Cas didn't know what to do, all these years defending the righteous man for it all to be taken away by Metatron. Just one swift movement on Metatron's part and it was all over. But they'd won. Metatron was in a cell and would not be any more trouble. Cas wished he could kill him, for pure revenge. But Cas was an angel, and he would not stoop that low, not again. He'd won all the hearts of all the angels, he could fix heaven and make it great again. Of course, there was the problem with his grace. He could feel it burning inside him, slowly fading and dwindling away. But honestly, he didn't care for some reason. Dean was gone. The empty feeling inside of him was more painful than any wound that had been inflicted upon him.
"What do we do now?" Hannah asked with a hopeful tone,
"We rebuild heaven," There was no feeling in his voice, no passion. It was like he was numb from the inside out. His lips were dry and his throat was sore from holding back tears. He continued "But there is something I must do first." Before waiting for a reply, he was in the bunker.
Sam was sat alone with a glass of whiskey in his hand. "Hey, Cas." with tears in his eyes, he took a swig from the glass.
"Where is he?" There was a different tone in this voice, not from anger nor fear, but from defeat. There was nothing left fighting for. Sam nodded toward the door on the other side of the room. "In his room. We have to bury him... Just- not yet, okay?"
"Okay." He headed for the the door before Sam said,
" I tried, Cas. I tried to get Crowley to save him... He didn't show. I tried so hard to save him and I couldn't. It wasn't good enough." He took another swig and poured more whiskey into the empty glass. Cas stood silently. He wanted to say something to comfort him, but the words wouldn't come out. Sam took a swig and continued "I said that I wouldn't do the same. That if he died I wouldn't go to extreme measures to save him. Cas, dean died thinking I didn't want to save him. He died thinking he was alone." His eyes became red and full of tears. He threw back the last of the whiskey and wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand. Cas stood there, trying to think of something to say, something to comfort him. The words don't seem to fit together so he just says "This wasn't your fault." Sam looked up from his glass for the first time since Cas arrived at the bunker and the corners of his mouth curl into a weak smile, "I know, Cas." The smile faded and he looked back at his empty glass. Cas took this as a cue to leave and see Dean.
He knew he wasn't ready. When he turned the door handle into the corridor, his hands shook and he licked his lips with a dry tongue. Dean's room was the first on the left. He knows this because he has visited before. He sat on the end of his bed and watched him sleep peacefully. His eyes moving under his eyelids, seeing some wonderment of a dream. His mouth murmuring something inaudible even to Cas, but it still gave him comfort. His chest moving with each breath, a sigh escaping his lips. He was so... Peculiar. Cas always found it fascinating to watch humans sleep, but with Dean it was different somehow.
He lingered at the door, his fingertips lightly touching the door handle. He was definitely not ready. Readiness aside, he knew he had to do it. He had to say one last goodbye to his best friend. Scratch that, he was more than a best friend. He finally clutched the door handle and opened the door. Still holding the door handle, he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the dead righteous man laying on the bed. Maybe he could pretend he was just peacefully sleeping, like all those nights when Cas visited.
"Cas?" A voice came from the depths of the room, "Cas, keep your eyes closed, man. I don't want you to see me like this."
Cas's heart skipped a beat and he clutched the door handle tightly, his eyes tight shut.
"Dean? Dean, you're alive?"
"Seems so..."
"But Metatron, he- didn't he?" His hand grasped the door handle tighter and he couldn't keep his eyes shut any more. He opened them and saw dean, sitting on the bed. But it wasn't Dean, not all of him. His soul was torn and frayed. His eyes cold and black, not the dazzling green they once were.
"Dude, don't freak out, please, I need you to tell me it's okay. Tell me you can fix this." He stood up and walked over to Cas, so he was only a metre away. Cas's hand fell from the door handle and his eyes widened.
"Dean..." Dean looked at Cas's eyes and didn't break the contact. His black eyes full of emotion. "Dean- it's okay."
"You serious?" His eyes flitted to green and he took a step closer,
"Yes." Not backing away, he looked at Dean. He was still in there. This was still Dean.
"You have no idea how much better that makes me feel." He ran his fingers through his hair and stepped yet another step closer, closing the metre to just a few inches.
"Superman has gone dark side." Cas said, a smirk sneaking onto his face. Dean threw his head back and let out a belly laugh.
"Yeah, superman has gone dark side, Cas." He smiled and slapped Cas across the shoulder but lingered there. Feeling Cas's warmth made the cold inside him burn. He smiled again and scrunched some of the material of the trench coat in his hand. He felt his insides burn with emotion for the first time since he woke up. He pulled Cas into a hug and felt his warmth take over his body.
Cas's arms wrapped about Dean's back and he let out a sigh of relief. Cas could feel Dean's heart beating, a sign of life, a sign of hope. His soul may be blackened but it is still Dean. He found himself yearning for more than this. More than a hug. Dean felt the same, he felt Cas's stubble rub against his cheek. He pulled away from the hug and just looked at Cas, admiring every feature on his face. Every pore, every scratch, his stubble. Cas did the same. Every freckle, each glorious cheekbone, his gorgeous jawline. He brushed his thumb on Dean's chin and found his eyes lingering on his lips and before he knew it he was pulling Dean's face close to his. Their foreheads were touching and his hand was grasping the back of Dean's neck, his other hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean let out a sigh and placed one hand on the back of Cas's head, the other on Cas's hip. He pushed his lips against Cas's.
He ran his fingers through Cas's hair, it was softer than he'd imagined. His soft lips pressing against Dean's. He felt warm again. He forgot about the mark of Cain. He forgot about Metatron. He forgot that he had even become a demon. All that mattered was that Cas was there. That they were finally doing what they have been wanting to do since he was raised from perdition. There was so much warmth, love, truth in their kiss. They both lost themselves in each other. As the angel and demon engaged in a flurry of passion, the lights in the bunker exploded and they were plunged into darkness. Cas pulled away but his eyes did not leave Dean's. They were still holding on to each other and gasping for air like either of them could be taken away any moment.
"Sam has probably noticed that." Cas said, still holding his gaze.
"Yeah." He was speechless about what had just happened, he couldn't believe that he and Cas had finally done it. They had finally, pretty freaking much, confessed their love for each other.
"We should probably stop."
"Yeah."
"Did I- did I do it right?"
"Yeah."
They both laughed and pressed their foreheads together once more. They knew that after a while they would have to go and explain everything. But in that moment, there and then, just the two of them, everything was perfect.
"I love you, Cas."
"I love you too, Dean."
The End!
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. This is actually my first fan fiction so tell me what you think!