This is going to be (hopefully) an ongoing collection of drabbles involving Narcissa Malfoy with various ratings, genres, and lengths.

I welcome prompts, ideas, beta volunteers and especially REVIEWS!

PROPER

Narcissa put a restraining hand onto her grandson's arm as he reached out to take another piece of cake.

"That's enough, Caellum. You know Daddy said you were to only eat a piece."

"Pwease, Gwanma?" He turned big dopey grey eyes at her. "Pweaseeee?" He loved cakes so much.

Having experienced an exhausting night chasing after a sugar-fuelled four-year-old several months prior when she had naively fallen for this particular scam had thought her an invaluable lesson in life. Well, aside from the lesson of not blindly following a homicidal wizard who looked like a snake.

She pinned him with her coldest stare. "No."

His lips quivered and Narcissa melted into goo. Compromising, she let him have a pumpkin flavoured toffee from the bowl of sweets on the table. He smiled and munched happily. A few blissful minutes of quiet ensued.

When he finished his toffee, he turned to look at the icing covered cake and then at Narcissa several times. She stood firm and shook her head before turning to talk to a strange lady with an even stranger looking hat perched on her head. Caellum sighed longingly at the delicious looking cakes, looking around the room and the crowd of people gathered. He thought he saw his parents but they disappeared before he could be sure. Oh well... his grandmother was way more entertaining, anyway. But this party was awful... so boring... where were the balloons and games? Just a bunch of old people talking and talking and talking... and wasting all those cakes away... Grown-ups are so weird!

He thought about random things before he remembered something important he wanted to know.

"Gwanma!"

"Yes, darling?"

"How come Auwowa has no wee wee like me?"

Not for the first time Narcissa wished her adorable grandson would ask questions like these another time. Feeling her cheeks warming, she said as calmly as she could, "Aurora is a girl, Caellum, and girls have different wee wees."

Caellum looked belligerent, "So how does she pee, Gwanma?"

Narcissa also wished fervently that Caellum had better control of the volume of his vocal chords. Several people were turning to smirk at them.

"Shhh, darling... we'll talk about this later."

"No Gwanma! Mummy always answers my askings!"

"Questions, not askings, darling."

Caellum rolled his grey eyes in the exact fashion of his mother's. "Oceanmantics, Gwanma! Same thing!"

"That's semantics, sweetheart, and it's proper to use the right words."

"What's pwoper?" his dark eyebrows furrowed.

"The correct way of doing things, my sweet."

"Ohh...Must we always use pwoper wodds, Gwanma?"

"Always." Narcissa was congratulating herself for diverting his attention from his earlier questions. Her grandson scrunched his face in deep thought and Narcissa was again reminded how much he resembled Hermione at the moment despite his blond, grey-eyed features.

"Is wee wee a pwoper wodd?"

Narcissa counted to five slowly. "Well, not exactly..."

"So what is the pwoper wodd for wee wee?"

His long suffering grandmother tried a different tact. "Perhaps you should ask your mother and father."

"Daddy said to ask you ANYTHING here at the pawty. Daddy says not answewing my ask... I mean qwestens will stunt my gwoth."

I'll bet he did! She succumbed to the inevitable and whispered into his ears. "The proper word for wee wee is penis."

"Peenis?!" He screamed out before bursting into giggles; the word sounded droll to him. "We use a peenis to pee!"

Narcissa's beautiful regal features became awash in pink. The crowd of high society witches and wizards at the high tea hosting the Minister of Magic's wife tittered and chuckled. Narcissa looked wildly for her son and daughter-in-law who had left her to greet an acquaintance and disappeared. She sighed, regretting her decision to introduce Caellum to his first ever adult party. She ground her teeth as Caellum did nothing to hide his mirth, belatedly recalling Draco's reservation about her misplaced confidence in his son to behave.

Her effervescent grandson tugged at the robes of the wizard standing nearby. "You have a peenis! You use it to pee!" More giggles erupted and he repeated the word over and over again while running around the small crowd. "Peenis! Peenis!"

Holding on to her tattered dignity and moving as fast as she could, she tried to catch him and called out, "Caellum, you should not talk so loud here."

He whipped his head, his curls bouncing wildly. "Why?"

"It's not proper."

"Ohhh..." Brows furrowing again, he stared at the elder woman. "Must we be pwoper at pawties?"

She knelt down and held on to his small arms. "Yes, darling. It's good to behave properly. It shows we have breeding."

"Bweeding? Isn't the pwoper wodd wepwoduction?"

Right, you don't know the proper word for penis but you know what reproduction is!

"Yes, but breeding also means being brought up properly to behave appropriately."

"Huh? Appwo what?"

"Appropriately which means correctly."

"Why didn't you use the wodd cowwectly then? Shessh, Gwanma, honestly! Are you twying to make your only gwandson cwy?" he rolled his grey eyes.

"No, of course not!"

"Does Mummy and Daddy behave pwoperly at pawties and other pwaces?"

Narcissa pinned him with her a disapproving stare at his apparently disrespectful question and lied. "Of course. Your father was brought up well and your mother has had training on proper etiquette."

"What's eti.. eti...? Is it like Kit Kats?"

Unsure whose cat this Kit Kats belonged to, she frowned, "No, etiquette is the customary code of polite manners and behaviour in society."

"You are trying to make me cwy, aren't you?"

Narcissa counted to ten in French and closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, his brows were furrowed in thought again and Narcissa shuddered at the danger sign. "Would you like a pastry, darling?" she said hurriedly.

Caellum shook his head, brows still furrowed. He remembered sneaking down to one grown up party his parents held at home and looking for them everywhere and then being punished when he found them. Was it so bad to ask for a slice of cake? He didn't care what the adults were up to; he just wanted cake. His brains whirled and twirled madly beneath his dirty blond curls.

"Gwanma..."

Dear Merlin! Please have mercy on me."Yes, Caellum my sweet..."

"I wanna go to Mummy and Daddy."

She looked at him worriedly. "Are you felling unwell?"

"No, I have something to ask them."

Trying to be brave yet quivering inside, she said quietly, "You can ask Grandma anything, you know." Mostly anything, anyway...

"No, you have to answer them togewer." He looked at her seriously, with his jaw clenched tightly.

Narcissa sighed heavily. He had Hermione's stubborn expression down to a T.

"Alright then, let's find your parents." She held on to his tiny hands and felt the warmth flow through her at the connection. Despite their mischievous and exhausting ways, Caellum and little Aurora were her world.

He pulled her hand hard. "I think they went this way!" He led them to a quiet corridor and then stopped at a strangely moving tapestry.

"Is this pwoper, Gwanma?" he asked as he flung the tapestry aside to reveal a hidden alcove housing a lipstick stained, dishevelled Draco who had his pants around his ankles, entwined with Hermione who had one leg around his waist, her red dress bunched up and her lips swollen. Their twin expressions of shock was multiplied a hundred times on Narcissa's face.

Apparently satisfied without getting a proper answer from his now spluttering, outraged grandmother and his red-faced, flustered parents, Caellum skipped unconcernedly towards the banquet table to have a slice of cake. Judging by Gwanma's brilliant shade of red, he'd probably have time for several slices. He smiled happily; now this is what they could call a proper party!

Author's End Notes:

I chose Caellum and not Scorpius because I just can't see Hermione agreeing to name her son as Scorpius (sorry!). Caellum (pronounced Kayllum) is Celtic in origin, meaning the brave warrior and I chose it because it's spelling is similar to Caelum (pronounced Seellum), which is a constellation in the southern sky. Caelum means The Chisel in Latin.

For their daughter, I chose Aurora and not Rose because I think Draco would want his daughter named for something from the stars or skies. Aurora originated from the Latin word for dawn; it is also the ancient Roman goddess of the dawn. I've always been fascinated by the Aurora Borealis or Northern Lights and I think it is an apt name for Draco and Hermione's girl.

Please send me your thoughts!