Disclaimer - I forgot this for the first 4 chapters so don't shoot me but I obviously do not own tfios and if I did, there would be a lot more Isaac and happiness!

It wasn't until that night when my world came crashing down on me and the memories of Gus returned. I felt so guilty for forgetting him for so long and being happy again without him. I know that sounds stupid and he would want me to be happy but now that I could be with him potentially, I had forgotten him and not even tried to find him; too swept up in the hectic whirlwind of everything. I ached for him and couldn't stand not knowing what the whole 'category, organisation' system was and how it worked and why Gus wasn't already there with me.

For dinner, Alaska and I got pizza with potato wedges. It was the best meal I had ever had (even narrowly beating the Amsterdam meal). We had chocolate ice-cream for dessert and it was as if I was.. well, in Heaven! We spent the remainder of the day/evening after decorating our room stocking up the huge book shelves and dancing around to deafeningly loud music. We also spent some time in the garden, just lying around and again, more dancing (since I could, why would I waste it?). It felt so unbelievably amazing to have so much freedom and be able to do so much more than I could before.

But then the night came and the memories came back, and they didn't just float gracefully into my head, they were drilled in by a heavy-handed DIY specialist. I was confused and ashamed and wanted to find him.

"Alaska?" I said softly, as we both lay in the dark, attempting to try and sleep.

"Hmm?" She responded, softly, not turning to face me.

"Do you know everyone here?" I asked, curiously.

"Pretty much. Why?"

"Do you know someone called Augustus Waters?"

Alaska turned to face me now, "Not in our section. But he might be in another one? Who is he?"

"He was my boyfriend. Before he... before he died. And I died. We were sort of meant to be together up here or where ever here is."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I had someone... I died first... never mind. Well I don't know of anyone here by that name but you can always go to Irin and ask her about it. Or Iris. One of them are usually down at the centre running around, doing one thing or another. You'll also get a whole big welcoming visit tomorrow morning from Irin to see how you're settling in and if I'm taking care of you, blah, blah, blah.."

"Right. Okay. Okay, I'll go see them. Yes, okay." I was finding it hard to comprehend everything Alaska had just told me and that I might not get to be with the person I truly loved and wanted to be with. I loved Augustus so much and now I had, had him torn away from me again. It wasn't fair.

Tears began to fall from my eyes, onto the pillow and although I tried to wipe them away, more took their place until I was uncontrollably sobbing like an idiot. I sat up covered my face with my hands. Alaska sat up too and switched on the lamp on her bedside table, illuminating the room. She moved closer to me and placed a hand on my upper arm,

"Hey, it's okay, talk to them. It could all work out and you'll get to see him again. Alternatively, there is a sort of merging day every 3 months where you can wonder freely into the other sectors. It's all so complicated to be honest, I was here to see the old way and although I prefer this catered for everyone individually thing, it was a lot less confusing before." She said soothingly.

I nodded and sniffed, wiping away the last few years that were slowly making their way down my face.

"When is the next merging thing then?" I asked, having now regained some form of composure.

"Not long I don't think. 6 weeks or so. But time works differently up here so Augustus could have been here from your point of view, a month and to him, it would be like a year. Sometimes it works the other way; it's not an exact science. So you have to be prepared for him being a little different. What year was it when you died?"

"2013. Almost 2014." I replied, slightly taken aback by the question. It's not something you get asked everyday.

"Okay so it's been about 8 years since I died but up here, it's been more like 15. I should be 23 now..." Alaska trailed off slightly and looked down for a moment before continuing, "but for the day you've been up here so far, it could already be 2014 down there. See what I mean?"

I nodded. It was a lot to take in and I was still panicking about possibly seeing or not seeing Augustus but I tried to suppress the chaos that was going on in my head at that moment. Instead of saying one of the many things I was desperate to though, I said,

"So you've been here for 15 years? Don't you get bored or something?"

Alaska smiled and began to laugh,

"wow, I just spouted all that information at you and this is what you ask? No, you don't get bored. It's weird. It's like the day before never happened. You remember it happening and you still get to have those experiences but you don't feel like it happened. It's hard to explain. It's like you never get tired of being here because every day is like your first day even though you know its not. You'll see what I mean tomorrow, it's strange."

I nodded in understanding and then lay back down on my bed, I was worn out from all the hysterical (and incredibly embarrassing) crying.

"Goodnight Alaska, thank you for everything." I said, yawning.

Alaska lay down too and switched of the lamp.

"Goodnight Hazel, you are very welcome, it has been a pleasure." She said softly in the darkness.

It didn't take me long to give in to the pull of sleep and drift off. It was a deep sleep and for the first time in months I felt like I was actually resting instead of just hanging in a weird limbo of what was meant to be sleep but never really gave me the release I needed and wanted. It was nice to finally have that release. I was at peace finally. All I needed was Augustus here with me and it would be perfect. I loved him so much and I was going to stop at nothing to get him back to me. I decided that tomorrow was the day I would be reunited with him one way or another and I wouldn't take no for an answer.

A/N - Oh my lord, hello I am back. I know it's been like a year since I have posted anything but A LOT has been happening and everything I had written for this had been deleted by the site because I didn't edit it in time and it's been a messed up year. But I promise I am going to try and post again and actually be a good author person this time around, hopefully. Thank you to everyone who has followed and review since I have been on leave because they all mean a lot to me and I read them and it made me come back and actually be bothered to carry this on even most of you have probably lost interest in this by now. Oh well, thank you anyway and I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones to come. I made up the dates and stuff based on online forums and publishing dates also so if you don't agree with the dates, I'm sorry, they were just guestimates because I kinda want a plot where Alaska gets Pudge back and gets to explain to him what happened and get some of that little cuteness in there and maybe Isaac coming in to it with them so I needed the times to not all add up and be a bit all over the place and stuff. So yes, sorry for leaving and sorry this is so long, I'll shut up now, byeee.