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Sins of the mother: Chapter One: An episode

Lin, age four stood by her parents' bedroom door, hand clasped tightly in her big six-year-old sister Kya's hand. The black haired earthbender gripped her sister's fingers hard, her heart pounding against her chest as she watched their mother being held protectively in their mama and mommy's arms on the ground, their mother heaving her breaths out as she thrashed in the grasp of the other two benders.

Lin looked at all three of her older sisters, wondering if they knew why their mother got like this. Lin knew that their mother was sick. Their mother; a beautiful, strong, intelligent firebender named Azula also suffered from nightmares and suffered from what their mommy called "episodes." Lin didn't know what that meant, but she knew from how their mother was whimpering and shaking against their mama and mommy that it wasn't anything good. Lin knew that in the morning, their mother would sit at the table, eating breakfast wordlessly, avoiding eye contact with all four of her children.

This had happened before. The earliest time Lin could recall this happening had been when she was two. Her mother was picking her up and twirling Lin around happily, when a haunted look came over the black haired woman's face and she almost dropped Lin before Azula's oldest daughter, Zenya came over and grabbed Lin from her, and their mommy and mama had come into the living room and helped the firebender who was at that point crying out and gripping her head.

Their mama, Toph Bei Fong and their mommy, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe had run into the room, seizing Azula and getting her to sit down with them.

Lin still didn't know what set her mother off. Not back then, not now, nor any of the times that Azula had had any of her "episodes" as the rest of the family called them.

It hurt the girl to know that her mother was in so much pain at times and there was nothing she could do to help.

When the four girls had heard their mother screaming, Lin had grabbed her sacks of dirt and rocks, running to her parents' bedroom, getting ready to bend the earth in the sacks as weapons. Kya and Ruaz had both run in too, both wielding their waterskins, both waterbending children preparing to use the water to protect their mother as Lin was more than willing to do with the earth she had. Zenya had walked in a few minutes later, a sad look in her eyes, as if she knew what was happening.

Zenya had not been stoking up any fire in either of her hands like Lin had been expecting. She sometimes wondered how Zenya knew that their mother was having these….episodes.

Katara lifted her head and glanced at her daughters. "Zenya, Ruaz, take your sisters into the main room. It's okay. Your mother's fine. She just needs some time with us and to heal. It's alright. Zenya, Ruaz, go." She nodded towards the door and Lin looked, seeing her two oldest sisters move; Ruaz throwing her waterskin over her shoulder to hang there and taking Kya by the hand and leading her to the door and Zenya scooping Lin herself up in her arms.

"But…...but…..but we could help!" Kya protested, waterskin still in her hand and staring at their mother on the floor, "I'm a waterbender like you, mommy! And so is Ruaz!"

"Don't argue with us!" Toph snapped, her head moving towards where she heard their voices, eyes though blind were narrowed in anger, "Go to the living room and play with Tanku and we'll take care of your mother." Though her words were rough, her hands cradled Azula's head, her left palm caressing the firebender's cheek in a soothing motion as their mother hyperventilated and kept Azula's shoulders on her lap while Katara supported Azula's lower torso on her own lap.

Ruaz tugged Kya and then went through the threshold of the room out into the hall. Zenya held Lin tightly in her arms.

Zenya appeared nonchalant but Lin caught the concerned glint in her sister's golden eyes. Zenya was afraid for their mother just like she was. Lin's stomach fell as Zenya held her and Lin threw her arms around her sister's neck, tears smearing against the nape of her firebending sibling's throat.

"Shh," Zenya mumbled, her hand stroking down Lin's black hair and back, "It'll be okay. Have you ever known mommy not to be able to heal mother? Mother will be back to normal in no time." Lin tried not to flinch at how Zenya's voice cracked. She knew that not even her sister believed that everything was okay.

All four sisters were soon in the living room; Ruaz sitting Kya down onto the sofa and Zenya carrying Lin to the cushion next to Ruaz and sitting down next to them, holding Lin close. Lin didn't worry about the earth she carried around. The earth was in four small sacks she had asked their mommy to tie to the hem of her shirt. The four sacks hung there as she was carried by her big sister. Lin buried her face in Zenya's black hair. She loved being held like this. She knew how childish it was of her, but she loved it when her mother, mama and mommy would hold her, allowing her to wrap her legs around their abdomens and hugging their necks. She knew both her mother and mama valued strength, so it was somewhat embarrassing to admit, even to herself that she loved being babied. Her sisters knew of course, and their mommy was always happy to baby all of them, and she knew that her mama said that she was very good at knowing when someone was lying, so her mama probably knew too.

Lin kept her chin on Zenya's neck but looked over to Ruaz and Kya, watching them and listening to them.

"I don't understand," Kya spoke sadly, deep blue eyes pained, "Why does mother get like that sometimes?"

There was growling from the floor and Ruaz, without looking bent her arm down, stroking her palm against their servalfox, Tanku's sleek, spotted red and black fur. The servalfox was lying on his side, dark eyes watching the children of his masters. Tanku had been adopted when Kya had turned four. He had been a birthday present for the incessantly pleading waterbending child, desperate for a pet that wasn't already Ruaz's and Zenya's. Zenya and Ruaz's gophermoose, Lapbu was in the backyard grazing, but tomorrow morning they'd groom him. He had been adopted when Ruaz was five and Zenya was nine. Kya loved Lapbu but she regarded Tanku as hers.

As Ruaz pet and scratched the now purring beast, the eleven-year old said quietly, voice sounding numb, "I don't know. She hasn't been like that for a while. Mommy says that it happens when she gets a bad memory or something. I don't know really how it works."

Kya shook her head, jumping up and sitting on the couch between Ruaz and Zenya. "Why doesn't mommy ever let us try to heal her, Ruaz? We're both waterbenders, right?"

"It isn't like that, Kya." Zenya spoke, startling Lin, "Mother isn't sick like that. The kind of sickness that she has is in her head. You can't use bending on it. Right now, mother just needs people that love her to be with her."

Lin's eyes widened and both she and Kya were about to react the same way.

"Then why did mommy and mama send us out of the room?" Kya asked, jumping off the sofa, "If we're with mother then she'll get better!" she was about to move away from the sofa when Ruaz used her other hand to grab her little sister's wrist, keeping the young waterbender from leaving. Lin had the same thought as Kya and tried to struggle out of Zenya's grasp, but her oldest sibling held on tight.

"Kya, Lin, no." Zenya commanded sharply, "Do you think mother wants either of you to see her like this? She'll feel happier if you don't look at her while she's having "episodes." Why do you think she never talks about it in front of us?"

Lin stopped squirming and thought about it. Actually, why didn't their mother talk about it ever?

As if sensing her little sister's thoughts, Zenya answered, "It's called "pride," Lin, or at least mother wants to have some of her dignity left."

Lin blinked. "What's dignity, sis?" She asked, eyes wide in contemplation.

Zenya chuckled, but Ruaz answered for her, "It's respect." When Ruaz thought that her two little sisters didn't understand, she supplied a bit more. "It means 'honor'."

Lin was surprised and glanced at Kya who was also stunned. Honor. They had heard that word uttered many times before by their uncle Zuzu and their uncle Aang. They didn't know why it was so important. Lin asked Kya plenty of times what the "big deal" was about honor, but her big sister didn't know either.

Ruaz saw how her little sisters were gaping and laughed, making Tanku jump a little, "It's not something physical that you can touch but like love and friendship, it's important. At least to mother and uncle Zuzu it is."

Lin's cheeks flushed and she glared at her big sister, "Well if 'honor' is so important that we can't see mother, then I don't want it! Honor's stupid."

Ruaz's eyes became wide and Zenya hissed, forcing a yelp from the small earthbender, "Don't you say that! Certainly don't let mother hear that. Lin, I know you want to be with her and keep her company, but we can't do anything right now. Let mama and mommy take care of it. They've been looking after mother before any of us were born."

Lin watched Zenya, examining her. Zenya was the oldest of them. She was going to turn sixteen in eight months. The fifteen-year-old had seen more of their mother's episodes and how their mommy and mama soothed it than any of them. Ruaz was born four years after Zenya, but their big firebending sister had seen a lot. So when their mother had started screaming, that had probably been why she hadn't started firebending. She knew that there was no immediate threat.

"She is getting better though." Zenya continued, smiling, though her gold eyes were still sober, "I'm actually surprised that she had an incident tonight." She peered at Ruaz, "Do you know if anything happened to make mother like this tonight?"

Ruaz shook her head. "No," She answered, appearing lost, "I don't know. I ran in right around the time that Kya and Lin did. I have no idea what happened. I don't think there's really a trigger for this. Mommy says that sometimes it just happens."

Zenya sighed, hugging Lin tighter. She met Ruaz's blue eyes, "It's sometimes so sporadic. I thought that since we haven't seen her like this in a while, she might be better, but I guess that's not something that can ever really be fixed."

Ruaz smiled, her copper face saddened, "I thought you looked gloomy when you came into the room. I guess you expected something like this when you heard mother?"

Zenya shrugged, amber eyes now downcast, giving her sister all the answers she needed. Lin laid her chin on Zenya's shoulder. She didn't understand what was going on, but hoped she'd understand it when she got older. She wanted to find a way to help her mother. What she did know was that their house was a little different from a lot of other houses. At least when it came to a particular object that was missing in the house. There were no mirrors to speak of in the house except for the one that Zenya had in her room, and their mommy instructed for all four of them to share that mirror, and not allow their mother to see it. Lin had no idea why. She had seen plenty of mirrors in their uncle Aang's house. There were plenty too at the Fire Nation palace, though they would quickly be covered up with fire red silk as soon as Lin and her family came over. She knew now that it was to protect her mother from…from something. She had never witnessed her mother near a mirror to know what she was like in front of them. All she knew was that when it came to her mother, mirrors were not good things.

Something else Lin noticed; strange men in green with the Earth Kingdom emblem on the front of their robes and large, round straw hats on would appear every now and then. Lin had seen their mother talk with them. She didn't know who they were. Their parents and Zenya called them the "Dai Li," but Lin didn't know what that was supposed to mean.

She knew that the Dai Li were earthbenders just like her and like her mama but that was all the knowledge she had of them. Their mother claimed that they would protect her and her sisters no matter what, but Lin didn't know them.

"I don't care." Lin mumbled into Zenya's ebony mane, and moved away from it when she realized her sisters probably couldn't hear her, "I don't care," She repeated loudly, "I don't care about honor either, Kya. I just want mother to be happy. Why don't we ask mommy and mama why mother acts like this in the morning?"

"Lin!" Zenya snapped, and due to her close proximity to her sister, Lin couldn't prevent a whimper of shock, "No. Mother doesn't act like it most of the time but her feelings are fragile. Lin," Zenya pushed Lin away from her person, forcing the black haired, golden eyed earthbender to stare at her sister, "Lin, you promise me that you won't ask mother or either mommy or mama about this in the morning or ever, do you understand?"

Lin froze. She knew Ruaz and Kya were both fixating their eyes on her and Zenya. She knew Ruaz certainly was looking at them, since Tanku was hissing (more than likely because Ruaz wasn't petting him anymore and was too busy staring) and she only looked befuddled at her older sister who was glaring at her.

"Lin!" Zenya snapped, shaking the earthbender in her hands, "Promise me!"

"Zenya!" Ruaz yelped, voice indicating her worry for Lin, "Stop. She was just concerned about mother. Don't shake her."

Zenya didn't seem to hear Ruaz as she stared even more intensely at Lin. "Lin?" She asked, voice sounding dangerous, "Promise?"

Lin gulped, realizing that there probably wasn't anything she could do. She nodded.

"Promise." She mumbled, lowering her head and Zenya hugged her back to her chest again, arms holding her tightly.

"Good." Zenya whispered and Lin barely heard her, "Now get to sleep, little girl." She turned her head and looked at her younger waterbending sibling, "You too, Kya. You should sleep too."

Kya nodded and so wasn't surprised at all when Ruaz took her hand and got off the couch, guiding her little sister out of the living room into the hallway. Zenya got up, still holding Lin close and followed.

"Goodnight, Tanku." Kya called over her shoulder. The feline-canine beast growled back in response as it rolled over and closed its eyes for sleep.

"Goodnight, Tan-Tan," Lin said affectionately, smiling at their pet's nickname.

Zenya carried Lin to her room as Ruaz led Kya to her room. When Zenya laid Lin onto the earthbending girl's bed, placing a kiss on her little sister's pale forehead, she smiled and untied the sacks on Lin's shirt, taking the four little sacks by the strings and placing them on the table by the younger girl's bed.

"Night, Lin." Zenya whispered tenderly.

"Goodnight, big sister." Lin mumbled, closing her eyes and drifting off as she grabbed her stuffed badgermole, holding it close to her chest, praying to Agni and the spirits that her mother was having a peaceful night sleep now.

Zenya watched her sister begin to snore and turned, leaving the room. She came out into the hallway and saw Ruaz leaving Kya's room.

"How was she?" Zenya asked, fear for both her sisters prodding at her mind, "Is Kya going to let go and just sleep for now?"

Ruaz shrugged, "Looks like it. What about Lin?"

Zenya grimaced. She felt awful. "Lin is so afraid for mother. She always has been ever since she first saw mother like this. She's very protective of her."

Ruaz was visibly taken aback. "Aren't you?" She asked, stunned, "I certainly am."

Zenya tried not to roll her eyes at her sister's drama, "Of course I'm protective of her. I'm protective of all three of our mothers, and of you, Kya, Lin, Tanku and Lapbu. And of our uncles, aunts and cousins, okay? I'm just worried about mother getting even more disturbed or upset. If we want mother to improve, we need Kya and Lin not to ask awkward or invasive questions. As we've just established, mother has her pride."

Ruaz nodded. Oh by Agni did she know that her mother was proud. Ruaz narrowed her gaze when she realized what her sister just said. "You mean, that we need them to not be around?"

The firebender shrugged, "That would be the idea, yeah. I think I should confront our parents myself."

Ruaz was now stupefied. She leaned back against the wall for support, "Wait, 'our parents?' Does that include mother?" She clarified carefully, "And what do you mean 'myself,' Zenya? What about me?" Zenya smiled and decided to confirm it for her sister, "It's okay, Ruaz. I have a backup plan for mother. We see if mother can walk around the garden with Kya and Lin and make sure that Kya and Lin shut their mouths about the matter. That's where you come in, Ruaz. You're going to make sure Kya and Lin don't ask anything while I question mama and mommy."

Ruaz blinked. "You're going to confront the two of them yourself?"

Zenya nodded, knowing that this might make their parents incredibly angry, "Yeah. And you are going to keep Kya and Lin and mother preoccupied in the garden during that time. Lin and Kya are right. We need to find out the root of this, one way or another. You think it's a good plan?"

Ruaz shook her head, sable hair flying around her shoulders. "I think you're the one that has mental problems, not mother." The young waterbender answered, smirking when Zenya glared.

Author's Note:

Just a little "through the eyes of" concerning Toph and Azula's children and Katara and Azula's children fic. I've had KataraxAzula and TophxAzula on my mind for a while now, so this is sort of a start. Hope you liked it.

And yes, for those that are wondering, Zenya, Ruaz, Kya and Lin are biologically Azula, Katara and Toph's children. Long story short: spirit stuff. No homophobic comments, no flames, justfeedback please.