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The first time you meet Scott McCall is in a sandbox when you're four years old.

You accidentally ruin his sandcastle and he looks at you with those puppy dog eyes you'll get used to over the next few years. He sticks his lower lip out and you think he's going to cry, so you panic and say the first thing that pops into your head.

"There was a spider on it."

He freezes and looks at you like he doesn't believe you.

"I'll help you make a new one."

And he smiles and you smile back and spend the rest of recess building a sandcastle.

::

You're a freshman and Scott is still your best friend.

You watch him fall in love with the new girl and he pats you on the shoulder every time Lydia ignores you.

And then everything changes and Scott, why are your eyes yellow?

You're the one who figures it out.

Of course you are. You're always the one who figures it out.

Werewolf. Your best friend is a werewolf.

And maybe it's because you can smell Lydia's perfume on him, but when you tie him up for his first full moon, you pull the chains just tight enough to hurt. And you think you can see the guilt in his eyes, but then it's gone and he's yelling and this isn't him this isn't him this isn't him.

::

"Maybe I should just be no one again."

Scott is standing in front of you, covered in gasoline and you've never seen him look so lost before.

"Scott, you're my best friend. Okay? And I need you. Scott, you're my brother. All right, so... so if you're gonna do this, then... I think you're just gonna have to take me with you."

And you walk forward until you can feel the gasoline against your shoes and you reach out and wrap your fingers over his on the flare. He looks at you for a second and then lets go. You toss the stick behind you and hug him tight when his shoulders slump. And then Lydia is screaming and something slams into your back and you take Scott down with you and it all goes up in flames.

Literally.

Everything fades away and you stand up, reaching down a hand to Scott. He lets you pull him up, but doesn't let go. And yeah, it would be weird in any other situation, but this is Scott. And if he needs you to hold his hand, then you're going to.

It's not until a few hours later that you think about what could have happened. You're all curled up on the bus because none of you can stomach the thought of going back to that motel. Not after everything. Lydia and Allison are sprawled across the backseat and Scott makes sure they're safe before even sitting down. But a few seconds later, he's asleep too, his head against your shoulder. You can feel his breath against your collarbone and it reminds you that he's here. He's alive.

But you can't help but think that he meant what he said. You wonder if it means something that Isaac saw the flare and woke up while Scott held onto it and continued to try and kill himself. You wonder if he would have done it.

Scott shakes in his sleep and you grab his hand, wishing that you could fix this for him. He squeezes your fingers and you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt, but it's the least you can do.

You close your eyes and lean your head against his and promise that you'll pay more attention.

::

You've always hated hospitals. Or maybe you've always been scared of them. It all makes your blood run cold in the end.

But you're sitting on the silver table and the doctor is telling you to stay still and it'll take about an hour and just stay still, okay?

Your dad hugs you and Melissa brushes your hair back and you find yourself relaxing slightly. But then the door is shutting behind them and your shoulders and stiffening and you really hate hospitals. Your chest tightens and it's like the walls are closing in and oh god why is this happening?

But then Scott is standing in front of you, telling you "If you have it, we'll do something. I'll do something."

And you've never seen him look so serious before.

He's your best friend, but he's more than that. And if you can't trust him, you can't trust anyone. So you nod and reach forward, pulling him towards you and letting yourself cry.

He hugs you back and doesn't tell you it's going to be okay and you kind of love him for it. His hand rubs over your spine and you bury your face in his neck, wanting nothing more than to sink into the comfort that is just so Scott and forget about everything that's happening.

"Thank you."

You hold onto him as long as you can and his grip never loosens. He just squeezes you tight enough to remind you that he's here and he's not going anywhere and I've got you, buddy, I've got you.

You believe him.

He's the only person that's ever made you feel one hundred percent safe.

So you take a deep breath and let go, trusting that he'll be there as soon as the scan is over.

::

You're seventeen and you've already watched too many of your friends die.

You're seventeen and you've already given up everything.

You're seventeen and scared to let go of your best friend's hand.

And maybe it makes you a terrible person, but you're too worried about Scott right now to think about Allison. You know she's dead and you miss her and you want to cry and honor her memory, but right now, you just can't.

You have to take care of Scott.

He's shaking and crying and you've never seen him look so completely lost before, so you do the only thing you can.

You hold onto him until the tremors stop and his head falls against your chest and his breathing evens out. And even then, you don't let go. Because if you let go, there's nothing to keep you from thinking about how one of your closest friends is dead because of you.

You think about how you can feel Scott's pulse instead.

::

The first time you meet Scott, you're four years old and you accidentally ruin his sandcastle.

He looks at you with puppy-dog eyes and you make up an excuse about a spider that you're sure he doesn't fully believe. You spend the rest of recess building a new castle and everything falls into place.

And suddenly, you're at his house every day after school and dragging him on your crazy adventures on the weekends.

He just gives you that crooked smile and never blames you when your 'great ideas' end with both of you in detention.

You never thought about losing Scott. It just never occurred to you. Until you're watching him rush into danger without thought of himself and you're on the sidelines trying to think of a way to save him. And you realize losing him was never an option.

He's your best friend and your brother and you are completely uninterested in a life without him in it.

::