Hey guys!

So this idea just popped in my head this morning. I've always wanted to write one of these kinds of stories and it seems like a lot of people have written one too, so I was like what the heck. I'll try to keep this as realistic as possible but research can only get me so far. I know this isn't completely accurate, plus the stuff I did find for this story is for present time and not the 60's. Also, I may or may not continue depending on your guy's thoughts. If I do, this whole story will last until Pony catches up to where he's seventeen. Also lastly, Pony is fourteen for the majority of this chapter and it takes place two months after the Outsiders. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, but desperately wish I did! :)

So This Is It

Chapter One

So this is it. I'm finally back, it's all I ever dreamed and ever wanted, but I find myself hesitating on pulling this handle to open the car door. My hand rests on it, sweaty and damp. Half of of me wants to throw that door open and run, the other half just wants to sit there forever. Is this too good to be true? I've waited so long for this moment and now I don't think I can do it.

"You ready?" the woman in the driver's seat in front of me says and I'm not sure what to answer because I really don't know. I see Darry open the front door, taking a step onto the porch. This really is real, and it scares me. All I could think about was what got me here where I am today. I just turned seventeen a few weeks ago and been stuck in custody of the state for the past three years. I've missed out on a lot during that period, and as much as I want to catch up on that, I don't.

I don't want to hear about how they all moved on without me. I couldn't move on but they probably did, after all, they are stronger than I am. I just couldn't help but miss them everyday, think about them everyday. You know it's not good when you find yourself even missing Steve Randle, or getting jumped by Socs. It's quite horrible if you ask me because I feel like none of them are worth missing, but sure enough during the past two and a half years I would have killed to have someone in a madras shirt driving a tuff car call me "grease."

I missed our crummy neighborhood in Tulsa and now that I'm back in my beloved home that I itched to see again, I find myself thinking about the journey I took to get back to sitting in this car, holding onto this handle with sweaty palms. It all started pulling away from a similar scene like this. The car was identical, the houses and neighborhood were the same, just slightly less rundown, old, and trashed…

oOo

I didn't cry, at least not until I knew I was a couple blocks away. I held it in until I couldn't hold it in anymore. I sat in the backseat, holding my backpack tightly against my chest, like a kindergartner who doesn't want to go to school but their parents are forcing them anyway. I felt like that was happening too, I technically was being forced to go somewhere that I didn't want to go.

Darry was always scared this could happen and Soda and I never believed it actually would. It was just typical Darry worrying about everything that possibly could go wrong and when Darry made a mistake, well Soda and I still thought nothing would happen, but something did happen. What Darry did caused me to sit in the back of this car, driving me away from the remains of my family and the only home I never knew.

It wasn't fair though; Soda got to stay, why couldn't I? The state and their rules are stupid and I just wished they'd go out and help kids who need help and not kids who are fine like I was. It was a mistake, everybody makes them and afterwards move on and forget about them. Why couldn't the state do that? It seemed fair to me. Gosh though, why couldn't Soda be taken too? It would just make things so much easier on me, at least he'd be sitting next to me, which is a million times better than being alone.

Two months ago I loved being alone, heck even the day before this I loved being alone but now I don't like it. It makes be feel icky and horrible. I almost feel abandon, even though I know they won't abandon me-Darry and Soda, they would never, they're my brothers, they'll fight this until they literally can't fight no more and I'm going to do the same, or at least try.

It felt like forever and a day until the lady driving the car, my social worker Ms. Dailey, stopped the car in front of a building, actually it was a house-a big house with a tall fence surrounding it and a sign on the gate that read "Oklahoma City's Home for Boys" and I instantly knew that fence wasn't just to keep people from getting in, but out as well. Two guards opened the gate and Ms. Dailey drove up the driveway. I always liked her. She was always very nice and patient with my family. She had dirty blond hair that was always up in a bun and a smile from ear to ear planted on her face. But now, I'm not so sure if I liked her anymore, after all she was the one who drove me to this place.

"Well, we're here," she said with a sigh while turning her head back to face me. Even though there was no one in the passenger seat it was a rule that I had to sit in the back, which I think was stupid. "You ready to go in?"

I wanted to say no because that was the truth but I had to lie because even if I was ready or not, I still had to walk through those doors and into that building. I just simply nodded instead. The tears stopped falling about half an hour ago and my face was sticky and hard where they dried. I clutched my backpack's strap in my fist as I pulled on the door handle, reluctantly getting out of the car.

"It will be alright," Ms. Dailey told me with an encouraging smile, or a meant to be encouraging smile. "This place isn't that bad, and you shouldn't be here long. Normally foster families don't take children your age, but I'm sure it won't be that hard for me to find you a family."

I already have a family, I thought while I followed her to the big double entrance doors. I couldn't believe it though. This was my brothers and I's worse dream since my parents died coming true. My stomach dropped to the floor as I stepped inside. We were both greeted by some man.

"Ponyboy, this is Mr. Smith, he's in charge around here. I must be going, it's another long drive back to Tulsa."

The man shook the woman's hand. "Thank you for bringing him down here Melissa. It was a pleasure seeing you again."

Ms. Dailey nodded and left me alone with Mr. Smith. He was a big guy, stout and round, with hint of beard. He reminded my of that guy Jerry, that school teacher in Windrixville who was too heavy to fit through the window during that fire.

"Come with me son." The man waved his hand as he started walking down the hallway, and I followed. We went up a staircase to the top, and third floor and took me to a small room with two bunk beds cramped inside. The walkway between the two beds was probably about three feet wide.

"That's your bed," he said while pointing to the bottom bunk on the right. He told me to put my bag on it and I did. "Your bag will be searched for weapons or drugs. I hope you didn't bring anything like that with you."

I did. I had a half pack of cigarettes that Two-Bit gave me and a lighter in my jeans pocket and a full pack in my backpack.

"You'll be in here when you're sleeping so don't worry about the space," Mr. Smith said as he lead me out of the room. "You are allowed on the third floor and second floor only. Third floor is just bedrooms and the room over there," he pointed down the hall to a doorway with no door. "That is the wreck room, bathroom is right next to it."

We walked down the stairs again and he led me down another hallway. "Second floor is the where the school is and a cafeteria. Meals are served three times a day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You are required to be in the cafeteria for every meal." He pointed down the hall again to another doorway with no door. I could tell it was the cafeteria from the tables I saw.

He opened a door which brought me into an office. He pointed at a chair in front of his desk while he sat behind it. I sat down in it and folded my hands in my lap. I felt like I was talking to the principal after getting in trouble at school, especially since the man hasn't smiled at all since I met him. His face just stayed dull and grumpy the entire time like it was frozen that way.

"Since tomorrow is Wednesday, and it is a school day, you are required to attend school. You're classroom is room 3A, which is right next to the cafeteria. Your teacher will be Ms. Phillips. After lunch we allow an hour for you to be outside and enjoy the fresh air if the weather allows it. If it's too cold or hot, raining or snowing we will not allow you outside. If you got into any trouble at all, we will not allow you outside, is that understood?"

I nodded my head, a little afraid to speak, but I guess that wasn't the answer he wanted.

"Is that understood?" he asked, slightly raising his voice.

"Yes Sir."

Mr. Smith nodded his head in approval of my answer. "Good to hear. Like I said earlier, there are no drugs or weapons allowed, if you have any on you, I suggest you hand them over right now so you don't get into trouble later."

I hesitated. It's like he knew I had a pack of smokes in my pocket. I sighed and reached into it and dug out the half carton and the lighter and reluctantly placed them on his desk. I am going to go crazy without those things.

"It's nice to know we have someone who's honest living here. As well of the no drugs or weapons rule, there is no fighting with the other boys or adults. It is not tolerated here and there will be consequences for behavior like that. Lights out is at ten o'clock and breakfast is served at seven thirty. You are allowed to make phone calls and have visitors but since you are new here, for adjustment you are not allowed to have them until we believe you are ready. If you break any rules that will also prevent you from those privileges as well. Is that clear?"

I nodded my head. "Yes Sir. It's crystal."

Mr. Smith nodded. "Alright then. Go on, we're all done here."

I stood up from my chair and glanced at the clock before heading out. It was already eight thirty. I've been in this miserable place for hour, which is an hour too long. I should be at home, sitting on the couch reading a book while Darry sits in the recliner reading the newspaper and Soda does whatever Sodapops do! He's too unpredictable sometimes. Instead I'm an hour and a half away in Oklahoma City walking to the third floor of a boys home. It's definitely not my cup of tea.

I went into the bathroom and completely avoided looking into the wreck room where all the other boys living here were. I didn't want to meet them even though I knew I eventually would have to, three of them are my roommates after all.

I splashed water onto my face. I just had to live here for a little bit. Darry would fix this like he always does and everything will go back to normal. I just had to get over living here for a few days. I looked at myself in the mirror after I dried my wet face and sighed. What I really needed was a cigarette but I didn't have any.

I left the bathroom and went to the room I was in earlier, my bedroom, but at the moment I refused to call it that. My bedroom was in Tulsa at my house where Soda slept next to me at night, not this cramped little bunk bed filled room. This was my temporary place to sleep, not my bedroom.

My bag laid on top of it of the bed, just where I left it when Mr. Smith was showing me around. I jumped for it as hope filled my body and hastily started digging into it, but all hope drained out when I found out that it really was searched and those cigarettes I left in there were no longer there. I lied down disappointingly on my "bed." The mattress was softer than the one Soda and I slept on, but I didn't like it. I didn't like anything there and I thought that as tears slipped out of my eyes again, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

But it didn't last long…

I woke up I don't know when, heavily breathing and slightly scared. Actually, scratch that, I was very scared. The room was dark, someone turned off the light I left on when I dozed off. I looked over to the bed across from me and spotted someone sleeping in the bed. I was glad my nightmare didn't wake anyone up, that would've been embarrassing.

I sighed and closed my eyes, turning my head towards the wall. There may have been three other people in the room, but I felt more alone than ever and was too scared to fall back asleep on my own.

I hope you liked it. I'll update probably next week-ish. Don't forget to review and let me know if I should continue with this or not. I personally am not sure if I like it or not, so please let me know in a review! Also there is a poll on my profile concerning this story. Please vote.

Thanks for reading!

-Michelle Loves Chocolate 99