Unlike other people who waited outside the glass partition to view their newborn babies, Emma merely followed a nurse inside. It's not like anyone would see her anyway. There she was – baby Swan-Mills. They hadn't decided on name – another debate between them. Emma had wanted something simple whether it was a boy or a girl. For a boy she chose Sam and for a girl she chose Samantha. She figured it was a good choice either way. Regina wanted something that had more of a flair. She was thinking Ayla if it was a girl or Augustine it was a boy.

Personally Emma was hoping this was one debate she won before her kid ended up with a name that would be misspelled or mispronounced by grade school teachers every where.

But as she looked down at her baby she realized it probably didn't matter (although really Ayla, she thought).

"You are so beautiful," Emma said smiling at the sleeping baby. "You are going to grow up and be just as beautiful as your mother that would Regina. She has already warned me about spoiling you, but Henry, that's your older brother, Henry and I know it's Regina who will do the spoiling. She is going to love you so much. I love you so much. I just want to be able to hold you in my arms."

Her mind flashed back again to her car ride to when she was responding to the robbery. She tried to block it out. She didn't want her first moments with her daughter ruined. She shook her head. Why did Daniel have to put that doubt in her mind?

She returned her attention to her baby girl. She seemed so perfect. How could anyone think that she and Regina had done anything wrong by using magic to help create such a perfect little girl.

"This isn't fair," she said. "I want to be your mommy. I want to watch you take your first steps, say your first words, take you to a zoo. I want to do all the things I never got to do with Henry. I don't want to make the same mistake."

Her mind flashed again, and this time she backed away from the baby bed.

Mistakes.

She left the nursery and went back to her room. She sat on the chair beside the bed.

"Mistakes. You were thinking about mistakes while you driving to that armed robbery. You didn't have your head in the game. You were thinking about a conversation you were having with Regina the night before."

Her mind flashed to that moment.

They were lying in their bed and she was reading a child's book to Regina's bare stomach because she had read that babies can hear in the womb and can come out feeling a familiarity with voices they hear. Regina wasn't so convinced, but since Emma got her the mint chocolate ice cream she was craving, she wasn't complaining.

Emma could lay there and stare in complete awe of that belly for hours knowing inside there was little piece of her growing.

"Your parents want us to come over for dinner on Sunday," Regina said.

"Do you think Henry will be ok with me and the baby?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, this is my first time raising a kid for real. You got to do all that stuff with Henry, I didn't and I just don't want him to resent me for not being there for him in the same way."
"Henry could never resent you. He loves you and he understands these are different circumstances from when he was a kid. You need to stop beating yourself up over it."

"It's kind of hard not to. I went to prison. I gave him up. What if, what if I'm not good at this whole being a mom to a young kid thing?"

Regina looked at her, "where is all of this coming from?"

"I don't know, I just … you know all of this stuff, how to change a baby, how to hold them properly, what the right kinds of foods are for them and the right kinds of diapers. I don't know any of it."

"I didn't either. When I got Henry I was a complete novice. You have to learn as you go. No one is perfect."

"You are," Emma said leaning over and kissing her and then kissing her stomach. "I just don't want to screw up."

"But you did screw up," Emma said to herself. "You screwed up before your child was even born. You kept thinking over and over again about how you gave Henry up. How you laid in the hospital bed after giving birth to him and you just knew that you didn't have it you to be a mom. You knew you couldn't give him the kind of life he deserved so you gave him up. And that is what was on your mind as you drove. You kept thinking am I good enough now? Can I be the kind of mom this kid deserves? And you thought …"

She buried her head in her hands, tears coming down her cheeks.

"You thought you weren't ready for this, that it was happening too soon. You thought maybe you had made a mistake by telling Regina you were ready to have a child with her. You wanted her to be happy, and you said yes, but maybe you weren't ready. You thought … you maybe you needed some time, some time away to really think about if you could do this. And then you were there, you were there outside of the store and the guy he came out. He had a gun. You got out of the car, but you didn't move to draw your sidearm because … because you heard that word."

She was suddenly no longer in the hospital. She was standing there watching it as it unfolded.

The guy came out, he had a gun. She was out of the car and he had a shot on her, but he didn't raise the gun.

"Daddy!"

She looked to her left. A little kid had just broken free from his mother and went running toward the guy. He has a son, her mind told her in those quick seconds. He has a son and he's going to go to prison for robbery and his son, his son isn't going to be raised by his daddy. The kid started to get closer. She couldn't allow that kid to get between her and his dad. She moved slightly to her left and yelled "stop" to the little boy who couldn't be more than 3. She turned back to the suspect and that is when she heard the first gunshot. It pounded into her, followed by the second one. She again saw herself down on the ground bleeding. The guy picked up his son and went running away.

It had all happened so quickly. But it shouldn't have happened that way at all. She knew how she should have responded, but her head wasn't in the game that day. Her head was still thinking how she might not be good enough to be a mom. Her head was thinking how would this new kid feel about his or her mom had been in prison. Yes, Neal had been a major reason she ended up there, but it was her actions that put her in that position. Just like that guy who robbed the store of money, and some promotional stuffed bear the hardware store had. Even as he was robbing the place he had seen something his son might want and he took it. So unlike her.

She had given birth to Henry and while she may say she gave him up to give him a better life, she knew a part of her gave him up not because she was thinking of him, but because she was thinking of herself.

Just like all the doubts she had been having, they weren't about Henry or her new child, they were about her.

She turned and went running, running back to the hospital.

She ran until she was back in her hospital room and she stood over her unconscious body.

"I get it now," Emma said. "I understand. The people –Eva, Graham, Henry, hell even Cora and Daniel, they weren't real, not really. You did this to yourself, which means you are the one who has to bring yourself back. Eva – she questioned your faith in your love of Regina. There is no doubt there. You love her and she loves you. She loves you despite your flaws and maybe because of your flaws."

"Graham, he asked why you didn't shoot – you said it because that guy was a kid, but that wasn't true. You didn't shoot because you showed up at the scene unprepared because you were busy thinking of your own doubts."

"Henry, he was just you mind's way of saying that your child would be ok, that no matter what happened along the way it would be ok because you weren't alone, you have Regina and you have your son."

"Cora was there to challenge you. She asked you if you would do anything to get back to your wife. You said yes but you didn't understand at the time that to get back you didn't need to fight Cora, you need to fight yourself – fight your doubts, fight to be the woman Regina deserves and the mother Henry and your daughter deserve."

"Daniel, Daniel said getting back to my family was entirely up to me. He asked how I got here in the hospital room. He didn't mean literally. He meant I had to accept my part in this. My part – the part that didn't believe she was ready, the part that was stupid enough to think maybe she needed some time away to process all of this. Well I am done processing it. I am ready so wake up. Wake up and be the person you know you can be – love your wife, love your family and you will figure out the rest of with them."

…

One year later …

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Samantha. Happy birthday to you," they all sang and then Emma who was holding Samantha in her lap helped her daughter blow out the candles as Regina took pictures.

Samantha's first birthday party was exactly what Emma had hoped it would be, complete with Samantha grabbing fistfuls of cake and Regina hastily trying to clean her up while Henry took the distraction to grab his own piece of cake before his sister destroyed the whole thing.

By the end of the day, the whole family was wiped out, but of course Regina insisted on cleaning up everything right after the guests left. Emma put Samantha down to bed that night, standing for a while over her. She could hardly believe her daughter was one already. It seemed like yesterday that she had been born – a process that both Emma and Regina missed due to their separate medical conditions.

She finally shut the door and let her daughter sleep, checking in on Henry and sharing a video game with him before heading to bed where Regina was already at reading a book. She got ready for bed and slipped under the covers.

"I can't believe she is a year old," Regina said.

"I was thinking the same thing," Emma said. "And about how we both were unconscious when it happened."

"I'd rather not think about that part of it. I was so worried you were never going to wake up."

"But I did. I woke before you did as a matter of fact."

"Yes you did. Imagine my surprise at waking to find myself sharing a room with you as you held our daughter in your arms with Henry right at your side. It was sight I still cherish. Although there is one thing about all of it that I have always wondered about."

"What is that?"

"While you were in a coma, you said you have some weird dreams."

"I did," she said. "It was my mind's way of sorting things out."

"Yet, when you woke up, you insisted to the nurse that you be brought to my room. How did you know I was in the hospital?"

It wasn't the first time Emma had wondered that exact same thing. "I don't know," Emma said. "It was just one of those things I guess. The mind is pretty powerful, and it can convince of a lot of things."

"Yes, I suppose, it's just …"

"Just what …"

"When I was asleep in the hospital. I also had this dream that I died on the table giving birth to Samantha. And you were there in the room with me and I saw the nurse holding our daughter. When I woke up and saw you in that bed holding the baby, I somehow knew you were holding a little girl, not a boy. It was weird."

"Yeah," Emma said. "Weird."

The End.