A Near Tragedy and Some Truths

Lucy couldn't figure out how to tell Voldemort about the child, she was terrified of what he might say… He might not want the baby… He could force her to have an abortion; she hated to even think about it, even if she was indeed terrified of having a child, she was too young, too stupid to be a mother… But she couldn't get rid of her own baby.

And on the other hand Voldemort might want the child, and that scenario could prove to be even worse… What if the child was like him? Dark and corrupt. What if Voldemort wanted it to be like this? What if he made the baby become a monster… A killer… She hated to think about that too.

And so, she didn't say anything to him for the next week, she mulled over the subject over and over in her head, and tried to start the conversation, but she always wind up choking on her own words and saying nothing.

Voldemort picked up on her mood, of course, he constantly sent her worried looks and even more worried signs through the bond, he even asked one night, after they made love, as Lucy clung to him in a very desperate manner, with tears on her eyes.

"What ails you my beloved?" – He asked caressing her cheek lovingly, as he moved so his deep crimsom eyes could look upon hers.

Lucy shook her head minutely.

"It's nothing." – She whispered burying her head on his chest.

"I know you are lying Lucy. I can sense your distress. But I won't force you to tell me what is making you so miserable, not for now, anyway." – He said softly running a hand through her hair. – "But if this continues, you'll have to tell me, do you understand? I won't allow anyone to hurt my mate as you've been hurting." – He planted a kiss on the top of her head as he felt her shudder against him, and allowed both of them to drift off to sleep.

Saturday she woke up feeling like she had been hit by a truck, she was sick, as usual, and sore all over, she contemplated the idea of just staying in bed the entire day, to see if everything went away, but remembered with a groan that she had a quidditch game against ravenclaw…

Sighing, she stood up, took a quick a shower, put on her uniform and grabbed her firebolt, then she climbed down the stairs to give Voldemort a light kiss on the lips and lie to him saying that she'd have breakfast at Hogwarts, as she had done for the past week, when in truth, she'd tell Ron and Hermione that she had already ate at home. Breakfast was a meal hard to keep on her stomach these days.

When she finally appeared on Hogwarts' entrance hall she stood there quietly for a few moments with her eyes closed waiting for the dizziness to pass. Taking the portkey had become a lot more uncomfortable lately. Lucy suspected that pregnant women shouldn't use them, but as it was, she couldn't request another way of transportation without explaining why she needed one to Voldemort, and she wasn't ready for this yet.

As she felt her senses were back in control, she headed to the Great Hall, trying to ignore the slight pain on her stomach, she was feeling it since yesterday, and thought it was possibly due to her very poor eating habits of late, she was only eating at lunch and dinner, and lunch was really difficult to eat while sitting near Ronald and his awful table manners, so she could say she only ate correctly during dinner, when she was safe back home.

"Hey guys." - she greeted plopping herself down between Ron and Hermione.

"Hey Lucy… Jeez you look pale…" - Hermione commented frowning at her friend.

"Don't go getting sick at us today mate! We have to start well on the tournament, if we want the Cup again this year!" – Ron said merrily, giving her a pat on the back.

"I'm fine… I just don't like portkeys much." – She lied smoothly.

Lucy wasn't feeling fine, and didn't start to feel better as the morning progressed, she only wanted to get the game over with so she could return home and curl in bed all afternoon.

As she sat on her broom and took flight together with her team, dizziness overcame her again and she had to lean forward to keep herself steady. At the same time the light pain on her stomach grew sharper. She bit her lip, while going higher on the sky, she had to find that snitch soon…

She circled the sky, high above her team, so she could have a better view of the pitch, Cho Chang, the ravenclaw sicker, did the same, she only hoped one of them found the bloody snitch soon… She didn't really care about winning the game anymore, she just wanted to get off this damned broom…

It took her about half an hour but finally she spotted the golden ball hovering on the other side of the pitch, she sprinted after it, almost knocking herself against a Gryffindor chaser, but soon her fingers closed over the cool metal of the snitch, and with a sigh, barely noticing the applause from the crowd, she headed to the ground, as the rest of her team rushed to accompany her.

As she slid from the broom though, Lucy felt something hot and sticky sliding through her legs, she heard a gasp from her team as she looked down to see blood staining her pants.

"My Lady…" - She heard Rabastan exclaim, as he broke through the Gryffindor's team to get to her.

No… No… She thought over and over in her head as she watched numbly the red stain between her legs, how could she be so careless? She was losing her child because she was stupid… She felt herself swoon on her feet and felt as Rabastan caught her before she could fall.

Lucy felt a pang of panic and concern reach her through the bond, and her wedding band grow impossibly warm before she passed out. She only hoped Voldemort could forgive her.

She opened her eyes blearily, faintly aware that someone was speaking to her, soon her eyes adjusted enough so she could see she was safely back to the Serpent's Lair, with the kind face of Dr. Crabb hovering over her. Lucy offered him a tired smile, before remembering what happened and hastily trying to sit up. The Medwizard stopped her with a firm hand on her shoulder.

"The baby… Did I lose it? Is it gone?" – She asked feeling tears gathering on her eyes. Dr. Crabb sighed.

"So… You did know about the child…" - He commented softly before sitting down on a chair besides her bed. – "You were very careless my Lady. You could have lost your child today… You see… Traveling by portkey isn't advisable for pregnant women, especially not so often as you do… And from my examinations you haven't eaten enough lately." – He said with a very grim face, but finally broke down on a smile. – "But you were lucky, I was able to come here fast enough and managed to stop the contractions, and you, and your baby are fine."

Lucy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and a few relief tears escaped her eyes.

"So… The baby is fine? It'll be okay?" – She asked placing a hand over her stomach, Dr. Crabb became serious again.

"Yes… But, you must understand that you've put yourself and the child under great distress, therefore, you'll need to be in complete bed rest for quite some time. I don't believe you should go back to Hogwarts until the end of Christmas break…" - Lucy opened her mouth to protest but he shushed her with a stern look. – "You've barely past the first month of pregnancy, it's quite a delicate moment, especially after what happened, in order to be sure that you won't have any more contractions, you must avoid any kind of strenuous movements, even walking, or sitting for too long might be dangerous during the next months. You'll also take a potion a day to help with the hormones productions and help your body to secure the baby. I'll be checking on you once a week and whenever you feel you might need me. Your diet must be quite especial as well, I've already given instructions to the house elves, I believe they'll take a good care of you, do you have any questions?"

Lucy decided not to argue, she had already endangered her child's life because of her fear of telling Voldemort, she wasn't about to do that again, and besides it might be actually good to enjoy a prolonged vacation, it was only two weeks until the start of Christmas break anyway…

"Dr. Crabb… I don't know much about pregnancies and babies and that stuff, so… Could you please send me some books on the subject or something? I want to know better what to expect, I don't want to muck it up again." – She said in a rather small voice and the medwizard smiled.

"Of course! It's a splendid idea, I'll send you books on pregnancy and baby's care, it'll certainly be useful for a first time mother." – He said before standing up. – "But now I must go my Lady, our Lord has been waiting rather impatiently to see you, he was quite worried." – He said before walking out of the door.

Lucy felt a knot on her throat, yes, she could feel Voldemort concern and hurt through the bond, she didn't exactly understand why he was hurt, but soon she'd find out, because as soon as Dr. Crabb left the room, the Dark Lord strode in, his face unreadable as he looked directly into his wife's eyes.

"Lucy… Tell me, my dear, has it been truly so atrocious to live with me so far?" – Voldemort asked in a cool voice, never tearing his eyes from hers, Lucy frowned and opened her mouth to speak but he continued. – "Do you still hate me to this point? To the point where you would foolishly try to get rid of this child simply to spite me?" – His eyes burned into hers and she flinched under his gaze as she shook her head.

"No… That's not what happened!" – She said, trying not to cry.

"And what happened? Please explain, because the only thing I know is that my mate has been grieving all week, refusing to tell me why, and then I find out that she was pregnant and carelessly decided to put herself and the child at risk, without telling me. Tell me, Lucy what really happened?" – He asked, his voice filled with an emotion that Lucy couldn't really identify, but it made her heart ache.

"I was scared. I… I found out about the baby on Halloweens night, Tipsy told me about it and… I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure you'd want the child, I was scared that if I told you, you'd tell me that I couldn't keep it and the possibility hurt too much…" - She was crying freely now, and Voldemort seemed to soften at her words, because he sighed and stepped closer to her, leaning in to caress her cheek and dry her tears along the way.

"Have I given you any reason to fear me ever since the treaty Lucy? Do you think you actually had reason to be that scared?" – He whispered.

"You can't blame me for not trusting you completely Voldemort." – She said bitterly. – "You wanted me dead mere months ago… I know you never did anything to hurt me since the treaty but you've also never said anything about having a child, and beyond that I'm not really prepared for this situation. I know it was bound to happen at some point considering we're married and I never thought about using contraceptives, but I've never really considered this a possibility." – Lucy sighed and closed her eyes briefly leaning into his touch upon her cheek. – "I'm scared, I'm too young to be a mother, and I have my reservations about you as father, but don't think for one instant that I would consciously hurt this baby."

Voldemort grabbed her chin gently, making her look up into his eyes, they burned with an intensity that made her shudder.

"You have nothing to fear of me, do you understand my beloved? You, and whatever offspring you give me, may never be afraid of me. Never. You are the only person in this world who can say with absolute sure that you have no reason to be scared. I'll always protect you. Always."

Lucy could feel the truth through their bond, the intensity in which he meant it, and the devotion he felt as he said that to her, and it all made her feel dizzy.

"Why?" – She asked drowsily. And with that simple word she wanted to know so much, why did he asked for her during the treaty? Why he was so nice to her now? Why he wanted to protect her? Why he looked at her in that way…

Voldemort seemed to understand the depth of her question because he sighed and sat down on the chair near the bed.

"Because I've marked you as my equal Lucy, because I chose you to complete me, and because I don't want to be incomplete anymore. You see, I am a great wizard Lucy, the greatest of this era, and yet I was flawed, because I overlooked an ancient power, and I paid dearly because of that flaw. I don't want to be flawed Lucy, I want to embrace that power, but it's something I can't teach myself, but you my beloved can, you have this power and you can teach me." – He said softly, never leaving her eyes from hers.

But Lucy could only frown at him, it was the prophesy all over again, this talk about she possessing a power that could conquer him, a power that she didn't have, nor understood…

"I don't understand. I don't have any power Voldemort. Let alone something that I could actually teach you." – She said with some dread, would he decided it was more worth to kill her after he realized she truly had nothing to offer him?

"Oh but you do… Don't you see? This power runs into your very veins my darling…" - He said caressing her cheek again. – "Love, Lucy, your mother sacrificed herself out of love for you, and that was my downfall, because I overlooked its importance, and now, you sacrificed yourself out of love for your friends, and the world in general, you know how to love Lucy, and that's why I chose you, I believed that you only would be able to teach me this power. Tell me, was I wrong?" – He asked with a desperation in his voice that startled her.

But as Lucy looked into his eyes and felt the yearning coming from the bond, and the tenderness behind his intentions, and the warm feeling that rose inside her as a response, she smiled and raised her own hand to rest it upon his face, taking her time to caress his thin lips and the soft cheek.

"No. You were not wrong. I think we can learn together…" - She said softly, and leaned in to kiss him, he met her halfway there, and pressed her back against the mattress as he deepened the kiss.

The kisses continued for a few minutes until Voldemort drew away, leaving a pouting Lucy, he smirked.

"I'd be glad to continue this, but you're forbidden to engage on any strenuous activities." - He said chuckling as she blushed furiously. – "And, it's well after dinner time, I'll order the elves to bring you something light. Would you like me to have dinner here with you?" – He asked passing a hand through her hair.

"I'd like that… I don't want to be alone right now." – She answered with a grateful smile, she was feeling a little hungry, now that she thought about it… And she was also relieved for the change of the subject, she wasn't really sure what she had just admitted to feel about her husband, but whatever it was she meant it, they'd have time to talk about it all afterwards...

But, for now, she was happy to just eat dinner in bed accompanied by her mate, and sleep in his arms, without thinking about the complicated things she was feeling and what those feelings might bring in the future.