A clock chimed two somewhere in the distance, and Ivy sat up in bed with a sigh. She looked fondly at the woman beside her, curled up with a teddy bear, fast asleep. She was glad to see Harley sleeping so peacefully, but she still couldn't shake the intense sadness that had left her lying awake every night over the past few months. She carefully tucked the duvet around Harley's shoulders and left a light kiss on her cheek, before slipping out of bed.
The night was chilly. Ivy shivered as she made her way towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. She let out an involuntary gasp as her bare feet made contact with the cold tiles on the kitchen floor. Through her heavy eyes and aching head, she watched the sparkling moonlit water rush out of the tap and swirl around her glass, before dragging herself to the sofa to slowly sip at it, contemplating a late night walk.
Late night walks had become something of a habit for her lately. The fresh night air gave her something of a break from the darkness in her mind, which had been threatening to take over ever since the day that Harley moved in.
How many times had Ivy allowed herself to hope that her friend would finally see sense and leave the Joker for good? How many times had she wished that Harley would stay with her and be her partner in both crime and love? Too many, she thought as the knot in her stomach tightened. Every minute Harley had spent with that psychopathic clown had broken her just a little bit more inside, and it was only now that they were together as lovers that Ivy could see the true extent of the mark he had left inside her.
Harley had never been what most people would consider "sane" - she had been wonderfully loopy for as long as Ivy had known her, and she adored her for it. She loved her childlike wonder and energy, her exaggerated expressions, her ridiculous schemes and ideas... But these days she was just wild. Her behaviour was erratic, often terrifyingly so, and Ivy knew that hidden beneath the layers of bizarre obsessions and carefree insanity was a terrified and hurting young woman. A terrified and hurting young woman that Ivy just couldn't reach.
Ivy drained the last sip of water and let out a frustrated moan. All she wanted was to curl up and sleep as peacefully as...
Her eyes widened at the sound of thrashing and crying from the bedroom. She leapt up and hurried into the bedroom, where Harley was sitting upright in bed, wiping tears from her cheeks.
"Harl?"
A deep breath rushed out of Harley's slightly parted lips and she looked up.
"Oh... It's only you, Red. I just – it was a bad dream."
Ivy could just make out Harley twisting a stray strand of hair around her finger through the darkness. She turned on the lamp on the bedside table before positioning herself on top of the covers, next to her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently. She reached out to stroke Harley's arm, but froze as the other woman involuntarily flinched.
Harley sniffed, rubbed her eyes and then looked at the hand hovering in front of her. She slowly closed her fingers around Ivy's, feeling a little sick and ashamed.
"Sorry," she whispered. "Guess the dream's still fresh in my mind."
"Don't be sorry," said Ivy, slightly too forcefully as a familiar anger tore through the pit of her stomach. She hesitated, looking into the beautiful, sad blue eyes beside her. "I'm worried about you, Harley."
There was a long silence as the sleepy blonde wondered how to respond. Her first instinct was to deny everything, but a quiet voice somewhere deep in her subconscious was trying to make itself heard. Has denying your feelings ever helped you yet? As much as she didn't want to, Harley was forced to admit to herself that clamming up and hiding her feelings from everyone, even the person she was closest to, had done nothing to help her; if anything, the exhaustion that tended to come hand in hand with putting on so many faces was dragging her down even more.
"I know," she said slowly. "I – I just haven't been myself recently. Whatever 'bein' myself' is even supposed to mean. I'm not even sure what 'myself' is meant to feel like."
Ivy's eyebrows furrowed as she watched her lover's lip tremble. Harley blinked rapidly to hide her watering eyes and tried to twist her lips into something resembling a smile. She let out a strangled giggle before dissolving into a shaking heap of messy hair and tears.
Ivy put her hand gingerly on her back, hoping to soothe her. Harley's wails were more than she could take. She threw her arms around the sobbing mess of a woman in front of her.
"Harley, listen to me," she said fiercely. "You are a strong woman. A really strong and beautiful person. Hell, you're the only human being I don't think is a fucking waste of oxygen. You can be whatever – whoever – you want to be, and I am here to support you. Do you understand?"
Harley extricated herself from Ivy's tight embrace and nodded, her heart melting in the radiant warmth of Ivy's love.
"Thanks, Red." She broke into the most genuine smile Ivy had seen for a long time. She gave a hollow chuckle. "Funny thing is, I'd kinda forgotten what it's like when someone really loves and cares for me. Even when you're not, y'know, pickin' up my pieces, you make me feel like I'm really worth somethin'. It's nice."
Ivy didn't know what to say, so she cuddled her close.
"You are worth something, Harley – more than 'something'! You're everything to me."
A girlish giggle escaped Harley's mouth.
"Oh, c'mon, Red! You're makin' me blush an' eveythin'."
"I mean it, Harl." She hesitated. "I... I know that you're hurting at the moment, and I know that you need time to heal, okay? That... clown was fucking horrible to you."
Harley didn't want to meet Ivy's eyes.
"Yeah. Yeah he was."
Ivy stroked the other woman's wet cheek, and Harley turned to face her.
"But y'know what, Red? When I'm with you... I start to feel like I'm gonna be okay."
Author's Note: Thanks for the encouraging reviews! I originally intended to leave the ending of this story fairly open, because as nice as a happy ending might be, there are too many people in the real world who never get their happy ending. However... This story got a couple of follows and reviews asking what happens next, and I felt a bit like writing something kind of bittersweet, so I wrote one more chapter.