Disclaimer - I do not own Arrow.

The stark white walls surrounding them seemed to be pressing in on her, suffocating and overwhelming her at the same time, to the point where she felt like she was drowning.

Because honestly, what more could go wrong in their lives?

They were in the waiting room of Starling General Hospital, both at a loss for words at their current situation. The doctor's words causing a tidal wave of emotions that were consuming them, while at the same time pushing them both to the brink of insanity.

She could feel Oliver standing across the room, still as a statue as he forced his body to shut down in an attempt to get himself under control. To get control over the rage and anger that she could feel ready to burst out of him.

But for once in her life she couldn't concentrate on him, the man that had garnished her attention since that very first fateful day when he brought her a bullet-ridden laptop. No. Her mind was altogether and utterly exhausted with thoughts of another man.

John Diggle. A man that was currently in an induced coma, fighting for his life.

She almost laughed at the irony that that wasn't the reason why she was stumped for words for the first time in her life. No, her life for the past three years had taught her how to handle the pain of watching those that she loved fight for their lives, had taught her to unflinchingly treat their bullet and stab wounds in the foundry. But most disturbingly and importantly it had taught her how to classify them returning from a mission alive as a win.

No, the doctor had said that he would pull through physically, that the bullets in John's body hadn't actually hit anything major. The hit to the head only requiring a few stitches.

Physically wasn't the problem.

The problem was that John Diggle wasn't able to remember the last four years of his life.

He didn't remember Team Arrow, didn't remember the Mission, he didn't even remember getting back together with Lyla. But most importantly he didn't remember the fact that he was about to become a father.

No, Diggle was currently under the impression that he was in Afghanistan on his third tour, being treated after a particular hostile mission that had gone wrong.

To a team that had come very close to doing the impossible, this was one problem that they couldn't fix. Not with all the money or hacking in the world.

By the time she gets her bearings again after hearing the news her limbs are already stiff from sitting in one position for so long. The extra movement acting as a catalyst for her mind to rewire itself and awaken from its stupor.

How was she going to explain this to Lyla? How was she meant to tell a pregnant woman that her ex-husband, who also happens to be her very soon-to-be future husband, that he doesn't remember anything after they divorced? That he doesn't remember that in their lives of chaos, his own small miracle is due to be born into this world in just two months?

She lifts her face from her hands, only now realizing that silent tears had been cascading down her face the entire time by the wetness that she can feel on her hands and face.

Glancing towards Oliver she takes in his posture, noticing that he hasn't moved a muscle since hearing the news. All the usual Oliver Queen expressions are running across his face, anger, hurt, confusion, but most predominately guilt. That was nothing new. She had been around this man for so long, had been in love with him for longer than she would care to admit even to herself, that she could feel his emotions before she even looked at him.

But now his features were clouded by a shadow of determination, a resolve that she had a hard time placing the motive to. He was thinking about something and she got the feeling that she wasn't going to like the results of the conversation they were about to have.

Felicity Smoak was yet again about to be proven right.

"Oliver."

Her strangled voice, although weak even to her own ears, did the job. His head swiveled to her direction as his eyes zeroed in on her face; as if he only now realized that she was in the room with him.

"Oliver, what are you thinking about?"

His eyes gave him away every time.

While others would believe his calm façade and charming words, Felicity knew better. His eyes would always speak the truth, and in that moment all she saw was an inner battle. To open up to her or not.

She knew he trusted her, with both his life and his secrets, so she knew that the hesitancy stemmed from something different. As if he was sacred that she wouldn't like what he had to say, as if he was scared that opening up to her would make her leave.

This man had another thing coming if he thought that anything that could come out of his mouth would push her away or would cause her to leave their Team, to leave him.

"Oliver…" but she was cut off as he finally started speaking, and once he started she almost wished she hadn't asked.

"Maybe this is his chance Felicity. Maybe this is life's way of giving him an opportunity to start again, away from the blood and anguish that is our lives. He'll have Lyla, they'll raise their kid and he will be out of harms way, out of my life and all the pain that comes with it. Maybe this is life giving him an out…" His voice trailed off as he lost steam towards the end of his speech.

When he finally gained the courage to look up at her he felt like he had been backhanded across the face. The mixture of shock, disbelief and anger that radiated from her features he had seen before, they had had their fair share of fights.

It was the look of resentment on her face that sent a chill down to his very bones.

"Would you do that to me if I lost my memory tomorrow?" Her voice was soft, hesitant as if even she didn't want to hear the answer to her own question.

And for the life of him he didn't know how to respond. She would be safer, she would be out of harms way and there would be no target painted on her back as the Arrow's IT genius and the love of Oliver Queen's life.

And she wouldn't remember him, wouldn't cry when he was hurt, wouldn't know that he had walked away to protect her.

She would be safer.

His silence spoke volumes to her as the anger flared up inside, burning her from the inside out.

"Answer the Goddamn question Oliver! Would you do the same to me? Would you let me go? Let me forget everything that we do here? The countless lives we save? Would you let me go on living my life in an idiotic ignorant bliss?"

Her voice broke on the last sentence but she wouldn't let herself stop now. Not when she had one final question. The most important question.

"Would you let us go?"

Saying yes wasn't an option, so he lies. Lies even though he knows that she'll see right through it, like she has every single time in the past.

"No."

And she knows he lied. And no matter the reasons that he has, whether it was to keep her safe and protect her, or whether it was to protect himself, she cant find it in herself to care.

That one lie shattered her entire world in the space of a second.

Because he would let her go, would let everything that they had built together crumble into the oblivion that was her broken heart.

Because the one man that would fight for his city, would fight for the life of strangers without any sort of hesitancy, this one man wouldn't fight for her.

Wouldn't fight for them.

And she didn't think that she could ever go back from knowing that.

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I feel the need to share that my mission for this ficlet series is to reach 100 chapters :)

Love to all - stay safe please - Stace XO