New chapter, yay I hope you guys like this one. Thank you Manami Nightray for beta-ing this chapter too. I added and changed somethings when you sent it back to me lol this chapter, yesh, haha. Enjoy your beautiful readers.

What have I done?

"Come on guys, put your clothes back on and come on out." Riku shouts down the hall, startling me once again.

I cover my lips, blushing hard, while my eyes widen. Axel gazed at the door for a few seconds before turning his sharp orbs back to me. I'm frozen to the floor, too terrified to move or say anything. Axel kissed me and I kissed him back. He kissed me….he freaken kissed me! I'd be filled with joy if I hadn't talked to Xion earlier. Just what the hell have I done?

Axel seems to be in his own state of dawning. He flicks his thumb over his wet lips and examines his thumb. His face suddenly turns red as his own eyes bug out. "Oh shit." He whispers, scrambling to get up. Once on his feet, Axel gazes away from me, his face still a bright shade of red. "I uh."

"Just go." I force out, squeezing my eyes, and curl up in a ball. My heart won't stop pounding and I can't figure out why. I'm not sure if it's guilt or shock from what he did. I feel renewed tears sweep over my face and begin to wonder why he did it. Was it because I was crying or did he do it because he does like me like Xion said? Or could it be because he is trying to use me as quick rebound to get over her?

You can guess what feel now. That sharp knife has come back full force and it's deeply embedded in my chest, twisting and thrusting itself until it feels like I can't breathe.

"Roxas, I'm not going anywhere." Axel sighs and heads for the door, pausing as his hand grasps the handle. "Okay I am but I'll be right back. Don't worry I won't tell anyone. I'll come up with something so nobody comes in here." He says, looking at me one last time with shame in his beautiful emerald eyes before he leaves the room.

I take that chance to detangle myself and wandering into the conjoined bathroom. I go to the sink and proceed to wash my face, praying that my face would stop burning. I stare in the mirror and I'm not surprised by how red my cheeks, nose, and eyes are. Or how puffy they are either. How could such a fun day quickly turn into my personal hell in a matter of hours. Who knows, maybe I'm cursed to be damned no matter what I do.

Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I walk back to the bedroom and head for the door. I'm not about to let my own feeling ruin everyone's day. I reach for the doorknob and jump back when it opens and reveals Axel. He looks startled as he sees my face. I stare up at him owlishly. Without words, I back up and sit on the bed while he shuts the door and leans on it with his arms crossed and eyes on me.

"What did you tell them?" I ask, casting my gaze to his feet.

"I told them that I needed to talk to you about something. It's true but I didn't say what."

"Then you might not want to do it here. Some people like to sit by the DOOR AND LISTEN!" I shout. The sound of giggles and footsteps could be heard running away from the door.

Axel chuckles and joins me on the bed. He slouches and plants his head in his hands, sighing in exhaustion.

"I talked to Xion today." I say, getting his attention. "She's supposed to talk to you and make up with you. I told her she was stupid for doing what she did and her reason was even dumber than that." I weakly laugh, and stare up at the ceiling. I tremble and feel more than nervous. It's so hard to get this out but I'll say anything to break the tension.

"You didn't have to you know." He replies. I can feel his eyes on me, watching and waiting for me to say something again.

Swallowing, I ignore his words and continue. "She said she broke up with you because of me. She's really stupid." I laugh again.

Oh joy, tears are running down my face….AGAIN! I wish I wasn't an emotional wreck, this is really starting to old and I bet I'm not the only one tired of it all.

Axel stays quiet so I take it he wants me to elaborate what I mean. With baited breath I continue my pathetic ramble. "She said-She said she wanted to give me a chance with you. Stupid right? She got this crazy idea that you actually have feelings for me and you either haven't realized it yet or don't want to accept them. Haha…I kept telling her it wasn't true. I told her you love her and it finally convinced her that-"

Axel's hand caresses my cheek, turns my face and cuts my words off with his warm lips enclosing over my own. As shocked as I am, I break the kiss and try to ask, "What?" only to get cut off with another kiss. I break away once more, "Axel, what are you?" He kisses me again. "Stop." And again, "Why are you-" and again.

This kiss has more feeling behind it. So soft and tender, I can't help myself this time. I kiss him back and allow him to slowly lay me on back. Yes, I am confused as to what is going on, but his lips are to tantalizing to ignore. As we continue to kiss, I curl my fingers around his shirt tightly. One of his hands runs along my arm while the other caresses my hip. His thumb dips under the hem of my shirt and rubs sensual circles above my pelvic bone, leaving heat on my flesh.

Our lips move with each other, practically in sync with one another. I lightly moan at the sensation of his hand sliding up my shirt and rubbed up and down my side, fingers dancing on my ribs. He nips at my lower lip and pokes his tongue inside when I gasp from the tingling heat running through out my body. The feeling of his tongue toying with my own sent shivers down my spine.

Our tongue dance in a battle for dominance. He won but let the fight last longer than it should have. Not that I mind it at all. I let him do what he wanted with my mouth. I moaned again, thrusting my hips against his. He chuckles and breaks our kiss, letting me pant for sweet oxygen while his lips trail down my chin and to my neck.

"She's not wrong." He whispers in between teasing kisses to my sensitive skin. "I guess it only took that night for me to realize my feelings."

I gasp and bite my lip to hold back the sound that wants to escape me. His teeth nip at the base of my neck and clavicle, leaving me to wither and hold back what could have been a very loud moan. He licks the spot and I suck in a sharp breath, turning my face away from him. The words he said make my heart soar yet at the same time I can't help but be stupid myself. He could be telling the truth although he could be saying it because he needs this and I'm nothing but a rebound for him. He could have so many other girls for this but he chose me.

"Axel, ha ahh s-s-stop." I pant out and shove him away from my neck.

We stare at each other, both panting from the lack of air. Even if I were a rebound, we can't do this here. Not with all our friends wondering where we are. Not in Namine's house, on her parent's bed. And definitely not with Xion thinking about getting back with him.

"Stop lying to me. I get it, I'm just your rebound and the only reason you think you have feelings for me is because you're not over Xion. Please Axel, go talk to her." I beg, trying to wiggle free from my spot under him.

Axel leans down and captures my lips again, a little desperately as I moan from the sensation. "You're just as stupid as she is. Roxas, you're not a rebound. But if you really want me too, I'll talk to her." He says and pecks my lips one last time.

I feel like I'm turning into putty the more he does that. If I didn't have a conscious there is no doubt in my mind that I'd just give into him. Damn you brain.

"You can't tell me you feel something for me after everything that's happen." I ask, grateful that he got off of me so I could sit up.

He rubs the bridge of his nose and runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know it doesn't look good from that stand point but I do like you. Look, you kissed that first time and I didn't know what to think. It felt right but I know it was wrong and shoved that away. I love Xion, I really do but you-you somehow kept worming your way in. We spent so much time together it began to scare the shit out of me. It goes against what my parents taught me and it's just not right. I've probably hurt you more times than I can count and I'm sorry for that."

"So you just expect me to accept this?" I ask, ignoring his uneasiness. "I can't and I won't believe you. Yeah, I would really like to be with you but not like this."

"So what? I get back with Xion and all three of us are unhappy?" He demands, stands up and clench his fist. "That's bull shit Roxas!"

KNOCK KNOCK

"Axel, Roxas, are you guys okay?" Xion asks from the other side of the door before she opens it. "Guys?"

"You're such an idiot!" I yell back despite knowing everyone would hear me. "Stop screwing with me. I've had enough of it."

"Me screw with you? You're the one fucking with my head! Stop being such a drama queen and grow up. Why are you being so stubborn? I told you how I felt and you just throw it out the damn window. What the hell do you want from me?!"

"I want you! But I don't want it to be out of pity or because you need somebody else. Why can't you just get back with Xion and stop fucking with my heart? I know you love her, you just told me again that you do and yet you do this to me. What I want is for you, Xion and myself to stop hurting…what I want is…I…Axel I…I love you." I say get up, and rush past both of my shocked friends.

Everyone was in the hall and heard what I just said. I don't know how much they heard but by the mix of pity, worry, and surprise I can guess they heard enough. Sora and Larxene follow after me. I hear others but those are the only two I really notice as I grab my bag and go outside. The door opens behind me and I see, my cousin, Larxene, Hayner, Pence, and Olette. All of them looking concern, but none more than Larxene because she is the only one out of us all that knows what it's like to love Axel and not have the feelings returned.

"I'm sorry for ruining the sleep over. And I'm sorry for causing a scene." I say and spy Namine and her parents looking from the window. Her mother is on the phone; obviously talking to my own about what she heard. That's just fantastic, I get to go home to them questioning me why Namine's mom outted me and why I didn't just tell them myself.

"Don't worry about it man. This was the excitement we needed." Hayner tried to joke. I smile at him for it.

"Roxas, let's all go to your place instead. It wouldn't be the same without you." Olette said, her eyes shining like a mother duck.

"I think the sleep over is canceled here anyway." Pence commented, as everyone else came outside with their stuff.

"Or we can do it at my place. Come on Roxas, I know you don't want to go home. So what do you say?" Sora suggests to which Larxene cackles.

"Come on blonde don't be a party pooper." She says, walks up to me and whispers, "Hang in there kid. You were there for and I'll be damned if I'm not there for you."

"Yeah." I say, smiling up at her. "Thank you." I whisper back, grateful for having her as a friend. Larxene smacks my back and goes back inside to do who knows what. Xion leaves the house right after and pushes passed everyone, marching toward me.

I shut my eyes and waited for a sharp slap across the face but instead I get pulled into a tight embrace. "Huh?" I question and get shushed by her. Xion pets the back of my head and mumbles how she is sorry.

"I'm sorry Roxas. Maybe it's better this way. I'm not mad and I'm not upset by what I heard. I'm worried about you just like I know you're worried about me. I mean I'm hurt but heh…let's just let things be for now. Bros before hoes even if that hoe is a bro themselves." Xion timidly giggles, pulling away from the hug.

"I'm sorry Xion."

She shakes her head and takes my hand. "Enough apologizes."

"Okay." I say still feeling like a piece of shit.

I look around and notice that everyone has their stuff and is heading toward different cars. Namine is still in her house, peeking out from the window, her parents now gone from sight. "What about Namine?" I ask, "It wouldn't be right to have a sleep over without her either."

"I doubt her parents will let her now." Xion says with a frown.

We both stare at her and motion for her to come outside. She shakes her head, smiles and gestures for us to go before she disappears behind the white curtain. I feel bad but it can't be helped now. A heavy sigh and a few steps later found me by Riku's back door. HIS CAR I MEAN….um…

As I open the door Axel storms out of the house and rushes to his car. His eyes are acidic as they flick over to where I stand. I gaze away; hear his car door slam and race down the street. I've probably not only ruined more than one possible relationship, but a friendship too.

About four months go by and let me tell you, school has been a bitch with all the pop quizzes, and preparation for finals in a few weeks. Not to mention all the holiday crap. While Sora and practically all my friends did the Christmas thing, my family did Hanukkah. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it its just; I'd really like to skip over December in general. Call me a Grinch but I really hate the holidays. Mostly because I'm always forced to clean extra hard and what not. I swear that when I live on my own, December will just be another month.

Okay, okay, the truth is, I was kind of hoping that I would get to spend them with Axel. He hasn't spoken to me or anyone since that day. My relationship with Xion was even strained a bit but by now it's back to where it used to be. She seems better and is even going on a date with Riku tonight. I guess they have gotten pretty close.

As for Namine, she's alright. We talked things over and after apologizing that I couldn't return her feelings she seems to be focusing all her time in her art. Which by the way looks amazing. She even won an award for one of her sketches. Oh, and it was a sketch of Seifer. I think she has a thing for my tormentor. Surprisingly, he hasn't been taking his "study frustration" out on me this semester. I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that he has another means.

Gross.

It's a nightmare and I can't wait for Spring Break to come and take me away from this hell whole known as school. Not to mention it will get me to away from the place I first saw Axel. The place I keep seen him. He's always around other people and he's always looking like he is having a great time. I heard he was dating again but I don't know the girl's name or if it's true.

Does it hurt knowing he probably has someone new? What the hell do you think? Of course it does. I've tried to get over him I really have but I can't. It's just so hard to get over someone you've had a crush on for the longest time and then get to spend time with that crush. To get to know them on a whole other level. To fall in freaken love them even. I feel like a fool for letting that chance with him get away from me. Though I suppose it proves something to me. He really didn't have any feelings for me….

Anyway, class is done and school is finally over. I grab my stuff and wander the halls. I make my way to the front of the school and freeze when I see Axel talking to a group of freshman. He laughs at something they say, shakes his head and annoyingly enough he catches me watching. I quickly look away and continue walking away from the school, wishing I had a ride home. Damn my friends having date night be on Friday. All of them suck but I am happy for them. Still, damn them.

Finally making it to the sidewalk, I make my way across the street, keeping my eyes on the ground. I really wish I could teleport home or anywhere for that matter. That'd be pretty cool to go anywhere within seconds, without having to be filthy rich. Why can't science hurry up with my teleporter so I can run off whenever I choose to. Maybe I should learn how to do magic for that. They seem to be closer at it anyhow.

I'm about a block or so away from school, my mind filled with random ideas about being a wizard or a smart ass scientist. Yes it's childish but it's better than walking home bored to death. Just as I get to the good part on said day dream, the sound of an engine purring behind me snaps me out of my trance. I walk a little faster thinking the guy needs to get into their drive way. The sound of the slow, steady speed of the vehicle following me has me walking even faster the further I go.

'Holy shit, I'm going to get kidnapped!' I think, my pulse racing. I gulp and turn into a random neighbor just to make sure I'm not going crazy. The sound of gravel and the engine confirm my suspicion. I'm being followed.

The worst thing I can do is show the guy that I'm scared. I am, but I can't let them know that. So I turn again and sure enough so does he. Feeling slightly annoyed, I turn around with baited breath, planning on facing the asshole head on.

As I stand there with a scowl on my face the car pulls up to the curve just a foot away from me. The rays of the sun block my view of the driver but he does me a kindness by opening his car door. Suddenly, I feel my fight or flight kick in. If I really think about it, this probably wasn't the best idea. What if the dude was huge and had a gun? What if they didn't?

"Wait a second, that's Axel's car." I say feeling foolish, angry and relived.

Axel steps out of the car and rubs the back of his head as I glare at him. "Sorry, didn't mean to spook you. I tried calling out your name but I guess you were either ignoring me or lost in your own little world." He chuckles as I blush, giving myself away. I bite my lower lip, spin on my heel, and proceed to walk away.

"Oh come on Roxas don't leave. I wanted to talk to you." He says, his voice getting closer.

I stop and turn back around, extremely ticked off. Okay that's not true, I like an annoyed cat and scared puppy put in one. Still, if he wanted to talk to me then "Why not just talk to me at school?"

Ah crap baskets, I think I said that aloud.

"I don't know. This wasn't planned or anything. I saw you and decided it was now or never." He sheepishly says, looking like he was a little bit nervous. "Can we please get in the car? I'll take you if you'd like."

Not wanting to cause a scene in a random neighborhood filled with garden gnomes, I comply and get into Axel's car. He thanks me and pulls out of his parking spot. I cross my arms and bring my legs up to my chest, watching the scenery go by. "Why now? Why not months ago or even a week ago? Why should I bother listening to what you have to say when you've ignored, not just me, but all of our friends."

"I was angry and I didn't want to be around everyone because they heard us."

"And if you wanted to talk to me then why not over winter break? You know where I live and you have my number. I don't understand it….if I didn't feel like you hated me then I would have tried to talk to you. But that's just it, I feel like you hate me and it scares me." I say, my voice going quiet.

"I don't hate you, it's the opposite of that." He sounds like he isn't joking around, instead Axel sounds like he's serious. I gaze at him and note that even his face is serious. At my quizzical expression, Axel elaborates for me. "I didn't lie when I told you I liked you. I did some more thinking since then and you were right about one thing. I was using you as a rebound."

Ouch.

My heart starts ripping itself apart. I knew I was a rebound and yet hearing him admit it hurts even more than it did then. It's a wonder if haven't died yet from all this pain. He must be lying to me about his feelings too. I say nothing and look out the window again, trying to will away my tears.

"I feel like shit for taking advantage of you like that. Not even a week after getting dumped and I go after you. I was a dick. You had every right to get upset with me. I see that now. You probably don't want anything more to do with me but, like I said earlier Roxas, I like you. That's all I wanted to tell you."

Axel pulls up to my house quicker than I would have liked. I don't know how to fully process this. "Why are you telling me this?" I ask, keeping my gaze on my hands.

Axel shuts off the car and gently cups my cheek. His hand is warm and his touch is full of…I don't even know, carrying? Our gazes meet and I can't feel my face flush from how hot it was getting. Something tells me to get out of the car and just go inside to get away from him. Another part is telling me to stay while my heart pounds loudly against its boney imprisonment. Why oh why does he have to make me feel this way? Why do I have to get butterflies whenever I'm near him? Why does it feel like I can't breathe when he touches me, even if it's just the slightest brush of fingers? Axel is more than just a simple crush. I'm captivated by his entire being. So why can't I bring myself to kiss him like I know I desperately want to.

"it's because I care about you. You were my first real friend after all. You didn't judge me and you'd call me out on my bull shit. Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you. Just the same, anyone is who lets you slip past them is an idiot. Please don't let me be that idiot." Axel weakly chuckles, smiling at me pathetically. His eyes pleading for me to believe everything he has told me.

I know what I want.

"You already are an idiot." He frowns in disappointment at my words. He looks so adorable like that that I can't help but lightly laugh.

"You don't have to mock me Roxas." He pulls his hand away from my face, slightly pouting like a child.

I giggle some more, shaking my head. "I'm not hahaha. Axel I'm not making fun of you. Listen, now I have something to say." Axel, being the confused goof ball that he is, raises an eyebrow. "Axel I'm not going to lie, I'm confused, hurt, and a little giddy. Look, I thought I could get over you since you stopped talking to us, to me."

"Did you?" He asks warily.

"No…I don't think I'll ever be able to get over you. I don't understand what it is about you but ever since we became friends my feelings for you kept growing. The more I got to know you the more I felt like it wasn't just a simple crush anymore." I blush, heavily, my courage running away like an adult when they see a rat. I swallow thickly and pressed forward until my lips connected with his, taking him by surprise.

I pull back just as quick, my face hotter than a thousand suns. "I love you, Axel. And I kind of…really want to…I was hoping that I could be your-"

Axel puts my rambling to stop, locking his lips with mine. He holds my face in place, the kiss soft, not at all rough. "Roxas, I know what you're trying to say."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"How can you like someone like me? I-if we did…Axel I'm not exactly er well not psychically but how I feel is different. One minute I'll feel like- mmph." He cuts me off with another kiss, this only having more depth to it. I sigh, relaxing into the sweet kiss.

Why does he have to make me go weak at the knees. It's a good thing I'm already sitting down. Ah, nothing like your legs turning to jelly just from being near the one you desire the most.

"Roxas, stop. I know what you're worried about. Trust me, I've thought about that too. And you know something; I don't have a problem with it. I like the idea of having a girlfriend and a boyfriend all in one package." Axel chuckles and gives me a chaste kiss. "That is, if you're willing to give me a chance."

He has no idea how happy he has made me. The butterflies in my gut, the throbbing of my heart, and tingling sensation running through out my body has me on the verge of tears. In fact, my eyes are burning with the water works right now. Axel looks worried but I quickly fix that by latching my arms around his neck, ignoring the strain my seat belt is giving my neck. "God yes." I whisper as he embraces me and connects our lips again. He has made me one of the happiest gu-gi-…the happiest person alive.

We press our foreheads together, smiling like idiots. My tears release and I can't help but tremble and cry against his chest. I'm so happy I can't even tell that nothing is wrong. This is unbelievable but here we are, holding each other. Nothing can ruin this moment. Not even if I were dragged out of the car and sent to Hades himself. This moment, I want to remember forever.

"Roxas, there's just one problem and I don't want you to think I'm trying to back out or anything." Axel uneasily says.

"Please don't tell me now. God Axel I'm so happy right now. Please, whatever bad news you have, can it wait?" I sniffle, burying my face against his warm neck.

"Roxas…alright it can wait." He chuckles and kisses the top of my head while I smile, pushing the knowing thoughts away from my mind. I know what the problem is; I just don't want to think about it. For now, I just want it to be the two of us and nothing else. That's all I'm asking for right now…