Mama
Marian watches her son sleep peacefully in the tent. He is smiling a little so he must be dreaming of something good. She stares a few minutes longer before quietly slipping out of the tent.
She is by herself tonight. Robin and the Merry Men have gone on patrol after hearing about some new threat that could hit Storybrooke. She has to chuckle a little because some things never change. She knows her Robin will always come to the aid of someone. The group of men she came to care for and love are heroes in their own right.
She looks up at the moon enjoying the silence. She always enjoyed staring into the moon. Even as a little girl, the moon represented calmness and tranquility. Some of her best thinking happened during the night.
Marian turns to head to her own tent when she hears Roland's whimpers. Instinctively, she rushes over to him and tries to soothe him. He calls for Robin instead and her heart can help but hurt a little. She knows it is no fault of his own. Robin has been his rock this entire time.
She sees his eyes start to stir. His eyes fall on her and she expects him to make a move. Crawl into her lap or jump into her arms. However, he does neither. He looks around for Robin and starts to cry again.
"Where's papa?" Roland asks.
She reaches out and cups his face. "Daddy and the Merry Men had to help someone," she answers. "But I'm here," she adds.
He wipes his eyes with his tiny fists settling for the fact that she is there. He eventually climbs into her lap resting his head on her chest. She takes comfort in the fact that he didn't completely spurn her. She wishes for her son to warm up to her. If only things hadn't gone so wrong in the Enchanted Forest. All she wants is for Roland to feel safe and loved in her arms.
She hears the steady rhythm of his breathing and realizes he has fallen asleep. She gently lays him down and sleeps beside him praying no more nightmares come to him tonight.
A piercing cry jolts her out of her sleep sometime later. She looks down to see Roland tossing and turning. She doesn't want to jerk him out of anything. She softly calls his name and he wakes. This time he calls for Gina.
Her mind doesn't register the name until it dawns on her. Regina. He wants Regina this second time around.
"Baby, I'm sure she is sleeping and very tired," she said. Roland just looks at her with an unamused expression and she senses a tantrum about to erupt.
"I want Gina," he said crying harder. She wants to cry along with him for different reasons.
"Okay," she says and takes him out of the tent. She starts walking trying to remember how to get to Regina's house.
She stumbles upon the white house and goes to the front door. She knocks and waits nervously.
The door opens and Regina stands there too stunned to move or speak. This woman is the reason her heart is broken and she could easily hurl a hateful remark to her for daring to show up at her door but that isn't who she is anymore.
Her eyes fall to the little boy in Marian's arms. Her eyes go back to Marian's wondering what was wrong.
"He asked for you. I didn't know what else to do," she explains.
"Come in," Regina says and notices how Roland recognizes her voice. He reaches for her and Regina hesitantly takes him mindful of the face his mother is making. A broken mother who feels she has lost her son to another.
Her own pain diminishes greatly as she walks back into the house. Marian follows and shuts the door behind her.
Tension develops anyway because they realize the situation is extremely awkward. The only thing that is keeping them from exploding is Roland.
"Follow me," Regina instructs and walks into the living room careful to sit down. She addresses Roland.
"Why were you crying?"
"The monkey was after me," he answers. She catches Marian's eyes which are now confused. Regina figures the incident never came up between her and Robin.
"He's not going to hurt you anymore remember," Regina says into his ear. "I made him go away. You're safe now."
Roland nods his head and snuggles deeper into her chest. "You promise?"
"I promise," she whispers. "Go to sleep now."
Regina closes her eyes briefly but she can hear the sounds of feet walking away. She opens her eyes to find Marian no longer sitting there. She sighs as she puts Roland down and finds a blanket to cover him with.
It doesn't take long for Regina to find Marian. All she has to do is follow to sniffles and slight hiccups. Marian managed to find her backyard wrapping herself with her shawl.
Regina doesn't know what to say right off. There weren't too many occasions where she had to be the one comforting another adult. It was always her needing the comfort and usually it was Snow doing the talking. Now, she wished Snow was here to comfort Marian.
"Marian," she calls out startling her. Marian doesn't turn around. She can't at the moment because her own emotions are raging. Sadness at her son for refusing her help, anger at Regina for being the one who seems to understand Roland, anger at Robin who had to fall in love with her. Too many unpleasant thoughts running are through her head.
"I'm no longer his mother," she whispers out. She didn't plan on making that statement. It just came out and she couldn't take it back.
She looks up at the moon again trying to reign herself in.
"That's not true," Regina says. There is a genuineness to her voice that catches Marian off guard.
"Why are you so nice to me?" Marian questions facing Regina now. "I half-expected you to throw an insult my way. Something about me being alive."
Regina isn't going to lie to her. "I could have. I could do a lot of things out of pain and anger but it is pointless. My pain doesn't cancel out yours. I sympathize and empathize with you. Yes, you may have torpedoed my love life but we have something in common."
"Roland," Marian states. Regina nods her head in agreement.
"Which brings me back to my original problem. I have no idea what I'm doing. He runs to everyone else but me. I am his second choice for comfort and it rips me apart," she admits. "I don't want to pressure a young child to love me. I just want him to see me as his mama willingly."
Marian shook her head. "I don't know why I just said all of that to you. I'm sorry."
"No, don't apologize. You need to vent and believe me I can judge no one," Regina responds. "When I got Henry I had no clue what to do. He was crying all the time and I was so frustrated. Nothing I did seemed to work. I even went to the doctor for help but all I got in the end was advice to be patient. One day, I made a breakthrough with him and we were fine for a while."
"But you've had your son. I only knew him for a year before my death. All he knows are drawings and stories," Marian refuted. "How do I know my breakthrough will come?"
"You are his mother. No one can take that fact away from you. You have to have faith it will come and believe it with all your heart. Deep down Roland loves you and you will see it soon. He knows me because of what happened last year. Soon, he will know and learn you and he will forget all about me."
Marian chuckled. "I highly doubt it. Who can forget someone who makes such a good impression?" she said referring to her own dealings with Regina.
Regina smirked. "Sarcasm fits you."
The lighthearted moment died down and Marian asked, "What is this about a monkey?"
"Um, we were going to my castle when a flying monkey attacked us. Roland was in the middle of the road when the monkey started coming for him. I scooped him up in my arms. I turned the monkey into a stuffed animal."
Marian gasped at the thought of her son being in danger. She was grateful someone looked out for him. "Thank you."
"It was nothing," she said.
"No, it was. You put your life on the line for a stranger. Perhaps I was wrong about you," Marian said.
Regina smiled. "That means a lot coming from you."
"This may be presumptuous of me but do you mind if Roland stays the night? I assume he will want to see you in the morning."
"Of course not. You and Roland are welcome here. I care for him deeply and I want to help if I am allowed," Regina said.
"Thank you. So where should I put him?"
Regina showed Marian the guest room. Marian put Roland into bed and places a kiss on his forehead. "Goodnight Roland."
Marian goes to move away from him when his hand reaches for her. "Mama."
The sound is faint but both women hear it clear as day. "I'm here Roland," she says and squats down.
Roland's hand loosens and he rolls over to his side. Marian can't help but tear up. She looks over her shoulder to see the 'I told you so' look from Regina.