Meredith rushed into the neuro preclinical class the day after. Christina trudged on behind her, a starbucks drink (that had almost made them late to class) clutched tightly in her hand.

"Christina! Look!" Meredith exclaimed. Christina slowly lifted her head. From the sound of her voice, Christina would have expected their to be an actual, beating heart on display. No… Meredith had found two seats in the front row. At this wonderful neuro conference. Meredith had left half an hour early yesterday, so she wouldn't be mad if Christina did the same today. The thought brought a small smile to Christinas lips as she haphazardly threw down her belongings on the desk beside Merediths immaculately organized one.

"Its just a resident, Mer. Seriously. I doubt anything worthwhile will come of this."

But Christina's words were lost on Meredith. It had just turned to 4 PM, and Meredith had taken her seat, actually crossing her fingers together on the desk in front of her. Christina wanted to laugh at her, but everyone in the room was quieting down, shuffling papers, so she just plopped into her seat.

Christina looked over at Meredith, perhaps to say one last thing before the atmosphere of the room truly wouldn't allow it, but she stopped. The door at the back of the class had opened again, and since the speaker wasn't there, everyone assumed it must be him.

Christina allowed herself to admire the man. He was running, probably because he was late to this class. Not very proffesional, Christina thought snidely. His hair was black, and moussed back, but had lines drawn across it as if he often could be found with his hands running through it. His eyes were a light blue. They contrasted his hair, and pale skin. He was athletically built, an attractive man by any standard, but not Christinas type. She turned to comment on this to Meredith, but when she looked back at her best friend, she was met with a stranger. Merediths grey eyes were huge with appraisal, and she was smiling beautifully. Not to attract the man who would be preaching neurology to them for the rest of the afternoon, but because of him. Seeing him was causing Meredith to smile. Christina balked the throw up that was threatening to rise in her throat.

Derek sat at the small, wooden, and insanely expensive coffee table in front of his equally exorbitant sofa. Everything in his Manhattan brownstone was like that. When he had proposed to Addison, and they had consequently moved in together, she had gone on a quest to find the most needlessly expensive furniture and decorations one could possibly imagine. Never mind that as busy residents, they were never home to enjoy (if you could even enjoy) the redwood tables and fine silk tapestries, they could barely afford the lifestyle anyway. But, that was Addison, she wasn't accostomed to his financial awareness. growing up as a Forbes-Montgomery, money had never been worth consideration.

So, despite the fact that Derek didn't even particularly like the decor, he spent as much time as possible lounging about his home, attempting to feel better about the truly ridiculous amount of money he had spent furnishing it. Today was no different.

He did have more time than usual. Taking the afternoon off of his shift to speak at Columbia, he hadn't bothered to go into work that morning either. Instead, he stayed at home, slowly going over every word of his two hour speech, making sure that it was perfect. He was already going to be doubted, as a resident instead of some obsolete, wizened old man, he really didn't need there to be something wrong with what he was actually saying.

And there wasn't. Webber said it all the time, he was far more skilled and knowledgeable than one would expect for his years. That was why Webber had recommended he speak at the preclinical after Nousbaum, Dereks mentor, dropped out. Of course, Derek had been shocked, but it had soon disappeared, giving way to ecstasy at the prospect of gaining experience and preaching to the young and impressionable minds of med school students. He still couldn't believe Addison had tried to convince him not to do it.

"Honey, I just don't think its the best idea." Addison had placed a hand on his shoulder, and had given him a small, condescending smile.

"What? Why?" Derek searched his mind for some reason, any reason, why this wasn't one of the best things that had ever happened to his career. Two seconds before, he had been ecstatic, he couldn't understand why she wasn't excited for him.

"Derek, do you think you have enough experience, you know, as a doctor, a real doctor, to be giving these kids any sort of advice? I mean this is a big thing. Their introduction to neuro. You wouldn't want them to turn away from your field just because they had an inadequate introduction, would you?" There was that belittling smile again.

"You think I'm going to do so horribly that they avoid neuro for the rest of their careers? Seriously?" Derek shook Addisons hand of his shoulder, outraged. She was never very supportive of him, but this was a new low. The biggest opportunity to blow his way in, well, his entire career, and she was sure that he would ruin it?

"Oh, Honey, don't be dramatic. I just think maybe you should recommend somebody… older. A stronger, more prominent surgeon."

"What does prominence have to do with anything? I'm giving taking points on neurosurgery, which I do know a little bit about, by the way. I'm very capable, and just because I haven't won any awards or saved anyone that no one else can save doesn't mean I'm unequipped!"

"Okay, Honey."

"Okay? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hun, you asked me what I thought you should do, and I told you. If you are going to insist on arguing with me, I don't know why you asked."

"I didn't ask you whether I should do it, I tried to share something I was excited about with my wife. I thought she would be happy for me. i won't be doing that again!"

Derek sighed. He didn't understand what was happening to his marriage. Not too long ago, the sight of Addisons smile was all he needed to get through the day. Now it was just there. It had to affect on him. He didn't strive to see it. He was indifferent. It was there, it wasn't. Whatever.

He couldn't see what had happened over the last through months that had driven such a wedge between the two of them. Yes, before that things had been awkward and stiff, but now… It was like neither of them cared in the slightest. It had been sudden, a couple months ago, he had asked her out to dinner, as an obligation, not really wanting to go, and she had said she would rather be working. She hadn't come up with a lame excuse, like she had to monitor a patient, or she was going out with friends. She had just simply told him she would rather hang out at the hospital and work, not an interesting surgery, just labs and SCUT, than be alone with her husband for the first night in weeks. And he hadn't cared. In fact, he had been… almost relieved.

Now he felt guilty. He had ignored the problem for two months, thinking they were both just very absorbed in work, it was nothing, but now, he had to face his dilapidated marriage for what it was. His marriages slow slide towards the point of no return had just sped up dramatically, and Derek couldn't even blame it on Addison. How could he blame the fact that he spent the entire previous night dreaming about amazing sex with a girl he hadn't even spoken to, who hadn't even noticed him in that crowded coffee shop, on Addison?

He felt so guilty. Men are supposed to think their wives are the most beautiful women in the world… right? And Derek used to. Oh he really used to. Her creamy complexion, her endless legs, her shocking hair… He couldn't understand why someone as flawless as her wanted to be with him. But now her skin was too creamy. Her legs were too long. Her hair was… the wrong color. Red? No, it should have been blond.

Derek tried to stop, but he couldn't. He wanted to hit himself for his mindless attraction to a woman he had watched for barely ten minutes. He didn't understand it. It had never been that way with Addison. They had been friends for months, and eventually he had noticed the casual hints she was dropping for him to ask her out. And he had obliged. Nothing like this all consuming passion he had for the girl, Meredith. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her… But he couldn't. he was married, for gods sake, and besides, he didn't know how to contact her. He could go to the coffee shop at the same time as he did yesterday, but it was out of his way and he had no idea if it was even a usual place for her. On top of that, she could have a boyfriend, be engaged, be married… He was married! God he had to stop thinking about her. He tried to quiet the small part of his brain that was still praying she wasn't a lesbian.

Derek ran a hand through his hair. This was no way to start a very important day. Following the very, very cold shower he had had to take, he was sitting on the sofa, where instead of going over his talking points, he was thinking about another woman. A woman who wasn't Addison. A beautiful, small woman with blond hair and gorgeous grey eyes… Ugh!

Derek pushed up from the sofa and began to pace. It was only then that he noticed the time on his four hundred dollar tabla blackboard clock, which hung silently above the fridge. Another Addison purchase. It was 3:30! He sighed, grabbing his papers and his bag and running out the door. What an amazing impression, the inexperienced resident speaker showing up late.

In the cab, Derek tried to arrange his papers back into semblance. How perfect it would be to awkwardly have to search through his out of order papers to find the correct next one in the middle of his speech. Finally content with the arrangement, Derek turned to stare out the window in anticipation. Everything had to go right. This was so important. He would get Chief Resident for sure if he pulled this off. It showed initiative, leadership, and actually doctorly ability, above all else. But if he screwed this up, he'd lose out for sure. If he couldn't give a simple lecture, Webber wouldn't trust him with the hospitals residents.

Finally, the cab arrived, and he groaned to see it was four already. he hastily paid the driver, not bothering to get his change. He ran through the campus, but luckily the lecture hall he was looking for wasn't far. Throwing the door open, he knew he was the last to arrive. He slowed on the steps down to the front of the room, he really didn't need them to think he was nervous as well. Finally, he reached the podium in front, and he placed his papers in front of him, shuffling them unnecessarily. About to begin, he looked up to address the students. His eyes glazed over most of the hall, but as he looked back toward the front, his eyes locked with a beautiful grey pair, framed with long lashes and beautiful blond waves. His voice caught in his throat, and a wide smile stretched across his face, unbidden, but not unwelcome. He felt heat pass through his entire body, and for the first time in months, he felt happy, truly, beautiful, happy, just on top of the world. Never letting his eyes leave hers, Derek began to speak.

"Hello everyone. My name is Derek Shepherd, I'm a fifth year resident at Mount Sinai, and I'm here to talk to you about the brain."

Meredith just stared at the beautiful man in front of her, letting a small smile graced her lips. His black hair was gelled back in perfect haphazard waves. His blue eyes locked on hers, intense and clear, she could look at them for hours. He wore a small smile as he spoke, his smooth voice melting her. He was tall, taller than her, by a lot, but not so much that she would have any trouble if she decided to stand. right at this moment, and kiss him.

Woah! Where had that come from! Meredith never thought like that about guys. She appreciated their bodies. She admired their hotness. In fact, back in college, she had appreciated and admired guys almost every weekend, and some weeknights as well. But that was behind her. She didn't have time for guys, for anyone. She lived and breathed her studies. So why was it that with every second that this man continued to gaze into her eyes, her smile grew wider and she sunk deeper into her seat, a warm safety of warmth surrounding her?