This is just a small one shot before the epilogue, where Peeta still has fits and he's trying to recover. Enjoy!

"Peeta!" Katniss squealed, running around the counter in the middle of the kitchen. "Peeta, stop!"

Peeta was chasing Katniss around the counter in the kitchen of their home, flour on his hands and an amused smile on his face. But while he was stronger, she was faster. Every time Peeta got close enough to grab her, Katniss slipped right out of his reach, erupting in another fit of giggles, making him laugh as well.

It felt so good to laugh. Because even though the rebellion was won, and the new republic was Hunger Games-free, the scars were still there. Katniss' and Peeta's bodies were living proof that no matter how 'over' the rebellion was, the painful memories of torture, pain, and heartache would still be felt.

Ever since the rebellion ended, and the old Capitol was destroyed, Katniss decided she should let her heart think for once, not her brain. And the first thing her heart did was fight for Peeta. He still had flashbacks, and he still had fits, but her old Peeta was slowly beginning to emerge. A couple months after the rebellion, he allowed her to kiss him. Half a year later, he moved into her empty house, making if feel like a home again. Now here they were, almost a year later, trying to return to whatever sense of normalcy they imagined there to be initially. It was hard, fighting for a man who has no control over his ability to hate you just as much as he loved you. But it was worth it. He was worth it.

"Peeta!" Katniss screeched as Peeta caught her off guard, wrapping a strong arm around her slim waist. He pulled her close to his chest, despite her struggles.

"Gotcha," Peeta winked at her as he touched her nose with his fingertip, leaving behind the white residue.

"Let go!" Katniss laughed, playfully pushing on his broad chest.

"I'm fine with where I'm at," Peeta snickered, reaching both hands down to her hips. He ran his hands up and down her sides, leaving behind flour hand prints on her clothing.

"Seriously, let go!" Katniss told him, although she made no move to get him off of her.

Peeta moved his hands to her tiny waist and picked her up, setting her down on the counter top. She smiled down at him, her hands finding the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head. Peeta raised an eyebrow at her, teasing her.

"Oh, shut up," She told him, already knowing what he was about to say. Katniss grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him.

Katniss ran her hands over the ridges in his back muscles, her fingers moving to dance over the definite lines in his chest. And while she wished this was still the skin of pre-prisoner Peeta, the skin of the boy who showed her how to love, she still felt safe in these new scarred and Capitol-toned arms. She grabbed his body and held him close as he moved his lips to her neck. Katniss became lightheaded and got shivers when Peeta's hands crept under her shirt.

Suddenly, he was off of her and standing on the other side of the kitchen. Katniss instantly knew what was happening as soon as she opened her eyes. She tried to bring herself down from the high Peeta created, trying to even her breathing and brace herself for what he may do to her.

She stared into his eyes as she watched the man she loves disappear behind clouded eyes, the Capitol prisoner appearing.

"Stay downstairs," He breathed, snarling at her before running up the staircase to their bedroom, taking the steps two at a time. Katniss jumped as she began to hear banging and crashing, and the occasional yell.

Standing up slowly, Katniss silently walked up the stairs, begging to whatever God there was that Peeta wouldn't hear her approaching. She made it to the door, opening it slowly, revealing the mess he created. She managed to fully open the door as she assessed the damage: cracked headboard, pillows strewn all over the floor, clothes ripped out of closets, and a very angry Peeta standing in the middle of it all.

"Peeta..." Katniss whispered, eyes roaming over the mess. He flinched at her voice, but he continued on.

"You shouldn't be in here," Peeta warned her breathlessly, taking his focus off of his destructive mess just long enough to glance quickly at Katniss standing in the doorway. She instantly felt relief; even during one of his fits, he was still trying to protect her. He made so much progress. Now, instead of focusing his anger that was intended for her on her, he focused it elsewhere. Unfortunately, elsewhere was their bedroom this time. His mouth said one thing, but his face said another. His usual soft face was contorted and twisted into fury, hate burning in his eyes. Hate aimed at Katniss.

"I know," She said softly, not moving just yet. Usually during his fits, she would be close enough to him that she could grab his wrists and force him to the ground, holding him as he struggled against her until it was over. Katniss usually had the upper hand, but this time, she wouldn't. He was too far away from her on the other side of the room. If she went to him to try and stop him, he would lunge at her instantly. It would be suicide. "This isn't you."

"This is absolutely me. I'm a monster. It's who I am, Katniss," He told her as he ripped the comforter off the bed. His voice was calm, but his body was tight and his movements rigid and mechanic.

"That's what the Capitol made you," Katniss told him, and he momentarily freezes at the mention of the Capitol, but quickly recovers, throwing books off of a shelf. It was their unspoken rule since he had gotten back from the very place: don't mention the old Capitol.

"The Capitol brought out what was inside of me, and if you think any differently, then you're an idiot," He continued in his low and menacing voice, spitting out the words. Katniss felt as if he had physically slapped her. He's called her countless names during his fits; mutt, bitch, low life, a nobody. 'Idiot' was the least explicit word, but it might as well have been all of the above by the way it broke her.

"I know this isn't you, Peeta," She said quietly, keeping her eyes trained on his body as he knocked the vase of flowers Peeta had gotten her a couple days ago onto the floor. A pang instantly coursed through her heart, but she had to remind herself this isn't her real Peeta. He would get her new flowers in a couple hours. This was the hijacked, Capitol Peeta. This wasn't him.

Suddenly, Peeta stopped trashing the bedroom and turned to her. He took a couple steps forward, towards Katniss, but not close enough to touch her. Katniss felt scared as his vacant, angry and clouded eyes stared hers down, but she kept her face composed. Peeta kept his voice low and slow as he spoke.

"I want to break every damn bone in your body," He told her menacingly, his empty eyes wild. He was clearly restraining himself from attacking her, for he was shaking and his muscles were tight. His hands were in tight fists by his side, his knuckles white.

"No-" She tried to say, convince him this isn't her real Peeta, but the Capitol Peeta continued on.

"I want to kill you. I want to murder you. It's who I am, Katniss." He finally began moving again, yanking picture frames off of the wall and throwing them on the ground.

"No, you can't scare me off." Katniss stated, louder and more confident this time.

Peeta stopped again to face her. He began pacing, his clouded eyes never leaving hers.

"Why would you risk it?" He asked her, and she let out a sigh of relief. He seemed calmer. It seemed as if his fit was almost over. "Why would you come in here when I told you to wait downstairs?

"Because I did this," Katniss breathed, tears threatening to spill. It was all her fault. The third Quarter Quell twist, the revolution, him getting captured... It was all her fault. She was the spark that started everything. "This is my fault. I'm the one who made you like this."

"All you did was expose me to who I really am!" He yelled at her, his voice rising as he became frustrated. He ran his hands over his face, his body still shaking as he paced back and forth in front of her.

"This isn't you!" She told him firmly.

"Stop saying that!" He screamed at her, flipping over the bench by the end of their bed. Katniss watched in horror as she saw her favorite books fly to the floor, the pages now bent and wrinkled from their awkward landing on the floor.

Katniss froze with fear. She's dealt with Peeta's manic fits before, but every time felt like the first. It was all so scary to her. That the man who loves her the most, could also hate her the most. And he truly hated her right now.

Peeta stopped pacing and leaned over, resting his hands on his knees. His fit exhausted him, like they usually did. Katniss took this as a sign to step forward, thinking it was over, but he stopped her quickly.

"Don't come any closer." He told her, even though his eyes stayed trained on the wood floor. "Don't get any closer to me."

"I'm not going to let this happen to you," She whispered, taking another step.

"Stop," He said with a bit more edge, his heaving breathing kicking back up again. Katniss was trying to keep him calm, but she was afraid that all she was doing was throwing him into another fit.

"Peeta, I'm not going to give up on you. I believe in you. You can get through this!"

"Stop!" He screamed again, and before she knew it, her back was pressed against their closet door, Peeta's face dangerously close to hers. His muscular arms were on either side of her body, trapping her as he pressed his hands into the door hard. "Stop!" He screamed again, hitting the door behind her with his palm, his hand dangerously close to hitting her face. Thanks to the fit, it was probably what he intended to do.

Katniss stopped breathing. She felt petrified. Peeta once taught her some self-defense moves, just in case they were put in this very situation of Peeta dominating her, but all that knowledge flew out of her head. She just stared at his manic eyes, seeing little black dots from lack of oxygen to her brain.

Breathe, Katniss. Breathe.

Katniss watched his eyes slowly uncloud and clear up, confusion and regret replacing the hate and anger. He backed away from her, realizing what he just did, but kept his hands on the door behind her. Katniss finally let in a shaky breath, unintentionally letting a tear escape that she was trying so hard to contain.

"I'm so sorry," Peeta whispered so quietly, Katniss wasn't even sure she heard it. His eyes were pleading. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," She whispered back, closing her eyes and resting her head against the door behind her, relieved. And it was. She could never hold anything against him. No matter what he did to her.

He moved closer to her, burying his face in her neck as he collapsed his body against hers. What usually made her feel excited now made her feel trapped. But she had to be the strong one of the two. Not only for herself, but for Peeta.

"It's okay," She repeated breathlessly, reaching up to run her shaky fingers through his hairline by his neck. It was then Peeta started to cry.

"Katniss, I don't know what's happening to me," Peeta sobbed, his voice muffled by her neck.

"Shh, it's okay. Peeta, it's okay," She tried to comfort him, rubbing his back with her other hand. "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

"I'm scared," He cried into Katniss' neck, his voice cracking.

"We'll get through it," She whispered, moving her hands up to his bare shoulders. Peeta shivered, but didn't move an inch.

"I hurt you, Katniss," He muttered, his voice dripping with resentment. But this time, it wasn't directed towards Katniss. It was aimed at himself. "I hit you. I slap you. I call you names. I try to kill you. It's a never ending list of why I'm such a sick, twisted, fucked up boyfriend. Or lover, or fiance, or husband, or whatever the fuck we are."

"Peeta, it's okay," She repeated, moving her hand that was running through his hair to his chin, making Peeta look at her. Her eyes met heartbroken, bloodshot, teary ones. She ignored his use of vulgar language; they didn't exactly have the purest mouths nor bodies. "It isn't you. It's a different person. You would never hurt me."

"I almost did this time," Peeta stated quietly, disregarding her two statements before the third he responded to. He sounded defeated, but he dipped his head so Katniss' thumb that was previously on his chin, was now resting on his lips. If this were any other moment in time, Katniss would have smiled at his action. "I was so close to giving in. I almost couldn't fight it. That's what scares me."

Katniss felt helpless and at a loss for words. Usually, Peeta was the one who comforted her, not the other way around. He always had an answer for everything, even if it meant he had to make up some elaborate story to make Katniss laugh or crack a smile.

Unfortunately, Katniss didn't have half the silver tongue Peeta was blessed with. He could always talk her through her problems, and eventually his lips helped as well. Katniss didn't have the same power with words like Peeta did. She was a horrible speaker - she learned that the hard way during the victory tour - and she was never good at translating her feelings into terms.

So she did the only thing she knew to do. What she was accustomed to.

She kissed him.

Peeta instantly struggled against her. He felt guilty, as though he didn't deserve her. Didn't deserve this.

"Katniss..." Peeta breathed, taking a step back from his love. "I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," Katniss told him firmly, grabbing his wrists gently and pulling him back to her. But before she could even reattach their lips, he moved away from her again.

"Katniss, no." He told her, hanging his head. He removed himself from her grip, stepping even further away than the first time, just out of her reach. "I really can't do this. I'm sorry."

Katniss tried to swallow his rejection as he walked away from her, picking up the cover of the bed and putting it back on the mattress. He dropped his pants before sliding in between the sheets in nothing but his boxers. Without a word, he scooted to his side of the bed, turning his back to her. It was still early in the evening, but sleeping was his only break from reality. He needed this.

In all their days of being together, Peeta had never once rejected Katniss. Sure, there were times when he struggled with his demons and guilt. But he eventually gave into her. He eventually gave her his body, like he did many times before. His way of coping was distance. Her way of coping was sex. It was all so twisted. Neither of them really won when it came down to this. Either he felt paranoid, or she felt hollow. There was no happy medium.

So, Katniss slid down the wall at the pace of her slow moving tears, allowing the emptiness to set in.

Hours must have been by, for it was dark outside when Katniss emerged from her own mind. She looked over to Peeta, his back still to her. His body moved slightly up and down from his even breathing. He must have fallen asleep.

Trying to not make any noise, Katniss stood up and slowly removed her boots, jeans and shirt, before climbing into bed next to Peeta in nothing but her underwear. With a deep breath, she cuddled into his broad back, his warmth radiating off of him as she wrapped a thin arm around his strong frame. She closed her eyes as she hitched a leg around Peeta's waist, pulling her close to him.

When Katniss was beginning to drift to sleep, Peeta shifted, turning towards her and wrapping her in his strong arms.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into her hair, his voice barely audible.

"I thought you were asleep," Katniss whispered back, burying her face in his chest. She still felt the sting of his rejection, and she was embarrassed to look at him. Peeta sighed, pulling her underwear-clad body closer.

Peeta didn't say anything back. One of his hands rested on her lower back, drawing small circles, while the other slipped under her bra clasp, massaging the space between her petite shoulder blades.

"You know I love you," Peeta finally spoke, kissing her temple.

"I know," She answered, kissing his collarbone in retaliation. Peeta sighed again.

"God, I love you so much," He continued, mainly to himself, as he hugged her body against his. "I don't know what I would do..." He trailed off.

Peeta didn't need to finish his thought. Katniss knew what he would say. He hurt her plenty of times in his fits before. They would never admit it, but they were both surprised Katniss never ended up with more bruises than she already had.

"You won't hurt me," She whispered when he pulled away slightly, cupping his face in her hands.

"I beg to differ," He mumbled, using an index finger to trace the fading bruise on her collar bone that he gave her almost two weeks ago. Katniss shivered under his delicate touch. She reached a hand up to grasp his wrist, holding his hand in place on her skin. He sighed, but wrapped it around her shoulder anyways.

But when Katniss grazed her lips against his, he pulled away completely with a torn whisper of her name.

"No," She said in a firm demand, hitching a leg around his hip and grabbing his shoulder, trying to pull him back to her. "Peeta, no."

"Not tonight, Katniss," He said apologetically, turning her back on her once again. Something inside her snaps.

"Why do you do this to me?" Katniss whispered, her voice cracking. She didn't want to bring this up, especially not tonight. This is a conversation you have in the middle of a day, not right after a fit and in the middle of the night, where everything is more acute. But she couldn't stop herself. The floodgates were open, and nothing could calm the waves.

Katniss saw Peeta's back tighten, but she continued. She had to.

"Why do you just shut me out? You know I'm hurt too. I'm probably just as bad as Annie, but you treat me like I deserve to be on a pedestal. I'm no better than you. Just let me in, Peeta." She was sobbing now. "I love you. I love you so much, Peeta. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Finally, Peeta turns to face her, and he takes in the broken girl next to him. Her face was contorted in distress, tears running from her eyes to her nose, soaking the pillow beneath her head as she lay on her side. Her long brown hair is pulled into a disheveled side braid, and her tan skin is a stark contrast to the white sheets. Her nose is red, and her gray eyes are swollen and bloodshot. Her uncontrolled sobs shake the bed, and the noises she makes are somewhere between a loud whine and an uncontrolled sniffle.

It was absolutely heartbreaking, watching the girl he loved completely break down in front of him. It was even more heartbreaking when he knew the reason for her troubles was him.

"C'mere," He whispered, pulling her into another bear hug. His arms found their way around her body, holding her close. Her hands stayed folded against her chest, her tears soaking his bare skin.

"Peeta?" Katniss breathed against his neck. Her tears had ceased, but her body was still shivering and her voice was still shaky. He nudged the top of her head with his nose, signaling her to continue. "Am I as damned as Annie?"

"No," He answered without skipping a beat, combing through her braid with his fingers, undoing it completely. "Annie is more..."

"Crazy? Deranged? Insane?" Katniss offered when Peeta trailed off, deadpanning.

"Annie is crazy. You are not," He told her firmly, breaking away from her body to cradle her face in his hands, making her look at him. "You're so much stronger than she is. She's stuck in the past. You? You're able to pull out of it, and live a normal life. You're stronger."

"Yeah, but she lost Finnick..." Katniss stated hoarsely, her eyes dimming slightly at the mention of their late friend. "I'd be worse off than Annie if anything ever happened to you."

It was then, when Peeta reached his thumbs up and brushed something off from under her eyes, that Katniss realized that she started to cry again. Her body was shaking, and her nose was running. God, she was a mess.

"Nothing's going to happen to me. The war's over. I'm here," He murmured in her ear, pulling her close again. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you, baby."

Katniss' head snapped up to look at him so fast, the top of her head almost hit his chin. Peeta never used affectionate names for her, let alone baby.

"I love you," She said simply, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss. Surprisingly, he returned it.

Testing the waters, she tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer as she kissed him again. He seemed to still be a bit hesitant, but all signs of protest faded away. And when Katniss lightly bit his lower lip, he let a small moan sip through his teeth.

But when Katniss reached a hand down to begin playing with the waistband of his boxers, he pulled away. She was about to protest, but Peeta rested a finger on her lips, silencing her.

"We're going to try this, okay? And we're going to take it slow. Very slow. If I hurt you, tell me as soon as I do. We'll stop." Katniss nods quickly "You trust me right?"

"I trust you," Katniss breathes, pecking his lips. Peeta sighs and grabs her arms, keeping her close. "I trust you completely."

Suddenly, his demeanor changes. Gone is the hesitant Peeta, scared of hurting the last person left in his life. Instead, he rolls her onto her back, immediately reaching behind her to undo the clasp to her bra. He swiftly slides the bra down her arms before tossing it aside, earning an appreciative sigh from Katniss under him.

"I trust you," She repeats, bringing her lips to his neck. He shudders, gripping her hips firmly, pushing them against his own.

Katniss reaches her hands down, pushing a few fingers under the waistband of his boxers before pulling, throwing them over to join her bra.

"You're so beautiful..." He trails off, kissing her neck, working his way down. The petite muscles in her core contract as his lips ghost over the lines of her stomach. She grabs at his hair, pulling tightly on the roots.

When his lips reach her panties, he pulls back, replacing his lips with his fingers. He hooks an index finger under the simple cotton, pulling them down her thin legs slowly, his eyes never leaving her face.

On his way back to her lips, he runs his palms over her smooth legs, relieved that she finally put on some more weight after the civil war. She now had the body of a thin runner, instead of the starved look she had almost two years prior.

Kissing her lips again, he reached down and grabbed her thigh, throwing a leg around his waist. When Katniss gave him a nod, granting him her final permission, Peeta pushed into her, letting out a moan almost as loud as hers.

It has been too damn long. It's been weeks, and her body had never felt so refreshing. So needed. She was like his own personal addiction, his own personal obsession. She was his pure bliss. She was his weakness.

Glancing down at Katniss under him, it was enough to send him into another loud moan as he continued to push into her slim body. Her head was thrown back, her dark hair encompassing her head like a halo. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip, periodically letting a moan or whimper slip through her teeth.

Her hands were all over him. His shoulders, his biceps, his back, his ass. She pulled on his hair. She lacerated the skin on his back with her nails. She'd always been the rough one between the two, but tonight was different. She was letting go of all past happenings, focusing only on him.

As he quickened his pace, he reached down to cup her face with a hand, kissing her hard. She clung to him for dear life, whimpering into his mouth.

He grabbed her other thigh and threw it around his waist, causing Katniss to yank on his golden locks.

When he felt her begin to unravel, he couldn't help but follow suit.

He collapsed on top of her, almost suffocating her with his weight. But she welcomed it. She hugged his sweaty body against hers, running her fingers up and down his triceps, allowing her nails to drag behind. He shivered on top of her.

He began to roll off of her, but she grabbed his sided, holding him in place on top of her. Peeta began to chuckle.

"I'm twice your body weight. I'll crush you." He said with a small smile, kissing her nose. Katniss smiled. He was finally back.

"I know, I just... I need this," Katniss breathed, closing her eyes before he could object. "I need you."

Without a word he obliged.

Her hands ran up and down his back, her movements in sync with her breathing. They eventually moved to their sides, tangling their legs and arms together. Peeta wrapped his arms around her naked body, pulling her close. Her arms were around his own waist, lying limp as she began to fall asleep.

"We're gonna be okay, Katniss," He whispered into her hair, hoping she could hear it through the clouds of sleep. "We're gonna be okay."