From the manga that made you love death so much

It made stupid teens to kill themselves

Comes this anime adaption that makes you feel so smart while watching it

But really you don't even know what the characters are even talking about

It was so controversial

The author hide his/her face away from the public

And made white suburban parents rage when their kids brought a fake Death Note to school

That stays at home, you idiots!

They're not supposed know that exists!

God, it's like that Manhunt incident all over again...

DEATH NOTE

Live in the Japan that Japan sees itself as

*Everyone wearing suits and other formal clothing*

While we all see the Japan with the game shows and weird inventions

*Insert some random Japanese game show clip*

Meet Light Yagami, otherwise known as...

Thgil Im-a-gay

He finds every thing boring and one day, he finds the Death Note

A book with the a very obvious title on it that I'm surprised no one else tried to look at it

I mean, it's Death Note in big white letters

Who wouldn't go and look at it?

When he finds it, he takes it home with him

He reads the so very convenient instructions at the back of the cover

Which says whoever writes someone's name in the notebook, they'll die in forty seconds

He tries it out on a man that was about to rape a woman

And it works so he begins to become a serial killer that kills in the name of justice

No one suspects until the police department decides to catch the one that has been killing all of those criminals

Light's basically doing their job for them, so I guess that's the only reason they'll get up on their asses, they were losing their paychecks

Light goes under a new alias known as Kira

Which sounds like a girl's name over in the West

But in Japan it's killer spelled wrong

The police realize they can't do s***, so they hire...

*Showing L*

This creepy so-called "detective"

That doesn't wear shoes and eats more sugar than Honey Boo Boo

It's his job to take down Kira and he starts to suspect Light

And then handcuffs himself to him

Causing millions of fangirls to make gay fanfiction about them non-stop

Do you people realize that he wants to kill him, right?

You wouldn't do a person that's trying to kill you

While Light is trying to cover his identity, another person claiming to be him screws every thing up

*Showing clip of Misa*

Ugh, not you...

This goth blondie is very whiney, needy, stupid, and so damn HOT!

Damn, those booobs...

Grr... I'm hating her while loving her at the same time!

I hate it when my dick does this!

Light, while balancing two psychos and an ex-girlfriend along with his father being a police chief in his life

He has to take care of an apple-loving ghost named Ryuk

That scares the s*** out of you with his creepy-ass face

The reason why he follows Light is that he is holding his notebook

And he cannot just kill him and take it back, so he has to be Light's bitch for a while

Watch as Light does things a teenager does such as...

Read porn magazines

Do homework

Have multiple girlfriends

Watch TV in a potato chip bag

Eat junk food sexually

Every thing a teenage boy does except masterbating or having sex

Come on! Can he just ask the stupid blond to have sex

She said she'll do anything, so just take advantage of that!

Man, I guess that's why fans think he's gay...

So sit back for...

Narrations

Ugly-looking criminals because stereotyping

People falling off of things

Colors schemes

Food fetishes

And...

The best drama anime soundtrack that made you think Jesus was badass for a while

You know, it wouldn't be such a big mess if Light had just made all of his victims' deaths look like accidents and coincidental instead of just killing them off like if they were flies

Starring...

Asian Justin Bieber (Light)

Cake Boss (L)

Madonna (Misa)

OMG WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?! (Ryuk)

Lindsey Lohan (Rem)

Tom Selleck (Soichiro)

Light with longer hair (Mikami)

Jell-O (Mello)

Albino Jigsaw (Near)

What every PC gamer thinks they are (Matt)

Who cares? (Matsuda)

Oh! Afro Samurai! (Aizawa)

Doesn't ring a bell (Mogi)

Nu-uh (Ukita)

Ugggh (Naomi)

Nope (Ray Pember)

Oh, that's the girl that dies naked (Takada)

Oh, oh! Brad Pitt! (Aiber)

And that's Angelina Jolie! (Wedy)

DEATH BOOK