So this is a new project that has captured my imagination. This does NOT mean my other works will not get finished. This hit me while i was pregnant and i had to start writing it. So enjoy and let me know what you think.

Sixteen years ago Sakura's life changed in a way that she could never have foreseen.

It was perfect. She had the perfect job, the perfect team, the perfect friends, and even a perfect husband. Every morning she would wake up next to the most beautiful Uchiha she had ever laid eyes on, who was always wrapped tightly around her body. His raven hair, she knew, would be askew from sleep and it was also the only time he would ever let it look that way. Sakura remembered the first time waking up to Uchiha bedhead and she had teased him, "So if someone were to break into our house right now, would you fix your hair before being seen?"

That had earned her a pouting glare and the cold shoulder for the first two hours of the day. But of course when on their honeymoon Sakura wouldn't stand for it. So using her own powers of seduction she left her newlywed husband panting on the bed while she treated him to her "specialty". Of course, not wanting to speak to his wife, and not wanting to make any pleasurable noises whilst she was treating him so delightfully, led said Uchiha to one of the greatest orgasms he'd ever experienced.

But it wasn't just the sex that she missed about her love; she missed the way his eyes would soften every time he'd look at her. She missed the soft, tender kisses that he and he alone could bestow on her waiting lips. She missed the warm tingling in her stomach whenever he spoke in that low seductive voice that never ceased to make her wet. But most of all, she missed how protected she felt when he held her. Yes, being held was her absolute favorite…even trumping the sex.

With her quick progression in medical ninjutsu she easily spent the majority of her time at the hospital. She could honestly say she had treated almost every shinobi that passed through the big glass doors of the hospital. Injuries either life threatening, where she would achieve the impossible and save their lives, or if it was for their annual physical when she got to see hardened men cower at the thought of getting stuck by a needle. She had to admit that it pleased her to no end seeing her comrades pale at the tiny syringe that held a vaccine for a nasty disease. And she could swear that most of those men would rather battle the disease than get the damn shot. Oh well…rules were rules and so she stuck them every time.

If there was one group of people that she loved almost as much as her husband, it was her team. Team Seven. Each stuck up, determined, and lazy ass man on the team held a special place in her heart. Granted she was never a heavy hitter and they never treated her as such. She was always protected, which she loved, but also loathed. She was a kunoichi and she had to put her life on the line to right? But they never made her do it, always opting for her to wait in the rear or on the sidelines. And it took Tsunade's harsh apprenticeship for Sakura to even build some confidence in herself on the battlefield.

But even then Sakura had never been a supremely confident person. Ever since being teased about her wide forehead, her self-consciousness blew out of proportion. There was always something to criticize about her looks, her intelligence, and especially about her performance as a ninja. She was and always will be the weak link of Team Seven. And she hated it. Hated that no matter what she did, she would never be strong enough. Hated that no matter how many times she tried to prove her worth, someone would come along and shatter all of her fragile dreams. Hated that once people lost their faith in her, they could never forgive her. This curse Sakura seemed to carry with her where ever she went.

It was this day, May 13th, sixteen years ago that her entire village betrayed their trust in her.

xXxXx

"You're doing great Sakura, now it's time to breathe, follow after me," Shizune coached her, "He-he-he-he-he."

Sakura's body was drenched in sweat as she tried following Shizune's instructions to breathe. It was just really hard to focus when giving birth, "He-he-he-haaaAAAAAAH!"

"He's crowning Sakura, you're almost done," Tsunade looked up briefly from her position between Sakura's legs, "Keep your mind calm, you're doing just fine."

"Another contraction is coming," Shizune told her master.

"Right…Push!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Sakura's hands were squeezing the life out of her husband's. Why she ever thought that giving birth naturally was a good idea she will never know. It must have been her crazy pregnant lady brain doing all the bad thinking for her.

"Itachi!" she whimpered and said man leaned over to kiss her sweating forehead.

"Shhhh," he cooed loud enough to be heard, "Focus Sakura."

"I'm trying…" she moaned her head throwing itself back against her pillows as another contraction hit and she pushed.

"The head's out, the last push will give us the body," Tsunade said in a professional voice, her eyes staying trained to the child being born.

"One more Sakura," Itachi whispered in her ear, "One more push."

With one final heave after eight hours of labor Sakura finally gave birth to her son. Tsunade took the baby to get him cleaned and measured giving Sakura a chance to recover from her ordeal. Shizune immediately took her spot and began the healing.

Sakura lay panting on the bed exhausted from the labor. Itachi stayed valiantly by her side wiping the sweat from her slightly wide forehead before kissing it tenderly. A few seconds later Sakura's body completely relaxed at the sound of her baby's small cry.

"He's here," Sakura whispered looking up at the man she loved, "He's finally here."

"Hai."

"Your father will be happy that you have an heir."

"Hn."

Her breathing steadily grew softer and the lethargy began to kick in. Eight hours of natural labor was more intense than she was prepared for. But it was all worth it now that her baby was finally born. After two years of marriage she could finally call herself a mother. Her family was growing again and she couldn't be more excited. After her parent's died Sakura always felt as though the large hole in her heart would never be filled, but now with Itachi by her side and her baby in her arms she could finally be completely happy once more.

"Sakura."

Green eyes looked up to meet her master's…there was something in her tone that had Sakura on edge. Was there something wrong? Why did her master's face look so…she couldn't even put a word to it.

"Who's the father?" Tsunade asked again holding the baby securely in her arms.

Sakura's eyes widened in confusion, "Itachi is shishou…why would you ask me that?"

Tsunade shot a glance to Itachi and she could tell that he was on edge with her question as well as confused. Without another thought Tsunade held her arms out so Sakura could take her baby. And when they both laid eyes on him they started.

"Shishou…what's the matter with his skin?" Sakura asked looking at his arm. What should have been light pink and pale skin was replaced by a deep tan. She didn't understand? Was it something she ate that dyed his skin?

"I'm going to ask you again Sakura, who is the father of this child?"

"It's Itachi! Shishou I would never cheat on my husband! Itachi tell her that!" Frightened emerald eyes turned quickly to her husband for support but she received none. The soft gentleness that was present while she went through labor was gone and replaced by harden onyx and his typical blank expression. He wasn't even standing next to her anymore…he was over by the door.

"Answer her question," he ordered.

Sakura began shaking as she held her sleeping baby closer, "It's you Itachi, it has always been you. I would never, ever, cheat on you. You know this, I love you!"

"Not enough apparently."

xXxXx

That was the last time she saw him. He had abruptly turned his back and walked out of the room. Sakura didn't even notice that the rest of the room had cleared out save for her and Tsunade. Sakura didn't have the courage to meet her teacher's eye…she didn't want to see the accusation in them. No one came to visit her. Where was her team? Her friends? Why was she all alone?

xXxXx

The next day Sakura was discharged and she knew she wouldn't be welcomed at the Uchiha Compound. The news had obviously spread quickly based on the glares and hushed whispers she was receiving on the streets. No doubt the nurses in the delivery room were the source. She didn't think Tsunade or Itachi would actually be petty enough to spread these lies. Former fans girls were giving her death stares and for once in her life, Sakura feared that they would go through with killing her, especially given her weakened state. Holding her baby close to her body, shielding him from all the unfriendly eyes, she quickly checked into a small motel on the western edge of the village.

When she arrived to her room she promptly sat down on the bed and cried. How could they think this of her? She was Sakura, Konoha's Cherry Blossom, apprentice to the Godaime Hokage, second best medical-ninja in the world. She was a loyal kunoichi to her village. She had personally saved countless of lives from her non-stop work at the hospital.

But none of that mattered now. All her hard work at trying to feel needed, wanted, special…it was now broken beyond repair. She was now worse than scum…worse than dirt beneath their feet.

She was a traitor.

Everyone thought that she wasn't faithful in her marriage. But they couldn't be more wrong. Loosening her grip she laid her baby down onto the mattress in front her and leaned over him. He was currently asleep his small fists curled under his chin. She couldn't help but smile. Aside from his darker skin he looked just like his father, complete with small tear troughs that were almost imperceptible unless you were really looking at him. Studying his features more closely she realized that while he looked like Itachi his nose and lips were all her. She could even see the small dent indicating that his nose would turn up slightly at the end. Her tears dried slowly as she focused on his small form rather than on her sorrows. Even if Itachi and the rest of the village did not believe that her son was a legitimate child between her and her husband, she would never deny it. She could be put under Ibiki's harshest treatment and the truth would still ring true from her lips.

His large eyes opened to a dark forest green. Sakura was mesmerized for an instant at the richness of the color. It didn't have a vibrant shine but more of a mysterious allure…much like his father's brilliant onyx. Then he started to cry, it wasn't a piercing wail but more a cry of discomfort and Sakura instantly knew that he was hungry. So she settled herself against the headboard and unzipped her shirt to feed him. He latched on easily and his natural sucking instincts took over quickly. While he was occupied Sakura took that opportunity to remove the light blue beanie from his head and run her hand over his beautiful black hair. He truly was a beautiful baby.

A small spark of chakra startled the new mother as she instantly tensed, preparing to be attacked. Only she saw a small slug sitting on the end of the bed.

"Sakura-san," the slug whispered.

"Hello Komoi-san," she replied still holding her baby close.

"Tsunade-sama sent me to tell you that Uchiha-san is not claiming the baby. And that she can't file a proper birth certificate without a father and…and a first and…last name…"

Sakura felt her entire being shut down. Itachi had…he had…disowned her. He had taken away her last name. She was no longer his wife…

"I-I-I…I understand," Sakura fought more tears that threatened to spill and cleared her throat, "T-Tell her not to worry about that. It won't be necessary for her to make one."

Komoi nodded slightly, "Hai Sakura-san and…I'm sorry. Truly sorry."

Sakura only nodded as the slug disappeared from the room. He hated her…he truly thought that she had betrayed his trust…that she had betrayed their marriage. Her parent's dead…her friends nowhere to be found…and her husband…gone. She was utterly and completely alone.

"There's nothing left for me here anymore," she whispered to her baby while she burped him, "Nobody cares. Nobody wants me around."

Usually at this time her little son would fall promptly asleep after a good feeding but instead he stayed awake. So Sakura set him down between her legs and gave him her delicate fingers to play with.

"You want me right, my baby?" she asked sadly as her tears continued to run down her cheeks.

In response he gripped her fingers and looked up into her sad eyes. Sakura smiled, he wouldn't just want her...no, he needed her. And he would never stop needing her.

"I promise my baby, I will protect you. And since I can't do that in Konoha we will go somewhere else and be happy. Just you and me; mommy and son."

She tickled him under his chin which prompted a small smile, the sight of it raising her spirits immensely.

"Shall we go then, my little warrior…my Takeshi."

xXxXx

That was the last time she had set foot in Konoha or even in the Land of Fire. It'd been sixteen years since she had last seen the luscious forests of Fire or bathed in the warm rivers around the village. She missed it dearly but she also knew she wasn't welcomed there and she never would be again.

"You're thinking about it again aren't you?"

Sakura turned towards the light tenor of her adolescent son's voice. He was standing in the doorway to her temporary room arms folded but with a soft understanding look in his eyes. She smiled tenderly at him, he looked so handsome. Every town, every village, and every city they set foot in women would flock to him like bees to a honeypot. And she couldn't blame them. He stood tall like his father with broad shoulders that were more typical of her side of the family, and it was a trait she noticed that developed from his study of kenjutsu. His silky black hair hung around his eyes giving him a dark and mysterious allure and ended at the base of his neck. Beneath the thin black, long-sleeved shirt she knew were nicely toned arms followed by a stunning torso. His black cargo pants hung perfectly around his hips, his weapons pouch snug on his belt and twin ninjatao's were strapped to his back in an X formation. His tanned skinned only served to enhance his striking features; high cheekbones, the slight upturned nose, and lightly colored lips that could only have come from her. And the small tear troughs that were so distinctly from his father had not grown past a few centimeters from his eyes. She was grateful for that…it made him look a little less like her lover in that regard. Not that she could ever forget Itachi…

"Hai Take-kun…I was," she answered holding her hand out to him.

He took it without question and assumed the typical cuddling position; him on the floor sitting between her legs with his back to her. His mother began running her fingers through his beautiful hair.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself. There's nothing that can be done to change the past."

"I know…"

"Then why?" he looked up at her weary, tear-stained eyes wanting to comfort her but knowing that nothing could be done. She always did this…every year on his birthday. It used to make him angry, thinking that his mother didn't want to be happy on his birthday on purpose. He thought that she was trying to give him an unconscious hint that she wished that he wasn't alive and that she didn't want him. But that was when he was a naïve child of five. When he was eight he finally convinced his mother to tell him why she was always sad instead of happy on his birthday.

xXxXx

"Takeshi…" she sighed running a hand over her face.

He could tell she was about to blow off his question again with another "I'll tell you when you're older" statements. But this time she wasn't going to get out of it.

"For my birthday present I want you to tell me why you're always sad on my birthday," he stood stubbornly next to her arms folded and dark green eyes bore unrelenting into her lighter green.

Sakura stared at him in surprise at first, she could honestly say she was shocked by his request, but then her gaze dropped as she grabbed the sake bottle next to her and took a long drink.

"This is also the only day you get yourself drunk and I want to know why? It is because you don't want me? And that I'm a failure?"

"NO!"

"Then tell me! I'm old enough to hear and understand!" he demanded his own tears beginning to show before he wiped them away furiously.

"Takeshi…alright. You are old enough to hear the story."

xXxXx

And she told him everything and he knew it to be the truth because if there was one thing his mother never did to him…it was lie. He distinctly remembered the first time he caught her lying and it had made him cry. From that day forward she had promised to never lie to him again. But her promise came with a warning that sometimes the truth might hurt. But he didn't care, he'd rather get the hurt done and over with sooner rather than blindly go on thinking that the lie is the truth. Life was much simpler when one had all the facts up front.

From that night on Takeshi had taken his training more seriously. From the age of five, which his mother told him was typical Academy entrance age, he had begun training in chakra use and weaponry. Being home schooled since birth he knew that while his mother might be a task master she was also very aware of his limits. Occasionally she would try and push him when she could see improvement, which he hated being told what to do and when etc., but he always tolerated it because now he was training to uphold his own silent vow.

To protect his mother and take care of her until his dying breath.

She had saved him from being treated like a dirty rotten bastard, from being scolded and tormented from something that he was entirely innocent of. She had left a note retiring from her work as a shinobi and left with nothing more than the clothes on her back. He remembered that portion of the story perfectly.

xXxXx

She held him in her lap and stroked his hair. This setting always seemed to calm her down whenever she was distressed and he had to admit that he liked it when she stroked his head, "I knew that when I left I couldn't go anywhere familiar. I headed west simply because that's the direction of the village I was already in. It wasn't a smart move but I wasn't thinking to clearly at the time. I covered my tracks well and made sure to mask my chakra to prevent anyone from following. It was a very exhausting and tiring journey considering I had only had a day to recover from labor. But I eventually got to a small farming village…it didn't even have running water. I stayed there for the first year of your life. Traveling with a small infant at that time was dangerous and I risked you contracting an infection. But I knew that this place was safe considering it was so far off the grid, I doubt any shinobi had ever happened upon it before. The people were wary of me at first, but when they saw you and my rather…unbecoming appearance they instantly took me in. We stayed with an elderly woman."

"I remember her," the child Takeshi cut in looking up at her his little eyes wide, "she had long silver hair that she kept in a braid and it touched the ground right?"

Sakura kissed his forehead, "That's right, her name was Jiabi Ikida. And she loved to spoil you." Sakura poked his little nose as he smiled, "She sewed all of your little clothes, beanies, and booties. She was exactly what I needed at the time. I helped out around the village healing injuries and tending to Ikida's garden. The rains came three days after we arrived and I knew that if Konoha was even trying to look for me they would completely lose the trail. We were safe from harm. But I also knew that we couldn't stay here forever because sooner or later someone would find this place and find me and you. So after we celebrated your one year birthday we left. That was when our traveling escapades started."

"So we don't stay in one place for very long because you don't want Konoha to find us?" Takeshi asked.

"Hai. I don't want to see you subjected to the hatred that was directed towards me. You're my baby; I have to protect you even if it costs me my life. You are the only person that matters to me."

"Kaa-san I love you," Takeshi whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around her neck.

Sakura's tears started afresh, wetting the small fabric of her son's shirt, "I love you so much Takeshi. All I want from this life is to just make you happy. You will let me know if I ever make you unhappy, right?"

"Hai Kaa-san you make me very happy."

Sakura only held him tighter in response as her tears slowly stopped and she released him.

"Can I make a request Kaa-san?"

"What is it?"

Takeshi stood up off her lap in his signature pose, arms folded and eyes hard, "Train me."

Sakura cocked her head to the side, "I'm already training you?"

"No I mean train me more."

"Takeshi your training is fine."

"But you're protecting me…it's only fair if I return the favor right? Besides if we're both watching each other's backs and protecting each other then we don't have to look out for ourselves because the other is already watching out for us…right?"

Her smile widened significantly and she ruffled his black hair affectionately, "Hai that's a very logical explanation. So I'll intensify your training per your request. Then once you're ready you can join me on the missions, nei?"

"Really?!" His dark eyes widened excitedly, "You mean you'll take me on some?!"

She giggled, "Hai but first you have to prove to me that you can take care of yourself. If I have to worry about looking out for you then our mission will fail. And you know what happens if we fail a mission?"

"Then we don't get paid."

"And if we don't get paid?"

"Then we don't eat."

She pulled him in for a hug and placed a large kiss on his cheek, "That's right and my baby has to eat."

xXxXx

It was that day that his mother had kept good on her word. His training had intensified from there and by the age of ten he was accompanying her on missions. Granted she had him play look out and other minor roles when he went with her but he took his job seriously. There were a couple of close calls that happened during two missions that if he hadn't have given her a warning then she would have been killed. So while he was out of trouble he was never useless. And he was proud when she praised him afterwards. When he got older he realized just how dangerous of a life that they lived. They were rouge shinobi with no allegiance to any Hidden Village, mercenaries that only took jobs for money and sometimes they had to fight to get the good paying ones. When Takeshi was thirteen he watched as a man made an unwanted pass at his mother and before she could even react he had gutted the man. His mother had started to protest but before she got any words out he threaten the vagabond, "Touch one single hair on her head and you will taste the steel of my blade…got it." Sakura would admit she loved his protective side, it was a decent replacement for…Itachi's sense of security. But in all honesty she can't get over the fact that her son would kill for her. This was her baby…her little boy that she gave birth to. Deep down she wanted him to stay sweet and innocent, but reality was harsh and that type of quick response attitude was what was needed in the world they were living in.

"You didn't answer my question…" he reminded her softly and she continued stroking his hair.

"I do it because I love him still," she answered softly.

"How can you love someone who has wounded you so badly? It doesn't make sense Kaa-san," he turned around from his spot on the floor so he could look at her without craning his neck.

She replaced her hands in her lap, "It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all."

His eyes narrowed, "That's a foolish saying. Why would you want to remember something like that?"

Her own eyes softened, "Because to love and be loved in return is the greatest feeling in the world. When I was married to your father I was the happiest woman in existence."

He growled in disagreement and it made her sigh in exasperation. The first time he grunted "hn" at her, she had frozen in shock. When he asked she told him that he sounded exactly like his father when he did that. From that day instead of grunting he would use any other type of sound. He'd be damned if he imitated the man who left his mother high and dry and broke her heart.

"Considering how against falling in love you are, you wouldn't really understand."

"I don't want to fall in love, not with what it's done to you."

"Not every relationship ends up like mine."

"I don't care. I'll never have to know that kind of heartache if I never fall in love."

"Takeshi…you already love someone, I know this," she smiled slyly at him.

He growled again this time looking like a pouting child, "You don't count, you're my mother."

She giggled brushing the hair out of his eyes, "So just because I'm your mother means that you can't love me?"

"Now you're putting words into my mouth," he argued back but couldn't help the small smile that slowly worked its way onto his lips, "I never said I didn't love you I only said I'm not falling in love with some…girl."

That statement made Sakura pout, "Why not?"

"Because then I wouldn't be around to protect you anymore."

"Takeshi…" she leaned forward and he pulled her to the ground in a tight hug, "I love you my son."

"I love you too Kaa-san and I will never leave you alone," he replied softly, "Besides…someone has to stay around and make sure you don't get drunk off your ass."

That comment had him sliding across the room as he clutched his sore shoulder grimacing through a smile. Two sets of green eyes locked together both wearing similar amused smirks. Sakura lifted the bottle of sake and downed the rest of the contents.

"You just proved my point, you know that right?"

The next second he had to dodge the empty sake bottle.

Sixteen years…

Today was the day all those many years ago that he left his wife. Sixteen years ago he believed that she had an affair with another man. Sixteen years ago he had been so angry that he almost killed both of them on the spot. Sixteen years ago…and he still felt like he had made the worst mistake of his life.

How could I have done that to her?

He thought back to the moment.

xXxXx

He had to remove himself from the hospital room before he did anything rash. When Tsunade had first asked Sakura who the father was he had almost thought she was teasing. That was until he looked up and saw the serious look in her eyes. Sakura seemed equally bewildered by the question until she saw the baby. His skin was dark…how could his skin be dark? Dark skin didn't run in either of their families. There's no genetic way that child would have dark skin was unless…

Unless it wasn't his child.

His eyes bled red as his sharingan swirled to life. He loved her, he treasured her, and he thought that she felt the same. That was why he asked her to marry him. Obviously he was wrong about her. She was just like all the other shallow women, they didn't love him, they only loved the idea of him when they would rather be with someone else. It sickened him to the point that he wanted to vomit. He trusted her more than he trusted his own family and she had gone and slept with another man, conceived his child, and then had the audacity to say it was his! How dare she try to make him responsible for a child that wasn't his own!

When he arrived at his and Sakura's home he shut himself in his room and didn't leave for a week. When he exited he had time to mull over the situation. He had come to a conclusion that Sakura, his sweet, gentle, beautiful Sakura, would never be able to betray him in that way. It just wasn't in her personality. He had left her operating solely on his instincts and feelings that he should never have allowed to control him in the first place. It was a foolish decision on his part and one that could cost him dearly if he didn't leave his room and try to patch things up with his wife. He loved her and he had to at least try.

But things had gone to hell in a hand basket while he sulked in his room. Fugaku had found out about the supposed infidelity and promptly burned their marriage certificate and stripped her of the Uchiha name. Itachi couldn't believe it and argued with his father that he had no right do make those decisions for him. Fugaku had said that while Itachi was busy acting like a spoiled child by shutting himself up in his house, he had inadvertently left him with cleaning up his wife's mess while protecting the clan's reputation. It was the first verbal fight that he had ever gotten into with his father. Itachi knew he wasn't getting anywhere with the stubborn man so instead of continuing his useless battle, Itachi stormed out of the compound and went straight to Hokage Tower to see Tsunade.

"Where is she?!" Itachi demanded as he burst through into her office still angry after his altercation with his father.

"Itachi-san calm down," Tsunade sighed sadly looking at the torn man. He didn't even seem to notice the other people in the room.

"I. Will. Not." He intoned harshly, "Tell me where she is. I need to speak with her."

"Well you can't."

"Why?"

"Because she is no longer in the village."

Itachi turned to look at the speaker and saw that the entirety of Team Seven was in the room with him. His eyes met Kakashi's own pained dark black orbs and he demanded him to elaborate on his previous statement.

"She left Uchiha-sempai. Probably a few days ago. We couldn't track her very far because of the recent rain," Kakashi explained.

Itachi vaguely remembered hearing rain outside his window. He could only hope that she hadn't gotten caught out in it…she could get sick or the baby could…and he wouldn't be there to help.

"Which direction?"

"Itachi it's fruitless," Tsunade cut in, "Sakura covered her tracks well when she left and then with the rain she disappeared into thin air."

"No, I will find her," he turned to leave only to be stopped.

"Uchiha Itachi you stop right there! Sakura is no longer a shinobi of Konoha. You are not permitted to leave this village to go in search of her. To do so will earn you the rank of missing-nin and traitor to your village."

His hand froze on the door. Two sides of his conscience were now warring, one was saying to hell with it and to go find his wife. The other was saying that as a shinobi he was not allowed to disobey a direct order from his Hokage.

"Sakura was staying in a motel on the western side of Konoha. She left this note in the room and the owner brought it to me. This letter states that she has resigned and retired as a shinobi of Konoha and in order to prevent further embarrassment on herself and your clan she has left the village. With her claim to resignation and retirement I cannot permit a search party to go retrieve her."

He would never understand why but his logical, shinobi side had won in the end. His hand left the door knob only to be clenched by his side. She was gone…she had left him for good…he was too late.

His heart shattered into a million pieces.

xXxXx

His thoughts turned him back to the present when he heard shuffling outside his office door. He was currently sitting in his home office a sake bottle opened and half empty. He had become a changed man after that incident. He never smiled, he never laughed, he only spoke when spoken to and even then he never spoke more than five words if he could help it. After the initial bout of loss left, he learned that his father had arranged another marriage for him. He was sickened by this but didn't fight it, he was still the clan heir and his father still expected things from him. One of the things he expected was for Itachi to birth an heir.

His father had picked him a meek woman from within the clan. He didn't love her and he never would. His heart was already given away to another and even if he had confirmation of Sakura's death, he would not betray her…not again. He knew that nothing he did could make up for what he had done but as his mother had wisely put it, "You can't spend the rest of your life living in the past or else you will miss the goodness of the future." So try as he might, he tried to live in the present. And it worked except on this day and a few others…actually if he was being honest, there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't think of her. Sakura's memory was forever burned into his mind; their first electrifying kiss that led to their first date, the day they became a couple, the day he proposed, he could still picture her perfectly in her wedding kimono smiling rosy lips and all. And then of course their wedding night which was everything a wedding night could be. Even now his heart thumped loudly in his chest thinking and reliving those intimate moments with her.

The next thought he always tried to hide but every time it crept up from behind and forced its way into the front. The day she told him she was pregnant. She glowed as if an inner light inside of her had turned on. She looked radiant, all smiles and giggles when she held out the pregnancy test then confirmed with her medical chakra. She was carrying his child…he was going to be a father. He had never been happier in his entire life. He could see it now…how wrong he had been to judge her so quickly. But these memories were always followed by his betrayal…the day she gave birth. He had been such a fool. She trusted him…why couldn't he trust her?

"Otou-san?" a meek little voice whispered on the other side of the door.

"Enter," his command was short and bland just like most of his speech.

The door slid open and a little boy poked his head in, "Okaa-san says it's time for dinner."

He nodded once and the boy slid the door closed. Between him and his new wife they had three children. It seemed as though fate was mocking him since his first two with his current wife were girls. Sakura had given him a son the first time. Even though he knew that the man technically picks the sex of each child he couldn't help but feel this was Lady Justice rearing her head…or was it Karma. Still though it seemed…unfair in the fact that it wasn't fair to his new wife, that the only time they were ever intimate with each other was for the sole reason of getting her pregnant. With the first girl he figured it was poetic justice and with the second it seemed as though the world was out to kill him. He pleaded to any unseen deity after the second girl's birth that they end his suffering. He didn't want to put his new wife through the pain of false intimacy anymore. Luckily those prayers were answered and she birthed a son and his…new heir.

Rising slowly from his chair he finished his current glass of sake before leaving the room. With confident but silent steps he walked through the halls of his home and seated himself regally at the head of his table. His eldest daughter was fourteen named Hama, she had long chocolate brown hair that was thick and full like her mother's, she kept it in a tight ponytail, and dark onyx eyes like her father. Her Genin team was trying out for the Chunin exams this year. His second daughter was named Suki and she had dark mat black hair cut into a short bob that framed her angular face that she inherited from her father. Her eyes were a dark brown the same as her mother. She would be graduating from the Academy next year. His youngest sported hair identical to his own except he liked to keep it a short buzz cut, his eyes were also onyx like his elder sister's. Yes his youngest was afraid of having long girly hair, not that he said that to his dad's face. Uchiha Jiro was a man's man…except he was a six year old boy.

None of his children could be considered exceptional. He would have thought that being born from a prodigy, such as himself, that at least one would have more than average shinobi skills. He would train with them when time permitted, as the current clan head and Chief of the Police Force he had many duties to see to. Of course that was just the excuse he would give them if they pestered him too much. But another part of him felt guilty…guilty in the respect that he couldn't train another. Maybe his firstborn from Sakura was given all of his talent. That would not be a large stretch considering the child will most likely inherit Sakura's perfect chakra control. What a strong shinobi that child would be, that is if he was still alive.

He could only hope that maybe one day he would get to meet him. Maybe he could apologize for abandoning him as a baby, him and his mother. For Sakura he knew he could only beg for her forgiveness and hope that she would grant it. But if she chose to hate him forever then he would bear it knowing he rightfully deserved her anger as well as his first son's. He didn't even know his name. When he questioned Tsunade about the birth certificate she told him one was not created since they didn't have a father, surname, and Sakura never told her his first name. As if Itachi's depression hadn't been bad enough there wasn't even a formal record of the birth. No evidence except flesh and blood wandering around Kami knows where with half of his DNA.

"Otou-san," his eldest Hama drew his attention out of his thoughts.

"Hn," he responded in his typical monotone. It was also consistent with his never to say more words than were necessary, hence why his children all had short names.

"The Chunin exams start soon, are you available at all to help me train?" Hama learned early on to make sure not to presume anything. She needed to word her questions carefully or else he will reject them outright. She honestly hated the silence that permeated the dining table whenever the family sat for dinner. She had questioned her Uncle Sasuke about the quiet dinners and he said they were typical for him and his brother as a child. Hama felt a little better knowing that her father and her uncle were brought up under similar circumstances…but still the stony silence bothered her. As such when she broke the almost eerie silence she always made sure she had something relatively important to say.

"When do the exams start?" He asked quietly before taking a bite of his dinner.

"A month Otou-san."

He remained silent contemplating his answer and going over his schedule. Really he never had to do this but at the same time he did. The majority of his time that was spent working on "clan business", aside from police business, was actually spent lost in his own thoughts usually surrounding a pink haired woman and his dark skinned son. He would admit it only to himself though, to everyone else he was pondering current politics and the direction the clan was taking and how to make his clan proud. He really wished he had convinced his father to pass the mantle onto Sasuke but the stubborn man refused. Itachi was born first and that wasn't a birthright that could just be given to another. But getting back on topic he supposed that for two weeks he could sacrifice some time spent brooding to make sure his daughter passed the Chunin exam.

"Before dinner for two hours," he answered simply then took a drink of his tea.

Hama smiled, "Thank you Otou-san."

He looked up and nodded. A light smile threatened to cross his face but he suppressed it. His daughter was clearly happy, she didn't need to see his smile. With his eyes raised he caught his new wife's eye and she smiled softly at him. He didn't give her one in return and he could see the lingering sadness in her eyes.

Uchiha Midori had been hoping that after sixteen years he would have at least warmed up to her some. Or maybe giving him three children would be enough to at least warrant a small smile from her husband. But she knew it would never happen. She was not ignorant going into this marriage. Fugaku had propositioned her father a week after Itachi's first wife left Konoha. She also knew the circumstances…well the entire village knew why…it wasn't a secret that she was unfaithful to him. But mentioning the subject around him was a quick way to get on his bad side. She had never spoken of it and she never would. She was not unaware; she knew that he still loved Sakura dearly.

xXxXx

A few days before their wedding, his mother Mikoto and a few other women were enlisted to clean the home out. And beforehand Midori thought that meant just cleaning it. But she wasn't more wrong in that regard, they cleaned out any trace of Sakura, including sheets and kitchen ware that she had slept on or used. Anything belonging to the former kunoichi, or could possibly smell like her, was put into boxes to be placed in Konoha's storage…reserved for Konoha's deceased shinobi. Midori had the misfortune of taking down pictures. Sakura was obviously an avid picture taker because they littered the halls and bedrooms. The hardest one to take down was a big 14x14 wedding picture. Itachi held Sakura's hands delicately in his larger ones. They were both staring at each other and you could see the love radiating between the two. At that moment she knew he would never look at her that way. But she could hope for at least a little bit of affection.

Once she placed the picture into the box the front door opened and Itachi stood there in shock. His mother approached him and explained the situation. The anger and rage was evident in his eyes as he glared at his mother, the other women, and her. But he didn't say a word, he merely turned around and stormed out of his house.

Nobody saw him for three days.

Tsunade was almost forced to declare him a missing-nin thinking that he had officially left the village in search of Sakura, but he showed up the evening on the third day covered in blood, dirt, and slime stating that he was in the Forest of Death releasing some pent up anger. Or he would have said that if he were talking to anybody. That interpretation was given to them by his closest friend and cousin Shisui.

The day of their wedding she couldn't detect a single emotion from him. His back faced away from her as she walked up to the tea table for the ceremony and when she sat next to him he didn't turn to look. They completed the process quickly and at the end he didn't even kiss her.

Her first kiss with her husband wouldn't even be until a year and a half after marriage. She didn't get a wedding night and she stayed a virgin until the night of her first kiss. It was a night she would never forget…but not for the normal reasons.

He was stressed, she could tell. He had at least told her that it was his father that set him on edge. She had cooked a simple dinner of his favorite onigiri, Mikoto had told her this. She didn't know anything about Itachi on a personal level, not even his favorite color. She figured it was black because he wore that color so frequently. Or maybe because in some way he was in mourning…she would never know. But after dinner she went through her regular routine of getting ready for bed. Her hair was brushed so it was tangle free, her teeth neatly brushed clean, and her sleeping yukata pulled tightly around her body. She drew the covers back on the bed noticing Itachi's stiff back as he sat on the edge on his side of the bed. She climbed under the covers, sighing softly to herself, and turned off the lamp on her side of the bed.

"Goodnight Itachi-san," she whispered. She couldn't even muster up the courage to call him –kun or -chan. She merely snuggled into her pillow getting ready for a decent night's sleep.

He remained silent but that wasn't a surprise. He rarely spoke to her. Most of the days she would spend in silent solitude which was fine…but after almost two year's worth of relative silence it was starting to get to her.

"Wait…"

Her brown eyes shot open…did he says something? It was so quiet she couldn't be sure.

"Lie on your back and open your yukata."

Had she heard wrong? "What?"

He turned and she was shocked to see that he was only wearing his boxers. He never wore only his boxers to bed; he always wore pants or shorts over them.

"We need to have a child. My father wants to see you pregnant by the end of the year," he explained in his typical monotone.

Her eyes widened in surprise and also fear; this was officially the longest conversation she has ever had with her husband. She…she and Itachi…they were officially going to become man and wife. Maybe this would help him warm up to her? Maybe he could begin to at least not be so cold towards her anymore? A small spark of hope began bubbling in her chest.

"Hai…" she replied timidly and did as instructed. Her hands shook as she untied the tie around her waist and opened the folds. Her skin lay open for his perusal but he didn't look. He merely turned off the lamp on his own side and slid over her. Their bodies didn't touch and Midori was afraid to move as he spread her legs with his knees. She was extremely nervous not only because of losing her virginity but because of what this would mean for their very fragile relationship.

He descended and they both breathed in at the close contact. Then he kissed her. It was barely a touch of the lips and felt more forced than anything. His arms were on either side of her head holding the majority of his weight off of her only allowing their chests to brush against each other. For her it was erotic, she had never been touched like this before. This was going to be her first time. Tentatively her hands raised and touched his lower back. His lips broke away from hers in a harsh gasp but she didn't remove her hands. His father wants her pregnant and if she didn't encourage him then it wouldn't happen. So she tentatively rubbed up his back feeling the smooth planes of his skin that was easily turning her on.

Itachi on the other hand was suffering…it was sheer torture. He was about to have sex with another woman who wasn't his wife. Except that on paper the woman below him was his wife and the wife of his heart was nothing more than another woman. He couldn't do this…but he had to. If he didn't…well he didn't want to think about the consequences. But he knew that after this night he would be the cheater and Sakura would always remain clean. He loathed himself for his predicament. He should have fought harder against his father's rash decisions. He should have deserted the village when he heard Sakura left. He should have run after her, chased her down and begged for forgiveness. They could have been happy together in the outside world. But he didn't, he stayed and did his duty like a true shinobi and clan heir would. And this is what it had gotten him…

Midori could feel the internal struggle inside of him. His back was tense and whether he knew it or not he was trembling slightly against her. Her first thought was that he wasn't pleased with her body but she quickly cast that aside knowing that this went deeper than petty looks. She tried soothing him with soft strokes up and down his back. She thought it had worked until her panties were literally ripped from her body and he gave a pained groan as he released himself from his boxers. He caught her scream when he entered her as his lips crashed against hers. Internally she rejoiced when he didn't move after breaking into her, he was letting her adjust. But faster than their intimacy started it had already ended. And he didn't even cum inside of her. He removed himself at the last minute and finished in his hand then all but ran to the bathroom without speaking a word.

Midori just lied there on the bed not moving and definitely not sated. Granted she didn't know what an orgasm was in the first place, but she knew then and there that sex with Itachi was never going to be for enjoyment. If anything it would be literally for impregnating her. She sat up slowly, wrapped her yukata and tied it loosely around her. Maybe she could try and comfort him. Her steps were light and she walked towards the bathroom door but stopped at an unusual sound.

He was crying.

She could hear the faint sniffling and the choked sobs that he was trying to contain and it made her heart sad for him. It was then she came to a permanent conclusion, he would never love her. Tolerate her, and possibly like and respect her, but never love. His heart belonged to Sakura whether she wanted it or not, Itachi would always be hers.

xXxXx

She finished cleaning up the dishes with the help of her children then shooed them up to get ready for bed. After tucking in her youngest she adjourned to the bedroom to see Itachi looking out the window up at the moon.

"Thank you Itachi," she whispered walking up to him. After three years she decided that honorifics weren't worth the trouble. He didn't seem to mind her not using them.

"For what?" he asked not looking at her, his eyes never straying from the beautiful full moon.

"For putting your children first," she answered simply, "I know I'm not Sakura and that you'll never love me but…I can tell that you love your children, even if it's just a little bit. If you didn't then you would never take the time to train with them and help them. So thank you for being a good father."

She touched his arm briefly before retreating to the bathroom for her nightly routine.

Itachi sighed closing his eyes. Was he a good father? He ignored his children in favor of his lost love. He ruled his house in strict obedience almost more so than his father did. But they were his family and he had not failed them yet. He kept food on the table, a house over their heads, a safe environment for them to grow up and live in, and he trained with them. He admitted that it could be worse, so in that respect he wasn't a failure of a parent…just a parent that wasn't overly involved in his children's lives. He let his wife take care of raising them and nurturing them.

Midori…

Opening his eyes he stared at the bathroom door and waited for her to emerge from her ablutions. She did a few minutes later and met his steady gaze with her own. She didn't move, something inside told her not to. Itachi just stared at her as if finally seeing her for the first time. Uchiha Midori stood by his side for sixteen years knowing that he didn't love her and didn't want her; she willing gave him three children that were definitely not created out of love. Yet not once had she ever complained or asked the impossible from him. He realized he never gave her any sort of gratitude for dealing with his harsh and silent attitude for all those years. In that sense he admired her slightly for any lesser woman probably would have turned truly unfaithful after not consummating their marriage until a year and a half later. Yet she stayed true and waited probably knowing that if she were to become unfaithful he would leave her without a backwards glance. But still he couldn't argue that his father didn't choose well for his second wife. This woman was a true saint and a good mother.

"Thank you."

Midori's steady gaze softened dramatically and she nodded slowly in response. She was graced with a small smile in return and the softening of his gaze. She felt like she had just won a million bucks. Itachi's actions told her that he respected her, which was more that she was expecting from her heart sick, stoic husband.

And she couldn't be more grateful.

Please leave a review for your feedback!

I was going to wait until i finished Becoming One to post this chapter but i just couldn't wait and i wanted to share!

FYI: Typically for this story if there are long passages in Italics with breaks, you're reading a flashback. There will be more. But i'm also using them for thoughts.