ok, real quick. In this story, Jerry was still attacked but survived and is ok. Tom is also still a good guy. Olivia still ran off with Jake. Sometimes I just have so many thoughts and they just come out lol. I hope everyone makes since. Hope you Enjoy. Please review.

Olivia stood outside on the beach of her backyard drinking her coffee most mornings. This morning it was breezy and the palm trees swayed. Her favorite. The last 3 months in St. Lucia had been filled with so many emotional days that the scenery had become her only solace. She didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't do much of anything but mourn. She mourned her old life back in D.C. She mourned the woman she used to be. Classy, powerful, strong. Now she was the exact opposite. She mourned not being able to run her law firm. Being able to help people was her greatest passion but it seemed the last few years instead of helping them, all she did was cause problems. She mourned the ignorance of knowing what really went down with her parents. Her parents coming back into her life rocked her world. And mostly, she mourned her everything, Fitz. She couldn't function. She could barely breath everyday without him. She walked around like a zombie in thoughts of him. She'd caused so many problems for Fitz. She always seemed to be the root of every issue he had. She loved him enough to stay away from him. She often wonders what kind of man he would he be if they had never met, what her life would be like if she had never met him. Although she couldnt imagine never knowing him. He's her greatest love. Day in and day out she'd replay her relationship with him over and over. Bad times and bad feelings outweighed the good but the good and the love they shared made it all worth it to her. Although she loved Fitz, she didn't like how the relationship had transformed her. She's become something she hates. Her self worth had plummeted. She even hated her body. She felt that she was unworthy and deserved the shitty life she had now. That's the reason she left with Jake Ballard.
Jake suddenly appeared. She turned to look at him.
"I'm headed to the market. Do you need anything while I'm out?" Jake asked with a faint smile.
"No Jake." Olivia turned around "I'm fine."
Jake could tell she was in deep thought. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her to kiss her cheek.
"I'll get you something anyway. It'll be a surprise." Jake said sweetly.
Olivia squeezed his arm and gave a fake smile.
"See you soon" Jake said and then left.
Jake hated his life as well. It started out as them "standing in the sun" but early on it was it clear that it was everything but that. Olivia figured out that she was being babysat for her father. Olivia had a borderline hate relationship with Jake. No matter how much she would try to fake it she couldn't because he represented an abuser and it kills her that she can't be with the man she loves(Fitz). Jake on the other hand seems to think he really loves Liv but can't help but have some animosity towards her because he's forced to listen to B613 because of her and he can't be with her the way he wants to be. Olivia's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Jake was out so she went to answer the door. Without looking she opened it. It felt like her heart stopped. The coffee slowly spilled before the mug hit the floor shattering it. She could feel herself start to hyperventilate.
"No" Olivia said.
"Ms. Pope." Tom nodded, taking a step forward.
Olivia couldn't believe who was standing before her. Tom and Hal had just stepped through her door. There was only one reason why they were there.
"No" Olivia barely said. She felt the tears coming "I can't. I can't do this again."
Olivia started backing up, still shaking. She was barely holding on mentally, physically and emotionally and she knew seeing Fitz again would be her complete undoing.
"Leave" she tried demanding but wasn't very convincing.
The men stood there looking at her. Neither one of them wanting to do what they were about to have to do. After all these years Tom and Hal had never physically had to remove her to bring her to Fitz. She'd refuse and sigh, have hissy fits but in the end, she'd always go with them. She also never thought that Fitz would ever let them even though he always threatened it. Liv just couldn't do it. She couldn't see Fitz. She had hoped that at least Tom would have some loyalty to her and not do this. Tom actually was having a hard time. He looked at Hal then looked to the ground. Olivia's eyes went to Tom.
"Tom" Olivia said with pleading eyes. Crying now.
"Mr. President has required your presence in D.C. Ma'am" Hal spoke in a monotone before putting his phone in his pocket and walking towards her "Tom, grab her a few things."
"Don't come near me" Olivia said backing up, desperately looking around for a phone or something "No. Don't touch me."
Olivia had no where to go. Her back was against the wall. Hal reached for her. She slapped at him and tried to kick at him but it did nothing. Hal swooped her up with one arm.
"No. Let me go" Olivia screamed.
She panicked and screamed even louder. She couldn't believe it when Hal covered her mouth with his other hand, her screams now muffled. She continued to try and hit and scratch. Hal carried her out to the SUV, placing her inside. Olivia stopped fighting. She knew there was nothing she could do. She's going back to DC. She cried into her hands. Tom came out and away they went. They drove to an airstrip.
"Put these on " Tom said handing her a pair of shoes.
Olivia obliged. He came around and opened her a door carrying a small bag of hers. They all boarded the plane. Olivia took the first seat and tried her best to prepare herself for the 12 hour flight to D.C. and to see Fitzgerald.

Back in Washington, Fitz had just received word from Tom that the plane had just touched down and that they'd be heading to Camp David. Fitz wasn't far from there himself. He wanted to exhale but didn't feel like he could until he actually laid eyes on Olivia. The last 3 months had been torture for him. Everything suffered. His work suffered. His family suffered. Life stopped. Not knowing where Olivia was was killing him. She was his life and he didn't know how to do anything without her. He missed her immensely and had no idea why she left. Part of him was angry that she could leave him, especially at a time like that. He couldn't believe it. She simply vanished. The last time he saw her was at the hospital when Jerry was infected. She seemed crushed and overwhelmed but he didn't think she would leave. He wondered if there was more to it than that. It had to be. Maybe it was because he told her he couldn't leave Mel after finding out she was raped. After doing some digging he figured out that Jake Ballard too, was missing and assumed that they had to be together. Nobody at O.P.A. was of any help. It took awhile but he was finally able to track her down. He had some things to finish up, otherwise he would have went and gotten her himself. He wanted no interruptions for when she arrived so he sent Tom and Hal. He was nervous about seeing her again and how she would be. He didn't know if she was mad at him. If she was, he didn't care. He was going to do whatever it took to fix it. He wanted her back.
Fitz was sipping a 2nd drink when he got the call.
"Hello" Fitz said into the phone.
"We just parked Sir. We're coming in" Tom informed him.
"Thank you Tom" Fitz hung up.
Fitz became very nervous. He hadn't seen her in months. He just wanted to see her, to hold her. He couldn't breath unless he knew where she was. He heard footsteps and started walking towards them. He stopped dead in his tracks. He saw Tom, followed by Hal walking Olivia in by the arm. Fitz felt like he could breath again. But there was something different. Olivia just stood there staring at him in a tank top and Baggie sweat pants that exposed her pelvic bones that were protruding way too much for his liking. No emotion, no expression. Her eyes were red with dark circles and he could tell she had been crying. She had always been thin but she seems to have lost weight. Despite being in St. Lucia, she was rather pale. Fitz walked closer, Olivia still staring. She was still so Beautiful. Fitz had to look away for a second.
"Tom, Hal, thanks guys." Fitz said shaking each of their hands.
"Anytime Sir" Hal said.
"I'll walk you out" Fitz said to them.
He quickly looked at Olivia whose eyes never left him, then walked out.
"How is she? What happened?" Fitz asked walking to the car with them with his hands in his pockets.
"She didn't talk much." Hal said standing by the car "And refused meals"
Fitz nodded.
"Thanks again guys" Fitz thanked them once more.
Fitz looked down at his feet before walking back up to the house. He was nervous. He really couldn't read her. He walked back and opened the door but didn't see Olivia. Naturally his heart started beating really fast.
"Liv?" Fitz called out to her as he looked to his left then his right. He still didn't see her.
"Liv?" He walked some more.
He then heard the shower come on in the main bedroom and instantly relaxed. He knew there was no way she had but for a second He thought she was gone again. He had never been like this around her. A big ball of nerves. After taking off his tie he poured him self a drink. He just wanted to calm down. After all, everything should be ok. He had Olivia back but also knows that that was the easy part. He had no idea what was going on on the other side of that door.
Olivia stood in the shower in disbelief. The whole thing was surreal but reality hit her as soon as she saw him in the flesh. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt the blood drained from her face when Hal walked her through and she saw him. She was paralyzed. The man she loved and ached for was right there. The man she thought about every hour of everyday for months was right there. He was gorgeous and no matter how hard it was going to be she couldn't allow herself to ruin his life anymore. Or hers. Not again. Seeing him will make things harder because she loves him but she will have to be strong. She was just going to figure out away to handle this. She knows he will have questions. She was exhausted and really needed rest. She didn't sleep at all on the plane because her mind was racing.

Fitz went to the bedroom door only to discover it was locked. He patiently waited on Liv. He had been for nearly an hour. He wanted to touch her, hold her, tell her he loved her. he missed his baby. He kept drinking in an attempt to calm his nerves but it ended up doing the opposite. It ended up getting him a little fired up. He paced the floor as he thought about all the questions he had. Why did she leave? What the fuck she was doing with Jake Ballard? Just thinking about that got him even more pissed. He removed his shirt and was now just in his suit pants and undershirt. He wondered what she was doing in there. Why hadn't she come out yet?
"Olivia" he yelled in a demanding tone.
He reached for the door. It was still locked. She didn't respond.
"Olivia" he yelled again as he banged on the door. He took a minute to try and compose himself. Something could have been wrong. He was now worried as well.
"Liv, if you don't open the door I'm going to kick it open" Fitz warned. He didn't want to kick it open but she didn't open the door. What was he to do. Again There was no response. Fitz let out a sigh and backed up a bit. With one swift kick it the door flew open. He walked over to the bed.
"What the fuck is your problem!?" Olivia sat up and asked from the bed. She couldnt believe he really did that.
When Fitz saw that she was awake and fine and was choosing not to answer the door pissed him off.
"You Liv." Fitz shouted as he stood over the bed looking down at her " you are my problem"
"Get out." Olivia said as she threw the covers back and getting out of bed.
All she had on was one of Fitz t-shirts. Olivia wasn't ready to talk to him or be around him. She felt that if she spoke to him now, that if she was around him that she'd give in and not be able to stay away from him. That's the only thing she thought that she could do to protect him from the misery that she brings to his life.
"Where are you going" he yelled rushing to close the door before she could get to it. He stood in front of it.
She looked up at him "Anywhere away from you."
They stood there breathing heavily. Him against the closed the door and her toe to toe with him. She stood with her arms crossed. This was the closest Fitz had been to her since she had been brought there. As angry as he was , he was thrilled to be that close to her. He could even get a wif of her hair. He missed her scent. But he had to stay focused. He was going to try his best to get a hold of himself. Olivia took a few steps back and then turned around. She walked closer to the bed. Fitz left the door, confident that she wouldn't try to walk out again. He took a few steps towards her. He was behind her.
"Why Liv?" His tone was softer " Why did you leave me?"
He couldn't resist. He reached out and touched her arm but she flinched away not wanting to get wrapped up in anything. She was already on the brink of throwing her arms around him and begging for forgiveness. She turned and looked in his eyes for a brief moment before walking to the other side of the bed and sitting down on the edge. Fitz was shocked that he responded to his touch this way. All he wanted to do was make this better. He sighed as he slowly walked in circles with his fingers interlaced above his head.
She sat down on the bed to try and collect herself. She couldn't do this. It was hard to be around him and be strong. He weakens her immediately.
"Liv" Fitz spoke " I need you to talk to me"
He walked over to where she was. He had a seat next to her. Her head remained down, hair falling over her face. She remained silent. She didn't want to do this. She wanted to avoid this. She refused to let him in again. Olivia had to think of something fast. She looked over at him. Next thing Fitz knew, Liv was on top of him, straddling him. It completely caught him off guard. Her movements were frenzied. She was kissing him. Fitz missed her touch, her taste, her soft lips. For a second he embraced her, indulging in what he longed for so long. His hands went beneath her shirt. She just felt so small. It was almost distracting. He flipped her over so that he was on top. Olivia started unbuckling his belt. Fitz was confused. She wasn't acting right. He broke the kiss but she sat up to put her arm around his neck in an effort to pull him back down.
"Liv" he said while trying to stop her. She kept kissing his neck and was fumbling with his belt.
"Liv. Stop." he said a little louder, trying not to get started with her again.
"Liv" he shouted as he roughly grabbed her arms to push her away from him. It startled her a bit.
"Isn't this what you want?" She asked with tears in her eyes "Isnt this why you brought me here?"
Fitz still had a death grip on her arms.
"What Livie?" Fitz answered shocked that she would even think that "No. I brought you back here because I love you and we belong together."
Olivia started to get a little flustered. Her thoughts and emotions were becoming to much and she may have been on the brink of a breakdown. She looked to the side. Fitz had never seen her like this. He put his hand on her cheek to try and turn her face towards his.
"Livy, what's wrong? Are you ok?" Fitz asked but got nothing.
Olivia looked at him "I have to go"
She erratically jumped off the bed and headed for the door but she wasn't fast enough for Fitz. He was on her immediately. He caught her by her right wrist, slinging her around back towards him.
"Let me go" Olivia screamed.
She started hitting at him with her left hand but he quickly caught that one too.
"Let go of me. Let me go. Somebody help me" she continued as she struggled but there was no point. She wasn't going to get away. She got turned around and her back was now pressed against him. Her arms were pinned to her chest in a bear hug.
"Liv-ie" Fitz managed to get out. He was scared and confused. He didn't know what was happening "I want to help you, help us. Why did you leave me?"
Olivia continued to try and wiggle away.
"Please" Olivia cried "Let me go"
Fitz head was resting on hers.
"Why? Why did you leave me?" Fitz asked again almost crying himself.
Liv was still trying to get away and in a moment of emotional weakness his grip loosened. She was trying to jerk away and in doing so she slipped out of his arms and it sent her flying to the ground hard in a sea of tears. It's like time stopped. Fitz stood there, Olivia crying as she pushes herself up off the floor. The only thing heard were the haunting sounds that were Olivia's sobs. She sat there before she spoke.
"I'm tired of hurting you. And, and, I'm tired of being a whore Fitz" Olivia finally admitted.
Fits stood stunned.
"Livie" Fitz said with a soft tone. Her being this upset was killing him "You're not a-"
"Just stop. Rather we refer to me as that or not, fact is, you're still married and I still fuck you" She sniffled.
"Whenever you want" she continued through her cries "Whenever you have two men come and get me. Wherever I'm at in the world"

"Livie" Fitz approached her almost whispering. He got on the floor next to her and pulled her into him "Is that really what goes through your head?"
She nodded finally leaning in to him and letting him hold her. It went through his head at times years ago but he was under the impression that it was a side effect of their love that they both had long become immune to. Olivia continued to cry her eyes out. Fitz heart was breaking. She looked so very broken. And he put her there. Him and Olivia both knew that no matter how much Olivia protested, no matter how many times she warned him against divorce, he could have gotten a divorce years ago. For a reason unbeknownst to him, he never did. After a moment Livie started speaking again.
"When Tom and Hal came I didn't want to go with them" she spoke softly "I didn't know what to do. Hal grabbed me and covered my mouth. Do you have any idea what that was like for me?"
"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry" Fitz said through silent tears as he rocked her.
He never thought about how scary and intimidating it must be to have 2 men coming at you like that, regardless of who they were. Olivia continued to cry.
"Do you remember when you came to see me in the hospital? When I had the concussion?" Olivia asked him.
"Yes Sweetheart" Fitz asked while stroking her hair.
"I lied to you. I wasn't attacked by a stranger. Jake told me to tell you that. I really got it from Jake. I found out he was watching me and we started fighting."
Fitz blood started boiling. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Jake hurt Her. Hurt his Livie.
"Some time after of that" Olivia began. Fitz honestly didn't know how much he could take.
"He came into my office. He threw me against a wall and choked me." Olivia continued through her more controlled emotional state.
"You had him watching me and now my father has him watching me." Olivia said.
Jesus Christ. Fitz started feeling lightheaded. This was his fault. He's the one that put Jake in Olivia's life in the first place and now she was paying for it in the worst way.
"Livie, baby, why did you leave with him? He could have hurt you again?" He asked gently sitting her up by the arms so that he can look into her eyes.
"I thought I deserved it. I thought It was the life I deserved for hurting you." She said started to cry heavily again before working her way back into his arms.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed "Please forgive me"

"Shhh" Fitz said as he rocked her again "Come on." He stood to pick her up off the ground and carried her over to the bed. He pulled the covers back and laid her down. He covered her up and smoothed the hair out of her face.

"Don't go." Livie said reaching for him.
Fitz bent down and kissed her forehead.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to step out to make some arrangements and ill be right back in here with you. Rest." He kissed her once more and quietly walked out.
Fitz grabbed the kitchen counter to stable himself. He was fuming. He immediately poured himself a drink. He began trying to process everything that just happened. Liv was in so much pain. He didn't want this for her. He didn't want this for them. He couldn't believe that Jake would pull some shit like this. He had no idea how much of a punk Jake was. Jake had no idea what was about to come his way. He was about to get his. Fitz picked up his phone.
"Tom." Fitz said into the phone.

Meanwhile, back in St. Lucia...

ok guys. Sorry if that's so long. Just kind Of got carried away. Let me know what you think. Please review.