Hi. I am late. Again. But life is hectic and my creativity is consumed by other ships. I haven't forgotten about this piece though, as I haven't forgotten about the people who once read it. I don't know if there is anyone waiting for my updates (I will be surprised if even one (1) person reads this to be honest), but please be patient with me, whoever you are.

I had written half of the chapter before I forgot to save it to my pc, then forgot to log in to the site for a while, and the site deleted all of my drafts. So I had to re-write it. My writing style has (probably?) changed; it's been three, maybe four years since my last update after all. Hopefully it won't be too jarring for you.

Enjoy.

XXXX

Jellal booted his computer, biting his lower lip as it purred under his fingers. In the kitchen the coffee machine gurgled to life, and slowly the scent of filtered coffee diffused across his living room. He glanced at his watch; 3:45am. He wasn't going to get any sleep that night. The thrill from the fight with Sting and Sabertooth still pulsed in his veins, the wounds and bruises stabbing his body in parts he didn't know they existed. Erza's tear-stricken cheeks and haunted expression wouldn't let him rest either.

There hadn't been many times Jellal had wanted to kill, but he wanted to kill Sting.

But the issue wasn't personal any longer; it was professional. And regardless of his murderous intents, regardless of the fact that he only wanted to seek out Sting, pull out all his nails and teeth and shove them up his ass, he had to make sure Sabertooth wasn't plotting anything behind the scenes.

He was pouring himself a generous cup of coffee when a soft knock caught his attention. Mug forgotten on the counter, Jellal walked up to his laptop, glanced at the CCTV and unlocked his door when he saw Urtear and Meldy's faces on the monitor. They were both dressed in black, hair tied back and faces stern. Like true professionals.

"Thank you for coming so soon," he said at the door. He stepped aside and both women entered, eyes searching the area, their guard high. Jellal sighed. "Coast clear, you can relax."

"You sounded so serious on the phone," Urtear said, cracking a smile, "Can't help but be on edge."

"And you know how grumpy she gets when you wake her up," Meldy chimed in, loosening her ponytail. Her pink hair fell around her face, reaching all the way down to the middle of her back as if it was weightless. "The whining at the car? Immense."

"Shut up babe."

When Meldy stuck her tongue out and Urtear bristled in response, Jellal snorted. He was used to this sort of back and forth between them, yet they were being loud and Erza waking up in the other room wasn't something he could deal with at that moment. He cleared his throat to get their attention. "Enough lollygagging," he said. He turned to Meldy. "You know what to do."

The playfulness in her expression vanished and she gave him a firm nod. She walked up to Jellal's study and sat on the chair in front of his laptop. She unstrapped the messenger bag from her shoulder and brought it on her lap, reaching for a tablet and a USB from what Jellal could decipher. She plugged the tablet and USB in Jellal's computer and her fingers started flying over the keyboard. It was to be expected of the best hacker Jellal had ever met.

"I'll go get her some coffee," Urtear said, "In the meantime, you shall debrief us."

Jellal did. He described everything that happened a few hours ago, how the Sabertooth gang cornered him and Erza, their fighting tactics, their weaponry, the things spoken between them. He skipped the parts about Sting's and Erza's past, he skipped Erza's breakdown in his room earlier, but Urtear nodded in satisfaction at the end of his speech.

"So you suspect this has something to do with us," she said.

Jellal nodded. "Maybe they are trying to get to Fairy Tail, then to us, since we are so strongly connected to that guild."

"I don't think that's the case," Meldy chimed in. Her fingers clicked on Jellal's laptop, pausing only momentarily before going off again. "Their issue seems to be..." she trailed off, leaning on the back of Jellal's chair. "...only with Fairy Tail. They have been attacking their servers too."

Both Jellal and Urtear approached, glancing over her shoulder at chunks of otherwise incomprehensilble text. Jellal frowned. "Lumen Histoire?"

Meldy shrugged. "I don't know what that is either."

"Is it some sort of weapon?" Urtear asked.

Jellal pressed his lips together. "I literally have no idea."

"Well, there is a way we could find out," Urtear said. Both she and Meldy fixed him with a piercing stare and when he rose both eyebrows, Urtear rolled her eyes and Meldy snorted. "Erza, idiot," she huffed.

"I will not use her for such matters," Jellal said, shaking his head vehemently, "Besides, asking her about Lumen Histoire is basically revealing who I am."

"Which is something you should do before she finds out," Meldy said, typing and biting her lower lip, "Or she'll light your ass on fire."

"Meldy's right," Urtear joined in with a nod, "She is Titania after all."

Jellal thought back to the legends about Titania, her epic fights, her beauty, her strength oozing from every ounce of her being. Then he thought about the angry creature that stained his shirt with her tears and clung to him while she slept earlier, and he once again realized that Erza was indeed the strongest person he knew. She could and would light his ass on fire. A smile tugged the edges of his mouth and he sighed. "She really is."

Urtear whacked him at the back of his head. "Don't fall in fucking love with her because she can kill you, stupid!"

"Don't fucking yell," he hissed quickly. He glanced at the closed door of his bedroom, then back at Urtear's questioning gaze. He sighed, "She's sleeping in my room."

Two pairs of eyes widened comically and Jellal face-palmed. "We didn't do anything, stupid," he muttered, answering the unasked question hanging in the air between them, "She was...upset after the encounter with Sabertooth and I was afraid they were going to break in her apartment, so I told her to spend the night here. She didn't mind. Now can we get back to work, please?"

"I'm done with my work," Meldy chirped. She unplugged all her devices, sliding them in her messenger bag while she spoke. "The attacks on our servers aren't from them," she said. "They only care about Fairy Tail for some reason."

"I'll investigate the archives about that," Urtear added. "More so about that Lumen Histoire thing. Unless you speak to Erza about it."

Jellal rolled his eyes, but chose to stay silent. He was aware how wrong his ways had been up to that day; he knew that hiding the truth was a cowardly thing to do, but he recognized himself as a coward already. He was nothing, he was trash, he was an absolute zero while she was light, she was power, she was everything good and Jellal didn't think he could ever think of catching up to her. He didn't deserve her, not when she was so strong and he was so brittle.

But... "I'll...see what I can do," he said in the end.

Meldy walked up to him, squeezing both his arms and kissing him on the cheek. "She deserves to know," she said sweetly. Then she glared, "Don't look down on her like that, you sexist swine."

Jellal rolled his eyes. "You're both nags." Right, but nags, he added in his head.

She pulled at his ear, sneering. "You might our boss, but you're an idiot and also our friend, so suck it up."

"Just get out," he said, "And be on guard. We will be in contact. Urtear, anything you find, send it to me."

Urtear took Meldy's hand in hers and rolled her eyes at Jellal. "Yes, boss."

"Don't call me that. I'll see you at the cafe later."

Jellal locked twice after they left. He pressed his forehead against the door, fighting the nausea nestled at the pit of his stomach. Being who he was and falling in love had always been two variables that couldn't exist in the same equation - he knew that much long before he met Erza. Ever since taken by the Council against his will, ever since he was forced to train and study and learn how to get a perfect headshot, all they had plunged in his brain that he couldn't be like other people; he couldn't have a family of his own, a normal, boring life, a wife or a child. He was an outcast and he didn't deserve such luxuries. He always had to live on the edge, kill or be killed, and surf on the dark web.

Erza had made him hopeful again. That he, the outcast, the piece of shit, the lost soul, was to find some light. He thought she could help him run away from this bullshit of a life he never chose, but alas; she was like him too. Lost, without a relatives, tied to a guild which took her in and protected her, then turned her into a war machine. However, Fairy Tail wasn't quite as bad as the Council; Fairy Tail behaved like a real family, according to the records. An aggressive family, full of short-tempered menaces that gave Jellal tons of paper work, but still a family. Always ready to take a bullet for each other.

The Council was always ready to plant a bullet between Jellal's eyes the moment he fucked up once.

Erza was still a ray of sunshine though, the single ray of sunshine bestowed upon his eternal darkness, and nothing in the world could change that. But the hierarchy of the world they both belonged to complicated things more; whether he liked it or not, he still had a higher status. He was a boss and she was a grunt, and knowing what could happen to her because of him, filled him to the brim with anxiety. There were a lot of people out there who wanted to hurt Jellal - people he knew and people he didn't know. Erza would be their first target. He wouldn't blame her if she left him after she found out who he was.

Jellal sighed and walked back into the kitchen. He sought out the coffee mug from before. The coffee inside had gone cold, but after taking a sip his mind was finally set; he was going to tell Erza the whole truth. There was no other way around it and he was tired of hiding.

A loud buzzing made him jump out of his own skin. He scrambled to the living room, seeking out the source of the noise until he located it inside Erza's backpack. It was her phone, ringing at four o'clock in the morning. Frowning, Jellal picked it up and glanced at the flashing screen - Gray, it read. Jellal hesitated only for a second before picking up. "Erza's phone, this is Jellal speaking."

There was a pause long enough for Jellal to remove the phone from his ear and make sure the line was still going. When he adjusted it on again and opened his mouth to speak, Gray beat him to it. "Am I interrupting something?"

"She's sleeping," Jellal said quietly, "It was a long night."

"I hope you guys used protection."

Jellal winced. "Not like that," he muttered. Then he paused, contemplating on briefing Gray, thus the entire Fairy Tail squad about their encounter with Saberthooth. He nodded to no one in particular, deciding for it. "We, um, got ambushed by Sting."

He could hear Gray grow rigid on the other end. After a few moments of silence, he hissed, merely over a whisper, "That bastard."

"He had around ten men with him," Jellal continued, "All of them armed. But we didn't get hurt, minus some scrapes and bruises."

"Is she okay?"

Jellal pursed his lips to a thin line, his eyes darting to the closed door of his bedroom. "Shaken up," he said, "But she's okay. Sleeping."

Gray clicked his tongue. "That piece of shit Sting," he scoffed, "He's got it coming for him. If only Natsu and Gajeel find out."

"Please don't raise havoc." He barely stopped himself from saying again. "Erza said she wants to talk to the Master first."

"Alright," Gray gritted. Then he added, "That bastard Sting deserves a grenade up his ass."

Jellal sighed and nodded vehemently, fingers curling to a fist on his side. "Couldn't agree more."

They were both submerged in silence on their respective lines for a while, but it was Gray who broke first. "How did you even get out of there alive?" he asked, "You said he had ten men with him and I know for a fact that Sabertooth are a bunch of strong motherfuckers."

It was the question Jellal dreaded the most. He bit his lower lip, mind working miles per second to come up with an answer convincing enough but not revealing enough to raise suspicion. He couldn't come up with something creative in such short amount of time, so he ended up blurting, "I am a blackbelt."

Not exactly untrue, but it didn't cover half of the truth, as martial arts wasn't enough to lay down Sabertooth men. He wasn't sure if Gray bought his lame act, but whether he did or not, Jellal didn't find out because the other man replied with a soft, "I see."

"Well," Gray then sighed, "I have to notify the guild so they'll be on the lookout. Have her call me when she wakes up."

"Will do."

"And thanks," he then muttered, almost sullen, "For not letting Sting get to her."

Before Jellal found the right words to reply, the line was dead. Jellal distanced the phone from his ear, staring at the screen before putting it back in Erza's bag. He looked around at his dark apartment, then with a heavy sigh, he walked up to his computer to check the CCTV once again. It was almost paranoia, but he was anxious. Not about his life, but about the life of the creature sleeping soundly on his bed at that moment.

Jellal stayed awake like a guard dog until he heard Erza's footsteps shuffling behind the closed door of his bedroom. He watched the door open until a mop of familiar long red hair stepped out. She looked around, but it only took a second to locate him. Her hair was all over the place, messy like Jellal had never seen it before. She looked like a gremlin and Jellal couldn't help but snort. "You look ridiculous."

Erza blew her hair away from her face, but it was too long and heavy to obey. She sighed and forced it to part with her fingers, so that her gorgeous face resurfaced from its shadow. Her eyes were clearly swollen, but she rolled them at him never the less. "Why did you let me sleep with my hair down?" she asked, voice hoarse.

"That was the last thing on my mind after last night, to be fair."

She made her way towards him, her lips pursed to a thin line. "I'm sorry you had to go through this." She straddled him on the chair, wrapping her arms around his neck and sighing. "Getting involved in our guilds' dispute wasn't on the terms and conditions you signed, was it?"

Jellal snorted, his own arms snaking around her waist in an instant. He leaned in, coaxing her into a gentle kiss that left him more breathless than any physical activity or action-packed situation.

"I only care about you," he said softly when they parted, "Are you okay?"

Erza gave him a small smile while she played with the hairs on his nape. "Something like this isn't going to break me, Jellal. Whatever Sting did to me has left a scar and I shed tears to the phantom pain at times, but I'm really fine. I'm not as fragile as I seem."

"You don't seem fragile. I'm not asking if you're okay because I think you're fragile."

"Sheesh, you always have something to say don't you?"

She was pouting and Jellal chuckled, nuzzling her neck. She was still warm from the sleep and she smelled like him, like his sheets, like his clothes' freshener, and Jellal wanted more. He dropped his head on her bosom, sighing. She played with his hair and for the first time, Jellal's fatigue caught up with him. He closed his eyes and sighed again. It wasn't the right time to relax yet though.

"You want to tell me something," Erza said.

With a snort, Jellal said, "You just read my mind."

"Is it about..?"

Jellal raised his head. He nodded.

Erza's expression turned stern. She climbed off his lap and offered her hand, which Jellal took and let her lead him to his couch. They sat close, facing each other. "I'm all ears," Erza said first, "Which guild do you belong to? I've never seen an insignia on you."

Her gaze was burning holes in Jellal's face with its intensity. He felt heat rising to his neck, to his face, nerves clamping down at his stomach. He reached out, taking her hand in his and licked his lips. "First things first," he started, "I want you to understand that I didn't tell you sooner because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of the consequences this could have on us."

Erza was silent for a second before her face twisted to a nasty glare. "Don't look down on me like that, Jellal."

Jellal squeezed her hand. "It's...not about me looking down on you, it's..." He stammered, not even sure himself what it was about. He shook his head and started over. "Hear me out, okay? I'm...not exactly in a guild. Not officially at least."

"Then what?"

Jellal drew in a shaky breath. That was it. The words were at the tip of his tongue and he was to spill them, ready to flash a light upon reality. His reality. "I am..." He cleared his throat. "A member of the Council."

Color drained from her cheeks as her eyes widened like saucers. A flurry of emotions crossed her face and Jellal gave her time to digest the information, as well as its consequences. It was a heavy secret; he hadn't expected her to take it in with ease.

Erza cupped her mouth and let out a shaky breath. "No."

A small, dry smile had Jellal's mouth twitching. He squeezed her hand in both of his. "Yes."

"There's no member with the name Jellal."

"A lot of us use code names. Mine is Siegrain. Or Sieg, for short. Jellal is my real name."

"Sieg-" She reached out, covering the top half of his face with her palm. Jellal couldn't see her expression, but her gasp was audible. "You always hide your face."

Jellal touched his cheek. "This mark is easily recognizable, don't you think? And since I go around using my real name, my face has to stay mysterious." He caught Erza's gaze as she lowered her hand to her lap and he swallowed. He caressed her thumb with his, trying to soothe himself rather than her. "I was taken in when I was a teenager," he said. "I was in a car accident according to them, vacant of all memories, a genius child with no relatives or anyone to look for me if I disappeared, so I was the perfect subject for them." Jellal chuckled, but it was drained of all humor. "They trained me, they turned me to a top-notch assassin, and I climbed my way up in rankings until I became one of them."

"So you're technically..." She paused. Then she whispered, "My boss."

Jellal could feel his stomach drop in his belly. "Right now, I am, yes."

Erza stared at their connected hands between them. Then she looked up, frowning. "You knew?"

"I found out when I met Gajeel and Laxus. Until then, I had only heard of you as Titania." Jellal sighed and licked his lips. "Listen Erza, had I known from the beginning, I would have probably never approached you. But then, just, shit, I fell in love with you before I found out about...well, about you. And ever since, I was trying to find the courage to tell you about me."

Her face was a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions, but Erza answered to his words with a simple, "I see."

"Do you hate me?" he asked.

She shook her head and sighed. "I am confused. But I don't hate you. After all, I didn't tell you about Fairy Tail right off the bat either, so I can't really judge you for keeping your secrets. That's why they are secrets after all."

Jellal smiled. He let out a sigh of relief, his chest lighter than it had been in a really long time. "Thank you for saying that," he said with every fiber of his body.

"Though I am annoyed you thought I'd leave you because of it," she added, her features twisting to a scowl. "I'm not that shallow Jellal, I... you matter to me."

Strings tugged at Jellal's heart at the honesty of her words. "I-" He groaned, pulling her in his arms. "I was clinging to whatever piece of normality I could grasp. With you, it was the first time in my life I felt normal. Besides, being with me puts you at risk." He let go to look at her in the eye again. Gently, he touched her cheek. "People want to hurt me, Erza. You'll be the first one to go down if they want to get to me. I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave me."

Even during a time like this, Erza's expression melted to a fond smile. She put her hand on top of his. "I have an entire family to protect me. And I can take care of myself just fine too."

"But-"

"No buts, Jellal," she cut him off quickly, snappily. "Unless you're going to break it off, I'm holding on."

Jellal closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I don't deserve this."

"You do though. It wasn't your choice to be tangled in this shit." Then her lips set on a thin line. "But you're an asshole for thinking so little of me."

"I don't think little of you," Jellal explained. "On the contrary, I think too highly of you, I think you're too good for me. I have no worth, Erza. I've hurt people badly to get where I am today; I've done terrible things. I'm..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "I'm a monster."

"Well, lucky for you I think otherwise," Erza retorted with a shrug. But then her eyes grew sad, distant. "I am no saint either," she said. "I too have done bad things in order to survive. But I keep on living to atone for my sins. And that's what you should do too."

Jellal dropped his head on her shoulder. He was utterly defeated by her. "You're really, really too good for me."

She snorted, her fingers snaking their way in his hair. She kissed his temple softly and whispered, "And you better catch up."

He was the first one to burst into giggles and she soon joined him without a care in the world; as if Jellal hadn't just revealed a piece of information which would put both of them in a significant amount of jeopardy; as if nothing had changed. And in fact it hadn't. Suddenly Jellal couldn't remember the reasons he had kept this a secret from her for so long; she was Erza. Of course she'd understand.

How stupid had he been.

Jellal held her for as long as she let him, squeezing her tight as if to incorporate her in his body and being. He wanted to cry, to scream, to laugh until he couldn't breathe; Erza was the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

"Gray said to call him when you wake up," he said after his emotions settled briefly. "I told him about Sting so Fairy Tail can be alert just in case."

There was a smile in her voice when she said, "Thank you."

"I'm just..." He lifted his head and stared deep in her questioning eyes. He made a face. "I know I don't have to say this," he said. "But I hope you realize this conversation should stay strictly between us."

Erza raised both eyebrows. "What conversation?"

Jellal blinked. "The one about the Council?"

"What Council?" She smiled knowingly and got out of her seat.

Jellal watched her retreating back, grinning as he caught on. "Right. What Council?" he asked and for a second there, he forgot about them. He let go of a sigh and his chest was light, lighter than it had ever been before. "What Council indeed..."

He watched Erza fish her phone out of her bag and adjust it to her ear. His heart fluttered when she caught his gaze and blew him a kiss. Things are going to be okay, he thought and he really believed so.

Little did they both know that things had just started to go terribly wrong.

XXXX

To be quite honest with you, I have no clue where I was going with this when I started it. So please be patient with me as I try to figure it out all over again. Drop a comment, if you'd like; I'd appreciate it a lot and I'll try to respond to you asap. Also, I'll try to update as fast as I possibly can, though I make no promises it'll be soon.

Regards,

Queen.