, I just wish we didn't get hurt in the process. So don't worry about it, we will talk to Alice about that later."
Jasper sighed. "Alice is a force to be reckoned with that's for sure."
"So this is real between us?" I looked out the window, trying not to get my hopes up. While I waited for his response I started to worry again and feel unworthy.
"Stop that. Everything that I told you when you first woke up is true. I have been drawn to you for a long time, but you were with Edward and I wasn't going to come between the two of you. I promised myself that I would be whatever you needed me to be, so I was going to work on us becoming friends. I would honestly do anything for you, Bella. I don't mean to come on strong here, but you are my world."
"Oh." Smooth, the man swears to be whatever I need and all I could say was 'oh'. I sighed. "Somehow I think I knew."
"What?" Amazement and hope flowed with that one word.
"I mean it, Jasper. Look at what happened at the cabin. I knew Edward was out there, but I had decided it would have been better to die than to spend the rest of my life in a lie with him. Then I heard you calling for me. I couldn't have stayed quiet if I tried, I felt compelled to respond to you. As soon as you got to me I felt safe. I knew that you wouldn't hurt me and that you would take care of me. Why do you think I asked you to bite me?"
"I thought you had a death wish personally." He chuckled.
"Of course you did." I snarked back at him. "We are going to have to work on your self-esteem issues there cowboy."
"Look who's talking. I am quite tired of feeling your unworthiness." Jasper turned me around in his arms. "You are more than worthy of our family and me. I don't know what that asshole said to you to make you feel this way, but Bella; you have to understand that you deserve the love you get from our family. They will spend the rest of their lives proving that to you, as will I. I will spend forever showing you how much I love you. Will you let me?"
I looked up into his shining eyes. I could see the love he felt swirling in his beautifully expressive eyes. I reached up and placed my hands on his cheeks. I felt complete in his arms and I never wanted to let that go. "I don't agree with you, but I will let you show me as long as you let me show you how worthy you are of my love. Deal?"
"Well, ma'am, you drive a hard bargain, but I think I can accept that." He kissed my forehead. "We have a deal. Now I have a question for you."
I sighed, it never fails. Something with the Cullen men and asking me questions. "What?"
"How are you feeling?"
"Confused, angry, loved." I leaned back to look at him.
"That's it?"
"Should I be feeling something else?" I hate being confused.
"Yes, love, you should. There is one feeling that should be forefront in your brain and somehow it's missing." He looked deep into my eyes. "It has only been four hours since you woke up and you should not be able to stand around having a normal conversation. You should be going insane with thirst, uncontrollable, and yet you are standing here like everything is just normal."
I looked at him and then it hit me. I growled as I felt the burn flare in my throat. "You ass."
Jasper chuckled as he reached behind me and opened the door. "Your ass, yes, now let's go hunt."
"My ass, hmm, I think I like the sound of that." I reached down and squeezed before stepping out of the door. "And what an ass it is too."
Jasper stood there with his mouth open staring at me.
I giggled as I took a few steps back. "Wow, it's not every day I get to see the great Jasper Whitlock speechless. Come join me when you come back to your senses, Major."
His mouth snapped shut at hearing what I called him. Narrowing his eyes he took a menacing step towards me. "Be careful, Isabella, I am not one to be toyed with."
"Oh, I know, Major, I know." I blew a kiss at him and darted off into the woods. I knew he would catch me eventually, but only when I stopped to hunt. Right now, I would be faster than everyone in the family and stronger as well. I had plans flowing through my brain and I couldn't wait to set them all in motion.
First, I needed to hunt. This burn in my throat was making it hard to concentrate on what I wanted to do later. Stopping, I scented the air around me and took off in the direction that the tantalizing smell had come from. It was strong and hearty. I knew deep down that this would satisfy my thirst. As I chased down that scent, part of my mind was focused on my surroundings as I didn't want anything to surprise me. Slowing down, I leapt up into a tree and started to slowly stalk my prey. I could see the mountain lion poised in a tree ahead of me, inching along a branch, getting ready to pounce on its prey below.
With a snarl, I launched myself at the cat as it moved to attack the deer below. At my snarl, the deer darted off into the woods, leaving me alone with my meal. I collided with the mountain lion in midair and landed on top of it with a hiss. Before it had a chance to fully register what was happening, my teeth sliced through the fur on its neck and a pop echoed in my ears as the skin broke like butter. I growled as the warm blood flowed into my mouth and down my throat, bringing with it a sense of strength and warmth to my now cold body.
As I finished off my first meal, I sensed a presence behind me and I flipped around to face the threat with a growl. I continued to growl as I took in the form of my mate leaning against a tree watching me. I could sense by his stance that I was still dealing with the Major and knowing that just spurred on my plans. I rose from my crouch and slowly walked towards him, watching him closely for signs of movement. I knew all about the Major, I fully understood that he was a very dominant personality, but I was in no mood to be dominated tonight.
"Isabella." He growled as his nose flared, taking in the scents around him.
I cocked my head to the side. "Major."
"What are you doing?"
I continued to stalk my mate. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get what I wanted. I was about five feet from Jasper and I still hadn't responded to his question. I noticed that I was still growling low as I stalked him and a part of me wished that he would growl back. Now that I had fed and I had let myself listen to what Alice and Jasper had told me, I couldn't ignore the pull and the drive that I felt to be with him. I needed to be as close to him as possible.
Jasper stood there still leaning against the tree, watching me, studying me. "Isabella."
I paused taking in his stance, watching him as he watched me. I knew that he would move soon if I continued in silence and that was not what I wanted. My plan involved taking complete advantage of being a newborn. I mentally sighed, telling myself there was no better time than the present. I darted forward and stopped when I was pressed up against his body. Leaning up, I nipped at his chin before darting away, knowing he would chase me down.
I laughed as I heard him growl before giving in and chasing me down. I knew exactly where I wanted to go so that I would get everything that I wanted. Within seconds I stood in the middle of a small meadow. I turned and waited for him to catch up to me.
Jasper stepped out of the trees and growled. "What are you playing at, Isabella?"
"Nothing, Major." I closed my eyes, waiting for him to take just a few more steps.
"Isabella, after everything we have been through in the past few days, I do not believe that now is a time for games, especially not the time for you to be toying with me." He growled at me.
I opened my eyes and I knew they would be onyx again. I knew that I was playing with fire as I taunted Jasper's beast, but that was what I wanted. Right now I was one with my inner beast and due to that; I knew what I needed, what I wanted to happen. "I am completely aware of what I'm doing."
"Isabella." He growled in warning as he took another few steps towards me.
That was what I had been waiting for. I growled low as I darted forward, enjoying the shocked expression that crossed his face right as I circled behind him. Before he could react, I leaned up and licked his neck, feeling scars as I did. "Walk forward, Major."
A moan escaped him before he could cut it off and then he tensed. He took a few steps forward before he caught himself and stopped. A growl was his only response to him following orders.
I bit back my laughter as I knew that would not be conducive to what I wanted. I moved up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder. I walked around until I was standing in front of him and I trailed my fingertips along to the top of his chest as I went. "Look at me, Major."
He looked down at me and gasped when our eyes met. Reaching up, he ran a thumb under my eye before cupping my cheek. "Talk to me, Isabella."
I smiled up at him. "There's nothing to talk about, Major. The only thing that I could tell you right now is I am going after what I want."
Jasper dropped his hand as he cocked his head to the side, he looked like he was about to say something, to stop me or do some gentlemanly thing.
I did the first thing that came to mind, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine. A moan escaped me as his lips molded to mine. I curled my fingers into his hair, dragging my nails across his scalp in the process, eliciting a growl from Jasper. I wanted more from him so I bit his lower lip, trying to get his attention. I ran my tongue over his lip to ease the pain from my bite, trying to get what I wanted.
"Isabella." He whispered against my lips as he rested his hands on my waist, pulling me closer.
"Major." I whispered back before I darted my tongue into his mouth, moaning as I tasted his cinnamon flavor. It was only seconds before he responded with a brush of his tongue against mine. We fought for dominance of the kiss, but I let him win this round.
Jasper quickly delved into my mouth and explored as I had done with his. He moved his right hand from my waist and cupped the back of my head, holding me in place as he thoroughly kissed me. Pulling back, he nibbled on my bottom lip, before kissing his way to my ear. "I believe I know what you are doing, Isabella. This is a big step."
"Yes, it is." I purred as I thrust myself against him, pushing him to the ground. I sat on his waist with my hands resting on his stomach. I stared into his eyes as I slowly worked my hands up under his shirt, feeling his muscles tense as I touched his skin. "You can feel my emotions, Major. Tell me what you feel from me right now, what you have felt from me since you found me in the cabin."
Jasper looked up at me as he rested his hands on my thighs. A softness entered his eyes, yet they still held the hard edge of the beast within. "I couldn't feel your emotions until I entered that cabin. Once I walked into the cabin I was hit with your fear, but as soon as I got to you, the fear was gone. It was replaced by a sense of relief followed by hope and love. The fear came back as soon as Edward found us, but I just attributed that to your fear of his control with the smell of your blood so thick in the air. I felt your pride as I stood up to Victoria and relief again as I carried you out of there. Then there was the trust you had in me to bite you and not drain you. That trust had been there since I found you, but it really stood out then and there as there was a spike of fear when Edward was mentioned again. Isabella, why were you so afraid of Edward? Did he do something to you that we didn't know about?"
I growled at hearing his name, not wanting to talk about him as all I wanted was to explore the man beneath me. I did have to admit that I started this conversation so I would just have to do what I needed to to get it over with as quickly as possible. "I knew that we were over as he never really wanted me for me. He spent our whole relationship controlling me and shaping me into the woman he wanted, not just accepting me as myself. He was never going to change me, just leave me to grow old and die as he sat and watched, if I was lucky. For those reasons I refused to call out to him for help and yet when I heard you I knew I was safe."
Jasper reached up and cupped my cheek with his hand and smiled at me. "I'm glad that I went with him, Darlin', even more so now knowing how close I was to losing you. I just wish that it didn't take the shit with Victoria for all of this to happen. Although I do have to say that I'm over the moon that it's my venom that is flowing through your veins."
I leaned into his touch and smiled down at him. "I'm glad it's your venom too. Now is there anything else we need to talk about right now cuz I had other actions in mind other than talking?"
His eyes darkened at the husky tone of my voice. Moving his hand from my cheek to the back of my head, he pulled me down for a kiss that he poured all of his emotions into. His tongue swept through my mouth as his hands ran down my back to cup my ass as he thrust up into me.
I was just about to rip his shirt off when I heard someone running in our direction. Pulling back from Jasper I turned to look in the direction the sound was coming from and let loose a growl warning whoever it was that they were about to regret the decision to come any closer.
The sound stopped and then a voice called out, "Jasper, I hope you two are decent as I really don't want to see anything I shouldn't regarding my baby sis. But I need to talk to you."
I heaved a sigh as I listened to Emmett move closer. Not bothering to move from my very comfortable perch, I crossed my arms and glared at the spot in the trees where Emmett would emerge from. It had to be bad for the family to send anyone to find us as I bet they all knew what we would be up to out here.
Emmett slowed down as he neared us and stepped out of the trees with his hands raised. "Please don't shoot the messenger."
Jasper turned his head to chuckle at his brother. "You drew the short straw huh?"
He nodded as he kept looking between the two of us. "I was told to behave."
I snorted, Emmett behaving was a funny thought. "Well, why don't you deliver the message and you can go back and tell them you did as asked?"
"Alright, just don't get mad at me. I'm just the delivery boy here." Emmett closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at me. "Jacob called and he wants to have a meeting with the family and the wolves."
"What in the hell does that mutt want to discuss?" Jasper growled low.
"What to do about Edward and…" He trailed off with a glance in my direction.
In less than a second I was in front of him, hands on hips. "Spit it out, brother bear. What else does Jacob want to talk about?"
"You." Emmett whispered. "He wants to know who turned you and why or else he threatened to take out the whole family."
"Ha." I snorted. "And Carlisle thought he would come around to accepting me."
"He still might, Darlin', but right now we have to figure out a way to calm him down and explain what happened. They will understand and the treaty will stay intact."
"Damn the treaty." I snarled. "I will not allow another male to tell me what to do or look down on me for being me. Let's get this meeting going so that I can educate my so called friend."
A/N – Thank you guys so much for putting up with the infrequency of updates. I am hoping that RL will allow me to update more often and I have already started on the next chapter so I hope to be able to get that really going for ya. I am on an update craze so hopefully I will get into a more consistent rhythm for all of my stories. Thanks again and review review review…pretty please? LOL.
Favorite lines –
Bella - Smooth, the man swears to be whatever I need and all I could say was 'oh'.
Jasper - "I thought you had a death wish personally."
There is a FB page for my Twilight fics, it will have updates and such as well as questions from me…just search for Bella & Jasper – Love Under a Blood Moon & Stories