Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners.

Been wanting to write a one-shot for a while, and finally got an idea in my head so hope you like it. Major thanks to a dear friend who suggested the title because I was drawing a blank.

This is set after 4x03 but before 4x12 - anywhere after Arthur becoming King really.

Hope you like it!

Merlin wouldn't admit it to anyone.

He couldn't.

He refused to voice what was going through his head and yet, at the same time, he knew he was acting upon it. He couldn't not. He couldn't ignore what was happening in front of him and know all of his hard work was slowly becoming unravelled.

He was worried about Arthur.

To start with, it had only been small things. A late night, or a half-eaten meal as the king suddenly remembered something that needed to be done. It was so rare that Merlin let it slide, always making sure to slip something extra on the plate the next day to make up for it.

But now it was proving to be a problem.

At least five days a week Arthur was to be found sleeping at his desk, one report or another open in front of him, his head resting on his hand as he dozed. He would eat a mouthful, and then go back to work, almost as if he didn't feel that he was hungry anymore. He was losing weight and no longer training properly, claiming that he didn't have time.

They used to have a routine. Arthur would have breakfast, train for a few hours, come back and bathe behind the changing screen while Merlin tidied the room. They would talk at those times. Sometimes about trivial things, others about matters of state. By the time Arthur was dry, it would be lunch time and then he would spend the afternoon on whatever kingly duties needed to be done. Life was busy, but good. Arthur was fit and healthy and the kingdom was benefiting from it.

But now… Now Merlin couldn't recall the last time they spoke. Arthur had a quick wash whenever he changed, but never truly took the time to relax. When Merlin had helped him change the day before, he had received a nasty shock. All his jokes about putting new holes in belts were no longer needed – for it was certainly being fastened far tighter than before. It was as if Arthur was just fading away; his skin was pale and huge bags circled his eyes. His eyes themselves were dull and lifeless and he seemed to just stare at the reports he was so desperately trying to complete without actually doing anything about it.

Merlin knew he needed to do something, and fast. The problem was finding out what Arthur would let him do, for even if he woke him in the morning while the king had been sleeping at his desk, Arthur was always quick to dismiss him and ordered Merlin not to return until lunchtime. As if that made any difference, however, he either wasn't there or didn't eat it anyway, claiming he didn't have time and would eat later. It would have been easy to force Arthur to sort himself out if he thought the king was doing it deliberately.

But that was the worst thing of all. He knew Arthur had no idea he was doing it. He was running on automatic, desperately trying to strengthen his kingdom. How he didn't see that Camelot thrived when her monarch did and vice versa, Merlin had no idea. But small matters were beginning to slip past Arthur in his exhaustion and Merlin knew the crime rate in the lower town was increasing. As soon as Arthur found that out, he would work even harder.

Luckily, Merlin was not the only one to have noticed. He walked in on the knights, their friends after they had been training one morning and overheard them talking about how they never saw Arthur. They had fallen silent upon seeing Merlin approach. But Arthur's refusal to look after himself was taking its toll on Merlin and he too felt exhausted. He had simply added his own piece to the conversation and they realised he felt the same. Leon started organising the guards and patrols behind Arthur's back, trying to keep the situation under control. It was only the same thing that Arthur would have ordered, so if they could do it without the king ever finding out, then that was fine by Merlin.

But it wasn't enough. Merlin found himself forced to approach Gaius, who tried to talk to Arthur only to have his head bitten off. No one could talk to the king about it - about anything, for that matter - so Merlin knew that he had to take drastic action and began to plan.

He didn't tell anyone what he was doing, knowing that Gwaine would think it all an adventure and want to come, and Leon would disapprove of the lengths that Merlin was going to in order to force Arthur to rest. But Merlin didn't have time to do subtle, not when he knew that Aggravaine would be reporting to Morgana about Arthur's growing weakness. He couldn't let the witch use this as her chance to let Arthur destroy himself, not when it was his destiny to protect the prat.

With the plan set in his mind, Merlin knew he just had to convince Arthur to ride out with him. It was easier than he thought. Merlin's tale of a magical creature being spotted in the forest immediately caught Arthur's attention and his servant had to grin. It seemed there was still the prince inside of the king, still the young man who got a thrill at the idea of having to truly defend his kingdom from an actual threat. Merlin spun a twist on the tale, claiming it could only be defeated by the best warriors and it was like watching the light flood back into Arthur's eyes as the king fought to keep the grin off his face as he ordered Merlin to saddle the horses immediately.

Merlin had everything ready. Enough ingredients to make Arthur a good meal despite being in the forest, and a sleeping draught tucked into the top of his pack. He hoped his friend wouldn't need it, but he also knew what Arthur was like. If he found out that he had been tricked, it would have all been for nothing. Merlin knew that Arthur would find out; the lack of creature would reveal that. But at least if it could wait until the morning when he had had a good night's sleep, then that would be good enough for his servant.

They set out that afternoon. Arthur was frustrated by the fact that he couldn't find any of their knights. Merlin might not have told them about the plan, but he had made sure they were out of the way for when Merlin knew they would be leaving. Arthur wouldn't let his guard down enough if they were surrounded by friends; he would try and be a king too much and right now, Merlin needed him to just be Arthur.

They rode hard and fast into the forest and Merlin could see the tension gradually leaving Arthur's shoulders. He wasn't even sure when the last time Arthur had stepped foot outside of his room was, let alone when he had let the wind whip through his hair and feel the sun on his face. Merlin hid a grin. He had asked a couple of the other servants if they would clean Arthur's room while they were gone, and he was hoping they gave it a proper airing. Arthur needed a fresh start.

The sun gradually began its descent and Arthur called them to a stop in the middle of a small clearing. For once, Merlin didn't complain about having to do all the work himself. Despite his worry for Arthur making him tired, he had found himself with very little to do recently. There was no armour to polish as Arthur wasn't wearing it, no room to clean because the king had thrown him from it. Before long, he had the horses tethered and brushed down, a fire going and dinner cooking.

But as he turned from the pot, it was to see that Arthur had pulled reports out of his saddlebag and was reading them by the firelight.

For the first time since realising his king was slipping away, Merlin was angry.

"What the hell are you doing?" He demanded, striding over and trying to tug the parchment out of Arthur's hand. His master fixed him with a glare.

"I could ask you the same thing," he hissed, his voice venomous. But Merlin ignored it, giving a yank and surprising himself when the paper slid free of Arthur's grasp. He was tempted to just throw it in the fire, but knew it was probably something important.

"I'm trying to save your life!" He cried, realising that he could actually feel tears stinging in his eyes. He stuffed the reports back in the bags and angrily crouched down next to the fire. Before he knew it, Arthur was standing over him looking menacing.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Even that tone normally had Merlin backing down, but he was too frustrated right now. He stood up, forcing Arthur to take a small step backwards to stop them from crashing into each other.

"You really don't know what you've been doing, do you? When was the last time you came to the forest, Arthur? When was the last time you ate a full meal, or slept in your bed for more than a few hours?"

"The kingdom…"

"Is falling apart around you, you utter prat! Camelot was fine when you were looking after yourself, but if you don't notice that I've completely made up a mythical creature to just get you out for a few hours, then how are you going to notice anything else?"

"You've what?"

Merlin swallowed, realising how silent the clearing had suddenly gone. He hadn't meant to say that. He had hoped Arthur would be well rested, that he would be thinking straight… But Merlin knew that fate never worked with him when it came to protecting his destiny.

"I…"

"You lied to get the king to stop attending matters of state?"

"Arthur…" Merlin reached out towards him as Arthur made to stride for the horses. Arthur snatched at his wrist, clearly trying to force Merlin to remember his place. Too far gone in his anger, Merlin shoved back.

And Arthur fell.

For a moment, it was harder to say which man was more shocked. Merlin simply stared at the king, sitting at his feet, wondering what on earth had just happened. Arthur seemed to be thinking the same thing, for he was staring around him as if trying to work out how he had got down there. But the anger had gone from his face and he looked nothing more than perplexed.

"Sire?" Merlin asked tentatively, not being entirely sure what was happening. Arthur stared up at him. He no longer looked like a king. He looked like a lost little boy who had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. It was horrible to see and Merlin quickly dropped to his knees next to him so that Arthur didn't have to be reminded that he was the one on the floor.

"It's alright…"

"You've never shoved me before."

"I have. Loads of times."

"I've never felt it before," Arthur's voice was quiet and Merlin folded his legs under himself as he tried to get comfortable.

"You haven't been looking after yourself, Sire," Merlin said softly. Something told him that this might be what got through to Arthur. Merlin should have never been able to push him over, Arthur would be more than aware of that. And yet, somehow, he had. Merlin just hoped it was enough of a wake-up call.

"I have! The kingdom…"

"Needs you to be the stubborn prat who defends her with every breath he has."

"I have been, I've…"

"Drowned yourself in paperwork, made yourself ill and have got yourself to the stage where you can be pushed over by your own servant." Merlin said bluntly, knowing there was no point trying to soften it. He knew that Arthur needed to be made aware of what he was doing to himself.

"I'm not ill."

"Are you sure? Because you look awful."

"I'm not seeing Gaius," Arthur responded hotly, looking as if he was going to stand up again. Feeling brave, Merlin reached forward and clasped Arthur's wrist, keeping him sitting.

"Nor will you need to, Sire. You just need to eat and sleep a bit more, that's all. The paperwork isn't going to multiply overnight just because you got some rest."

Arthur still looked a little lost and Merlin backed off to give him some space. He had been right in thinking that Arthur had no idea what he was doing to himself and it had come as a bit of a shock. Merlin could see the uncertainty creeping back into Arthur's face and knew they were most likely going to need to have the normal talk about whether Arthur was fit to be king or not. But for now, Merlin just focused on spooning the stew into two bowls, hoping that Arthur would start helping himself and eating.

"Here," he offered it out to Arthur, who took it reluctantly.

"I'm not hungry."

"Keep telling yourself that and one day you might believe it," Merlin retorted before sighing, running a hand through his hair. "You say you want to help the kingdom, Arthur. Look at you. I just pushed you over. What are you going to do if there was a sudden creature, or an attack? I'm not sure you would even be able to stand in your armour right now. If you want to help Camelot, you need to help yourself first."

Arthur was staring at him in the firelight and Merlin found himself looking away, beginning to blush. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arthur lift the spoon. There was barely anything on it, but Merlin knew Arthur well. He knew how much the king enjoyed this meal and as soon as the first bit touched his lips, Arthur was inhaling it. Normally, Merlin would have said something, but the sight of Arthur actually eating something made him smile.

The king's meal was gone in moments and Arthur looked surprised. When Merlin asked why, he avoided the servant's gaze.

"My head… it's been fuzzy and pounding lately. I thought it was stress…"

"But it's because you've not been eating," Merlin muttered, taking the bowl of the king. "Now all you need to do is sleep."

And to his utter delight, Arthur let him steer him over to the bedrolls and even caught the blanket when Merlin tossed it at him. The servant continued to eat as Arthur made himself comfortable. Merlin never took his eyes off his king, but a smile spread over his face when Arthur's breathing quickly evened out.

It might have taken a rather harsh reality check for Arthur to realise what he was doing. But maybe now he would stop making Merlin's job so hard?

That was all Merlin could hope for.