A/N- idk how British schools work
Summery: Dan and Phil broke up months ago, but when an intruder breaks into the school and threatens their lives Phil finds himself with in instinct to make sure Dan isn't touched.
Warnings: profanity, high school au, angst, violence, depression, slight fluff? i'm american?, what?
Dan had met Phil in the darkest time and he'd lost Phil in the darkest time.
It's been mouths since they so much as shared a conversation and although the punching of Dan's heart signaled that he missed Phil. He ignored it.
Because Phil didn't care about him anymore.
And Dan still had two more years of school, while Phil was at his last.
And Phil's parents didn't want him to like a boy, while Dan's parents didn't pay enough attention to care.
And Phil was looking at Universities and Dan was looking at symptoms of depression.
And Dan's dad liked to yell, and his mum liked to sit back, and Dan liked to hide under the covers.
But Phil's dad never yelled, and his mum never sat back, and Phil never had to hide under the covers.
Phil liked to tease Dan, he liked to come round and take him on stupid dates. He liked to bring him to parties and football games, then in the dark of night he liked to cuddle him up on the sofa even though it wasn't like Phil to do that, because he was to 'indifferent' to love someone the way he loved Dan.
And Dan was 16 and Phil was 18, and what they had only was found when no one was around.
But Dan's face lit up just mentioning the name 'Phil'. And the corners of Phil's lips curved into a smile when he heard Dan's lingering cheers at his games.
And Dan was the first to say I love you,
even though he wished he hadn't,
because Phil didn't look at him anymore.
And that made Dan angry, so angry, but the melancholy feel of Phil's finger tips still hurt to think about. He tried to understand Phil's reasoning for shoving him out the way he did, but he couldn't see past the hurt.
So now Phil didn't tease Dan anymore, he didn't come around to pick him where they would dance to silly songs and laugh where only the sun could hear, Phil took random girls to parties while blurring his vision with alcohol. Then when it fell dark he didn't cuddle any of them on the sofa, and he didn't love them either.
Phil missed Dan, a lot. He missed his witty humor, he missed the way Dan looked when he smiled, or when he was frustrated because Phil started to piss him off. He missed him but would never would admit it.
Dan was sad, and the sadness was obvious because of the way it soaked through his pores.
Now Phil didn't care if Dan was picked on, shouted harsh remarks by his colleges. He looked away when he saw Dan being flung against the freezing metal of the lockers that one Tuesday morning, when he was caught in the midst of being a smart ass.
And that hurt Dan more than the dull ache in his side.
Now Dan's facing a new kind of pain, it didn't hide in the bottom of a bottle, like his dads, or next to him in bed, like his mums. It hid in his mind and told him awful things.
/
Study hall was third period. The only class that contained both Dan and Phil.
Dan's eyes danced out the window where a patch of over grown grass whipped back and forth, he watched the morning drift into the afternoon. The seconds amble into minutes and the tapping of his foot wash into the shaking of his leg.
He really should be getting his school work done, last nights maths homework remained unfinished. But all the will power in the world couldn't force him to pick up a pencil. Forty-five minutes of staring out a window. Should bore someone, but Dan finds it completely more satisfying then getting an A on something he doesn't care about.
"Will you stop with the fucking tapping." A boy called Gabe hissed. His tone was quiet enough not to disturb anyone but harsh enough to get his point across. Dan turned his head to look at the grave eyed boy who's gaze was digging into his skin, Dan willed his leg to quit swaying and his foot to stop knocking against the floor.
"Sorry" he whispered more to himself than to Gabe who's attention has been captured by a pencil and paper.
A girl with soft hair and a nice smile risked turning her back to the front of the room to share flirtatious exchanges with Phil. Phil's elbows rested on the surface of the desk as he leaned closer to into a cloud of her perfume. She was called Molly, and she was to dulcet to get tangled in Phil's sick games. And Phil knew that, he just didn't care.
The ticking of the clock was to faint for Dan to hear but he could see the seconds pass with only minutes left until the bell. With this reassurance he rested his head in his arms, staring at the freckles dotting his skin.
Just as Dan's drooping eye lids were about to fall shut a shout lifted in the hallway, before a shattering blare sounded off within the brick walls of school. More shouting floundered through the open door way of the class room. That's when an alarmed vibe swarmed in the room, and Dan felt his heart hiccup into his throat.
He felt the panic settle in this chest while his ears rang and his stomach took a dive.
Another crack ripped through the air shattering the tension just as Dan's blood began to boil with dread, confirming everyone's suspicions. It all happened in a matter of seconds. Dan's vision blurred and his ears wouldn't stop ringing and he couldn't swallow.
Then Dan saw him. The man in the doorway with a crazed gleam in his eye. A hand gun was clasped in his fingers delicately placed into position. Dan didn't have time to get a full profile, because the man wasted no time to fire the gun again just as rounds terror rained into the classroom. The scent of fear was unbelievably strong, and unmistakable.
Dan was glued to his seat, he couldn't move and was shoved into the blackened terrors of shock.
To many screams danced around the room, but all Dan could hear was the subtle breathing of himself as he remained motionless like a deer caught in the headlights. His ears didn't work anymore and all he could do was stare to the front of the room.
Another bullet was launched into the air, along with another and another.
Dan didn't know who was being hit, he didn't know if they were dead, and he didn't know the man who held the gun. Everyone coward away from the man, and no one stood up to stop him, to much distress was clouding everyone's senses.
Seven minutes is a very long time when you are being put in a dangerous situation. Seven minutes is the estimated time given to someone in the mans position. Seven minutes to long, seven minutes of blood, seven minutes to endure what a taste of death feels like.
It only took Phil forty five seconds to realize Dan was in the room. And it only took him thirty seconds to spot and sprint towards him, revealing himself in plain sight, making it easy for a bullet to be swallowed in his flesh.
He didn't think when he pulled Dan off the chair and to the floor where some blood had crawled forming a stream of thick red liquid.
Dan was on the floor and he was aware, but he couldn't blink and he couldn't swallow and he couldn't feel his fingers or his toes. But Phil could feel his fingers and his toes and he was caked full of adrenaline when he shoved Dan to the back of the room. Where Dan stared ahead unable to help himself with limited use of his limbs. Dan's back hit the cabinets and he slumped to the floor before Phil scrambled against the tiles, slipping in someone else's blood.
Phil saw Dan's tan skin paler than he'd ever seen before, Phil saw Dan wasn't there. He saw the light in his eyes had diminished along with the feeling of safety. Phil pushed Dan's immobile body against the cupboards using his own body to insulate Dan.
Phil's chin was pushed into Dan's shoulder as he was balled in up against the floor, their legs tangled together while Phil's arms encased around Dan's chest and back.
The only thing Dan could smell was Phil's cologne, tinted with the smell of metallic metal from the spice of the room. The fabric of Phil's tee shirt was pressed into Dan's face, and his scent was the only thing that drew him into realism, but only slightly. Though he wished it hadn't because with each bullet rounded off Dan's body shuttered along with it.
During the third minute the shooting had creased and so had epinephrine in Phil's veins. But he still held on to Dan even when he felt pain prickle his side. And Dan just burrowed deeper into Phil trying to get as close as possible.
Both of their hearts raced unable to beat one another.
In the shrivel gasp of reality is when both Dan and Phil realized what had happened. The warm wetness in Phil's side expanded burning throughout his stomach, Dan could feel the blood on his finger tips where his hand pushed into the wound gently. His eyes grew wide and his heart swelled, like a tap on the shoulder every second spun him around and screamed in his ear.
The conflict fell in Phil's eyes as Dan gazed up at him, a tremble running off his back. Phil slumped back slightly as Dan weaved his hands onto his chest, Phil's body no longer isolated Dan against the cabinets. Dan couldn't hear or see anything other than Phil, in fear of a break down all he focused on was Phil. He arranged himself in a different position so that Phil was now leaning on him for support.
"I'm sorry" Phil cloaked draining the numbness in Dan's ears momentarily, he rested his head on the younger boy's shoulder, his breaths becoming rapid. Pain easing its way into his bones, Dan had never seen Phil so valuable, so unlike himself that he couldn't respond to the person before him who seemed like a stranger.
But Phil wasn't a stranger, he was hurt, and even though his usually deepen voice was now high and brittle, like dry twigs being broken, he was still Phil. Not the Phil everyone knows but a different version of Phil, the Phil that just committed a selfless act to protect someone he cared about. Crossed a room while a man with a gun and a gleam of corruption in his eyes, engaged in open fire, took a bullet in the process but still managed to do something redeeming.
And when Dan finally looks up he sees that they are not in the room alone together like how it feels, there are people in hysterics, the police are here, people are crying, people must have died, the man with the gun is no where to be seen. Dan couldn't hear anything, and he wondered if his hearing had been damaged, but he had heard Phil. So that must not be the case and as his eyes flickered around the room he couldn't find the voices of his classmates who were by now being escorted out of the building.
He yelped unable to hear himself, he didn't know how serious Phil's condition was, but he didn't want to chance him holding out any longer even if Dan couldn't see straight.
But what he didn't notice was that there were already men in black uniforms attempting to talk to Phil. And Dan didn't remember moving his hand to clasp around Phil's but his voice wasn't working when he tried to speak, and he couldn't hear Phil anymore, even though he could see his lips moving.
He saw Phil's cheeks were wet, and it made his chest feel heavy.
A calming feeling tried to shoo away the devastation, but it wouldn't stray. And Dan tried to breath more steadily, because he hadn't noticed how faint it had become.
A man keeled down in front of him, his lips were moving and sincerity over coated his eyes as he talked. But Dan couldn't make out the words, his hearing was still numb, and when he tried ask the man to repeat himself he couldn't form words, like his tongue was also broken.
The man finished speaking and stared at Dan waiting for a response but all he could do was stare at the man's face with broad ghost eyes. The man's warm expression showed concern as he gazed up to the other men who stood around them looking down at Dan. Dan felt Phil's body leave his side seconds later, but he couldn't move.
No color was left in his skin, his mouth slightly ajar as if he were trying to say something. His expression was slack, and overwhelming waves were hitting his mind over and over again. Dan tried to come back, but his body wasn't reacting right. The pounding in his ears still blared. And he felt like he was in a dream, no a nightmare.
Officers tried consoling him as Phil was rushed out of the building. Phil had the support of an officer attached to his side. Luckily his injury wasn't as bad as it felt, the bullet had only scraped his side. But enough to send jolts of pain through out his nerves and he was in need of stitches.
Panic still simmered in the back of his mind, and the officers had told him Dan would be okay, that he just went into shock. But Phil was still uneven.
And when he exited the building with a arm slung over the policemen's shoulders he spotted several students and parents blubbering in the parking lot.
A woman shouted as she struggled to free herself from the officers, trying to keep her cool. She exclaimed pointing to Phil, before the officers glanced over their shoulders. They released the woman and soon the clicking of her heels was heard against the cement. She neared Phil and would have flung herself around him if she hadn't noticed the blood soaking his tee shirt.
"Phil!" she cried, her makeup smearing under her eyes as she rushed to his side that was empty of aid.
"Oh my god is he okay?" she asked the officer, overwrought eating her words. "I'm fine mum." Phil's voice steadied, they were led towards the ambulances. "It's was a clean cut to his side some stitches are needed but he'll be okay." the officer responded despite Phil's reassurance.
A giant sigh of elation left the woman's lips as slipped her hand between Phil's shoulder blades.
/
Dan let out a sudden sigh snapping his mouth shut as he gulped. He felt light headed and disoriented, and he tried blinking several times. He didn't know where Phil had gone, but he assumed it was to get help so he tried to ease himself. The officers were still lingering, and another man now leaned in front of him dressed in all white, he was talking and this time Dan could hear his words, but they were hazy and slurred together.
The man was trying to pull him out of what he called psychogenic shock, and it was working but slowly. He kept asking Dan over and over if he could hear him. And Dan was managing to respond with head nods.
After a while Dan worked with the man and received some of the color back to his features. His heart rate slowed as he tried to block out the memory of today in order to help himself. He followed the man's instructions, breathing deeply and focusing on calming his nerves.
Finally only slight shivers ate at Dan's spine, he spoke words hardly audible but the man listened intently and didn't ask him to repeat himself. Dan could hear almost fully now and the paralyzed feeling left his body.
The man asked if he thought he could try and stand. Dan hesitated for a moment, before nodding.
Carefully the man extended his arm out, Dan stared at it for a split second before shakily lifting his own and grabbing hold. The man slowly pulled Dan from against the cupboards and onto his wobbly feet.
The man's smile was filled with encouragement as he released Dan's hand. Dan stood on his own, attempting to control his shaking form.
"Okay let's get outside and so you can get all checked out," the man said, "concentrate on me" he added, knowing Dan couldn't handle the sight of the room just yet. The man stayed close to Dan in case any dizziness clouded his senses again. Dan stared at the back of the man's head as he led him safely from the room.
There was blood in the hallway and Dan still focused on the man until it was all out of sight. The man turned around "There you go" he congratulated.
"What's your name?" he asked distracting Dan as they moved through the hallways. "Dan"
"Well Dan you did a very good job, and we're going to get you to your family alright?"
"Okay" Dan's voice wavered.
"I'm Jim by the way" he said as a side note just before they made their way out of the front doors of the school.
Dan saw over hundreds of people had gathered around all waiting behind a safety line a big majority of them were crying. Suddenly Dan was glad for his lack of friends, it wouldn't hurt as much as it would if he lost one.
/
That evening Dan's mum cried and hugged Dan for the first time in years, his father stood in the kitchen and watched expressionless. Dan hugged his mother back and let tears blur his vision.
He laid in bed, in fear of falling into nightmares that would surly swallow him whole. Hours past and the quiet that once calmed him was now driving him mad. Dan started crying. It wasn't silent crying either.
/
Phil's dad had met him and his mum at the hospital where he had been treated for his wound and allowed removal. His mum cried the whole way home. Phil was shaken and it didn't really get to him until he watched to news later that night. In all five were killed and nine were injured. His friends, his classmates. The names of the victims were yet to be released.
Phil laid in bed with the same fears as Dan.
/
Phil debated to pick up the phone, he needed to hear Dan's voice and know that he's going to be okay. He want's to apologize properly, for how he ended things. It's been a couple day's since the incident and it doesn't even seem real. Phil doesn't think he'll ever be able to comprehend what happened on that second Thursday of March.
Phil finally plucked up the courage and dialed Dan's number. The phone rang an ear full amount of times, keeping Phil perched on his toes. Even after all this he still would feel humiliated if Dan didn't answer.
But Dan did pick up, on the fifth ring his lacy voice drifted through Phil's ears "Hello"
Phil said nothing for a instant, his words caught in his throat. "Hey" he said, "I want to see you."
Dan was silent for a minute hearing Phil's words which traveled through the phone.
"I want to see you too."
They agreed to meet on the grassy cliff where they shared many moments, in about half an hour.
Both hearts jabbed at their rib cages, they were both nervous.
/
Half in hour goes fast when they both left as soon as they were off the phone.
"You're early" Phil greeted, climbing against the rest of the hill that sprawled into a meadow. Dan jumped, startled as he whirled around, he caught Phil's friendly eyes and smiled slightly.
"I could say the same thing." Dan's chest inflated with fresh spring air, the scent of newly grown grass loomed before their feet.
"You could." Phil said as he neared Dan who stood next to a large tree which branched out in every direction. A sloppy smirk lifted Phil's face and it made Dan feel at home.
"Are you okay"
But just as the smirk was brought out it was snatched away, Phil's expression became hardened as he stood only a couple feet away searching Dan's face. Another new side of Phil. the serious side Dan was new to, and now it suddenly started to seem like he didn't even know him at all.
"Am I okay? Phil you're the one who got shot." Dan's features were also suppressed into a stern expression. Phil shook his head "It was nothing, all stitched up, I'm fine."
Dan was hit with the influx tide of irritation, his feelings snapping back and forth until they decided to settle on anger. "How could you fucking say that, it doesn't matter how big the damn wound is you were an idiot-"
"Oh right I was the idiot, you were the one siting there practically begging to be shot." Phil retorted before Dan could even finish, acrimony slapping him in the face. A pang of hurt hit Dan, it hadn't been his fault, it was his mind and body's way of reacting. He couldn't control that. His expression gave it away and Phil instantly regretted his words.
"I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"I know" Dan cut him short and gazed at the ground. "I didn't mean to freeze up like that."
"It's okay Dan, I'm sorry." Phil tried again.
"You don't need to apologize Phil, you probably saved my life."
Everything was quiet for awhile and they just stared at each other, Phil longing more than anything to place a gentle hand on Dan's cheek. The stillness danced for to long and to strong and the only sound was the wind whistling.
Phil was packed with to much emotion. "I-" he stopped finding his tongue which dove into the back of his throat. "I do need to apologize, for a lot of things. I wasn't fair to you Dan, I know you think I'm some big dumb jock who's afraid of judgement, and maybe I am. And I'm sorry for that, I'm sorry that I was ashamed of what I- of who I loved." The lump in the back of Phil's throat made it hard to swallow. "And it's really shit that I needed something tragic to happen to make me realize it."
"When life is on the line you're truly put to the test aren't you?" Phil's head bowed.
Dan was a bit speechless and wondered briefly if he was going into shock again. His nails dug into his palms searching for flesh as he stared at Phil who didn't look like Phil. The Phil who constantly teased Dan for being shorter, poked at his sides, laughed at his habits, bickered with him just to see him worked up, the Phil who had the name trouble maker branded on his forehead.
But this Phil was soft and different, but Dan could easy learn to love every version of him.
Dan abruptly took a couple step forward, staggering Phil when he threw his arms around his neck. Dan gripped tufts of Phil's hair in between his fingers as he pulled him down so their lips would meet.
Dan kissed away Phil's harsh expression, he could taste the salt on his lips and was addicted to feeling of Phil's body pressed up against his own. Oh how he missed it, the lack of Phil had been like quitting cold turkey. Absolute hell.
And when they pulled away everything was going to be okay.
Because even though Phil will be leaving soon and it seems like Dan will never feel quite right. They will end on a good note. Dan will always remember how there was a person in the world who would risk their life for him, even if it was just in the spur of the moment. And Phil will remember the boy who made him feel like a better person for taking a bullet.
They know it's over, they know it's over for now. But that doesn't mean they can't find each other again.