After watching Odd Thomas and being absolutely horrified and haunted by the depressing ending, this idea got stuck in my head.

An AU, changing the fight against Zelena and letting Rumple kill her in the barn but without the time portal opening because I wanted to figure out a way to give them a happy ending instead of the ending that was in Odd Thomas.

Beta'd by Gabe who needs to stop encouraging these bad ideas.

. .-

It was the Wicked Witch, of course it was the Wicked Witch. Zelena had her time portal open in that damned shed and time was ticking down for the rest of them to be able to stop her. The blinding yellow light was almost impossible to fight near but somehow, Charming's eyes kept on his newborn son and Robin's on Regina's heart as the battle raged around them. Between Zelena, Rumplestiltskin and the flying monkeys coming in from all sides, Emma almost wished she could have just fought Maleficent again. Back in the days when slaying a dragon seemed far fetched but easy compared to this.

It was always something. Always something there, haunting and hunting them. Unable to really take a deep breath and enjoy any of those so-called "small moments" that David once told Emma about. The only small moments she had so far had been a year and a lifetime of false memories in a life that didn't even seem like hers anymore. New York seemed as far away as the Enchanted Forest now. Another impossible realm.

Hook, or Killian really now, was by her side as he always was. A sword in his hand and his hook as deadly as can be, Emma can only grip the gun in her hands and hate that she knows the bullets would do nothing to help win this fight. What was it that Killian called himself just this morning? Cannonfodder? She may as well just be that as Rumplestiltskin waves his hand and her gun flies across the barn. She barely has time to think "Oh shit" before he waves his hand again and both her and Killian are thrown into the piles of hay.

When her eyes open again, it's only been seconds to her relief. Her eyes land on Rumplestiltskin first, seeing the wary and agitated look in his eyes that he was being forced to fight against them and they were failing to stop Zelena. Locking eyes with the Dark One, his brown eyes flicker to her right and her eyes follow to an unconscious Killian. Unconscious but with steady breathing as she watched his chest rise and fall and he'd likely reawaken like she did in a few seconds with a splitting headache. But seconds couldn't wait with two of the greatest evils facing them down. Emma makes a grab for Killian's sword, the metal feeling solid and somehow familiar in her grasp and stands to place herself between Killian and Rumplestiltskin.

The move is automatic and her eyes lock with Rumples again. She can see Regina and Zelena fighting out of the corner of her eye but she can't spare the time to help Regina. She knows that if she moves, Rumplestiltskin will attack again and she can't risk that, she can't risk leaving Captain Hook unguarded with his crocodile on the attack. Come on Regina, you can do this, she thinks desperately. Regina was a changed woman. Regina had broken the curse with true loves kiss. She COULD do this. After all the people that believed in Emma as the savior, she had to finally put her belief in someone else.

Killian stirred behind her, hearing his groan and the scrape of his boots against straw as he struggled to stand as quickly as possible. Something tightened in Rumple's jaw, tense, as his eyes darkened. It was hard to forget that after all these years, Rumplestiltskin and Killian still bore a hatred for each other that wouldn't easily be put to rest. Zelena's control or not, there had to be a reason why Killian was thrown harder than Emma and took longer to wake up. Rumplestilskin may not WANT to fight them alongside Zelena...but He couldn't deny that there was at least a little pleasure in hurting the pirate that had wounded him so badly all those years ago.

A bright, blinding flash of white light resonates through the rickety shed and Emma can't see anything for a split second and when she can...all She sees is Zelena flying backwards and Regina stalking victoriously towards her. Even Rumplestiltskin looks relieved as his body hesitantly starts to relax at the idea of being free. But with Rumplestiltskin distracted by this, Charming and Robin still distracted by the baby and heart, and Regina confident in this battle being over, Emma looks to Zelena. And horrifyingly, Zelena looks to Emma as a woman with wild and desperate eyes, determined to do anything to win. She was backed down and wounded but her wicked spirit was strong as she unleashed a last ditch effort to change the tide of the battle.

With a wave of her hand, a sickening green smoke swirled into a formless dagger. Nothing but smoke, poison and magic in a deadly combination with no way to block that was sent flying across the room towards the princess and savior. Emma was still a symbol of hope and Zelena tried to attack her instead of the Queen that had already knocked her down.

A sword can't block smoke but Emma reflexively brought Killian's sword up to try and defend herself before feeling a cold metal hook yank her aside and hit the ground. Zelena screams as Regina yanks away her brooch and leaves her magicless but Emma hears nothing as she scrambles in the straw and dirt to sit up and turn around.

The smoke dagger had hit Killian as he pushed her aside, vanishing into his body but Emma saw none of that, she only saw her pirates blue eyes flutter closed as his leather clad body crumpled to the ground.

"NO!" Someone screamed, and Emma was shocked to realized that the shrill and anguished cry had been her own. It was less than an hour ago that she had seen Killian in the same pale, position on the ground but soaked in water. "No, no, no, don't do this to me twice in one day Hook. COME ON!" Her lips are quickly muttering her jumbled thoughts as her heart hammers against her chest, her hands seeking out any form of pulse in his neck or wrists.

Not again. Not. Again. Was all she could think. She had JUST lost him. She had JUST gotten him to come back to her, to spend a little more time on this Earth with her by sacrificing her magic to bring him back. She had to have bought more time than this with her magic. He wasn't supposed to be taken from her again so soon. She still hadn't gotten to tell him she forgives him for keeping the curse a secret, or kiss him while his life wasn't depending on it or...or Tell him... Tell him she...

A choked sob escapes her lips because beneath her hand, there's no heartbeat in his chest and his skin grows colder in a way that has nothing to do with the snow outside. Yes, this had just happened today. But there had been a way to save him then and she knew it. She hadn't truly lost him before and she knew it, just like now she knows that she doesn't have a way to bring him back this time. He's truly gone.

Rumplestiltskin is rounding on Zelena, dragging the screaming witch towards him but her screams are mere muffled echoes to Emma. All Emma hears is the memory of Killian's voice. David has her newborn brother in one arm and he's kneeling next to her, shaking her with his other hand but she can't look at him. She can't look away from Killian's pale face, knowing that she'll never see that smirk again. A hundred memories of Killian, both good while on Neverland and bad while he was with Cora are crashing through Emma and shattering her heart and she screams at the same time as Zelena when Rumplestiltskin raises his dagger to sink it into the witch.

Zelena crumbles into broken porcelain but Emma is crumbling in a different way, in emotional agony. Zelena's scream is cut off by her death but Emma's is full of pain, the pain of a heart ripping in two. As something in her golden heart breaks, Zelena's curse is truly broken and Emma's magic floods back into her, overwhelming her as it mixes with her heartache and anguish. She's in too much pain to take a hold of her magic. Her emotions run wild and can't control it. Everything she's learned from Regina is unraveling and her magic erupts from her in a seismic white blast that sends David toppling over backwards. He's barely able to protect her little brother before he hits the ground and pushes himself back away from his daughter.

It's only the baby's crying that breaks the silence through the barn. Regina and Robin are confused and awestruck in the doorway but Rumplestiltskin tilts his head curiously, watching with baited breath as if he's waiting for something. Emma finally breaks her sight away from Killian's prone form to look to the baby and her father who has pain reflected back in his blue eyes. Her hands still on Killian's chest tighten and tremble because she knows David should be relieved and happy to have his son safe in his arms but the look in his eyes is the only thing that needs to be said between them. He's watching his daughter lose her true love. A pain that he wouldn't be able to live through if it happened to him which was why he volunteered to let Snow be the one to kill him. Sacrificing yourself was easy. But the toll it left on the other partner was a devastating blow to the soul.

"Emma, I'm so..." David trails off, not knowing what to say.

"Swan?"

Emma's heart almost stops again. There was only one person who called her Swan, one person with that husky, Irish accent. Her eyes fly down to Killian and his ocean blue eyes looking back up at her and she almost starts crying at the sheer relief of seeing those eyes again and secretly wanting to see those eyebrows arch devilishly again.

"Killian you sonovabitch." She lets out a hysterical laugh and smiles down at him as David gets back to his feet and tries to come over to Emma for the second time.

"Emma, come on... We shouldn't stay here. We can take care of this later..." His voice is still pained and she doesn't know why as she looks up at him and smiles.

"Yeah. We'd better get that little guy back to his mom, right?" She gets to her feet and looks back down to Killian, motioning with her eyes that he should follow them to the hospital. Wiping her tears as she leaves the barn, she doesn't question what it is that David will take care of later or why Regina and Robin are watching her so carefully and sorrowfully.

Or the way Rumplestiltskin gives one last glance to the barn as Killian quietly follows them in the back.

. .-

Emma leaned against the doorframe of the hospital room, a smile on her lips and her arms folded across her chest as she watched the tearful reunion between mother and child. She wishes that could have been her, that she could have been returned to her mother's arms when she was that young but that kind of happiness wasn't in the cards for the savior. She'd learned that the cold, hard way a long time ago. David brushes Mary Margaret's hair back lovingly as he leans down and whispers something in her ear. Snow's eyes widen in sorrow and pain as she looks up at Emma, the look in her eyes changing to a bit of confusion as she sees the smile on Emma and she looks back to David in confusion who holds no answers for her.

Killian's uncharacteristically quiet and far off down the hall from her. By now, Emma's gotten too used to his constant presence behind her or by her side and whenever she moves she automatically assumes she'll see that long, black leather jacket. It's a bit disconcerning to see him so far away. Over the past few days he'd held his distance from her, avoiding her and it'd strangely hurt her. Knowing now that it was the curse on his lips that drove him away and not any changed feelings, she walks over to him.

"Never thought i'd see one of those." He says softly as he tries to give her a smile, still looking far too pale in the florescent hospital lights.

"It's called a baby." She chides him gently, and all the heartache that she suffered through the day is erased as she looks up at him.

"No Swan. A smile."

. .

The next few days went by smoothly without Zelena. Rumplestiltskin proposed to Belle and the Charmings were moving their new son Neal into the apartment while Emma stayed in one of Grannys rooms with Henry looking for apartments. She passed by Killian's door a few times, tempted to knock on it and invite him down to breakfast or even just for a walk. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and something horrible was going to happen. Every time she tried to tell herself that it was only because it was what she was used to feeling...she Reminded herself that was because something horrible always DID happen. Every single time she lets her guard down, a new evil comes to attack.

A few times, she presses her ear against the door just to listen for him, to try and tell what he was doing in there but all she ever heard was silence. Finally breaking down, she took out a hairpin and knelt down in the hallway to pick the lock the way that Neal had taught her so long ago. She wasn't REALLY breaking and entering his room. It was technically Granny's room and it's not like she was going to steal anything...

Not that there was much to steal. The room was clean and empty and the bed was even made. Somehow, she didn't see Captain Hook as the type to make his bed and now that she thinks back she can't recall seeing him come or go into this room in the past few days. There were no signs of him being here. No black clothing or empty rum bottles littering the floor, no books, not even an eyeliner pencil. Nothing.

She leaves the room confused, thinking back to all the times that she'd seen him the past few days. Outside of Grannys, she'd invited him in for dinner thinking that now that there was no curse on him he wouldn't have a reason to decline but he'd looked in the window at the crowded diner and sadly shook his head all the same. He'd been waiting by her yellow bug in the morning just to smile at her and say good morning and that'd warmed her heart. She'd offered him some of her hot chocolate, secretly wanting to see if he liked cinnamon in it the same as her but he declined her offer once again. Even after she joked that sharing a cup would be like indirectly kissing. She couldn't believe he turned that down...

It felt like the curse on his lips all over again with his being distant and her not knowing why. He was still constantly by her side but he'd never felt so far away. She couldn't imagine him constantly turning down invitations to be around her family before, especially not after him and Henry had grown so close.

But Henry himself hadn't been the same the past few days. He tried to smile for his mom whenever their eyes met but he always seemed sad and lost in thought. Emma simply ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, assuming that he was grieving his deceased father now that he could remember Neal.

It wasn't just Henry though. Ruby gave Emma a hot chocolate on the house and let her hand linger on Emma's in a comforting way, telling her that she'd be here if she ever needed to talk. Emma wasn't sure what she'd want to talk about but thanked her all the same. Even Regina avoided eye contact with Emma and always stepped closer to Robin whenever she was nearby as if she needed an anchor.

Mary Margret had developed an odd habit of grabbing Emma into a tight hug whenever she was nearby and whispering hushed apologies as she stroked her daughters blonde hair and if anything had been wrong, Emma would have found it comforting. But she was only confused. She paused before entering the Charming's apartment, her hand hesitating on the doorknob and knowing that she was getting ready to walk into another awkward situation that she wouldn't be able to figure out. Maybe today would be the day that she would demand to know why everyone was treating her so odd when there should be nothing but celebration after defeating Zelena and the newborn prince being safe.

However, when she walks in, the first thing that her eyes land on are a long black leather jacket draped over a chair and a rum flask sitting on the table in front of it with a small wooden box. A smile automatically spreads over her lips at the thought of Killian being here and she shucks off her own red leather jacket as she walks over to the table.

"Where's Killian?" She looks to David who looks like a deer in headlights behind the kitchen counter. She vaguely wonders if him and the others are still referring to the Captain as Hook but Emma can't seem to do that anymore. She's moved on from his villainous persona and his real name always slips out so easily.

"We, uh, that is, Robin and I...we..." David looks around for his wife who was always his strength and support but she's in the nursery lulling baby Neal to sleep. "He's taken care of. We thought you might want to keep those." He nods towards the jacket, flask and mysterious box and Emma only rolls her eyes.

"Why would I want his jacket? Won't he freeze his leather butt off without this?" She reaches out and grabs the jacket, pulling it on anyways and being filled with his scent of, well, mostly salt water. Just the scent alone makes her think back of being out on the ocean with him on the Jolly Roger, sad that she hadn't had the time to enjoy the night on the pirate ship that they sailed to Neverland to rescue Henry.

The Jolly Roger.

That thought stopped her cold. Killian had been staying in Grannys and not on his ship, but why? Where was his ship? His jacket was heavy and warm on her limbs and she stashed the flask in the pocket, knowing he'd want that back as well. She needs to know what David meant by him and Robin taking care of Killian but whatever it is, she'll get Killian to tell her himself.

"I'll be back." She says in a rush as she practically runs from the apartment, needing to find her pirate more than ever. If he wasn't at Grannys and not at the Jolly Roger, where could he be? He was never far from her...

Truly never far from her, she nearly crashes into him as she runs out into the street but he luckily side steps around her before they can touch. For a second, she could have sworn that she saw his leather jacket on him, the same leather jacket that she was currently wearing, but she shakes her head and looks at him again.

Without his jacket on, he looks the same as he did back on the beanstalk that they'd climbed together. Who could have guessed that despite handcuffing him with a giant up there, that he'd make a habit of finding her and following her and they'd grow close? She was growing to depend on that habit more than she realized.

"Nice look you've got there Swan. Rather dashing if I must say so myself." He chuckles and throws her a wink as he takes in the sight of her in his jacket and she smirks right back at him, getting used to this back and forth between them.

"Thanks. David seems to think it's mine now. I might just take his side and keep it, it's warmer than I thought." She shoves her hands into the pockets and remembers the flask as her fingers brush it. "But this?" She continues as she pulls out the flask. "I don't think I can steal your rum from you. How'd you manage to forget this at the apartment anyways?"

Killian gives her that sad smile again as he looks down. She didn't like his new way of smiling at her, the way it pulls at her heartstrings because there's just something so sad in the depths of his eyes that's refusing to let him truly smile.

"Must've been drunk..." Is his weak excuse and Emma puts the flask back in the pocket.

"Well in that case, I'm confiscating your rum." She folds her arms across her chest and tentatively starts walking down the sidewalk. She doesn't hear his footsteps following her, but she glances to her side and he's there, by her side, as always.

Just when did he get so quiet? She tries to elbow him but somehow misses and he dodges to the side. A frown settles on her lips as she could have sworn that she made contact with him and just didn't feel anything but she decides to change the subject.

"So...when Are you going to tell me where the Jolly Roger is?" She glances to him again and he's stopped walking, looking at her so sheepishly and distressed and she can tell right away that there's something he's still hiding from her. He may have not lied to her, but he's learned how to dance around telling her the truth as well.

"Come on Killian. You were staying at Grannys? You stole a boat with Henry? How long did you think you could hide it from me? Is this what you've been trying to hide? About the last year?" Her voice gets softer, trying to coax him into talking.

He looks up at the sky and sighs, starting to walk down the sidewalk again as he hesitates and Emma persistently follows him, noticing that he's trying to walk out of earshot of Ruby on one of her jogs around the block.

"The Jolly Rogers gone." He finally says in a defeated tone and there's something he's holding back, she can just feel it.

"Gone?" She echoes back at him as they near the docks and he sits down at one of the benches that she sat on so often herself. Whenever she needed to think she found herself drifting towards the docks as if something was tugging her heart there, calling to her. It was this same bench she sat on when she was avoiding Neal's offer for a date and David had come after her. She sat down next to him, realizing that all the times that the both of them have been on the docks they'd never done something so simple as this. Just sitting together and talking.

"Emma love, you don't think travel between realms is easy do you? Even a damn good Captain as I, has to find a magic bean after I got the message and outsailed the curse." He smiles weakly and his tongue darts out across his lips as Emma leans closer, wanting to know what words were on the tip of that tongue.

"Of course it's not." She's somewhat comforted that he's sticking to his story about the message and she can tell he's not lying, he hadn't lied about getting the message which was something she'd need to make David apologize for later. She smiles again at the idea of him outsailing a curse to get to her, and smiles. Smiles had once seemed so foreign to her but were now so familiar when she was around him. "But how'd you get a magic bean?"

"By trading the Jolly Roger of course." And there it is. That smile he gives her when he says that sentence is a smile that clearly says it was painful but well worth it to get to her. He'd traded his brothers ship that he's had for over two-hundred years. He'd traded his home all for a chance to go through a portal and run through New York to try and find her.

She leans closer to him and he's unearthly pale in the sunlight, much paler than he should be but her heart is fluttering wildly and she can't control the urge she has to reach out and take comfort in this man that crossed realms to find her. The one person that she could rely on to never abandon her the way that she feared.

"Swan..." He whispers and she wishes that he'd call her Emma and love again instead. She'd been calling him Killian instead of Hook, they'd been letting their walls down together and she craved the familiarity that he always used as he invaded her personal space. The past few days with his careful distance, she'd missed the way he was always creeping close to her. It felt cold without him and she ignores the warning in his whisper as she leans in for a kiss.

She leans in and her lips meet with nothing. Her half-closed eyes open and stare at him in confusion as he jerks back from her. Their hands don't even touch. He doesn't allow it as he stands and backs away from her towards the water with grief stricken through those blue eyes.

Emma's green eyes try to meet his for an explanation as to why he'd pull away. She was at a loss for words. She had thought that this was what he wanted all along when he kissed her on Neverland, when he declared that he loved her in the Echo Cave and when he'd promised to fight for her. Why would he allow himself to come this close, to pull her in so near only to back away? The curse was broken, wasn't it? What could possibly still be holding him back?

"Why?" She demand and it comes out sounding angrier than she meant but she can feel an anger building behind the unshed tears of frustration in her eyes.

"I can't. Swan, believe me, please, but I can't..." His words sound strangled like he has a hard time getting them out without breaking down himself but she can't listen to his vague excuses. She gets up from the bench and walks away from him with more than disappointment settling in her heart.

. .

Instead of going back to the hotel room, she finds herself at her parents apartment again, still in Killian's ridiculous jacket but it felt heavier on her than ever. She practically rips the leather off of her as soon as she's in the door and throws it into a corner. One of the tears manages to break loose and runs down her cheek and before she knows it, her mother is by her side with her arms back around her without even asking what's wrong.

She appreciates that she's not asking what's wrong, not prying into her daughters personal space but confusion and anger is building up in Emma like a storm that can't be contained. Like her magic had when she was knelt over Killian's body after Zelena's defeat. She could feel it building again and had to let something out.

"It's Killian." Is all Emma can manage to say and Snow tightens her grip around her and tries to shush her.

"I know honey, I know...I Know it hurts but you've been doing so well so far, so strong..." She strokes Emma's hair again and looks at her full of pride.

"But it's not enough to be strong, is it?" Emma's words came out rushed. She always tried so hard to be strong but the stronger she pretended to be, the harder it hurt when she got knocked down. "I...I Tried to kiss him, and he just pulled away. WHY would he do that? Doesn't he love me?!" All the words that she'd wanted to say to Killian on the docks are rushing out now like an avalanche and all her parents can do is try to soothe her.

"Do you need to talk about it Emma?" David's voice comes near and he gives his wife a sad but knowing look. "Talking might make things easier...we Were just thinking that maybe a few sessions with Archie could help"

"Help what?" Emma cut him off. "Being rejected by the one person that I thought would stay by my side no matter what?"

"Emma honey, it's not like he choose for this to happen..." Snow tried to keep her voice calm for her daughter.

"Of course he did! You weren't there just now, you didn't see the way he..." Emma paused when her parents comforting expressions turned into confusion.

David's the first to break the silence that dropped at the end of Emma's sentence when she can't continue. "Just... Now? Emma, I don't understand. What happened just now?"

All Emma can do for a second is look back and forth between her parents. She thought they'd understood somehow. They'd both been so quick to her side when she was upset over Killian but now it felt like they were not only on two different pages but in two different books all together.

"I...I Told you... I tried to kiss him..." She says slowly, only to be cut in by David.

"When?"

"Just NOW!" Emma jerks out of Snow's grasp and waves her hands wildly, unable to figure out why nothing was making sense. "I went to give him back his stupid jacket." She shot the leather in the corner a glare, "And I tried to kiss him and he...he..." She stops. She doesn't want to repeat it. She may have not daydreamed over Killian Jones but in the back of her mind she'd always had a scenario of their first real kiss and this was definitely not it. "Forget it."

Blonde hair swirls as Emma turns and leaves to take a walk by herself and clear her head from the pirate as Snow and Charming give each other horrified looks.

"What...what Was that all about?" David slowly says after the moment starts to sink in for both of them.

Tears build up in Snow White's eyes as she looks at the closed door and puts a hand over her mouth. "Oh Emma... Oh my god David, she's... She hasn't been holding it together like we thought. All this time she's been losing her mind... She just can't cope with the fact that Killian died."

. .-

I hope the writing style was alright. I've never re-written an episode in an AU so I was trying to skip over the scenes that were already in the shows so I didn't bore you with the same script repeated. Not sure how much longer this will be. Maybe only a chapter or two. Emma is pressured into going to Archie to talk to a therapist about Killian and finally learns the hard truth in the next chapter.

To everyone that's seen Odd Thomas, I know that in the movie the ghosts could touch people but not talk but since Emma can't usually see ghosts I figured Killian would need his voice but had to change it so they couldn't touch to clarify he wasn't really there.