A/N

So, awhile ago DotA 2 got the Stanley Parable announcement pack. One YouTube listening later, and I drabbled up this.

Parable

Once upon a time, there was a hero. I don't know why he (or she, but he will be used because it's one letter less) was a hero, given that he had never done anything heroic. Only partake in an endless series of battles with the purpose of destroying an enemy's structure while preventing the enemy from destroying theirs. Not very heroic I might say.

Yet the hero was happy. He got to partake in these battles. Day in, day out. Victories meaning nothing. Defeats meaning nothing. Well, defeats might result in more verbal abuse than usual, but otherwise, they meant nothing. So on a day like any other, the hero entered the realm of…whatever the realm was called, to fight for…whatever her fought for, and prepared to do battle. Even though he had prepared the same way every other time. But was happy all the same.

But this time, it was different. The hero found to his amazement, that when he entered the battlefield for the 427th time, there were no other heroes. No minions. No strange voice in the sky telling him anything. No first bloods. No dominating, no towers under attack, nothing.

It briefly occurred to the hero to explore a bit. After all, he had been on this map hundreds of times. What lay beyond the trees? Anything? Perhaps he might use this moment for philosophical reflection. Perhaps he might try to get out of the game and find another. Yet it was only for a moment. Because this was a game that had to be played. Had to be won. So the hero exited his based and went down the right lane.

After coming to the end of the left lane (wait, what?), the hero decided to cut across the centre (but he's in the right…) of the map, to see what creeps (are you paying attention?) could be found. Yet there were none. So now, in the right lane (good, back on track), the hero kept walking until he reached the enemy's base. Never mind that there was no enemy. But he did reach the enemy's (I said there were no enemies!) Ancient. A big, black volcano thing that didn't look particularly ancient at all.

"Welcome," it said. "Dost thou seek the answer to this riddle? Why it is only thyself who graces the battlefield?"

The hero opened his mouth to speak. And-

The hero decided he had had enough. Talking volcanoes were nearly as silly as talking flowers, and (wait, don't you want to know the answer?) come to think of it, the entire setup was completely ridiculous. If he (he wants to know the truth!) was completely honest with himself, perhaps exploring was the right (don't you want to know how the story ends) idea. So explore he (no) did. Through the (no!) trees. Beyond the battlefield. Reaching the (no! Don't come in!) narrator.

…bollocks.

Well, this was awkward. Awkward for the hero. And awkward for myself as I find the hero looking at me, wondering how best to finish this story. I had a great plot planned you see. The Ancient was going to…wait, why should I tell you, jackass? You clearly didn't want to know the secrets of the Ancients, so why should I tell you now?

"You suck at DotA, you know that?"

The hero spoke. Or did I write that, to address my own inadequacies.

"You couldn't even give me a definite identity. 107 heroes and I'm just some generic."

Well excuse me Mr Smartypants. I was trying to establish a metaphor that the hero doesn't matter, that in the context of the story, it is the player's identity that is important, not-

"I'm leaving."

And he left. Good. Got that bastard out of my story. Or did he leave himself?

Maybe it doesn't matter. Because that's the end of the story.