Set my skin on fire with your fingertips, drag them across my scarred skin and watch as I fall apart beneath your touch. Kiss me, press your soft lips ever so gently against my own chapped mouth and melt my brain to mush. Whisper soft words into my ear, tell me I'm beautiful...tell me how I make you happy...tell me you love me until I'm clinging onto your shoulders, desperate for your kisses.

Tell me how you need me, tell me how without me you'd be nothing without me. Let me watch you with wide eyes, let me be in love with every word that falls from your sinfully red lips. Grasp my hand tight within yours and as I feel the reassuring beat of your fluttering pulse beneath my fingertips. Let me twine my fingers into your ebony hair and feel the thick soft hair for myself.

Torture me with your lips and pull me apart with your hands. You could leave me in the middle of the stormy ocean with you as my only lifeline and yet I bet I would feel as safe and happy as I do tucked up into our creaking bed in our leaky flat that I call our home. Breath my name into my skin and love me forever until I believe that we could survive the night.

Oh Sirius...tell me you love me.

Wrap the tartan blanket around my hips and pull me close as I struggle to catch my breath. Mumble kisses into my neck and wrap your strong, tanned arms around my thin, pale, insignificant body and let me tuck my head into your shoulder and puff out breaths that sound suspiciously like your name against the damp skin there. Make me feel loved in your torturous embrace.

Rock me until sleep beckons and I fall head first into the pits of the reassuring, warm, familiar darkness knowing in my mind that you'd be there to protect from any monsters who could possibly attack whilst I'm vulnerable. Let me live in a fantasy world where your love for me goes beyond the moon and back.

Wake me suddenly, by jumping out of bed and sprinting for the floo call so I tumble out of our bed and land unceremoniously onto the harsh carpeted floor. Let me mumble curses as I hold my hand to my scorched cheek as I blearily pad my way out to you, wrapped only in your old red dressing gown that is as much mine as it is yours.

Let me ask you why you're crying, why we're up in the middle of the night for Merlin's sakes Sirius! Yell at me, scream through your tears about how it's all over, how we have nothing anymore without them, tell me how their gone in the form of shouts and fists. Give me just a minute to realise what you mean, how Lily and James are gone and Harry? Oh merlin Harry!

Scream your pain and resentment at me because I know that you think that I'm the traitor, that I've personally inflicted this upon you even though I've been in bed with you all night, tell me how we have nothing, repeat it several times, 'nothing Remus! We're alone! They won't even let us keep Harry!'

Let me question you. 'What about us, Sirius? Don't we have each other?' Glare at me, sneer towards me in a way so similar to your mother's scowl that it frightens me for a moment and I have to remember, no, this is Sirius. He loves me, he loves me, because didn't you love me at some point?

Tell me that without them we're nothing anymore. Dress quickly and grab your wand and state loudly that we're going to kill the bastard that did this to us. Let me grab your hand and beg you to stay because I won't go with, let me proclaim that 'I'm not a killer, Sirius!'. Give me a look so infatuated with disgust that I take a step back and then snarl, 'fine, but. I won't be coming back. '

And then leave.

Slam the door behind you and leave it rattling on it's rusted hinges. Walk with your footsteps so heavy I can hear them all the way down the hall. Leave me, shocked and shaking with tears running down my face thick and hot and heavy and why-why-why...

Don't come back because you shouldn't have left.

Don't tell me you love me because if you had you'd still be here.

Leave my skin icy and cold with the only warmth from the rapidly cooling sweat on my forehead and our shared dressing gown. Let me crumple on the floor and curl up on the carpet with my hands around my shins and my wet face pressed to my knees.

Leave me Sirius, because if you were mine in the first place, you would never have left.

(Pagebreak)

Come back 12 years later, with your hair greying and matted, your once toned stomached concave and empty. Your glittering grey eyes dull and lifeless until you set your eyes on me when they flash with something, is it hatred? Is it disgust? Is it a mixture of everything horrible in the world?

Is it still love, Sirius?

Fall into my arms and weep inconsolably. Let me hold you and coax food into your mouth because your stomach has been starved from food for so long that all you can manage is a few mouthfuls of gruel that I've sweetened with sugar. Let me sponge the dirt from your body and hair in the bath and leave the water grimy and black in a way that makes you look away in shame.

Let me towel dry you and press kisses against your damp, prominent ribs. Give me time to glance up worriedly and check that's it's okay, that we're okay? Give me a teary-eyed smile and pull me up to kiss you properly.

Let me cut your hair in front of the fire until it's chin length and wavy, look at me with tears in your eyes once again that night and mumble apologies, tell me how you would've come back, you would've but they got you 'and on merlin I'm so sorry, I still love-I still love you-'

Let me welcome you with open arms into the small cottage in the country I own that once was my father's-let me tell you that he's dead. Let me dismiss your apologies in favour of kissing you because you came back, Sirius. You came back.

Let me guess that you really were mine after all. Tell me that you and mine and that I am yours and let us breathe I-love-you'd against each other's panting lips.

Rest your head on my chest that night, and intertwine my fingers with yours. Let the familiar spark of fire travel from your body to mine and let me feel at home.

A/N

I will update my stories soon! Tell me which one you want updates in the reviews! Did you like this? Did I do it well? I wanted to write something raw. Did I do it justice?

-Lupin3Black