he first time Jack O'Neill decided to risk kissing Samantha Carter, he waited until the last few moments he had before the reset.

Because it was scary; it was one of the biggest risks he had taken in a decade. Considering his life over the past decade, that was quite a statement to make.

Because if she didn't kiss him back, it would be devastating. He hoped that if she saw him resign first it would make her decision easier. But if she didn't kiss him back…well, then what was left of his heart and soul would just shatter into bits, into the subatomic particles she liked to talk about, and go spinning off into space never to be reunited again.

Sam was the last chance he had at 'normal'.

He waited until the last moment and didn't tell anyone what he planned – not even Teal'c, who would have understood, and especially not Daniel, who wouldn't. He marched in and handed Hammond his resignation, tried to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest, fought down the panic attack, pulled the woman he loved into his arms, and kissed her.

It was a sweet kiss, slow and hot and wet with no signs of getting rough or demanding and – Christ – she was kissing back, mouth open, and he was lost in it, in the gentle, slowly shifting caress of her tongue and a faint taste of salt that swirled in and hinted at tears. Her hand cupped the back of his neck and held him there and her body was supple and willing in his arms. It was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

A tingling, throbbing heat flowed through his body, the slowest and hottest arousal he'd ever experienced. He kept silent but she moaned into his mouth, an inadvertent sound, full of longing.

When they broke apart he had one brief, heartrending instant to stare into her shocked, passion-filled eyes, to watch her lovely, kiss-reddened lips form his name…

…and then he was sitting at a table in the commissary, a spoonful of Froot Loops halfway to his mouth, Daniel looking at him inquisitively, and Carter a million miles away across the table.

He decided not to use the same tactic the next time. He formulated a new plan. But it took him another few cycles to work up the courage to do it.

He ignored Daniel's sincere request for his opinion, dropped his spoon into the bowl of cereal with a clatter of metal on ceramic and a healthy splash of milk, and speared Carter with a look.

"Briefing's canceled," he said before he could change his mind.

"Sir?"

"Jack?"

Jack didn't look at Daniel. He was superfluous in this cycle.

"Go put on some civvies and meet me in the parking lot, at my truck," Jack said.

"Sir?"

"That's an order, Major. Make it something casual."

It was the last order he'd have the right to give her, at least for the next ten hours. He stood before he could change his mind and went to his office to write out a letter of resignation.

When he made his way into the parking lot, Sam was waiting by his truck, as he had requested, wearing a nice pair of jeans and a white tank top. "Is this all right?" she asked, making a gesture that started at her tennis shoes and ended at her shoulder.

"It's perfect."

If she was startled that he opened the door for her, waited for her to get in and then locked and shut the door like an actual gentleman, she didn't comment on it.

It took about thirty seconds after they left the parking lot before she started talking. He grinned a little to himself. He had made a personal bet that she wouldn't make it a minute and half.

"Sir…" she began.

"Jack," he interrupted.

Sam turned her head and blinked at him. Maybe she thought this was something covert. Maybe she thought the truck was bugged. Or maybe she thought she was being kidnapped by a lunatic – and wasn't that really somewhat close to the truth?

"It's Jack," he repeated.

"You sound like Daniel," she complained. "Where are we going…Jack?"

"Pueblo," he answered.

"Uh...may I ask what's in Pueblo?"

"The State Fair."

A lovely flush of frustration stained her fair skin and he watched a muscle in her cheek jump.

Four years. For all those years it had been about the program, about his 2IC Major Carter. It had been about Daniel and Teal'c, and the team saving the world one wretched mission at a time.

For the next ten hours, it was about Sam and Jack.

"I turned in my resignation," he said quietly.

Her eyes, startlingly blue, widened in shock. "What!? Why?"

The answer to that is simple, he thought, because I love you too much to keep being your CO, as if that's all I ever was or had a right to be, because I go crazy every time I have to put you in harm's way, any of you really, all of you, you're all too special, too important to be out there, but god, you, especially you. Carter, Sam, I've wanted to kick you off the team and make you ride a desk just to keep you safe but I can't, I can't because you'd hate it and you'd hate me and it would kill you.

"Is this where we finally Talk About It?" he asked, emphasizing the last three words.

Sam ducked her head and then stared deliberately out her window. "You mean this thing between us?" she asked, quietly. "Is that why you quit?"

Jack eased the truck into the traffic heading south on US 85, adjusted the cruise control and then reached for her hand, grasping it firmly in his. Her hand felt solid and real, skin soft against his palm, a steady, feminine strength.

"The truth?" he asked.

Sam looked back him then, glanced once at his hand covering hers in the middle of the truck seat and then back up at him. He forgot how to breathe for a moment.

"I'd prefer that," she answered.

"I resigned so that we could have this day together and see how it goes," he answered.

"And then what?" she asked, voice rising, getting a little frantic."We just go back to the way things were? Hope Hammond didn't put through the paperwork while we were gone? Figure no one will ever know but us? How can you think that everything will just go back to normal again after this? How can anything ever be the same?"

I'll know, he thought bitterly, but no one will ever know but me…

Out loud, he barked, "Carter!" in his command voice. She reflexively fell silent at the sound of it.

He watched her do what he knew she was going to do. She exhaled a long slow breath to calm herself, shoving her response into some corner of her mind that wasn't concentrating on being furious with him.

"Can we just do this?" he asked, quietly. "Just have a few hours of nothing but me and you? Tell me you haven't wanted that and I'll turn the truck around."

Sam inhaled. Her lips parted and for a moment Jack thought he was going to have to find the next exit. But she had kissed him back, dammit, and he knew…he knew….

"You can keep going," she said softly.

He risked taking his eyes off the highway long enough to see her head tilt and a brief smile raise the corners of her beautiful mouth. Her expressive face betrayed her; it nearly always did. He saw hope and longing, wariness and a sudden stubborn defiance that matched his own.

"Carpe diem, huh?" she said.

Jack put both hands on the wheel to change lanes and snorted. "Now who sounds like Daniel?"

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