A/N: Written as a quick palate cleanser. This story is a combination of two prompts from the Mass Effect Kink Meme on Livejournal:

Our favourite little krogan finds a carnival-sized varren plushie (somewhere), comes back for it later, and later proceeds to never let it out of his sight. Even in a combat zone.

And:

It occurs to me that we see a lot of motherly Shepard, which I ADORE, but not much fatherly shepard.

So give me Shepard being Grunt's father figure.

Winner of the 2015 Mass Effect Kink Meme People's Choice Awards for Best Non-Sexual/Non-Romantic Story


There were many things that the tank imprints didn't tell him. Shepard was always happy to explain whenever Grunt saw something he couldn't make sense of. On the day they went to the Silver Coast Casino, there were many things that didn't make sense. By the time they got to the area advertised as "Junior Games", Shepard's voice was hoarse from all the talking he'd had to do.

They were almost out of the casino when Grunt's eye was drawn to a large wall on which many different animals resided. Grunt frowned as he picked out the different shapes along the wall - Earth animals like dogs and cats; pyjacks and varren. "They are not making any sound," Grunt said. "How are they not all fighting?"

"They're stuffed animals, Grunt," Shepard said patiently. "They're just … toys."

Grunt watched as a small human aimed a pistol at a series of targets. There was a 'ding' sound when the targets fell over. The small human jumped triumphantly as the larger human behind the counter told him he had won a prize. The small human picked one of the Earth cats (a tiger) for his prize, clutching it to his chest as he ran back to his mother.

"The small human has a new companion," Grunt said.

"Yeah, that's a happy kid," Shepard agreed. "Come on, Grunt, we need to get moving."

Grunt reluctantly allowed himself to be lead away from the fascinating sights and sounds. But only because there would be mercenaries to kill soon.

Later, as the turian talked to Shepard about the one who had betrayed him, Grunt slipped away. He was not needed for this, and they would not be on the Citadel for much longer. He had a goal, and he was going to achieve it.

Grunt returned to the Silver Coast Casino and headed straight for the Junior Games area, finding the target shooting game that the small human had been playing. Grunt walked over and started studying the stuffed animals on the wall.

"I want to play this game," he told the human behind the counter.

"This is a kid's game," the human said, eyeing him warily.

"I am less than a year old. Does that not make me a kid?"

"You're …" the human said, then shook his head. "Don't argue with the nice krogan, Louis. All right, twenty credits to play."

Grunt smiled his broadest smile as he made the transaction, and picked up the pistol. He knew it was not a real pistol, because it did not behave like one. But the tank imprints helped him figure out how to shoot such a small weapon, and he had soon knocked over all the targets.

He selected the large varren as his prize and clutched it tightly the whole way back to the Normandy.


"There you are!" Shepard exclaimed as Grunt walked up. "I wondered where …" he trailed off as he saw what Grunt was carrying. "Oh, Grunt. You went back to the casino."

"I have a companion now," Grunt said proudly. "I will call him Squishy."

Shepard sighed, the sound he made when he had been trying to explain something to Grunt for a while. "Nice job, Grunt," he said. Grunt's back straightened at the praise from Shepard, and he thumped Squishy against his chest.

"He is my Squishy," Grunt said, lifting the varren's paw to wave it at Shepard.

"Well, you'd better put Squishy down by the tank," Shepard said. "It's dinner time."

"Squishy is hungry too," Grunt informed him, and headed to the mess hall before Shepard could respond.

Grunt was pleased that everyone recognized what he had done to win Squishy. They were all looking at him as he walked across the floor, putting Squishy down on an empty chair before he went to get food. He brought two plates over - one for himself and one for Squishy.

"Uh… hey, big guy," Jacob Taylor said, staring right at Squishy. "Whatcha got there?"

"This is my Squishy," Grunt said. "I won him at the casino. He is my friend."

"Right," the dark-skinned human said slowly. "And you're making a plate for Squishy."

"Of course. It would be rude of me to eat and not give him food," Grunt said, nodding decisively. Really, what was the human not understanding? "He is my friend."

"Uh huh." Jacob Taylor went back to eating his own food, which looked boring compared to Grunt's plate.

As it turned out, Squishy was not that hungry, so Grunt ate his food for him.


" … and then Shepard leapt up into the air and slammed his fist down right on the thresher maw's face!" Grunt said to Squishy, finishing the tale of how Shepard and Justicar Samara had helped him complete the Rite of Passage and become a member of Clan Urdnot.

"That's … a hell of a story, Grunt," Shepard said from behind him. Grunt looked up, grinning broadly as he brought Squishy around to look at Shepard.

"Squishy would have liked to have seen the thresher maw's head explode," Grunt informed him.

"Right." Shepard coughed. "I wanted to tell you to get suited up. We're going to collect the Reaper IFF."

Grunt thumped his chest. "Heh heh heh. Squishy and I will be ready to kill whatever needs killing."

" … Uh, Grunt, it might be better if Squishy stayed behind."

"Squishy is my companion! He goes where I go." Grunt picked up Squishy and placed him on the table so that Squishy could look right at Shepard. "On Tuchanka, Urz followed you around."

"Urz didn't come into combat with us," Shepard said, giving that same sigh that he gave when Grunt had been asking a lot of questions.

"He should have," Grunt said. "He would have been a mighty warrior."

"Grunt…" Shepard shook his head. "Squishy is a stuffed animal. He can't fight anyone."

Grunt put his hands over Squishy's ears. "Don't say that," he said intently to Shepard. "You'll hurt his feelings."

Shepard looked up at the ceiling, then back down at Grunt. "Squishy stays here," he said.

Grunt folded his arms across his chest. "Then I stay here."

"Grunt! Don't be such a …" Shepard stopped. He sighed again. "Okay, Grunt. Squishy can come with us. But if he gets … scared … you'll have to leave him behind next time."

"Squishy will not be scared," Grunt promised him.


"I. AM. KROGAN!" Grunt yelled as he threw his head into the face of a charging husk. Squishy was tied to Grunt's waist so that he could use both of his hands to kill things. Squishy's white fur was splattered with blood and guts from the husks that had been foolish enough to take on a krogan and his varren companion. He was glad there had been husks to kill. It would have been boring if nothing had come to fight them.

At that moment, there were no more husks. Shepard and Miranda had taken care of the rest of them. Grunt felt a grin splitting his face as he reached to bring Squishy up to his chest again.

Behind him, he heard Miranda speaking. "I can't believe you let him bring his stuffed toy with us."

"You try talking him out of it," Shepard grumbled. Grunt did not see what the problem was. Squishy was not scared, and Grunt was killing their enemies. He would have to give Squishy a bath when they got back to the Normandy, before the blood dried in his fur. Or maybe the blood would make Squishy look more intimidating to their enemies.

Grunt tucked Squishy under his left arm while Shepard and Miranda advanced forward. It wasn't long before they heard moaning and the pounding of feet running towards them. Grunt grinned and dropped Squishy to his side. More enemies to kill!

Grunt lost himself in the bloodrage, taking down each enemy as they came towards him. Nothing could hurt him when he was like this, with limbs flying everywhere and skulls smashing under his might. Soon there was only the Scion left, lumbering slowly towards them. Grunt roared and charged at it, his shotgun out and spraying pellets in its gruesome body.

"RAAAAH!"

This time, however, Grunt had gotten too close. The Scion's blast knocked him down, leaving him gasping for breath. He reached down to his side and felt for Squishy.

His companion was torn nearly in half, fuzzy guts spilling out.

"YOU HURT MY SQUISHY!" Grunt roared, getting to his feet and charging at the Scion.


Grunt sat next to his tank, looking down at the mangled wreck of Squishy. He had saved as much of the guts as he could, apologizing profusely to his friend as he tied Squishy tighter around his back. He had cleaned as much of the blood and gore from Squishy's fur as he could, but it wasn't enough. His shoulders slumping, he let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Squishy," he said. "I should have listened to Shepard and left you here."

"Grunt?" the human doctor said. Grunt turned to look at her. "Shepard told me about … Squishy."

Grunt brightened immediately. Doctor Chakwas patched up wounds. "Can you fix him?" he asked eagerly.

Chakwas knelt next to Squishy and brought something out from her waist. "I think I can," she said. "I'll need a few minutes."

"Please," Grunt said, lifting his head up to look at Chakwas. "It's my fault he got hurt. I want to make him better."

Chakwas brought out what the tank imprints told him was a needle and thread and began to bring Squishy's sides together, sealing his fuzzy guts inside him once more. Grunt watched carefully, marveling at how she was able to bring him back together. She was doing it! She was making Squishy better!

Chakwas smiled as she handed Squishy to him. "There you go," she said. "He's got a scar, but he's better now."

Grunt grabbed Chakwas and pulled her into a hug. "You made Squishy better!" he roared. "I will kill whatever enemy you wish."

"Not … so … tight … Grunt," Chakwas wheezed. Grunt had almost forgotten how soft humans were. He released her, grinning broadly.

"If I ever have an enemy that needs killing, I'll let you know," she said.

Grunt thumped his chest in approval and tucked Squishy under his arm, back where he belonged.


When Grunt went into battle alongside Shepard and the geth Legion, Squishy was sitting in a harness made by Tali'Zorah, wearing a visor the turian had given him and an omni-tool from the salarian. He was clad in armor made by the drell Thane, and on the armor Shepard had written 'N7' in red.

"I. AM. KROGAN!" Grunt yelled. "AND SQUISHY IS. MY. FRIEND!"